The antijoke thread
Write here your best antijokes, if not; we will not read you best antijokes.
Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk properly again.
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
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A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
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What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
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Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
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Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
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What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Being raped.
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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
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Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest
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Results 1 to 30 of 202
Thread: The antijoke thread
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10-03-2006, 05:30 PM #1Usual Suspect
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The antijoke thread
Let me not pray to be sheltered from danger, but to be fearless in facing it.
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10-03-2006, 05:31 PM #2
why would we care about anti-jokes? those are boring. negged.
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10-03-2006, 05:32 PM #3I'll burn your fkn house
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Lol!!!!
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10-03-2006, 05:38 PM #4Usual Suspect
- Join Date: Mar 2006
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Whys being negged so ****?Originally Posted by AGS
Because you lose a rep point.Let me not pray to be sheltered from danger, but to be fearless in facing it.
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10-03-2006, 05:40 PM #5Registered User
- Join Date: Jun 2006
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This thread is anti-interesting :P
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10-03-2006, 05:42 PM #6lol you actually did the math, and re-edited your original post to show how smart you THOUGHT i would think you were. nice try though. negged for real this time.Originally Posted by Kaiser Sose
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10-03-2006, 05:43 PM #7Banned
- Join Date: Feb 2005
- Location: the hand was not of flesh, but on an arm of blackened steel, with copper trim, always moving.rising above the clouds, it surveys its district, but only to descend gracefully into black smoke.who were their creators?no one has dared to get close enough to ask, Belize
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because chickens have small brains and wander aimlessly, it happened to cross a road.
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Two Mexicans walk into a bar. They both have a few beers then leave.
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Yo mamma's so fat, her arteries are clogged and has to have coronary bypass surgery next week.
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Why was the dumb blonde fired from the M&M's factory?
She was caught stealing from the company and was arrested.
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10-03-2006, 05:43 PM #8Registered User
- Join Date: Jul 2005
- Location: Ottawhat!?!
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Hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahha hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaahhahahaahahahah
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10-03-2006, 05:44 PM #9USMC
- Join Date: Jul 2006
- Location: United States
- Age: 38
- Posts: 55
- Rep Power: 241
pretty funny
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10-03-2006, 05:45 PM #10Banned
- Join Date: Feb 2005
- Location: the hand was not of flesh, but on an arm of blackened steel, with copper trim, always moving.rising above the clouds, it surveys its district, but only to descend gracefully into black smoke.who were their creators?no one has dared to get close enough to ask, Belize
- Posts: 4,782
- Rep Power: 0
What's black and blue and covered in plastic?
A dead fetus in a ziplock bag.
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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
10 babies nailed to 10 trees.
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10-03-2006, 05:48 PM #11Registered User
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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Finding half a worm
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10-03-2006, 05:49 PM #12Usual Suspect
- Join Date: Mar 2006
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- Rep Power: 1755
There was no maths involved.Originally Posted by AGSLet me not pray to be sheltered from danger, but to be fearless in facing it.
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10-03-2006, 05:55 PM #13Registered User
- Join Date: Jul 2005
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When you spit up phlegm after eating a hot dog, what do you have?
Gastrointestinal obstruction
How do you get an elephant into a fridge?
Open the door
When a flock of geese fly over head in a V shape, why is one side of the V longer than the other?
Because there are more geese on one side.
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10-03-2006, 06:03 PM #14Banned
- Join Date: Nov 2004
- Location: Laguna Niguel, The Fake OC
- Posts: 3,229
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hahaha I like them
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10-03-2006, 06:09 PM #15mirror on da flow
- Join Date: Jun 2002
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- Rep Power: 992
Originally Posted by Kaiser Sose
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed. Who?
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10-03-2006, 06:11 PM #16whatever, thx for the neg rep....becuase for that same comment, i got repped and raised 11 points! SWEEET!Originally Posted by Kaiser Sose
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10-03-2006, 06:11 PM #17Registered User
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lolOriginally Posted by Kaiser Sose
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10-04-2006, 04:45 AM #18Registered User
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10 hours later I'm still busting my gut everytime I read them!!!!
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10-04-2006, 05:26 AM #19▲▲▲ Just as it says ▲▲▲
- Join Date: Apr 2005
- Location: Having a drink, in a pub, Next to the resturant at the end of the universe
- Age: 44
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What is blue and ****s old people?
Hyperthermia"The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds" - Henry Rollins
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10-04-2006, 05:28 AM #20Aus Brah
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lol, those go off
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10-04-2006, 05:32 AM #21Klaus
- Join Date: Aug 2006
- Location: United Kingdom
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more more please!!!
Not only are my muscles big but they've got more layers of fibras n **** than other peoples. Just the other day my man J-Bomb thought he was cokcy **** since hes pretty damn jacked too put he aint got **** on me. We set up some weights in my backyard, topless in this weather, real man **** here son, no time for pussy assed health spas, i schooled his ass, should have seen his eyes, couldnyt believe the kinda sh21t i was lifting.
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10-04-2006, 05:40 AM #22Registered User
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What do you get when you have unprotected sex with a street hooker?
AIDS
Did you hear about the guy who drove real fast without a seat belt?
He hit a garbage truck and splattered his head on the windsheild
What do you call a guy who has sex with kids?
A child molester
What do you call it when someone wipes out an entire race of people?
Genocide
A man walks into a bar
Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fastLast edited by Contract Killer; 10-04-2006 at 05:44 AM.
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10-04-2006, 05:43 AM #23Klaus
- Join Date: Aug 2006
- Location: United Kingdom
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Lolz!!!!!^
Not only are my muscles big but they've got more layers of fibras n **** than other peoples. Just the other day my man J-Bomb thought he was cokcy **** since hes pretty damn jacked too put he aint got **** on me. We set up some weights in my backyard, topless in this weather, real man **** here son, no time for pussy assed health spas, i schooled his ass, should have seen his eyes, couldnyt believe the kinda sh21t i was lifting.
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10-04-2006, 05:47 AM #24Banned
- Join Date: Apr 2005
- Location: Beloit, WI
- Age: 36
- Posts: 1,703
- Rep Power: 0
This stuff is hilarious! Its so stupid but funny because its so random...haha...post more....reps to thread starter
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10-04-2006, 05:55 AM #25Banned
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LOL. thse are brilliant
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10-04-2006, 06:17 AM #26*Random Post Generator*
- Join Date: Sep 2005
- Location: AZ
- Posts: 344
- Rep Power: 338
What did the schizophrenic clown eat for breakfast?
Fruit loops.
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What did the gay guy say to the horse?
HAY.
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A blind man was walking through the park sometime early in the morning. A dog walked over and peed on his leg.
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A mom and a dad were having sex. With their daughter. THE ARISTOCRATS.
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Four boxers hit the showers. Repeatedly.
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What do you get when you cross a Jew and a Nazi?
A Jewish Nazi.
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10-04-2006, 06:27 AM #27
Whats Orange, round and tastes sweet... an easter egg wrapped in orange paper
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10-04-2006, 06:35 AM #28Registered User
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What's big and black and has a bunch of white teeth?
A big black guy who just went to the dentist.
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10-04-2006, 06:38 AM #29Banned
- Join Date: Apr 2005
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Shizzle!Originally Posted by Contract Killer
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10-04-2006, 06:39 AM #30
A priest, a rabbi, and mohammed walk into a bar, then a suicide bomber drives in and kills everyone.
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