[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part III

[imbored21]

Everyone just moves on without me.

[imbored21]

basically spent the whole day crying and i took a shower and like 30 hairs fell out.

i just need 1 ****ing friend that sticks with me. everyone ****ing ghosts me. if it wasnt for my coworkers who are forced to be around me i would have killed myself by now.

[frankfrank3630]

I was 205lbs...I’m 173Lbs and I’m 6’2 Is this a cause for concern

...a counselling service...im considering utilizing ... or am I just being a pussy srs

No, patagucci, you are not a pussy for considering using that counselling. You are very fortunate to have it offered to you, because it's very unusual for an employer to have any such thing.

No person who considers getting mind-therapy when they're hurting is EVER a pussy, and you've felt enough courage to take that leap. I can fully vouch for it, as I doubt I would be alive if I hadn't taken that step years ago, and I think that a lot of people here will be supportive as well.

Your weight loss is only a cause for concern if it's UNEXPLAINED/MYSTERIOUS. If you know that you're not eating very much (which is a reaction of some, to depression - just as other people may react to depression by overeating), you can be expected to lose weight.

...i took a shower and like 30 hairs fell out.

That's nothing unusual at all. I still have a head of hair, and some hairs always fall out when I bathe [shower], and that's been happening for decades! So, no, I don't think you're losing your hair.

Try to keep what "faith" you still have.

Right now, ALL of us are in rather uncharted territory, with what's happening externally.

[eod8989]

How do you snap out of depression when you are stuck in an office doing the same repetitive tasks 40+ hours a week? My brain is rotted.

When I'm at work I I instantly fall into deep depression and it actually causes physical pain. Its just so boring working in an office

I feel like not having a purpose at work or in life is what causes severe depression. I felt more of a purpose pushing carts at wal mart

[tinysprinkle]

I feel like I only deserve pain and I'm very self destructive. I consciously and subconsciously ruin everything with my own two hands so that I can suffer even more. I have accepted it by now that I am never going to get happiness, I don't deserve it and it's not made for people like me

[lugoman]

Feel very sad today...

I've been having suicidal thoughts, not going to lie.
Upsets me that the person I loved disrespected me so badly yet I still miss her.

Just dunno why I have to deserve this bull**** treatment.
All my girlfriends have been pieces of sh*t and idk why I have to always suffer at the hands of other's bull****.

I've learnt about red pill, already gone through the red pill rage, whenever i find myself drifting missing her I seem to get more upset because the red pill would say her actions are congruent with monkey branching etc.

In short.

Hit me twice.
Used to go clubbing with her friend and not contemplate if I wanted to go.
Her dad called me fat behind my back.
She would try isolate me. Even clubbing she would text me all night till like 4am.
Told my sister what we did in bed together (wont go into too much but for a brief idea told my sister we did anal)
I spent 8 weeks with her over last summer, when I went home to see my family after all that time she accused me of never wanting to see her.
Always asking who I was with and messaging my sister when I went on nights out acting controlling.
Tried to isolate me all the time, always had to br around me 24/7.
Loads of baggage, put all her issues onto me and expected me to fix them.
Playing the victim all the time.
No emotional intelligence, once burst out crying in the middle of the gym because she fell over on a smith squat. Blamed me for not spotting her, didnt understand why I was laughing
Accusing me of cheating when I distanced myself for 3 weeks from her.
So much more sh*t but I genuinely cba writing it out.

In essence, all of it has just piled up, ontop of my OCD diagnosis it just makes things worse. OCD makes me overthink absolutely everything, the compulsions I get to check social media etc have made me so unwell.

Ontop of that, the guilt she made me feel for talking to other women, or liking another girls photo on instagram etc, once again with my OCD was almost crippling. I went from 200-288lbs within a year and felt like death.

I'm back at 245 now, still along way to go. But I'm telling ya, it's been 5 months NC and I dont know when this pain is going to end
OCD makes me naturally depressed anyways, but this has just added the final blow for me.


