[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part III

[bongowongo]

aways good to experiment my man, will help you figure out eventually what works best for you. You got this broski. i respect that you're always lookin to improve and try new things

lol i wish, i'm not taking the actual steps to improve and try new things.

[salamisalem]

lol i wish, i'm not taking the actual steps to improve and try new things.

well you are looking to try and improve how you feel and your mind, even if not your job or whatever. that's something. and look you're aware of what you need to pay attention to. that's the first step. so go for it. What else do you need to improve btw? job?

[eod8989]

All i want to do is just rot on the internet because i'm not good enough socially to fit in with people, and don't like many people. I wish there was a drug to change all of this because everything seems pointless to me.

[salamisalem]

All i want to do is just rot on the internet because i'm not good enough socially to fit in with people, and don't like many people. I wish there was a drug to change all of this because everything seems pointless to me.

goddam dude you're never going to change because you never try to change. always the same chit. and you reject all our advice. at least change SOMETHING. new haircut. talk to uber drivers. smoke the herb. but you're not gonna listen

[eod8989]

goddam dude you're never going to change because you never try to change. always the same chit. and you reject all our advice. at least change SOMETHING. new haircut. talk to uber drivers. smoke the herb. but you're not gonna listen

I already smoked the herb a couple months ago. The thing is i don't find anything fun and don't enjoy being around people. Every now and then i meet someone i relate to but otherwise i just like to be alone.

[Meralus]

All i want to do is just rot on the internet because i'm not good enough socially to fit in with people, and don't like many people. I wish there was a drug to change all of this because everything seems pointless to me.

goddam dude you're never going to change because you never try to change. always the same chit. and you reject all our advice. at least change SOMETHING. new haircut. talk to uber drivers. smoke the herb. but you're not gonna listen

Not to be rude, but I agree with Salam here. No matter how much you post in here it's always negative and pessimistic. No matter how much people offer you advice, you never listen anyway. The only way you can be helped, is if you are willing to help yourself. Otherwise, you will never break the cycle. There is no magical switch to turn your fortunes around, you have to work for it.

[2RDEYE]

i think eod is sort of in the same world im in. like our work environment and outside of it is truly cancer/toxic. for me the only time i actually changed my mindset about the world, my entire life, is my trip to japan, but other than that this world i live in, and most people in this country are truly terrible, toxic, and full of chit.

like for me, damn i could go to school, get a degree, a good job-- or i could win the lottery, but that wouldn't change the world or people in the society i live in. so in a way my world will always be mostly negative. but then again if i won like at least 2 million dollars, i'd say **** YOU to this trash continent and relax in asia or something, maybe build a beach house in the phillipines.

i actually applied to college and got accepted, gonna try to start with 2 part-time courses next month. that's a start.

work related news.... its ****ing terrible at my workplace, i already emailed two formal complaints about my boss to HR, because i feel bullied by my boss. might walk out today. but that would mean i'd have to find another job, it's so hard starting at a new workplace all the time.

[Arkadij947]

I was supposed to hit a new bench 1RM today, failed every single attempt. 4 weeks wasted busting my ass while I should have just spent my time talking about the football results like everyone else at gym.

A temp agency was supposed to call me within today to tell me whether I got the job or not. They didn't. Failure at work, failure at the gym, failure at life. I'm not sure if I want to see next year.

[eod8989]

i think eod is sort of in the same world im in. like our work environment and outside of it is truly cancer/toxic. for me the only time i actually changed my mindset about the world, my entire life, is my trip to japan, but other than that this world i live in, and most people in this country are truly terrible, toxic, and full of chit.

like for me, damn i could go to school, get a degree, a good job-- or i could win the lottery, but that wouldn't change the world or people in the society i live in. so in a way my world will always be mostly negative. but then again if i won like at least 2 million dollars, i'd say **** YOU to this trash continent and relax in asia or something, maybe build a beach house in the phillipines.

i actually applied to college and got accepted, gonna try to start with 2 part-time courses next month. that's a start.

work related news.... its ****ing terrible at my workplace, i already emailed two formal complaints about my boss to HR, because i feel bullied by my boss. might walk out today. but that would mean i'd have to find another job, it's so hard starting at a new workplace all the time.

