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Thread: Matches have pretty much died ³
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05-12-2021, 04:32 AM #3001
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05-12-2021, 06:42 AM #3002
This guy has a good post that counters the typical advice.
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...post1638329423
It goes for men and women. Banging randoms doesn't help one feel better after a relationship ended because you miss sex with that emotional connection and your happiness should't be dependent upon the opposite sex.Make It a Great Day! Just call me Dusty. It's a Clown 🤡 World out there.
Christian Crew
Positivity Crew
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05-12-2021, 09:26 PM #3003
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05-13-2021, 07:58 AM #3004
- Join Date: Feb 2009
- Location: Houston, Texas, United States
- Age: 52
- Posts: 5,827
- Rep Power: 82915
This is definitely true. You can postpone loneliness and the missing of the ex, but if you're still in love with them, the feelings will not just go away because you banged a random. Even starting a new relationship won't necessarily help; it just takes time.....lots of time.
BTW, your Avi pic is very sexy and drives me a little crazy! Not sure if I had already told you that.
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05-13-2021, 08:52 AM #3005
Yeah I know a lot of women who bounce from relationship to relationship and it doesn't help heal from the last relationship either. You're right about time. I was devastated last summer and now it's just something I feel sad when I think about but it's rare that I do.
Hahah thanks. Inb4 Lucy says WK How have you been?Make It a Great Day! Just call me Dusty. It's a Clown 🤡 World out there.
Christian Crew
Positivity Crew
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05-13-2021, 09:05 AM #3006
- Join Date: Feb 2009
- Location: Houston, Texas, United States
- Age: 52
- Posts: 5,827
- Rep Power: 82915
Yep, my previous ex was still not over her previous when she met me.....and that didn't end well for either of us.
WK? How is complimenting an Avi white knighting??? I thought white knighting was jumping in and defending a woman when she's being verbally assaulted.
Doing well. The winding down of tax season is in full swing and we are crazy BUSY!
I got my vaccination out of the way, so I'm ready for some celebrating!! How's the dating going? Anything you haven't reported yet?
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05-13-2021, 12:14 PM #3007
Women generally have an easier time moving on.
Maybe, maybe not. No need to make such assumptions unless there's something he knows, and it doesn't really matter at this point anyways. Waste of time to even think about it.
Maybe for some. Sounds like typical self-help "find yourself" advice that really only applies if the person is trying to find happiness from random sex in the first place.
I mean, I certainly don't find some emotional fulfillment or happiness from eating a cheeseburger, but it tastes good and I enjoy it. Should I deny myself the pleasure and learn to "become happy" without cheeseburgers because of that? Lol. Same with banging some random, or least back when I did it. Banging some random after a breakup isn't really to get over the ex. It's because it's better to miss an ex with an empty ballsack rather than being on a dry spell on top of everything else. I understand it can be good advice for men who are emotionally needy, but it's presumptuous to assume that's the default. Of course, if he's not interested in banging randoms anyways, no need to ever do so.Last edited by MediocreGains; 05-13-2021 at 12:20 PM.
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05-13-2021, 12:23 PM #3008
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05-13-2021, 12:40 PM #3009
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05-13-2021, 12:46 PM #3010
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05-13-2021, 01:01 PM #3011
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05-13-2021, 02:11 PM #3012
I was teasing you as a young kid (19) said hnnnggg about my avi and Miscers ripped on him.
Tax season. I’m glad that my friends handle that and not me lol.
I was sick for a month with a sinus infection so I missed a lot of dates. I met a hot younger guy I’ve been talking to and Misc rated him 8.75. He models so I’m nervous to meet someone that good looking, but I’ve dated models before. I was just younger and leaner lol.
At any rate he’s in finals and can’t meet until June. There was a 53 year old who fumbled and asked me to meet at his place for a bottle of wine vs. in public so I got upset, then he said he’ll buy me dinner to make up for it. Still, I’m kind of annoyed and won’t date an older guy unless it’s the traditional way.
2 27 year olds recently asked me to dinner but a 53 year old wouldn’t? Just lol.Make It a Great Day! Just call me Dusty. It's a Clown 🤡 World out there.
Christian Crew
Positivity Crew
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05-13-2021, 09:07 PM #3013
Been stressing out about kissing. Feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. When I kissed her goodbye I tried to give her a peck and she opened her mouth and I kissed her teeth and felt like I did something wrong. Also when we made out for 10 seconds we didn't make any kissing noises. No idea if I did something wrong or what's going on. I don't want stuff like this stressing me out and making me lose confidence so I hired an escort for a 30 minute appointment today.
