Ask Amris

[quickups]

Well, the problem is that you are basing this all on looks. So long as you're basing people's worth on looks, then you are going to be seeing people who are physically "thus and so" as "better" than you, and you'll be stuck to your "level."

What do you mean stuck to my "level"? But aren't men in general judge women by looks first?

[Amris]

What do you mean stuck to my "level"? But aren't men in general judge women by looks first?

Everyone judges by looks first. But here's the problem.

When you look at yourself, and rate yourself as this hypothetical 6, you look at:

- I'm X height.
- I'm Y weight.
- I have a funny chin.
- I have a sexy chest.

But women don't see things the same way. I don't have the reference, so don't ask... there was a study done where women were shown pictures of men, and asked to rate them. In the first grouping of men, the men were alone. All were in an identical posture.

In the next grouping, the men were in various postures and social situations and clothing.

What was found was that women would rate the same men better or worse based on certain factors. For example, it was found that when the same man held a baby, almost all of the women rated him higher than when it was just him. When a man was with another woman, he was rated higher. When he was with multiple women, he was rated higher. When he was wearing junk clothes, he was rated lower. When he was wearing nicer clothes and hanging out in a "wealthy" environment, he was rated higher.

Now. What does this tell you about women?

What it SHOULD tell you, is that being a "6" to women is not the same thing as being a "6" to you. When you think of yourself as a "6," you limit yourself. When you recognize the fact that, even if a woman initially rates you as a "6," her mind can be changed by your body language, your environment, your clothing, even what you say... then you begin to understand that... there are only the limits you put on yourself by your insecurity and your self-imposed rating of "6."

[musclebound2007]

Everyone judges by looks first. But here's the problem.

When you look at yourself, and rate yourself as this hypothetical 6, you look at:

- I'm X height.
- I'm Y weight.
- I have a funny chin.
- I have a sexy chest.

But women don't see things the same way. I don't have the reference, so don't ask... there was a study done where women were shown pictures of men, and asked to rate them. In the first grouping of men, the men were alone. All were in an identical posture.

In the next grouping, the men were in various postures and social situations and clothing.

What was found was that women would rate the same men better or worse based on certain factors. For example, it was found that when the same man held a baby, almost all of the women rated him higher than when it was just him. When a man was with another woman, he was rated higher. When he was with multiple women, he was rated higher. When he was wearing junk clothes, he was rated lower. When he was wearing nicer clothes and hanging out in a "wealthy" environment, he was rated higher.

Now. What does this tell you about women?

What it SHOULD tell you, is that being a "6" to women is not the same thing as being a "6" to you. When you think of yourself as a "6," you limit yourself. When you recognize the fact that, even if a woman initially rates you as a "6," her mind can be changed by your body language, your environment, your clothing, even what you say... then you begin to understand that... there are only the limits you put on yourself by your insecurity and your self-imposed rating of "6."

Wow this is some serious **** right here. I would rep you, but my power isn't even significant. But damn if that was some insight. Seriously. I think I will be taking this with me for the rest of my life and my outlook on female and male interaction.

[quickups]

Everyone judges by looks first. But here's the problem.

When you look at yourself, and rate yourself as this hypothetical 6, you look at:

- I'm X height.
- I'm Y weight.
- I have a funny chin.
- I have a sexy chest.

But women don't see things the same way. I don't have the reference, so don't ask... there was a study done where women were shown pictures of men, and asked to rate them. In the first grouping of men, the men were alone. All were in an identical posture.

In the next grouping, the men were in various postures and social situations and clothing.

What was found was that women would rate the same men better or worse based on certain factors. For example, it was found that when the same man held a baby, almost all of the women rated him higher than when it was just him. When a man was with another woman, he was rated higher. When he was with multiple women, he was rated higher. When he was wearing junk clothes, he was rated lower. When he was wearing nicer clothes and hanging out in a "wealthy" environment, he was rated higher.

Now. What does this tell you about women?

