What is wrong with me?

[Driven20]

For a few months I have'nt felt like my self. I've had the worst case of negative body image in years. I have been battling depression for a while now, this is not normal of me. I've even contemplated suicide for a bit now. Usually I am the happiest person.
I am in terrible shape as well. A few months ago I was 235 @ 14 % bodyfat, my maintenance calories were around 3500. Nowadays I'm eating 2000 calories a day and doing cardio and cannot lose any fat whatsoever. I've dropped my calories as low as 1800 on some days, I have definately lost weight, but its has been all muscle/water. I'm doing everything right yet everything is coming out wrong. I weigh 210 lbs right now, yet my bodyfat is a pathetic 17%. All the weight I have dieted and ran off was muscle, somehting is not right.
I went to the doctor to get my hormones checked and everythign appears to be fine the doctor says. Maybe it is bigger thna just my hormone levels? Can there be something wrong with my pituitary, yet my hormones come out looking fine in a test?
I would greatly appreciate anybodys help right now.

[lamchopthis]

dude, losing weight takes time. what's your diet like? can you post?

[Staberella]

In your posts there is no mention of weight lifting, only cardio. That might be your problem. How is your body going to build or maintain muscle if you're not stimulating the muscle fibers? Also could you post your daily diet?

One other thing, don't even think about suicide, that's stupid talk.

[Driven20]

I just thought you'd automatically assume I've been lifting. You never get to be 235 @ 14% without it really. Yes I lift, and I have been dieting for 3 months now. I am aware it does not happen over night. I have studied bodybuilding and biochemistry for over 1500 hours in the course of 5 years so I am very well versed in this area. Something is not right with me. I am very emotional and irritable over nothing. I just broke out into tears 5 minutes ago. And just typing about it makes me want to repeat it.

[Staberella]

Well, what's your diet like? Also if your workouts and diet are in order and you want an extra boost you might want to look into some fat burners.

[Decosta]

When would you want to use fat burners, and what sort?

[Staberella]

When would you want to use fat burners, and what sort?

I use yohimbe since it's good for combatting estrogenic fat. You could use fatburners at any time.

[Driven20]

Thanks for hijacking the thread bud. My diet is about 50% pro, 30% carb and 20% fat. Based on 1800 cals that works out to; 225 g pro, 135g carbs, 40g fat. All my carbs are complex. Protein comes from chicken,lean meat, turkey, cottage cheese, tuna. Most of my fat comes from almonds, olive oil, and cashews. My diet is perfect. I don't really cheat at all. I'm like a machine when it comes to what goes in my mouth. I have no emotional attachment to food at all. So what is happening? Something is not right, but everyone thinks its something I'm doing that is wrong, incorrect, everything is in place.

[numinix]

Perhaps your depression is coming from other areas of your life. Everyone reacts to hormonal changes differently and it is very common to go through a depressive phase in the late teens post puberty.

If you are contemplating suicide I suggest you get a doctor's referral to a pyschologist as this is serious and beyond the scope of random people on a forum about bodybuilding.

[cotterpin]

If you are having suicidal thoughts and are that depressed that you feel you may try something, run, do not walk, to the local emergency room. Call your doctor, call the suicide hotline, but don't do ANYTHING until you talk to someone.

[cawiau]

If you are having suicidal thoughts and are that depressed that you feel you may try something, run, do not walk, to the local emergency room. Call your doctor, call the suicide hotline, but don't do ANYTHING until you talk to someone.

LMAO...

[cawiau]

Now on a more serious side , I believe you are taking this a little bit to seriously.

My opinion, you need to take a brake from it all. The lkifting weights, the diet.
Take a week off, refresh your mind, stay cool
Ok, you have not seen changes in a while?Ok.
Look at your diet, you workout and changed it a little.
Try something new. Pick up a new hubby or something

Also I realise that you are on the defensive. You came here asking for help and that it all we are giving you. Either you accepty our help or walk away...

I think you really need a brake from all this and relax.
You are only 19, to young to be burned out.
Leave that for your midlife crisis.

[Staberella]

Thanks for hijacking the thread bud. My diet is about 50% pro, 30% carb and 20% fat. Based on 1800 cals that works out to; 225 g pro, 135g carbs, 40g fat. All my carbs are complex. Protein comes from chicken,lean meat, turkey, cottage cheese, tuna. Most of my fat comes from almonds, olive oil, and cashews. My diet is perfect. I don't really cheat at all. I'm like a machine when it comes to what goes in my mouth. I have no emotional attachment to food at all. So what is happening? Something is not right, but everyone thinks its something I'm doing that is wrong, incorrect, everything is in place.

It sounds like your calories are too low. I eat anywhere from 1500 to 1800 calories a day and I'm a 5' 4" 118 pound female and even I'm losing on that amount. If you're losing too much LBM it's because your calories are too low and your body is in starvation mode and catabolizing your muscles. Excessive cardio will do that too.

[Decosta]

Plus I didn't mean to hijack, it was just a natural question to an answer that was given to you. It might have been benefical for you, but I was mistaken.

Like cawiau said, you do seem to be on the defense, so it sounds like you need to sort out other problems or at least talk to someone.

[cawiau]

It sounds like your calories are too low. I eat anywhere from 1500 to 1800 calories a day and I'm a 5' 4" 118 pound female and even I'm losing on that amount. If you're losing too much LBM it's because your calories are too low and your body is in starvation mode and catabolizing your muscles. Excessive cardio will do that too.

Listen to her she knows her stuff....