Yep my work is toxic and i don't like people much in general. Something happened around 2012-2014 with people that created some serious narcissism, anger and pettiness with people. The people at my job are the reason i am today. I can't seem to escape it. But like i said it's not like i like most people anyways. I don't hate them but i just see no point in talking to most of them. It's not like going to a bar or trying to talk to other people at my boring job is going to make me happy. I just wish people were more down to earth and cooperative in the workplace, and i just want to talk to someone that i relate to in life. That is all i want. I've already done the dating phase, trying to talk to everyone, drinking and going to clubs, i've tried it all. I'm empty inside because i don't have a connection and i don't like my job environment.

[JMath]

Sorry for the long ass replies...

i think eod is sort of in the same world im in. like our work environment and outside of it is truly cancer/toxic. for me the only time i actually changed my mindset about the world, my entire life, is my trip to japan, but other than that this world i live in, and most people in this country are truly terrible, toxic, and full of chit.

like for me, damn i could go to school, get a degree, a good job-- or i could win the lottery, but that wouldn't change the world or people in the society i live in. so in a way my world will always be mostly negative. but then again if i won like at least 2 million dollars, i'd say **** YOU to this trash continent and relax in asia or something, maybe build a beach house in the phillipines.

i actually applied to college and got accepted, gonna try to start with 2 part-time courses next month. that's a start.

work related news.... its ****ing terrible at my workplace, i already emailed two formal complaints about my boss to HR, because i feel bullied by my boss. might walk out today. but that would mean i'd have to find another job, it's so hard starting at a new workplace all the time.

I get where you're coming from, but you live in the same society that all of us do. Yeah, your specific work place isn't the same as us, but it's not like you live in a place that is Ass-holeville Alberta, and everyone else lives in Sunshine USA. If you were able to move to Asia, you would eventually find and feel the same thing. They have their struggles, their unhappiness, and their share of ass-holes too. When you're traveling though, you don't get the real exposure to it as much. What we have to do (I say we because I struggle with it at times too) is disassociate our happiness with other people. Other people are not going to make you happy. Find things that make you happy. Traveling sounds like its one of those things. Try to find other, smaller things too; for me that's hockey. I'm not good, but if I just have a stick, gloves, a puck, skates, and a net, I seriously don't have a care in the world. I can be on a pond, in a rink, with other people, by myself...doesn't matter. It's a little thing, but it helps tremendously.

I can tell you from firsthand experience too, the money and career thing doesn't magically cure it all. It does make certain things more comfortable and you can afford more leisure stuff. That helps at times, and can sort of help you identify some of the things that can add happiness to your life, but I have a pretty decent career and make decent money in my opinion, and I can tell you that it by itself doesn't make me any happier. Truthfully, I probably take it for granted, because I know I would be miserable without it... Which is part of the problem too. We have things in our lives that we just take for granted and don't acknowledge as being good positive things, but without them we would be way worse off. Try to identify some of those things too.

Yep my work is toxic and i don't like people much in general. Something happened around 2012-2014 with people that created some serious narcissism, anger and pettiness with people. The people at my job are the reason i am today. I can't seem to escape it. But like i said it's not like i like most people anyways. I don't hate them but i just see no point in talking to most of them. It's not like going to a bar or trying to talk to other people at my boring job is going to make me happy. I just wish people were more down to earth and cooperative in the workplace, and i just want to talk to someone that i relate to in life. That is all i want. I've already done the dating phase, trying to talk to everyone, drinking and going to clubs, i've tried it all. I'm empty inside because i don't have a connection and i don't like my job environment.

I get the toxic work place. Mine is too. Has been ever since I started. Ultimately though you're in charge of how you respond to it. I have had some of the worst people ever as co-workers. I talk to my friends/family about them, I bitch, I vent, I truly don't/didn't like them. But I refuse to add to the toxicity of the workplace. It's bad enough as it is. It doesn't need me adding fuel to the fire. So I may get behind in my work, lose motivation, etc., but I still will be professional and courteous to a fault. As soon as you step a foot into their toxic world, it's quicksand...you're going to get sucked in and the new guy who comes in next week, or month or year, isn't going to be able to differentiate between you and the other toxic coworkers. So while you're cursing the toxic coworkers, you've actually become one. When you're complaining about the toxic work environment, you're contributing to it.

