So I am 22 and got my first girlfriend sophomore year of cellege (yes late bloomer). So i fell for this girl hard... she was the first girl i ever kissed, ever did anything with. Without ever having a girlfriend before her, i obviously didnt have anything to compare her to, and thus thought she was perfect.
So fast forward to 3 years later... she is a great girlfriend but she is very jealous about me hanging out with other girls, doesnt like to drink, always questions what I am doing on the weekends. (she lives 2.5 hours away) SHe says she 'gets the feeling i am cheating on her' when i have never done anything that would make her think that and frankly i would never cheat on a girl.
Essentially i just want to be 22 and have fun and hang out with as many people and meet as many people as i can. I just started a new job, am living in a big city.... life is good. She wants me to spend every weekend with her.
My ultimate problem is that i really dont want to dump her, but i kinda want to be free and do what i want to do. I dont have a reason to dump her other than me wanting freedom.
IS this normal for first loves? The urge to see what else is out there? And is this normal for college grads?... to be free?
Thanks a lot guys.
(I post in the misc quite a bit but too many people know my screen name and know her, so i dont want her to find out about this)
Cliffs:
-Just graduated college
-First girlfriend ever - sophomore year college until now
-Lives 2.5 hours away
-Only wants me to hang out with her
-I want to hang out with lots of people
-Torn of whether i should dump her or not
-I want freedom.
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07-28-2007, 11:35 PM #1Registered User
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22 and still on my first girlfriend.... (serious)(yes cliffs)
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07-28-2007, 11:39 PM #2Registered User
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wow strong first post... and i think yor should dump her... there is plenty more girls out there who wont get as jealous.
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07-28-2007, 11:41 PM #3Registered User
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Yeah but i guess my other fear is the fear of regret... what if she is the best girl i'll ever have and i throw it away?
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07-28-2007, 11:45 PM #4Baller Shot Caller
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You are young. Just starting your career... basically just starting your life bro. If you want freedom, let her off but do it in a nice way.
You're worried that you'll regret losing her. But by the way you sound, if you stay with her you could regret it for the rest of your life. I say go out, date other girls, and see what life has to offer. You only live once so do what makes you happy.
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07-28-2007, 11:48 PM #5Registered User
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Well you won't be able to know untill you've been with others will you?Originally Posted by TheLaxDaddy
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07-28-2007, 11:54 PM #6Registered User
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Originally Posted by Fearless_
I think both of you are right....Originally Posted by Mernalous
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07-28-2007, 11:54 PM #7Banned
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You do know that when ppl accuse their bf/gf or wife/husband of cheating and have no reason to think they are cheating, alot of times it's because the person doing the accusing has cheated, is cheating, will cheat or is considering cheating.
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07-29-2007, 12:06 AM #8Registered User
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No i did not know that.... interesting....Originally Posted by ryannath
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07-29-2007, 12:06 AM #9In progress
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X2 , shes prolly ****ed some other guy by now...... OOOOOR... shes real clingy so I would be careful.Originally Posted by ryannath
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07-29-2007, 12:11 AM #10Registered User
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im not going to assume shes cheated on me unless i know... and i really dont have that suspicion, i am very trusting... but ill be on the lookout....Originally Posted by sensetarget
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07-29-2007, 12:13 AM #11Registered User
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So i mean ultimately i guess a good follow up question is this:
If I want to dump her, I have no reason to other than I want to see what else life has to offer. Is this a good enough reason?
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07-29-2007, 12:16 AM #12Monster
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No. That's weak. That can be part of it, but tell her everything you told us in your first post. That's reason enough.
1. She's clingy
2. Sounds like a bitch
3. Cheated/Cheating/Going to cheat
4. Demanding
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07-29-2007, 12:17 AM #13In progress
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ok, on the serious note, man just straight up tell her that you want to see what else is out there, you want adventure, if shes not on the wagon, she does NOT respect you, so in my book = dump her
^ you beat me to it
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07-29-2007, 12:19 AM #14
no reason to let her go, sounds like she really loves you. someone is always going to chase the other in a relationship, if she was treating u poorly/thinking about dumping u, u would probably be groveling at her feet posting some **** about how heart broken and crushed you are.
you have the power right now man, but remember that it can always switch. good job but keep ur game tight. if you dump her you will regret it.
