Is it love if you consider cheating on her/him?

[Thee3ternal]

IDK the idea of cheating/sex is IMO the product of dwelling on that idea.

I can see another girl, be attracted, etc. but I don't really think about sex either if I'm dwelling on it, or once she starts getting closer that I can touch her and smell her etc.

So IMO being in situations where you can realistically cheat on your s/o to me are a product of you putting yourself in that situation.

[Jasonw1178]

It's proven that the part of your brain that loves your wife/gf and the part that fell in love when you first met her are different parts.

My girl and I are kind of swingers. Hard to explain. I love her to death, I know she loves me. We are "that couple" that is always all over each other, like newly weds all of the time. People refer to us as lovebirds. However, when it comes to sex, we enjoy it with each other, but also with others. There are boundries and rules.

Most couples who have been together for a while, there is almost this resigned animosity, almost like brother and sister forced to live together. Yeah they love each other and are faithful, but just not really happy. Swinger couples, totally different. Like we have our issues, and the open lifestyle has caused some of them, but prevented others.

[Tsudo]

This is why the divorce rate is at 50%.. people think once someone loves them they can stop working at the relationship.

I can't wait until the guys in here are coming home to their wives in flannel pjs with greasy hair and no makeup everyday for a decade.. then let's see how they feel about this comfort crap.

Blows my mind that people can't make the connection..derp..I cut my toe nails in bed next to my wife and take a **** with the door open but I can't figure out why we haven't had sex in 6 months...

One could argue that the divorce rate is so high is because people hold higher expectations and don't take the vows seriously in the first place. Nowadays, people are disposable -- you do one thing wrong and it's a wrap. What part of "for better or worse" [within reason] is such a hard concept to grasp? "For better or for worse, unless you fart in front of me, clip your nails bedside, and don't shut the door when you pee." People expect their spouse to accept them as they are -- all flaws and all perfections. They expect to be able to come home and be THEMSELVES in their own home and in the presence of a person who is NOT supposed to judge them. To try to say, "I like the good but don't let the bad show" is just hypocritical seeing as it's another human with the same physical issues (the need to fart, burp, ****, piss, sweat, create sebum and hair oil, etc.) is saying it. Yes, being in a perpetual state of slothdome is bad, but to say that one single thing is enough to kill the attraction and having that be not closing the door to piss -- wow. Out of all the things a person could do to invalidate the vows of a marriage, I can't even fathom how that one is near the top of the list. If it is, then maybe one needs to reassess their feelings.

[AJ7123]

One could argue that the divorce rate is so high is because people hold higher expectations and don't take the vows seriously in the first place. Nowadays, people are disposable -- you do one thing wrong and it's a wrap. What part of "for better or worse" [within reason] is such a hard concept to grasp? "For better or for worse, unless you fart in front of me, clip your nails bedside, and don't shut the door when you pee." People expect their spouse to accept them as they are -- all flaws and all perfections. They expect to be able to come home and be THEMSELVES in their own home and in the presence of a person who is NOT supposed to judge them. To try to say, "I like the good but don't let the bad show" is just hypocritical seeing as it's another human with the same physical issues (the need to fart, burp, ****, piss, sweat, create sebum and hair oil, etc.) is saying it. Yes, being in a perpetual state of slothdome is bad, but to say that one single thing is enough to kill the attraction and having that be not closing the door to piss -- wow. Out of all the things a person could do to invalidate the vows of a marriage, I can't even fathom how that one is near the top of the list. If it is, then maybe one needs to reassess their feelings.

No one is saying if you do any of those things one time it's grounds for a divorce. Do it all the time and you are killing the attraction. You're trying to maintain attraction to the same person for 30+ years obviously that takes work.

Keeping your bathroom and grooming habits private is not asking for much. Just like I'm not gonna get upset that a guy expects me to shave my legs, put on makeup, curl my hair and wear cute underwear... All those things take much more effort than reaching over and closing the bathroom door before you take a ****.

[TimeToGrowUp]

IMO, if you cheat or want to cheat, the relationship is likely past the point of saving, so you might as well breakup.



I can confirm, I have been that guy. Thought I had the girl wrapped around my finger -> took it for granted -> stopped trying -> gained weight -> didn't want to take her out anymore -> went through the motions until she finally broke it off. I cringe looking back.