This is an incredibly hard task. I know... I have dealt with some doozy of coworkers. Still have one. Truthfully, I wish I could explain how I am able to successfully manage doing this, but I don't know how I do it. My mood will be chit and I will want to contribute to the toxicity, but somehow I refrain. Even if it doesn't make the workplace better, it at least isn't getting worse on account of my reactions. Who knows, if you're able to keep your cool, maybe as new employees come on they'll gravitate towards you and the good vibes can gain some traction. Again, I know that's tough.

Negative people bring us down even further. Which makes me wonder if this thread even helps people or hurts them. Are we helping each other heal, or are we being the misery that company loves? I hope at least some of us are helping one another, and not in the "man I thought I had problems" kind of way.

[eod8989]

Sorry for the long ass replies...



I get where you're coming from, but you live in the same society that all of us do. Yeah, your specific work place isn't the same as us, but it's not like you live in a place that is Ass-holeville Alberta, and everyone else lives in Sunshine USA. If you were able to move to Asia, you would eventually find and feel the same thing. They have their struggles, their unhappiness, and their share of ass-holes too. When you're traveling though, you don't get the real exposure to it as much. What we have to do (I say we because I struggle with it at times too) is disassociate our happiness with other people. Other people are not going to make you happy. Find things that make you happy. Traveling sounds like its one of those things. Try to find other, smaller things too; for me that's hockey. I'm not good, but if I just have a stick, gloves, a puck, skates, and a net, I seriously don't have a care in the world. I can be on a pond, in a rink, with other people, by myself...doesn't matter. It's a little thing, but it helps tremendously.

I can tell you from firsthand experience too, the money and career thing doesn't magically cure it all. It does make certain things more comfortable and you can afford more leisure stuff. That helps at times, and can sort of help you identify some of the things that can add happiness to your life, but I have a pretty decent career and make decent money in my opinion, and I can tell you that it by itself doesn't make me any happier. Truthfully, I probably take it for granted, because I know I would be miserable without it... Which is part of the problem too. We have things in our lives that we just take for granted and don't acknowledge as being good positive things, but without them we would be way worse off. Try to identify some of those things too.



I get the toxic work place. Mine is too. Has been ever since I started. Ultimately though you're in charge of how you respond to it. I have had some of the worst people ever as co-workers. I talk to my friends/family about them, I bitch, I vent, I truly don't/didn't like them. But I refuse to add to the toxicity of the workplace. It's bad enough as it is. It doesn't need me adding fuel to the fire. So I may get behind in my work, lose motivation, etc., but I still will be professional and courteous to a fault. As soon as you step a foot into their toxic world, it's quicksand...you're going to get sucked in and the new guy who comes in next week, or month or year, isn't going to be able to differentiate between you and the other toxic coworkers. So while you're cursing the toxic coworkers, you've actually become one. When you're complaining about the toxic work environment, you're contributing to it.

This is an incredibly hard task. I know... I have dealt with some doozy of coworkers. Still have one. Truthfully, I wish I could explain how I am able to successfully manage doing this, but I don't know how I do it. My mood will be chit and I will want to contribute to the toxicity, but somehow I refrain. Even if it doesn't make the workplace better, it at least isn't getting worse on account of my reactions. Who knows, if you're able to keep your cool, maybe as new employees come on they'll gravitate towards you and the good vibes can gain some traction. Again, I know that's tough.

Negative people bring us down even further. Which makes me wonder if this thread even helps people or hurts them. Are we helping each other heal, or are we being the misery that company loves? I hope at least some of us are helping one another, and not in the "man I thought I had problems" kind of way.

Nobody has ever talked to me at work. Haven't had any new coworkers in 2 years. This is the thing, it's the same constant boring/negative environment that never changes. It's not like working at wal mart and a bunch of new people are always being hired and want to have fun at work. It's miserable losers and old people who bring others down. The ones that remain somewhat positive still gossip and start chit, complain all the time about dumb chit. You can't escape it. it's my way or the highway type people.

And i don't know what is going on these days, but so many people have egos. Like you talk to them and they act like they know it all. It's just so hard to find people who are genuine these days. It might very well be because i work in the corporate world but i've heard that it's kind of the same everywhere now.