What it SHOULD tell you, is that being a "6" to women is not the same thing as being a "6" to you. When you think of yourself as a "6," you limit yourself. When you recognize the fact that, even if a woman initially rates you as a "6," her mind can be changed by your body language, your environment, your clothing, even what you say... then you begin to understand that... there are only the limits you put on yourself by your insecurity and your self-imposed rating of "6."

I gotta admit I am pretty impressed by this response. Not that your other responses weren't great(they offer very valuable information and insight) but this one is pretty damn good. I never thought of it that way. I'm glad I asked. I really appreciate you taking the time into reading my question and throughly asking them. Thank you.

[kimbo824]

Well, the problem is that you are basing this all on looks. So long as you're basing people's worth on looks, then you are going to be seeing people who are physically "thus and so" as "better" than you, and you'll be stuck to your "level."


Tell her to go see a doctor. Don't be insecure about it, she's got some kind of problem. But that doesn't mean she can just skate by with her problem and ignore it. It's having a detrimental effect on the quality of life for both of you. When she is neglecting you, and there aren't mitigating circumstances like hormonal changes (pregnancy, post-birth, menopause, etc.), then it's time to see a doctor and get the problem looked at.

I'm not going to accuse you of caring just about sex. Men bond through sex. Women bond through touch. Sex is how men feel loved. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just how men are. Sex during a relationship is important to men to keep the bond strong.

By the way, if you do a lot of touching her, snuggling, sleeping together without sex, whatever... step that back a LOT. She needs to start getting her oxytocin from sex instead of cuddles.

well first off, thank you for the reply. telling her to go see a doctor has been on my mind for awhile. but she gets really defensive sometimes about our "sex talks" and the other half of the time she's 100% understanding and sees where i come from. so i think me asking her to see a doctor because we're not having sex would be viewed as selfish(and it is, id say, but im running out of options) and it might even drift us farther apart(when it comes to sex). i have no idea if she'd be okay to go to one. she's so busy i doubt she would. she was talking about getting anti-depressants, but i those would just make her be woozy and supercalm. not sure if that would liven up our sex.

and as for cuddling, we do it nightly. it'd be hard to just back off that. ive tried before(when ive been frustrated in bed) and she'll be like "what, you dont want to hug me? are you upset?" and i can't be like "yeah im upset you're not putting out, so no hugs for you"

i've told her before sometimes it's hard for me to be close to her(physically) and not have sex. ive gotten blueballs like a hundred times, she's acted aggressive plenty of times(she used to do it more) then suddenly, she'd be like "wow im tired, gotta go to bed, nite"

i hope the doctor option helps, but im not holding my breath

[Amris]

Okay, you know what, with all due respect, you gotta get over the "selfish" bull****. That's her way of controlling you. You are totally under her control.

You NEED TO BE SELFISH. Get that through your head.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON IT.

If you don't start getting the sex you deserve, you are going to end up hating and resenting her. When that happens, your relationship is over.

If you want a healthy relationship, then next time she says you're being selfish, you say, "DAMNED RIGHT I AM! I WANT this relationship, I want this relationship to work, and I want to stay in this relationship. But when I resent you because you get your cuddling but refuse to meet MY NEEDS, then our relationship is in jeopardy.

"So that's damned right. For the health of our relationship, I'm being selfish. This relationship is over if we don't start start having sex anyway. So we can end it now, or we can drag it out and continue to increase my resentment. It's really your choice."

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you letting her control the relationship by using the bull**** excuse of "you're being selfish" is actually going to be the ruination of your relationship. The resentment will build and build. It's evitable.

[Amris]

Wow this is some serious **** right here. I would rep you, but my power isn't even significant. But damn if that was some insight. Seriously. I think I will be taking this with me for the rest of my life and my outlook on female and male interaction.

I gotta admit I am pretty impressed by this response. Not that your other responses weren't great(they offer very valuable information and insight) but this one is pretty damn good. I never thought of it that way. I'm glad I asked. I really appreciate you taking the time into reading my question and throughly asking them. Thank you.

You're welcome. Glad I could help.