So what happened with the escort:
I told her I wanted her to teach me how to kiss and she said okay lol and we kissed for 5 seconds and she told me to use my tongue more and I ended up gagging. Then she's like lol you have to kiss someone you like and are comfortable with and it comes naturally. She's like I have mouthwash over there. I know you want to use it lol. Then she's like do you have a gf? Then I told her about the girl I saw once and how i was seeing her again tomorrow. She's like lol that's so cute. Then she spent 2 hours giving me dating advice. But it was typical bluepilled advice like date 6 girls at the same time. Don't just date 1 girl. And she showed me her bumble and was like "see. I'm talking to all these guys (50 guys) and don't even meet up with 90% of them." Then she's telling me how the nightclub is better than online dating and it's the best place to meet girls. And taking a girl to a bar is the best date. Get her drunk. A movie is a bad date. And she's like stop seeing sex workers, you're too cute to do this and they will make normal girls boring and go to the gym. And she wants me to text her when I have questions and gave me condoms lol.
Yeah I'll stick with marrying the first girl who breathes in my direction lady. I'm a 27 year old incel. I don't have 1k bumble matches like you.
Also just want to point out that a 37 year old prostitute has 1000x my sexual market value. hahahaLast edited by imbored21; 05-13-2021 at 09:42 PM.
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05-14-2021, 11:00 AM #3014
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05-14-2021, 11:09 AM #3015
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05-14-2021, 12:03 PM #3016
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05-14-2021, 01:28 PM #3017
I consider myself blessed because I have an unbreakable will when it comes to NC. I never reach out under any circumstance. If they reach out to me, I may consider replying based on the circumstance.
That said, I miss my ex lol. I've never actually really wanted a girl back after a break-up, but I wish this one would come back.
Can't believe, as of today, it's been 3 weeks already. Haven't heard a word from her since the day things ended and I will not break NC and reach out to her either.
Slowly and slowly accepting this will be reality moving forward.
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05-14-2021, 01:30 PM #3018
I have broken it in the past, even though I’m generally very strong willed and disciplined. At the time, I was alone and had no close friends and family around which makes it 100x harder, and it was a 3+ year relationship.
It’s really difficult. Kudos. I think most of the incels that say “NC”, “just go NC bro” don’t understand how difficult it can be.𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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05-14-2021, 01:51 PM #3019
I can only imagine how tough that would have been.
It's been my friends/family/this forum that have kept me afloat these last 3 weeks.
She's graduating the last week of May and I was supposed to be there with her to celebrate. Ironically, while we were together, I introduced her to one of my good friends who is a great photographer who will be taking photos of her during the grad ceremony. My friend knows we've broken up as I told her the whole story and I suggested to her that she should still be a photographer for my ex at her grad, which she agreed to.
I'm trying to let go of the expectation, but yeah, secretly kind of hope that my friend talks with the ex and she reaches out to me.
This type of hope is generally toxic and I'm really trying to get rid of of that expectation before that week comes lol.
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05-14-2021, 03:25 PM #3020
Niiiiiceeee~ Well w/e you do, please don't go full retard and admit you saw this prostitute like you did the last time. That time you admitted you got hookers is your first and last time mentioning it to the girl OK???!!! first and LAST!!! That's cool you got an extra 1.5 hrs for free. If you guys bump teeth, just laugh it off and try again, it's like farting during sex, it's not a bad thing. It may be awkward, but you don't have to ruin the mood over it.
Goals:
-stop being fat
01/01/2022
209 - 206 - 199
in gradschool
single and hating it
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05-14-2021, 04:14 PM #3021
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05-14-2021, 06:00 PM #3022
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05-14-2021, 06:14 PM #3023
That’s rough.
How did it end? Was it on good terms? Cheating?
If the former that’s kinda weird how she hasn’t texted you in 3 weeks. If you cheated then yeah she won’t come back.
NC is hard when the girl was like your main source of going out/adventure. I have friends but I don’t care to see them a lot of the time lol.
If people have a solid crew of friends then NC is a breeze. But as Lucifer pointed out, it’s very difficult for the rest of us.
Then you begin to wonder “maybe she’s waiting for me to come back” and eventually break NC.
I mean what have you go to lose. She’s maybe waiting for your text to see if you can rekindle it and work on it. If you miss her that much just text her and see what happens. Or you’ll be kicking yourself wondering what if.
Keep in mind exes get back together all the timeLook, i know i don't really know you and all, and i know you probably hear this like everyday, but your just so perfect to me. The few hours we talked were really great even if the convo was stale, your really pretty and chill, and your country thats just perfect :'D i really dont know how to explain it, but i think i have feelings for you somehow. i never felt like this with someone i just met, but i felt the need to get it off my chest. sorry for being all weird just idk how to explain it D:
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05-14-2021, 06:37 PM #3024
I talked about it on here a while back.