I was also that guy. She was completely obsessed with me and we lived together for years, hard to believe this is real life sometimes.

It is definitely grounds for a breakup and, combined with my selfishness, I'm not sure how it lasted so long to begin with.

[Aaron4Prez]

you can't walk to the bathroom and fart? can't brush your teeth and pop a couple mints? wear jeans and a tshirt?

I imagine you and any girl you date to be the 500 lb beluga whales that appear on TV needing to be separated from their newly formed couchskins.

This is why the divorce rate is at 50%.. people think once someone loves them they can stop working at the relationship.

I can't wait until the guys in here are coming home to their wives in flannel pjs with greasy hair and no makeup everyday for a decade.. then let's see how they feel about this comfort crap.

Blows my mind that people can't make the connection..derp..I cut my toe nails in bed next to my wife and take a **** with the door open but I can't figure out why we haven't had sex in 6 months...

Lmao at both of you. It sounds like some people are hitting a little to close to home for you two to go on the offensive like this.

And just fyi, I will enjoy having my greasy haired girl who walks around in sweats when we're home together because THAT'S NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT IN A RELATIONSHIP. If you can't be comfortable with your significant other without looking your best, something is wrong. You can't be expected to be 100% on your best behavior (like first date behavior) for your significant other all the time and that shouldn't even be what's important. People get comfortable around each other, but that is NOT what can kill a relationship. If that's true, no relationship would last more than 2 years tops.

Oh and please call me when you find your prince charming who still after 2+ years of dating will voluntarily walk into the bathroom to fart and always piss with the door closed and always be dressed to the nines because they want to impress their heavenly blessed beauty inside and out 10/10 high maintenance girlfriend.

[Chrom3y]

wtf at the guys ITT?? That AJ chick is on point with every post.

Idk why people believe love is unconditional. You initially fall in love for certain things that person had in the beginning. If that person isn't willing to at least try and maintain those things then why should you continue to love them? They are no longer the person you fell for at that point.

What you guys don't realize is that relationships are a constant "game". It all comes down to keeping each other attracted which falls on both persons' shoulders.

"Kiss of death" was the perfect way to put it. We're all human. All this fairy tale nonsense doesn't exist. Love takes work to maintain. If you guys think you can relax after you bag a girl then I got some bad news.

Oh and getting too comfortable is even worst on a guys part. Women mainly need to stay pretty, not gain weight, and not nag too much. Guys have much more areas they need to have locked down to maintain attraction. Sucks but it's the truth.

[Loneyboy]

I'd say the difference would be thinking, considering, doing.
Thinking: Love
Considering: Nope
Doing: You're a piece of chit

[Chrom3y]

Lmao at both of you. It sounds like some people are hitting a little to close to home for you two to go on the offensive like this.

And just fyi, I will enjoy having my greasy haired girl who walks around in sweats when we're home together because THAT'S NOT WHAT'S IMPORTANT IN A RELATIONSHIP. If you can't be comfortable with your significant other without looking your best, something is wrong. You can't be expected to be 100% on your best behavior (like first date behavior) for your significant other all the time and that shouldn't even be what's important. People get comfortable around each other, but that is NOT what can kill a relationship. If that's true, no relationship would last more than 2 years tops.

Oh and please call me when you find your prince charming who still after 2+ years of dating will voluntarily walk into the bathroom to fart and always piss with the door closed and always be dressed to the nines because they want to impress their heavenly blessed beauty inside and out 10/10 high maintenance girlfriend.

Lol at this guy. Yea you take your greezy bish and see how long your happiness lasts. When you meet a chick she tries and show you her best. Constant exposure to a less pleasant version of her will deteriorate your relationship. Don't be so naive.

And on top of that you've got testosterone flowing thru you're body. Trust me you'll either resent the bish and cheat on her, or you'll dump her and get your cawk wet by someone that pleases your eyes. Or you can do what most people do. You'll waste years of your life suffering in silence because you "love" her. Ya know because love is putting someone else's needs before your own.

Lol just lol

[Aaron4Prez]

Lol at this guy. Yea you take your greezy bish and see how long your happiness lasts. When you meet a chick she tries and show you her best. Constant exposure to a less pleasant version of her will deteriorate your relationship. Don't be so naive.