[Amris]

I'm going on vacation for a week, ladies and gentlemen. I will see you when I return.

[quickups]

hi Armis... i need a solution to this problem....

I been talking to the girl for 2 months now and well I thought she was normal but latly shes been showing sign of a stalker/psycho/clinger.....

I dunno what to say but my gut instinct tells me she's not really good news. On the outside she looks normal but I think she is psychologically messed up.

I have like this myspace page where she posted a comment on every single picture I have and she reads all my blog too, commenting on them...

I wasn't expecting this but i went to her page and she practically has it set up to be talking to me... I find it very uncomfortable now and I really need to cut all ties with her.

BTW, she has my phone number and knows a few personal things about me....
I just want to live a normal life atm...

thanks!

The solution to this simple problem is to stop making her think she has a chance with you and move on. Be polite but be clear that you don't have any sexual interest in her if she is indeed a clinger/stalker whatever.

[NorwegianBadass]

Hey Amris! Can you please take a look at my thread and maybe give some advice? Thanks!
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=109225071

[Traps456]

Amris, i remember when you first joined the forum, so many ppl made threads calling upon your assistance. You are well respected by many and i hope everything is well with your child. Now to my question....

I like this girl who i have been close friends with for a while now. Shes the 'princess' type who strives on compliments and attention from males. She knows me back to front and what i like and don't like in women. She is very much full of mind games, like myself, and uses it to her advantage. I never fall for girls like her, i just play them back, make them earn it and string them along, but this one has got me strung! And i keep asking myself, why? Why am i falling for her? How am i in this position?

[a3g]

out of 10 rate how bad these qualities were if you were to date a man.

-hairy dick
-bad breath/bad odor
-severe man boobs
-nervousness/wussiness/geekness
-virgin at an old age

[user90890439043]

I was sifting through the entire Relationship Help section for 10mins to
find the proper place to post this, lol, 3am :|.

Well im in a bad predicament, this might have to do with the confidence factor.
i had a rough childhood with bullies, and basically had my own self-confidence crushed, i was somewhat overweight had big ole style glasses etc.
as time changed and i matured, working out, and losing fat.
my confidence has not gained. i see women look at me (not all the time)
usually when im at the gym near the machines or at the bar. but they just over over me, like im a fisher men trying to grab them with words and attention.
i also wondered why women usually tend to want the guy to make the first move, really pisses me off to be honest.. one time i was kneeling at the bar
near the tip-jar, alone some chick with her friends all smiling and happy and ****, looking over, i was in a sad state why else am i drinking alone???, expect me to walk up all happy and ****? wtf?

well to sum this all up
from 5 years of this crap, i come to a semi-certain conclusion
all women are the same. least to me.
if you have any info/advice for this confidence thing please tell me
im over 21years old...

[Supadude]

Amris seriously, why are women so insane? The majority of the advice you gave in the first post is ridiculous and illogical. Is every many really required to play the "game" just for a women to be satisfied with a relationship?

[Wooden10Q]

Hello Amris,
I'd like to have your help on this :

There's this girl at my church, she sends me messages saying she likes me, I'm a really nice guy, etc. Then, she tells me (for real, not phone messages) she wants us to meet more often, do something ...
She sends me some signals every now and then, like she likes my deep voice, I look mature, etc.

But sometimes she's playing hard to get, and instead of having a simple date, she invites other people in from the ward, or just cancel our dates last minute ...

So I just ignore her as well sometimes, pretend I don't care for her, every now and then, only to show more attention at key moments ...
But still, she's driving me crazy, I really like her a lot ...!


What should I do ??
What are the next steps to make it into a real relationship ??

Thanks in advance

Josh

[ispy]

I have a question about dreams (any kind): Are they pointless or do they mean something?

Personally I think they don't mean anything, and just something that goes through your mind when you're asleep. What's your take on this?

[dfdsgdfgyh]

Amris please take a look at my thread, and TELL ME I WASNT BEING AN AFC, lol, but I mean I just missed chances, if u got any advice please give me some...

