Reid's Offseason Journey to become a Natural Pro

[The Solution]

I don't know if anyone still follows this, but anyway here's an update:

I don't know what happened, but I just kind of stopped lifting. I moved to a new city for graduate school and things kind of got bad. I started getting really depressed and at my lowest I was having panic attacks. I decided recently to just go for a masters degree instead of a PhD like I had planned on. It feels good to have made that decision but I'm still kind of hating life right now. I don't think I'm done with the gym yet in my life, I know I will get back to it, but right now I'm pretty messed up. I don't even know what I'm doing after graduate school and that's in about 6 months. I'm just not even the same person anymore and I have no idea what happened. I loved the person I was. I hate the person I've become and frankly I just feel lost. Thanks for reading.

always here
what your main focus on right now is your education, your future, and your job
going to the gym wont pay your bills, it wont give you benefits, and it wont make you successful or what you make your living off of. Your school and education are what matters most.

Do what you need to do brother. Gym will always be there.
You ever need to vent or someone to talk to let me know I got your back brother.

[Reid456]

always here
what your main focus on right now is your education, your future, and your job
going to the gym wont pay your bills, it wont give you benefits, and it wont make you successful or what you make your living off of. Your school and education are what matters most.

Do what you need to do brother. Gym will always be there.
You ever need to vent or someone to talk to let me know I got your back brother.

Thanks man, I appreciate it. Yeah, my career has given me a ton of stress because I don't want anything to do with science anymore. Past that, I just stopped believing in myself and that has affected everything in life.

[DJaRiHardstyle]

Damn man I'm really sorry to hear that. The guy I had the pleasure of meeting a while back is an extremely intelligent, interesting, and passionate individual whose love for learning is nothing short of contagious.

And because of your intelligence, I have the feeling your decision to only go for the masters was a smart one, and one most people couldn't make. You're choosing your destiny based on what makes you happy and what you love doing, and there's nothing in life more important than that.... completely accepting yourself for who you are and living life for each individual moment, one at a time, doing the things you know need to be done, without worrying about the things you cannot control.

I really do feel for you man. I know there's not too much I can say to drastically change your mindset, but I hope you can at least gather that anyone who is lucky enough to cross paths with you will immediately pick up on how bright and positive of an individual you are.

You will be in my prayers, my man. This is a rough patch, but you are not defined by these moments alone. Keep your head up and keep us posted on how things are going.

[jpfaherty]

Damn man I'm really sorry to hear that. The guy I had the pleasure of meeting a while back is an extremely intelligent, interesting, and passionate individual whose love for learning is nothing short of contagious.

And because of your intelligence, I have the feeling your decision to only go for the masters was a smart one, and one most people couldn't make. You're choosing your destiny based on what makes you happy and what you love doing, and there's nothing in life more important than that.... completely accepting yourself for who you are and living life for each individual moment, one at a time, doing the things you know need to be done, without worrying about the things you cannot control.

I really do feel for you man. I know there's not too much I can say to drastically change your mindset, but I hope you can at least gather that anyone who is lucky enough to cross paths with you will immediately pick up on how bright and positive of an individual you are.

You will be in my prayers, my man. This is a rough patch, but you are not defined by these moments alone. Keep your head up and keep us posted on how things are going.

Great post man.

Reid,

Have you seen a therapist at all? (feel free to PM if you'd rather)

Also, you're catholic correct? Have you kept up with your faith?

[Reid456]

Great post man.

Reid,

Have you seen a therapist at all? (feel free to PM if you'd rather)

Also, you're catholic correct? Have you kept up with your faith?

Yeah I've been seeing a counselor. It got pretty bad for a while, but its better now. I can't seem to escape the cycle of: work (that I don't believe in), become fatigued, work less, feel guilty, escape from it, fall asleep, repeat. I feel a completely different person than I used to be, and I really liked who I used to be.

[The Solution]

Professional help is the best thing for any situation. I know i went through a bunch myself when i went through a rough patch by seeing a great pscyhologist. Can never hurt.

[Reid456]

Today:

30 minutes running

Taking baby steps to take back control.

[Reid456]

Tuesday:

2 miles : 18 minutes

Wednesday:

2 miles : 15 minutes

Might try and go to the gym soon. Goals from day-to-day are just to feed myself and go on a short run. Everything else is bonus.

[jaredmus]

some good times man, I like running as well what type of running shoes do you have? I love my mizzuno and brooks

[Reid456]

some good times man, I like running as well what type of running shoes do you have? I love my mizzuno and brooks

I'm not a subscriber to traditional running shoes. I think they are a big contributor to a lot of injuries that runners get since the 1970s when modern running shoes started coming out. I used to run in Vibrams, but I think my feet would be too out of shape to do that now. I have some Nike Free 3.0s that I'm using now. Honestly, when I'm myself, I hate running. However, the last time my life was in a major rut, running was what got me out of it initially so I'm hoping I can do it again.

[Reid456]

So I felt it was in my best interest to take a leave of absence from grad school for a while. It got to the point where I was basically unable to care for myself well, so I moved home with my parents in late September and have been here ever since. Things still aren't great, but I think overall its on the upward trajectory. Not giving up yet.

