My current situation in life

[leemoses14]

Hi, my name is Moses Lee and i have been working out for the past 2 month now. I was always a skinny boy and was always called out whenever my friends talked about the weakest person or anything related to un atheltic things. they would always look towards me and laugh, and i would not do anything. i would just take to abuse and just act like it was a fun in games and would eventually adapt to the person they saw me as. so i just lived my life normally until self esteem started to hit me. i am going to be the most honest i have ever been on this forum. i have the biggest self esteem issue, i think it is becasue of this i am making a change for myself now. pretty girls entered my life and i was at the time still the skinny ugly boy and i noticed that this wasnt the person i wanted to be anymore. i am still pretty skinny, 15 years old about 5.7 height wise and around 128 for weight. i still i have self esteem issues and i think it has gone to the point where i can call it a disease. i cannot look at the mirror and i always shower in the mornings witht he lights off so that wouldnt be able to look at my ugly self and would get mad if anyone video or took a picture of me. my care for looks have taken over my life and i dont like it. i see people casually taking videos of themselves and taking picture with friends and i get depressed knowing that if i were them i would come out ugly and would just lower my self esteem. so latly i have been working out and it started off well i was lifting heavier slowly and was also gaining a little bit of weight as well. but in a few months i noticed that while i was gaining weight i started to get fatter and started to get flabs. i really didnt like this and it de motivates me to do more, and lately i have not been able to push my self through the work outs no matter how much effort i put into them. If anyone reads this which i highly doubt please if you have time just comment what you think i should change.

[TrainerTone]

What's up Moses. First bit of advice I would give you is to learn to love yourself. Once that happens you will have a supreme confidence about you and people will be drawn to that. Our imperfections and flaws make us who we are as individuals.

As far as working out goes I'd pick a routine to follow such as some of the ones you can find on the bb.com home page. Also get a grasp on nutrition. Figure out your TDEE and macros and get yourself in a slight caloric surplus so you're able to gain weight while minimizing fat gain.

[emergency]

here are the link TT spoke of

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/forumdisplay.php?f=8

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/forumdisplay.php?f=13

[UncelDolan09]

Hey man,
I've been there, and the best advice I can give is: do not care about what other think of you, just stick with your goal, and eventually you'll reach it. Getting bigger does not happen over night.

As the two posters above said, use this website to learn about nutrition and training.
If you said you got "fat", you likely did not eat enough protein to gain lean muscle mass. If you're 15 and still living with your parents, tell whoever is doing the groceries to buy more Greek Yoghurt, Chicken, Canned Tuna and Nuts. Those are probably the easiest sources of protein.
From a training perspective, since you're a beginner, I'd say for about 4 weeks do whole body workouts 2-3 times a week, using exercises like Squats, Step Ups, Bench Press, Pull Ups, Push Ups, Shoulder Press. You can do any of these assisted (look at youtube on how to do these exercises). These will focus on one muscle, but are not too isolated so that most of your body gets worked. You should aim for 3 sets of 8-12 reps each. After around 4 weeks you can do a 2-split if you like. Keep reading and informing yourself.

All in all, right now, everything you worry about is in your head. Stop worrying. Start showering with the lights on and focus on your goal. As Arnold said: "You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win."