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=109329281

[Dubl10]

Amris seriously, why are women so insane? The majority of the advice you gave in the first post is ridiculous and illogical. Is every many really required to play the "game" just for a women to be satisfied with a relationship?

my question exactly.

why do we have to cater around the "illogical" and at what point or to what degree, do you do the illogical?

are you illogical on everything or just some things. IF just somethings, then what are you illogical on and what not illogical on??? How do you determine which things to be illogical on?

i would hope not everything. I mean, is it logical to spend your entire paycheck at the mall when you have to pay your house payment first????

i just can't stand illogical thinking. It always ends up, in the long run, FUKING EVERYONE OVER!!!

now i know why, everybody who is married, tells me, who isn't married (which, the reason i'm not is because i apply LOGIC to everything), that i'm lucky to be single and that they wish they were in my shoes.

i just don't get it.

have to implement illogical thinking, yet the divorce rate is out of control. just look at our country, how ****ty it is.

man this illogical thinking stuff is working great for everyone!!!

[Amris]

Hey Amris! Can you please take a look at my thread and maybe give some advice? Thanks!
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=109225071

Done.

Amris, i remember when you first joined the forum, so many ppl made threads calling upon your assistance. You are well respected by many and i hope everything is well with your child. Now to my question....

I like this girl who i have been close friends with for a while now. Shes the 'princess' type who strives on compliments and attention from males. She knows me back to front and what i like and don't like in women. She is very much full of mind games, like myself, and uses it to her advantage. I never fall for girls like her, i just play them back, make them earn it and string them along, but this one has got me strung! And i keep asking myself, why? Why am i falling for her? How am i in this position?

Okay. She doesn't so much thrive on it, as she has low self-esteem and thus requires it. She has you strung because you are more emotionally invested in the possibility of a relationship than she is.

You've forgotten how you would act if you didn't give a crap about her.

However, I am going to tell you straight-up. A relationship with this one, unless you enjoy "open relationships," is never going to go well. This type of woman will constantly be driven to seek attention... and will always look down upon the men who give it to her, until something happens to snap her out of her self-loathing.

out of 10 rate how bad these qualities were if you were to date a man.

-hairy dick

Don't care.

-bad breath/bad odor

That one's rather serious. I'm a smell oriented person. However, I will say that I'm not really all that picky about body odors, so long as the person doesn't just decide not to bathe or brush for days or weeks.

-severe man boobs

Nothing he can do about it, so it's not really that big a deal. But I would probably not be initially attracted to him, as the chest is one of my favorite areas. It could be overcome by a strong personality, though.

-nervousness/wussiness/geekness

Depends. It can be really bad, but it can also be fine. My husband is a nervous 'geek', but he lacks the wussiness. I think that particular factor would bother me the most of the three.

-virgin at an old age

Not important to me, although the opposite is a huge turn off to me. I make it a blanket policy not to date "man whores" if I can help it. Men with a history of long-term or no relationship is more attractive to me than the "I nailed everything that moved" guy.

[Amris]

well to sum this all up
from 5 years of this crap, i come to a semi-certain conclusion
all women are the same. least to me.
if you have any info/advice for this confidence thing please tell me
im over 21years old...

All women are pretty much the same. So are all men. Different content, same structure. There are variances, but not nearly what people tell themselves there is. Humans as a whole are fairly predictable.

Amris seriously, why are women so insane? The majority of the advice you gave in the first post is ridiculous and illogical. Is every many really required to play the "game" just for a women to be satisfied with a relationship?

This is not a place to vent. If you want to whine, make your own thread.

What should I do ??
What are the next steps to make it into a real relationship ??

Thanks in advance

Josh

Okay, with due respect, this girl is not into you. When you are into someone, do you drag people along on dates, cancel dates, and otherwise fail to show up/show interest?

I recommend that you let this one go. Not only is she a bit on the unstable side, but she's really not interested in you. When a woman is interested in you, on a genuine basis, she shows up. She doesn't drag a cushion along to keep herself from being alone with you, and she doesn't keep bobbing in and out of "attraction."