Something happened around 2012.

[CrazySerbian]

literally same with me my boy. but what helped me is i thought about it, and was like I've payed too much money and spent too much time and effort to fail now. I will put whatever time in necessary and do whatever it takes to get the grades needed and get my degree. You got this my man, i'd use a similar mindset. This is just an obstacle and I know you'll overcome it

My goal is to graduate next semester and I'm gonna do everything in my power to do it. I don't know if I will pass my exams but I know that I will give 100%. I had a very productive day of studying today and I'm gonna do the same tomorrow.

[Rebuilt3]

Stay positive buds. We all have our tough days however there will be good days. Be careful with smoking herb as well , not that I think there’s anything wrong with it but I got a bit screwed up on brownies one time. Ate them at a all time low and got derealization for a few months. Wasn’t a good time.

Go out and buy a self help book or Start looking to into Cbt therapy for self help. I’ve been dealing With depression and anxiety for a while but I’m starting to be able to control it more. Keep positive minded as much as things suck

[bongowongo]

well you are looking to try and improve how you feel and your mind, even if not your job or whatever. that's something. and look you're aware of what you need to pay attention to. that's the first step. so go for it. What else do you need to improve btw? job?

Yeah I think so, having something to keep me busy is probably whats for my mind right now because I spend too much time in my head and that's not a good place to be. Been searching for a job agai for the past couple days and already sent out resumes to two places which interested me.

Honestly though, I just wish I could close my eyes and just disappear. My biggest issues are fear and probably the worst self-esteem issues, which are taking an unbearable toll on me and probably the worst cocktail mix you can get. I wish I knew I was good at something or knew what I wanted to do .. At least that way I can jump straight in and do that .

[2RDEYE]

lost my temper at work to my manager again. he ****in mocked and laughed at me. gonna send another complaint to HR, i think i might just not come in on monday and quit.

I get where you're coming from, but you live in the same society that all of us do. Yeah, your specific work place isn't the same as us, but it's not like you live in a place that is Ass-holeville Alberta, and everyone else lives in Sunshine USA. If you were able to move to Asia, you would eventually find and feel the same thing. They have their struggles, their unhappiness, and their share of ass-holes too. When you're traveling though, you don't get the real exposure to it as much. What we have to do (I say we because I struggle with it at times too) is disassociate our happiness with other people. Other people are not going to make you happy. Find things that make you happy. Traveling sounds like its one of those things. Try to find other, smaller things too; for me that's hockey. I'm not good, but if I just have a stick, gloves, a puck, skates, and a net, I seriously don't have a care in the world. I can be on a pond, in a rink, with other people, by myself...doesn't matter. It's a little thing, but it helps tremendously.

you misunderstood me. that's what i meant we live in the same society, but everyone has their own world. some people are rich or poor, have friends, don't have friends, have more good or more bad experiences, factory workers and CEO's live in different worlds, etc. but essentially we live in the same society, and to me this society is ****ing trash, it has been my entire life, this continent and most of the world is assh*le ville. western society is the same canadian/american same chit. i used to spend a month in america every year when i was in highschool. there's no difference.

[NMS3]

I can be feeling very good, have good self esteem and confidence, optimistic, or neutral. But 5 minutes later I can also just be slumped into the gutter, have the lowest self esteem, and feel like pure trash. I hate it. Daily battle.

[eod8989]

I can be feeling very good, have good self esteem and confidence, optimistic, or neutral. But 5 minutes later I can also just be slumped into the gutter, have the lowest self esteem, and feel like pure trash. I hate it. Daily battle.

Same here, i can never stay in a decent mood. I think i have bipolar depression because my highs and lows are so extreme. But the lows are like an extreme depression/low self esteem feeling. Not so much anger. I just have to let it pass, but i'm hardly in a positive state anymore.

[eod8989]

I just can't imagine being like 60 and still not finding a real connection with someone. Such a waste.

[Rebuilt3]

It’s a rollercoaster for sure. I had a awesome career and then my company went under.. now a days I’m back as a student to try to kick the unemployment trend. But hell is it ever taxing on the mind to go from making decent money and having some self worth to be back not knowing what the future holds and being in school again. I’m definitely struggling to feel normal again... playing games and hitting the gym has been taking the edge off at least

[heaa21]

All i want to do is just rot on the internet because i'm not good enough socially to fit in with people, and don't like many people. I wish there was a drug to change all of this because everything seems pointless to me.