I'm very sad, i try to stay positive, but I'm lonely. I pushed all my friends away, I sit in my room, alone, I tell my parents I'm fine, when I'm not because they just dont understand and tell me to get over the bitch, not really listening to everything.

Also, shes been tweeting stuff like 'love being hard to love lol' and basically acussing me of 'toxic masculinity' all because I stopped making time for her.

Also messaged my sister saying 'I tried every other route and nothing changed so breaking up was my final option' dunno what the **** that means because if she wanted it to work she wouldnt have acted like such a c*nt

Just need someone to talk to honestly.

Hope everyone doesnt have to suffer like this, I wouldnt wish it upon my worst enemy

Hey man, have obsessive thinking and OCD as well and when my gf cheated on me /left me it was probably the hardest and worst thing i have ever went through because my brain went into overdrive. Legit overdrive i COULD NOT stop thinking about her, what happened what i did, what i did wrong, what i should of done, this went on for mnths and months and i beat myself up EVEYR SINGLE DAY - i'm a ****ing loser, i couldn't satisfy her, i wasn't good enough for her , why didn't i do this , why didn't i do this.

Words cannot describe the horrible feelings ifelt, the guilt the shame, the anger, the regret. I pretty much was having suicidal fantasies (combiend with harldy eating/sleeping + stressful job) = hormones out of whack. It was by far the worst thing i've ever experienced.


It's been 9 months now and it's not until now i finally feel a bit better and the only solution i have found is

a) Cardio - i mean go for runs in nature, run and run and run and run. Not treadmill or a walk a hard challening run in a park trail


b) EVERY time i think of her i tell myself stop - i'm here now. I'm here now. I repeat this over and over.

hope this helps man.

[lugoman]

How do you snap out of depression when you are stuck in an office doing the same repetitive tasks 40+ hours a week? My brain is rotted.

When I'm at work I I instantly fall into deep depression and it actually causes physical pain. Its just so boring working in an office

I feel like not having a purpose at work or in life is what causes severe depression. I felt more of a purpose pushing carts at wal mart

Man i feel lke this as well.

The worst part is - i don't get how others around me are so content with what they do? it's like being on a different planet.

Everyday i regret my career choice. I just sit in an office all day doing boring tedious repetitive tasks under time constraints (time sheets).

i hate it. I wish i was a doctor or physiotherapist or did something with more meaning/physical. This work is soul destroying.

[eod8989]

Man i feel lke this as well.

The worst part is - i don't get how others around me are so content with what they do? it's like being on a different planet.

Everyday i regret my career choice. I just sit in an office all day doing boring tedious repetitive tasks under time constraints (time sheets).

i hate it. I wish i was a doctor or physiotherapist or did something with more meaning/physical. This work is soul destroying.

Idk man theres no way to release endorphins or anything. I don't even have windows in my office. It's the same feeling as being in jail. My coworkers just drink soda and caffeine and snack all day. A lot of people smoke. That's how they get by I guess.

[TheIronAsylum]

im really starting to think its all over now

[manletstrength]

Lmao my psychiatrist kicked me out of her practice because I called her and the other employees cawksucking fuks. I was 6 minutes late to my appointment and she wouldnt see me. So, I just snapped since I'm dealing with a lot of personal issues and I've been manic for a couple months now. That kunt is just a money scheming bich anyway.

[imbored21]

i feel like any 5+ women is just looking for the perfect man (and they basically can get one with minimal effort.) Makes me feel really hopeless. I know I'm not that bad and I'm at least equal to the girls I want to date.

[frankfrank3630]

i don't get how others around me are so content with what they do?

This work is soul destroying.

My best answer is that many people will approach their job with a "stoic and clinical" approach. "The work is boring and no fun, but I have to do it, so I might as well deal" so that I'll have money for rent and for things I want to eat and things I want to do. I work out of my own home office now, with my own job, and I have to take that approach for the parts of the job I dislike.