And on top of that you've got testosterone flowing thru you're body. Trust me you'll either resent the bish and cheat on her, or you'll dump her and get your cawk wet by someone that pleases your eyes. Or you can do what most people do. You'll waste years of your life suffering in silence because you "love" her. Ya know because love is putting someone else's needs before your own.

Lol just lol

Quick question for you: what was your longest relationship? (if you're not a fa like everyone else on this forum). Have you ever lived with your girlfriend? I'm gonna guess it's less than a year and no and if so stfu.

Also just lol at your previous post.

brb fell in love with guy because of personality and humor and looks
brb none of that's changed but he farts in front of me and wears sweats
brb should break up

[Chrom3y]

Quick question for you: what was your longest relationship? (if you're not a fa like everyone else on this forum). Have you ever lived with your girlfriend? I'm gonna guess it's less than a year and no and if so stfu.

Also just lol at your previous post.

brb fell in love with guy because of personality and humor and looks
brb none of that's changed but he farts in front of me and wears sweats
brb should break up

Been with my girl for just under 4 years and been living with her for over a year.

Whenever I start getting too comfortable and not taking care of myself/ looking like a bum I can tell she behaves differently towards me. You can literally feel the loss of attraction. Same goes for me when she goes too long without looking good. Call me shallow idgaf. But when I'm out in public and my gf is dressed half assed or in her work clothes I get really annoyed. I'd appreciate some effort on her part. Just because I love her doesn't mean I want to stop liking what I see.

And bro I think you're taking what AJ said too literally. Over time people tend to stop putting effort into the relationship. It's not about farting once and breaking up. If you love someone you should WANT to keep them attracted. You should WANT to remain a fun, spontaneous, loving person to keep them happy. You sound like you're the one who has never been in an LTR. People get lazy. Some couples do something about it before it gets out if hand, and others are oblivious to their mistakes just like AJ's ex.

[EUHustler]

Gained weight, started peeing with the door open, dressed sloppy, never wanted to go out, over sharing, clingy.. basically everything you can do to ruin a relationship.

whats wrong with peeing with the door open? Me and my ex used to pee in the shower together sometimes

[AJ7123]

Been with my girl for just under 4 years and been living with her for over a year.

Whenever I start getting too comfortable and not taking care of myself/ looking like a bum I can tell she behaves differently towards me. You can literally feel the loss of attraction. Same goes for me when she goes too long without looking good. Call me shallow idgaf. But when I'm out in public and my gf is dressed half assed or in her work clothes I get really annoyed. I'd appreciate some effort on her part. Just because I love her doesn't mean I want to stop liking what I see.

I'm d bro I think you're taking what AJ said too literally. Over time people tend to stop putting effort into the relationship. It's not about farting once and breaking up. If you love someone you should WANT to keep them attracted. You should WANT to remain a fun, spontaneous, loving person to keep them happy. You sound like you're the one who has never been in an LTR. People get lazy. Some couples do something about it before it gets out if hand, and others are oblivious to their mistakes just like AJ's ex.

Im glad someone has some sense.

Some people won't get this until they are in a sexless marriage.

[AJ7123]

whats wrong with peeing with the door open? Me and my ex used to pee in the shower together sometimes

Notice how she's your ex? Unless you got some pee fetish no reason to do that.

[EUHustler]

Notice how she's your ex? Unless you got some pee fetish no reason to do that.

shes my ex because i moved to a different country...we still talk all the time...and i dont find peeing disgusting.

now chitting/farting on the other hand....thats gross

just because u might be turned off by it doesnt mean every girl is

[AJ7123]

shes my ex because i moved to a different country...we still talk all the time...and i dont find peeing disgusting.

now chitting/farting on the other hand....thats gross

just because u might be turned off by it doesnt mean every girl is

Well if she was also peeing in the shower too then obviously she's just as lazy as you are.

There are lots a nasty messy women who can't be bothered to keep their **** together. Doesn't it mean it's what you should be doing.

[Mr Beer]

As usual everyone is arguing because you tards take everything to extremes. Yes, you're going to relax in front of each other after years, yes that's normal, no that doesn't mean you completely stop every form of washing and grooming and that you take massive fetid diarrhoea schitting sessions in front of each other (unless you are into that). Not doing hair and makeup before 9am every morning isn't what kills marriages.