It sucks man but you need to realize that this is all in your head. If you were some short fat manlet with terrible acne I'd be writing a different message here, but you're obviously aesthetic af so now you just need to change your mindset. My suspicion is that you don't know how to talk to people. Through my job, I had to do a lot of marketing/sales training which has changed my perspective a lot. The only thing you need to do to get people to like you is ask them questions about themselves. Any time you're meeting new people, they should be doing 70% of the talking, because you should show a genuine interest in what they are saying. Your goal is to get to know people, because that's what promotes trust. And the more people trust you, the more they will want to be around you.

After my breakup last month, I'm back to square one. My social circle consisted of like 3 people for the past year but in the past month I've been hitting people up that i lost touch with. Asking people at work to go to happy hour etc. Had I sat around and told myself I'm not good enough, I'd be sitting here with 2 friends probably hating the world. Fact of the matter is, people aren't going to suck you into their friend groups. You need to put forth 90% of the effort until they consider you their friend.

I hope I don't sound too preachy, because I get it man. I feel like garbage 20-30% of the days, but the only way to get past the way you're feeling is to break your current pattern. If that fails, then you keep changing the pattern until something clicks.

[TheWeeknd4Ever]

I just can't imagine being like 60 and still not finding a real connection with someone. Such a waste.

Dude, you will never find a connection with anyone if you keep this crap up. Out of everyone in this thread, you put in the least effort to try and change your life. You just post the same sht in here every day. How do you expect anything to change? It's ridiculous dude. Like talking to a brick wall. No one else can help you. Our words mean nothing to you if you aren't willing to put in the work to change your circumstances or to try and see the world and people differently.

[2RDEYE]

i filed a bullying and harassment complaint to HR against my boss and now we're going to have a meeting today about it because i threatened to get legal help lol fuk. i'll see what happens. i honestly don't care about keeping this job im just starting chit because im being disrespected. if they fire me im actually going to be satisfied. forces me to do something else, might be jobless for like 3-4 weeks though. kind of getting anxiety thinking about this meeting though lol but the ****er started it first.

man such is the life of someone who didn't go to school. starting chit in a dead end job. i got accepted at my local college but still waiting to see if i can actually get in any courses. but i think im still going to do school and work.

[Rebuilt3]

i filed a bullying and harassment complaint to HR against my boss and now we're going to have a meeting today about it because i threatened to get legal help lol fuk. i'll see what happens. i honestly don't care about keeping this job im just starting chit because im being disrespected. if they fire me im actually going to be satisfied. forces me to do something else, might be jobless for like 3-4 weeks though. kind of getting anxiety thinking about this meeting though lol but the ****er started it first.

man such is the life of someone who didn't go to school. starting chit in a dead end job. i got accepted at my local college but still waiting to see if i can actually get in any courses. but i think im still going to do school and work.

Congrats on making the decision to further your education ! I know it’s a hard decision for sure as it’s a bigger one. I’m a big believer that more education opens more doors. Got two diplomas so far and now working on a engineer ticket.. let us know how you make out

[JMath]

i filed a bullying and harassment complaint to HR against my boss and now we're going to have a meeting today about it because i threatened to get legal help lol fuk. i'll see what happens. i honestly don't care about keeping this job im just starting chit because im being disrespected. if they fire me im actually going to be satisfied. forces me to do something else, might be jobless for like 3-4 weeks though. kind of getting anxiety thinking about this meeting though lol but the ****er started it first.

man such is the life of someone who didn't go to school. starting chit in a dead end job. i got accepted at my local college but still waiting to see if i can actually get in any courses. but i think im still going to do school and work.

They won't fire you. If they do they're stupid. You came to HR with a complaint about being bullied and were fired in the process? Somehow I don't see that looking very well for the company. I would just expect your boss to be a bigger ass hole than he was before. So hopefully other people in your workplace have had similar experiences, or have a similar opinion of the guy, and are willing to go to bat. If enough people are making the same/similar complaints, the company has to take them more and more serious.