There is no guarantee this will work for everybody.

My coworkers...A lot of people smoke.

Smoking in the WORKPLACE...in Missouri??? Interesting, I thought just about everywhere had banned smoking at the workplace years, if not decades, ago.

[eod8989]

My best answer is that many people will approach their job with a "stoic and clinical" approach. "The work is boring and no fun, but I have to do it, so I might as well deal" so that I'll have money for rent and for things I want to eat and things I want to do. I work out of my own home office now, with my own job, and I have to take that approach for the parts of the job I dislike.

There is no guarantee this will work for everybody.

Smoking in the WORKPLACE...in Missouri??? Interesting, I thought just about everywhere had banned smoking at the workplace years, if not decades, ago.

They smoke outside but it's like a ton of ppl smoke. Everyone my age down in my area does.

[eod8989]

My hairline is done bros

Just gonna shave it off

Not that I care about it anymore but depression just ruins you

[BigTimePlayer]

Haven’t posted on here in awhile since I don’t come on here much anymore but nothing has really changed much for me. Still going through the fluctuation of moods everyday. I’m still at the same job yet but won’t be working for another few weeks due to what’s going on in the world right now. They said they’ll pay me at least for a few weeks though. I was going to take some chances to try to make more money though soon. I just really stopped feeling sorry for myself & don’t really think about dating or any of that other **** I used to complain about constantly on here. I cringe at some of the stuff I’ve posted on here over the years & wonder why I wasted so much time doing that ****. I definitely was way worse mentally at the time though. At this point I rather just focus on myself with things & try to take it one day at a time & see what happens. Hope everyone here is doing okay.

[eod8989]

I wish i knew how to change. But my dopamine receptors are fried and i have become too selfish. I just feel a major lack of purpose now days and i've lost interest in everything.

[eod8989]

Anyone here feel like the human body wasnt meant to live past 30? My mind and body are breaking down.

[eod8989]

I cant even concentrate properly anymore. Its like I am just along for the ride, I am not the person I was at 20.

Yeah I cant concentrate at all I just fap to 4k porn and blare metal music all day. No attention span whatsoever

[5tfihsmgidarap]

Getting depressed because of school and life no longer because of woman but because i hate the field ive chosen and i wish i joined the military and didnt lie to myself and pretend to be someone im not 4 years ago. Now im 24 with 2.5 years left in a CS degree and its just getting harder and harder and im getting less and less motivated and i ****ing hate it. Hate my professors hate the degree path hate where im at in life.

[eod8989]

My depression is bad. I basically cant do anything anymore. I'm going to lose my job. Idk how people cope without intimacy or friends. Babies literally die if they dont get attention.

[eod8989]

Do you ever fell like you are cursed? Like you are just meant to be miserable and alone no matter what you try.

Yeah nothing ever happens. Same thing every day. Yet I see things just fall Into place for others. I've never been happy. Just existing.

[eod8989]

When you have high iq you're just going to get mental health issues eventually. Like depression or bipolar. Its inevitable. It's due to how you perceive the world and extremely high levels of awareness

Ignorance is bliss

[brahskimoseph]

Fuk man. Idk if anyone understands gambling addiction, but I just cant stop. Ill stop for 2/3 months and then just dump all my money into super high risk plays and blow it all. I honesty cant see anyone of stopping this other than blowing out my brains(not suicidal, just a realization).

A big part of it is because I was formerly pretty well off due to hard work and saving, was probably in the top 10% of 24 year olds for networth, but got caught up chasing the joneses. Blew about 100,000$ in the last 8 months or so, flat broke AGAIN.

And im sure in another month or two when J have a couple grand ill start again, and repeat the process for infinity.

The really fuked part about it all is I actually advise people financially, and they are all making bank. I just dont follow my advice. Like a streetwise crackhead. Smh


Edit: For a gambler, the worst thing in the world is hope.