But basically met a girl a few months back and hit it off very fast. Soon developed into a relationship and everything was going really well. Never had any sort of fights or even arguments...girl was great and never shown any sort of red flags. We were at the point of hanging out 5/6 day a week and basically living with each other. PRetty much exactly what I wanted in a relationship
3 weeks ago, on a an ordinary evening of hanging out she dropped an atomic bomb and told me she wasn't over her ex fiancee and that she didn't feel the same way about me as she did with him and didn't know if she ever would. This lead to her breaking down and confessing that she didn't think she could do this anymore and eventually broke up with me.
She aint coming back. I'm better off not going off and looking for things I wont want to find.
I was pretty crazy about this girl too SMH.
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05-14-2021, 06:56 PM #3025
Life is weird man. Some people just get lucky in any or all walks of life. Some people are born into wealth and opportunity, some get lucky and happily marry their high school or college sweetheart, some land their dream job via perfect timing or meet the right person that sets off their business.
Then others can work much harder, make better decisions, but just have bad luck in some or all areas.
Luck is a factor, for sure. But I do like this quote.
“I'm a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it” — Thomas Jefferson𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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05-14-2021, 08:30 PM #3026
Yes I know this one woman who is fit, found a great job at a company, married a Chad from the company, had a fairy tale wedding, bought a home in our area recently and now they are expecting a baby. You really wonder how some people win the lottery like this and some people struggle just to get a house or a baby.
Make It a Great Day! Just call me Dusty. It's a Clown 🤡 World out there.
Christian Crew
Positivity Crew
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05-14-2021, 08:47 PM #3027
Every outcome is some mix of work and luck. Just observing an outcome, it can be difficult to know how heavily each factor weighed.
A prime example in the bodybuilding world is observing 2 people who have a good physique. It's partially genetic (and that also includes personality traits like discipline), and partially work. You can't really know who pushed harder or struggled more (especially when you include external life influences).
For good outcomes, people tend to believe it was mostly hard work.
For bad outcomes, people tend to believe it was mostly bad luck.
And it's even worse than that.
People completely accept that some things, like facial attractiveness, hair, or height are almost exclusively genetic. But it doesn't stop them from deriving pride from them, as if they're deserving of the positive outcome. Look on this forum; men take great pride in being tall etc.𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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05-14-2021, 09:44 PM #3028
Height is one of those things that you don’t really care about until you start dating.
Or until you’re around girls who talk about other guys.
I consider myself extremely lucky and blessed to be my height.
Meanwhile my dik is average.
But I’d rather have a smaller dik and be 6’2” idgaf
It’s all a balanceLook, i know i don't really know you and all, and i know you probably hear this like everyday, but your just so perfect to me. The few hours we talked were really great even if the convo was stale, your really pretty and chill, and your country thats just perfect :'D i really dont know how to explain it, but i think i have feelings for you somehow. i never felt like this with someone i just met, but i felt the need to get it off my chest. sorry for being all weird just idk how to explain it D:
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05-14-2021, 10:39 PM #3029
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05-15-2021, 01:26 AM #3030
I hung out with the girl again. We saw a movie that was boring as hell. Held hands. Then we went to go eat and we picked up food and sat on a bench and talked for a few hours. She talks 90% about food unless I ask her something else. Gets boring but she's overall decent companionship. I can tell she is physically attracted to me but is off put by some stuff I say. Mostly about me having no hobbies, passions, fun. Like she doesn't care that I don't have friends and never had a gf but more that I don't have anything I do for fun or anything I'm passionate about. I think I also overshared some stuff that she saw as a huge redflag. Basically I said I went to the grocery store when I had covid and didn't give af. And she's like telling me that's putting other's safety at risk. Regardless she still wants to hang out again.
And I want to hang out with her again but... I could never marry this girl. She is too normal and positive. I enjoy spending time with her but only in moderation. It would get boring extremely fast if it was everyday. I just don't connect with normies. I want to just be friends with benefits. But I also want to see how far I can get with a girl relationshipwise because I never had a gf before. I want to see if I can get a girl to fall in love with me. My plan is to take it as far as I can go before she starts doing **** like trying to get me to hang out with her friends or go to **** like her aunts wedding or something of the like. Once she starts making me socialize with other humans, I'm telling her I just wanna be friends. I mean that's my plan so far. IDK if that's bad or good or if she will even respond to me again (she said she wanted to) but we'll see.
And btw we did kiss goodbye and it went good suprisingly.
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