You are only there when she gets bored and wants some attention.

I'm honestly very sorry to be so blunt with you, but you don't have any hope with this girl. You are on the friend list, and getting off of the friend list is next to impossible... and in this case, not at all worth it.

Please give up all hope with this girl, and find someone who genuinely LIKES YOU. It will be the best thing for you.

[Amris]

I have a question about dreams (any kind): Are they pointless or do they mean something?

Personally I think they don't mean anything, and just something that goes through your mind when you're asleep. What's your take on this?

My scientific answer is that they still don't know, but they DO know that it's necessary, to our very survival, in fact.

From personal opinion, it is the way that our minds use allegory and visualization to help process our thoughts and experiences about life. Our subconscious deals in visuals, not in words, etc. Therefor, when it gets its chance to be dominant at night, it continues to process life through application of allegory and visualization.

Amris please take a look at my thread, and TELL ME I WASNT BEING AN AFC, lol, but I mean I just missed chances, if u got any advice please give me some...

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=109329281

Done, posted a response there, too.

You were a bit of an "AFC," but expecting yourself to fall back into socializing perfectly and immediately is fairly unrealistic and unreasonable after such a long break. Having stupid and unrealistic expectations of yourself won't help you get your confidence back, either.

my question exactly.

why do we have to cater around the "illogical" and at what point or to what degree, do you do the illogical?

You don't. Nobody says you have to have a relationship at all.

are you illogical on everything or just some things. IF just somethings, then what are you illogical on and what not illogical on??? How do you determine which things to be illogical on?

i would hope not everything. I mean, is it logical to spend your entire paycheck at the mall when you have to pay your house payment first????

i just can't stand illogical thinking. It always ends up, in the long run, FUKING EVERYONE OVER!!!

now i know why, everybody who is married, tells me, who isn't married (which, the reason i'm not is because i apply LOGIC to everything), that i'm lucky to be single and that they wish they were in my shoes.

i just don't get it.

have to implement illogical thinking, yet the divorce rate is out of control. just look at our country, how ****ty it is.

man this illogical thinking stuff is working great for everyone!!!

You are the one being illogical. Women are the ones who become vulnerable during pregnancy and childbirth, and who must do the genetic selecting for their future offspring. It would be illogical to simply move in with some guy and spread her legs without bothering to get to know him or to test him for suitability. And it would be even more illogical for her to find out that the man is unsuitable, and repeat the mistake of procreating with him. Therefor, continued vigilance on the part of the woman is necessary for the continuation of the species.

[Amris]

And by the way, it's almost impossible for me to believe someone who claims they are so logical, when they sit there and whine about the realities of life, rather than maturely accepting reality and dealing with it on its own terms. If you're going to complain about life instead of dealing with it maturely, at least don't be a hypocrite and cry about someone else being "illogical."

[Dubl10]

You don't. Nobody says you have to have a relationship at all.

You are the one being illogical. Women are the ones who become vulnerable during pregnancy and childbirth, and who must do the genetic selecting for their future offspring. It would be illogical to simply move in with some guy and spread her legs without bothering to get to know him or to test him for suitability. And it would be even more illogical for her to find out that the man is unsuitable, and repeat the mistake of procreating with him. Therefor, continued vigilance on the part of the woman is necessary for the continuation of the species.

that was a lot of help. that answer was duh!

How about this.... you are out hanging out with some girl, you guys are having a great time, you are starting to hook up with her, etc.. she says things to you though such as.... she's been really hurt in the past, etc... you really like her and you don't want to hurt her or just fuk her and leave and you know many guys are like that etc...

i don't push it, i take it slow. she is texting you things like.. "are we going to have a one night stand". eventually i'm like.. no i actually care about you, etc.. i'm being honest and straight forward. no games.

yet, since i just did that, i failed. lost. see ya. Once i told her that i cared about her, it was all over from there.

people are telling me, "i didn't play any games", it's why i failed with her. well how the hell am i suppose to play a game. what should i have done instead?

[IzRiot]

Hey i read the hole thread cover to cover great advice, going to ask for some myself.