[eod8989]

Its fukin sad dude. All I see is people being social like its nothing and getting hot girls while I can only dream about that. Things always go wrong for me in some way.

Yeah, I am definitely an intellectual maybe thats part of the problem. I just see things the way they really are and am also an idealist. I cant be a hypocrite like others.

Most people can meet people and socialize because they are on some kind of ****. They talk about it in the book brave new world. I'm assuming you dont drink or smoke or arent on any meds etc? Its hard to meet people if you are sober bro

[BOZZ]

Fuk man. Idk if anyone understands gambling addiction, but I just cant stop. Ill stop for 2/3 months and then just dump all my money into super high risk plays and blow it all. I honesty cant see anyone of stopping this other than blowing out my brains(not suicidal, just a realization).

A big part of it is because I was formerly pretty well off due to hard work and saving, was probably in the top 10% of 24 year olds for networth, but got caught up chasing the joneses. Blew about 100,000$ in the last 8 months or so, flat broke AGAIN.

And im sure in another month or two when J have a couple grand ill start again, and repeat the process for infinity.

The really fuked part about it all is I actually advise people financially, and they are all making bank. I just dont follow my advice. Like a streetwise crackhead. Smh


Edit: For a gambler, the worst thing in the world is hope.

Casino gambling or online?

[brahskimoseph]

Casino gambling or online?

Options/stock trading. Been addicted ever since I won 13k in an hour, aint ever been right since. Im a weird guy man, I dont drink, but when I do I drink super hard. I dont work much, but when I do, I go 150% pedal to the metal, same with lifting, same with women. I have two speeds: a slow shuffle or an all out sprint.

Myself from a year ago would be cringing so fukin hard. Ive put on 40 lbs, stopped any real training/going out/dating ect, become dumber from just being caught up in the suspense of weekly option trades, and just generally losing my mind.

[eod8989]

Yeah, I never drink or smoke, never tried any drugs. I just cant connect with people because they dont have my interests. The last time I was social was in primary school(late 90s-2001) but it was a completely different time back then.

Same dude. No connection at all with other people.

[brahskimoseph]

Figuring out that im just an adrenaline junkie.

Explains why i always procrastinate, like fighting/olympic lifting/sprinting, running from police, raw dogging sloots, amongst other high risk activities. Gambling is just another method of jackkng up my adrenaline, except it goes on for weeks at a time. Not healthy at all.

[brahskimoseph]

Now im at the “Im really glad I dont have any bullets” phase where I know I lost(still locked in a trade), but theres still a glimmer of hope, which keeps me going. Soon, Ill have a networth of 0 again, be tempted to take out a loan at an absurd rate, decide against it, save up for 3 or 4 months, and do it all again chasing what Ive lost. Its been nearly a year of this. I dont know what the fuk to do, Ive been to GA, Ive done acid to try and reset myself, cardio, reading, boxing, working more, nothing fukin works. What THE ****. I want to ****ing explode. I know the probabilities, I know what Im doing is idiotic, I know I cant afford to do it, I know its killing me, I know my family and friends are incredibly dissapointed and some have broken off ties with me, I know Im nowhere even close to where I should be in life. ****. I just ran hill sprints and boxed and lifted and IM still running at full speed and Im still thinking and calculating probabilities at 1000%, and I only slept 3 hours last night and 5 the night before.

Ive never been an addict prior to gambling. Honestly, I think Im going to to take out a loan, sell my car, max out all my credit cards and put it all on some high risk play, and if it doesnt work, Ill just kill myself. Get this chit over with already.

Edit: 100 thousand dollars. I have squandered away over 100 thousand fukin dollars in less than a year. What the fuk

[DizzySmalls]

^ what is the compulsion behind it? The feeling of anticipation and wanting to keep getting that high or is it genuinely the desire for the money at stake? What would you do if you were up 150k instead?