I don't know what you do for work, but if there's a way for you to be moved to another spot, maybe you get another boss and they'll be a little better fit. Either way, I hope it works out.

Just be sure that you have specific examples of his wrong-doing to bring up. Also tell them that you expect to be able to come to work and do your job in a hostile free environment. I would also say that given the guys track record, you're worried about reprisal or retaliation.

[2RDEYE]

They won't fire you. If they do they're stupid. You came to HR with a complaint about being bullied and were fired in the process? Somehow I don't see that looking very well for the company. I would just expect your boss to be a bigger ass hole than he was before. So hopefully other people in your workplace have had similar experiences, or have a similar opinion of the guy, and are willing to go to bat. If enough people are making the same/similar complaints, the company has to take them more and more serious.

I don't know what you do for work, but if there's a way for you to be moved to another spot, maybe you get another boss and they'll be a little better fit. Either way, I hope it works out.

Just be sure that you have specific examples of his wrong-doing to bring up. Also tell them that you expect to be able to come to work and do your job in a hostile free environment. I would also say that given the guys track record, you're worried about reprisal or retaliation.

I only have two direct examples of when he was bullying and making fun of me. I don't know what else to say after that. I have lots of witnesses but I kind of don't want to endanger their job either.

Pretty nervous of going to work though fukkk. I'm getting that feeling like I shouldn't go in today and just say I quit.

[KEEdward]

Nobody has ever talked to me at work. Haven't had any new coworkers in 2 years. This is the thing, it's the same constant boring/negative environment that never changes. It's not like working at wal mart and a bunch of new people are always being hired and want to have fun at work. It's miserable losers and old people who bring others down. The ones that remain somewhat positive still gossip and start chit, complain all the time about dumb chit. You can't escape it. it's my way or the highway type people.

And i don't know what is going on these days, but so many people have egos. Like you talk to them and they act like they know it all. It's just so hard to find people who are genuine these days. It might very well be because i work in the corporate world but i've heard that it's kind of the same everywhere now.

Something happened around 2012.

What are your goals? Why are they important to you?

Is working this job satisfying a goal you are interested in or is it satisfying an extrinsic goal? Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is disengage from the pursuit of goals that are not making you happy.

Persistence and tenacity are good traits to have in pursuit of worthy goals. Then again, persisting to achieve a goal that will not make you happy is worthless.

[2RDEYE]

i got ****ed over hard at work lmao ****ing ridiculous. HR wasn't even there. it was me, the manager, and the two supervisors. no ****ing chit im gonna lose in this argument. the supervisors will always agree with the manager because they dont want to lose their jobs.

[eod8989]

What are your goals? Why are they important to you?

Is working this job satisfying a goal you are interested in or is it satisfying an extrinsic goal? Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is disengage from the pursuit of goals that are not making you happy.

Persistence and tenacity are good traits to have in pursuit of worthy goals. Then again, persisting to achieve a goal that will not make you happy is worthless.

You dont understand man I dont enjoy anything anymore. I'm miserable and push every person away. I can't stay in a positive mood because of my bipolar depression. People think I'm nuts. If I can't even be happy for a whole day then what is the point? I seriously get mad and snap on people randomly because I'm sexually frustrated and sick of working alone. I dont see it ever changing because I dont know anybody and can't stay in a positive mood long enough to do anything

[JMath]

i got ****ed over hard at work lmao ****ing ridiculous. HR wasn't even there. it was me, the manager, and the two supervisors. no ****ing chit im gonna lose in this argument. the supervisors will always agree with the manager because they dont want to lose their jobs.

Is the manager above the supervisors? Either way, if it continues (or hell, even if you're unhappy with this meeting) tell HR again and emphasize that you want a more neutral party involved. No matter what though, I hope you're looking for other work. Regardless of if this has a good outcome or not, if you're miserable where you're at I hope you're trying to find somewhere else to be.

[KingCanzo]

Sup brahs? Appreciate you are mid convo. But wanted to introduce myself as Long time lurker, long time user of the thread. Which I must advise is invaluable for some of the advice offered

Anyway - for any brahs suffering from OCD / Depression, I'm here to lend an ear and share what's worked for me.

Stay strong

*also if any brah can tell me how to attach a word doc via mobile. I'm happy to post my story. It's a piece I worked on for a magazine article but didn't submit*