So first off i know your first advice is move on dont battle the friend zone, but im not going to do that, so if you can help me id love it.

I've really liked my best friend for years but didnt have the physical confidence to try and move forward with her, and in the last 8 months have lost 100lbs, so i really am feeling allot more confident about myself (her telling me how good i look almost every time i see her helps), but the hole deal is we have been friends for like 4 years and i was her first real friend after she got divorced and moved down her (she is 27), now I've decided i have to be selfish and try, but i know im a huge part of her trust circle she doesn't have many others she feels she can talk to, so i just want some advice on how to approach the topic in a way that gives her as comfortable a spot as i can give her if she has to/wants to say no. Normally id just lean in for a kiss when i felt the moment, but i figure thats not the right way with your best friend.

PS: her Ex husband and I share the same name, did that **** me over from the start, i hear same name linking is a huge thing.

[Dubl10]

2 women in my life. My mom and my sister in law.

LOGIC

My parents are DEBT!! I think before going off the deep end and spending a lot of money on luxeries, you would want to pay off debt first. but that's just me. After all, look at the economy and the value of the USD. Yet, my mom goes off and increases the size of her wedding ring!

that's fine, except. where are you getting the money for this???? and can't someone ever be down to earth a little bit more. I mean, why do people get all caught up in "materialistic items", is this bigger diamond going to make her feel more like a woman now????

my brother and my "soon to be" sister in law, just bought a house. They'll be married in a couple of weeks. Etc.. naturally you are going to buy new things for your house, get it "started", makes sense. The problem is, when you do this, you end up spending a lot of money. trust me, i know, i already did it a couple of years ago. the list of things that my sister in law wants, is clearly going off the deep end. and they don't have the money for it!!!! what in the hell are people thinking?

they live in one of the safest neighborhoods, you can possible live in, and she wants to spend 5,000 dollars on this security system. geez!!! are you paranoid? she wants to do things towards the house, that are nice, but it's not needed right now. For instance, change all the door handles to where they are silver and not gold. this will cost a lot of $$$$$$$.

by the way, the debt keeps growing, not shrinking.

don't worry, you're taking after all the other americans in this country, including our leaders, after all, america is 9 trillion dollars in debt. and people wonder why the value of the US dollar sucks, which is the biggest cause of high gas prices and high food prices.

I won't bash just women. I LOVE bashing MEN. just immature, illogical behavior, on a daily basis, my god!

How about when the man beats his wife, or tells her to get back in the kitchen or cheats on her. Does that make you feel more of a man now????

what a joke.

Amris, i'm not saying women are ONLY illogical. I'm telling everyone, that MOST PEOPLE, men and women both, are illogical.

i can't stand most men's behavior, same with women.

it's funny, my dad, my brother, my friends who are married, they all actually say to me, that they are jealous cause i'm single and imply that i should be lucky, etc..

and i'm sitting her going... what the fuk, are you serious. how sad is that!

i just reply to them, the reason why i'm single, is because from day one, i apply logic. what is right, what makes sense, what works, period. human beings aren't drawn to doing what is right or whats best. they simply just care to satisfy an emotional urge. PERIOD.

no matter how much it fuks them in the ass, or causes them to go into debt, or how much more fat and unhealthy they will become, etc.. doesnt' matter.

[Bonifacius]

Would a girl stick around if her bf told her he was never going to marry her but wanted to stay in the relationship for now ?

[IzRiot]

Would a girl stick around if her bf told her he was never going to marry her but wanted to stay in the relationship for now ?

brutal.

[Bonifacius]

brutal.

haha just as I thought

[Dubl10]

haha just as I thought

i would think, for the time being. why not? in the mean time, obviously, you keep looking around for someone else. but if you are bored and got nothing to do one night, lets have fun!!

[Amris]

that was a lot of help. that answer was duh!