[Bnizzle163]

So I felt it was in my best interest to take a leave of absence from grad school for a while. It got to the point where I was basically unable to care for myself well, so I moved home with my parents in late September and have been here ever since. Things still aren't great, but I think overall its on the upward trajectory. Not giving up yet.

Just remember that God has your back in this. Whatever decision you have made is the right one; it's in his plan. I am glad to hear from you, man. Keep your head up and find your happiness .

[MikeWines]

Praying for you Reid. One day at a time buddy, we all have tough times.

[Reid456]

Hey guys, just updating on you on my life/lifting.

As you could guess from my last couple posts, 2015 was a pretty dark time for me. But I made it through, and recently I've been doing much, much better. In fact, I'm moving out of my parents house and back to Nashville tomorrow to complete my Master's degree. After I do that, my life is moving away from biochemical research and moving toward ...??? Something. I have no clue where I'll end up in a year but I'm more OK with that now than I ever have been. I'm beginning to regain confidence in who I am and let me tell you, it feels great to be able to look in the mirror and be happy about the man inside the image. But I've still got work to do.

I've been hitting the gym between 3-5x per week recently and I think it's doing wonders for my mental state. I'm not quite hitting old numbers, but I have retained a surprising amount of strength and endurance. Yesterday I was able to hit 6:33 on my warm-up mile and it felt like (mostly) a breeze. My best ever is 5:54! It's kind of crazy how quick the body can regain it's former state when you tell it to. I've mainly just been working out "by feel" and not following any set plan. It's all about baby steps for me right now and soon I hope to move back into a little bit more planned lifting. I'm not sure if I ever want to compete again, but I want to continue lifting for the rest of my life.

My main hobby has now become getting better at disc golf. It's a super niche sport, but it's been growing and I absolutely love playing. Search youtube for "Paul McBeth" and watch a couple videos. It's kind of replaced lifting for me in the respect that you have to train your mind to always be positive. That is PARAMOUNT for me to work on get back to my normal state.

That's all for now. Maybe I will start posting again once I get back into a routine in Nashville. Hope you all are doing well. Thanks for any and all who continue to support me.

[TGreggors]

Don't think I've ever actually posted in one of your threads before, but I've lurked for a very long time. I've read through your entire log from back in 2012 when you competed, and it has been a source of motivation as I attempt to prepare for my own first contest this year since our frames/starting points(in 2012 at least) are rather similar in my eyes. Happy to see that things are on the rise for you again and that you're going back to Nashville. I'll actually be centralized there for three or so years starting next fall, too, since I will be attending pharmacy school there. Anyways, man, it's clear that you have a ton of tenacity and I have a lot of respect for that. Happy to get an update

[Reid456]

Don't think I've ever actually posted in one of your threads before, but I've lurked for a very long time. I've read through your entire log from back in 2012 when you competed, and it has been a source of motivation as I attempt to prepare for my own first contest this year since our frames/starting points(in 2012 at least) are rather similar in my eyes. Happy to see that things are on the rise for you again and that you're going back to Nashville. I'll actually be centralized there for three or so years starting next fall, too, since I will be attending pharmacy school there. Anyways, man, it's clear that you have a ton of tenacity and I have a lot of respect for that. Happy to get an update

Will you be lifting at the Vanderbilt gym or another school? Hit me up maybe we could lift sometime.

[TGreggors]

Will you be lifting at the Vanderbilt gym or another school? Hit me up maybe we could lift sometime.

Really haven't gotten that far yet. But probably the gym for University of Tennessee Health Science students. Would definitely be down, though.

[Reid456]

Just another update: been lifting on and off... Managed to go four days in a row last week and it felt great and then.... inexpicably depression and anxiety attacks again and incapacitates me for a few days. It's a tiresome cycle and actually getting anything done in the low times requires huge amounts of effort. Anyway, I think the biggest thing for me right now is trying to finish my Master's degree by September. Some days it seems easy, some days it's near impossible but fortunately I can do next to nothing in a day and no one notices. I'll only believe I have completed it after I've turned in the thesis get the approval on it. All I can envision feeling is relief. It's not something I'm necessarily proud of, I just want it to be over. Hopefully then I can put all of the bad stuff in research in a bag and toss it out of my brain forever.

[DJaRiHardstyle]

It could just end up being the stresses of grad school, especially in a field as inherently stressful as biochemical research, that are bringing out some of the anxiety and depression you had hitherto managed to stow away and be in control of.

I have no doubts you have it in you to persevere and come out of this a stronger man. I'm always here to chat man. If you're ever back in the DC/Northern VA area, let's get another lift in and catch up.

God bless

[Reid456]

It could just end up being the stresses of grad school, especially in a field as inherently stressful as biochemical research, that are bringing out some of the anxiety and depression you had hitherto managed to stow away and be in control of.

I have no doubts you have it in you to persevere and come out of this a stronger man. I'm always here to chat man. If you're ever back in the DC/Northern VA area, let's get another lift in and catch up.

God bless

Thanks man, hope you've been doing well. I'll certainly be back in DC sometime this year.

[LoganBrown]

You still in Nashville man? I'm in Knoxville myself, would love to catch a lift with you if you're ever in this direction or I'm in that direction.

I know I havent posted in this thread yet but I couldn't help but notice how you said you were going through some pretty rough patches. Just know that I'm with everyone else on here if you ever need to PM anyone. Hope all is well brother.