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07-29-2007, 12:21 AM #15Registered User
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Originally Posted by megaforcetkd
Originally Posted by sensetarget
Originally Posted by Kilburn
Wow... strong conflicting thoughts.......
I mean she is a good girlfriend but i think i really have fallen out of love with her.....
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07-29-2007, 12:31 AM #16Hier kommt die Sonne
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Tell her what you told us in the OP.
Tell her that if the relationship is meant to work then no matter what it will, and if the 2 of you are not good for each other then there is no point dragging the relationship.
If you do care enough, give her a second chance to give you the freedom that you desire.
If she f*cks up again, dump her. If you dont care enough, dump her...Last edited by Vante; 07-29-2007 at 09:23 AM.
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07-29-2007, 12:43 AM #17Registered User
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well put...Originally Posted by Vante
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07-29-2007, 12:50 AM #18Cardio freak
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I know the feeling..
I dumped my first gf because I was afraid of spending the rest of my life with the same girl
lol i'm a jerk
but i was only 16 and the relationship had gone for like 2 years
it was starting to feel like husband and wife
needed to move on and see what's out there
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07-29-2007, 07:55 AM #19Finding new limits
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If you're having second thoughts after 3 years then imagine what you are going to be like in 20 years...Originally Posted by TheLaxDaddy
i left my g/f of 5 years about 8 months ago. I regret nothing. I still love her and think about her a lot, but I'm young and need to try different things and learn about myself more.
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07-29-2007, 07:59 AM #20Proud Dad
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i was in the same situation
i dumped her and had the best time of my life
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07-29-2007, 08:01 AM #21Brutal Bosnian
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dumpster her man
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07-29-2007, 08:58 AM #22Registered User
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Yeah you are right... i do kinda feel/like husband and wife, and thats really not what i want at 22.....Originally Posted by webster7
Its still tough to tell a girl you are gonna break up with her because i want to see what else is out there...
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07-29-2007, 09:21 AM #23187 Racing
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your last cliffs says it all.
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07-29-2007, 09:54 AM #24Registered User
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CheersOriginally Posted by SpoofRocket
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07-29-2007, 11:52 AM #25
keep her, build a team of women. tell her ur going to be ****ing other girls but u still want to see her, see what happens.
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07-29-2007, 12:43 PM #26Still Breathin'
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dump her.
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07-29-2007, 07:13 PM #27Finding new limits
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^^^ DO NOT DO THIS!!!Originally Posted by Kilburn
I tried it with an ex... tried being completley honest and told her I wanted to meet other girls but she would be my main g/f. It didn't go down very well.
The truth is not always the best option.
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07-29-2007, 07:17 PM #28Registered User
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So would you suggest just telling her the truth but NOT being an ******* and telling her you wanna go f*ck other girls....Originally Posted by EyeCyoo
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07-29-2007, 07:23 PM #29Blue Belt Beardman
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yea thats a normal thing to happened, it happened to me. im still with my first girlfriend. i made the mistake of smoking weed when it was something she was really against and lying to her about it. i would never cheat on her or anything like that though. im happy with her now, im trying to find a good medium of spending time with her and still having a good time with my friends.
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07-29-2007, 08:14 PM #30Finding new limits
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What I learnt was not to tell your g/f anything thats going to cause massive tension or doubt. Even though you are being honest it will create massive doubt and trouble down the line.Originally Posted by TheLaxDaddy
If you want to f*ck other girls or do things that are not normal to a typical relationship then you are best to be single and do them rather than take your girl on an emotional rollercoaster ride where she gets spat out in the end.
What do you really want? If you want a relationship commit to it, if you want other things then be single and do them. You can't have your cake and eat it.
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