How about this.... you are out hanging out with some girl, you guys are having a great time, you are starting to hook up with her, etc.. she says things to you though such as.... she's been really hurt in the past, etc... you really like her and you don't want to hurt her or just fuk her and leave and you know many guys are like that etc...

i don't push it, i take it slow. she is texting you things like.. "are we going to have a one night stand". eventually i'm like.. no i actually care about you, etc.. i'm being honest and straight forward. no games.

yet, since i just did that, i failed. lost. see ya. Once i told her that i cared about her, it was all over from there.

people are telling me, "i didn't play any games", it's why i failed with her. well how the hell am i suppose to play a game. what should i have done instead?

Maybe that's why. Maybe it's not. What you "should have done" is waited to become attached to her until AFTER a relationship formed, NOT before.

yeah cause america is in great shape the way it is right now!!

divorce rates are out of control

Yes. The favorite of so many people... divorce rates. Ask anyone forced to stay in a crap marriage whether or not it's better to be in a crap marriage for life, or divorced.

Having been in a crap marriage myself, and STILL faced the stigma against leaving... let me tell you something.

Thank GOD for the divorce rate going up. Because that means fewer people are stuck for a lifetime in HORRIFIC conditions. I'm not being beaten routinely because, horror of horrors, the divorce rate is up.

This fantasy that "back then" all relationships lasted into old age because people were HAPPY in their marriages, rather than STUCK... is just that. A fantasy.

war on terror so far has been a failure.

The war on terror is about control, and has nothing to do with male/female relationships.

marijuana is illegal

Oh, dear god, it's the END OF THE WORLD! HOW WILL WE SURVIVE POT BEING ILLEGAL?!?!?!

gas and food prices are way out of control
economy sucks
were 9 trillion dollars in debt
war with Iran is right around the corner. when this happens, price per barrel will shoot up well above $200 dollars.
the value of the USD is horrible.

There's a place to bitch, piss, and moan about this ****. This thread ain't it.

everyone will get a nice welcome thread to a new war when we strike Iran with me saying... I TOLD YOU SO.

but i forgot, i'm the one who is fuked up.

don't worry, i've actually learned what is the right way to success. being selfish, greedy, manipulative, lying, not giving a ****, etc... are all the qualities that makes one successful.

EVIL pawns GOOD all the time. I get that. I just won't and can't bend over to evil. just won't.

I didn't say you're f*cked up. I said to stop being a hypocrite. Stop pissing about people being illogical, and then taking this "woe is me, boo hoo, life sucks, everyone has to change for me" attitude. Get your head out of your ass and make the best of things. Or wait for the world to change before you can choose to make the best of things. If you choose to wait, that's your personal problem.

Hey i read the hole thread cover to cover great advice, going to ask for some myself.

So first off i know your first advice is move on dont battle the friend zone, but im not going to do that, so if you can help me id love it.

I've really liked my best friend for years but didnt have the physical confidence to try and move forward with her, and in the last 8 months have lost 100lbs, so i really am feeling allot more confident about myself (her telling me how good i look almost every time i see her helps), but the hole deal is we have been friends for like 4 years and i was her first real friend after she got divorced and moved down her (she is 27), now I've decided i have to be selfish and try, but i know im a huge part of her trust circle she doesn't have many others she feels she can talk to, so i just want some advice on how to approach the topic in a way that gives her as comfortable a spot as i can give her if she has to/wants to say no. Normally id just lean in for a kiss when i felt the moment, but i figure thats not the right way with your best friend.

PS: her Ex husband and I share the same name, did that **** me over from the start, i hear same name linking is a huge thing.

Well, you need to start escalating "the Kino" as the PUA guys like to call it. Start increasing the intimacy of your touching her. Start with a hand at her lower back, to steer her through a doorway, for example. Let it linger a few seconds, then move on.

Take her arm to help guide her when you change directions. Put your arm around her and pull her close against your side in a sideways hug, looking into her eyes for a few seconds before letting go and moving on as if it never happened. Put your thigh against hers. Lean in towards her, looking her directly in the eyes.

Start increasing the intimacy and sexuality of your behavior. Stop pretending that you are just a friend and start acting like you're a sexual being. Because you are.