And to add, your maintenance calorie is 3500, and you only taking in 1800...
For someone that says that they studied bodybuilding and nutrion for 5 years you seems to be off to a wrong start.
And off course you are loosing muscle and water and not fat because your body is in starvation. The recomment amoun is 500 to deduct from your maintenance. You decuct 1500 to 1700...more than three times the recommend amount

Come on, get your act together before you damge yourself

[Rocksmtu]

If you are looking for something to take perhaps increasing your intake of natural sea salt, such as Celtic Salt, might help.

Here is a link describing some of its bennifits.
http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/nutrition/salt.htm

I have notice that my mood has started to change since I started using it. I actually take 1 tbs a day plus what ever else I use through out the day on food.

I havent noticed any adverse reactions such has increased blood pressure. Instead my cardio induced leg cramps have gone away and I feel great. Even though I am consuming large amounts of salt I dont really have a water retention problem either.

Food for thought.

[Jinsthao]

You said that youre maintenance calorie while at 235 was around 3500 cals. The you said the you started dieting with your cals a 2000 cals......that was too big of a dip. You should have started off with around 3000 then gradually make adjustments. With a 1500 cals deficit and also cardio........you were forcing your body into starvation mode. This was the cause of you losing a lot of muscle as opposed to fat. When dieting figure out your maintenance cals then subtract it by 500, you pretty much went overboard when trying to lose the fat to quickly. Fat loss takes time!!!

[Driven20]

I didn't just jump into 1800 calories. I started out dieting around 3000. Week after week, my would-have-been sponsor was checking my bodyfat and nothing. So every two weeks I dropped cals by about 150 off my daily intake, according to his recommendations (hes a pro bodybuilder). And week after week I have been going into his office at the same bodyfat. It got so bad that now he dosen't even check the 8 points anymore. He just checks my abs and they measure 25%. He thinks I'm a joke. I just misse dout on a big opportunity for my own financial growth as well. I'm getting my ISSA personal trainer certification within a couple of weeks here and will be wokring as a PT to get me through college. Well being a sponsored athlete and bodybuilding champion would do wonders for my populairty as a PT. It would be easy to get my name out there and recruit clients.
Yet I have missed out on this opportunity, the guy (dont wanna mention his name), now does not take me seriously. He thinks I'm not following his diet (I/E eating more, cheating etc etc). If he only knew that I'm eating 1800 cals and on some days wokring out twice a day. Just so you guys know I did take the week off of the gym due to a strain in the lower back, and my knees are giving out on me.
I wish I could pick up another hobby, something that is more rewarding to those who put the real work into it. See the thing about bodybuilding is unless you have the genetics for it, all it is is hard work and frustration for little in return. I cant even stand my friends around me anymore, they always rub it in how they can gain so easily and eat crap all day. I'm venting at this point, but thank you all for being here with me. All I really want is someone to talk to who can understand me, I tried to talk to my brother and burst in tears today and he started laughing at me. Keep in mind I am 19 and he is 22, he should be ashamed of his immaturity.

[cotterpin]

It may or may not be immaturity driven.

I tend to laugh at inappropriate times, but it's because I don't know how to deal with them. I've laughed at funerals, for some it's a nervous reaction. It could be that he understands but doesn't know how to deal, or he could just be an arsehole..

[Driven20]

Trust me hes an *******. He talks down to me all the time, and when I dont accept it he makes me think I am wrong. When I show my pride he tells me I am cocky. It's not that I am cocky, its that I respect myself too ***DAMN much to accept second-class behavior.

[cotterpin]

OK, so he's an arsehole.

Don't talk to him about things anymore then. Spend as little time with him as humanly possible, you don't need that crap

[cawiau]

I agree with cotterpin, his in ass

Not let's forget about him and concentrate on you.

My first recommendation would be that you took the wrong approcah to bodybuilding. You saw it at a fiancial opportunity that you had to get, which my good but also but more stress on you that you needed.

My belief is that something that you are going to invest yourself in you need to love doing it. You need to wake up in the morning and all you want to do is go to the gym. All you need to think about is how you really going to hit that body part.

What I realise for you, you are missing that pation, and the fact that you did not get the results that you wanted made you even more bitter. A doctor once told me that he was never as bright as he's other classmates but you know what he practices and studied so he could get as good as them.

Yes some other people might have the genetics to make them get there faster than you but if you really love bodybuilding, if that is what you want is that what you love you will stick to it and you will be great at it. You will have the body that other people envy.

Do this first for you and the promtion and deals will come.
Take care of you first than the rest will come.
You want to be the best you can but knowing you kicked you ass to get there and knowing you let nothing stoped you.

That would be my suggestion to you.

Get back and that gym and work your ass of. not for anyone, but for you.
Eat your meals, and I would suggest 3000 calories
Do what you got to do, but do it for you in moderation.
Than we you are happy with yourself, when you have reach your ultimate goal than worry about the promotions, contract deals and all.
\
If you really passionate about this you will attain your goals.
Might take you longer than others, but you will get there.
Remember that.

[Amris]

Undereating + Overtraining = feel like ****

Why the surprise when you get what you can fully expect?

Cardio should be 3 x per week, at 30 minutes each time.

You should not work out every single day. Bodies need rest, they need exercise, and they need food.

I can't believe someone who supposedly knows what they are doing has you on a TWO THOUSAND CALORIE DIET. Tell that bastard to put his crack pipe the f*** down.

Get yourself back up to a 3000 calorie diet. Do it reasonably slowly, but do it.

Anyone telling you to go from a 3500 MAINTENANCE to an 1800 cal diet is off his f***ing noodle insane. That's below your BMR, I'd put money on it.

Your body will ALWAYS eat your gains when you cut it too far. ALWAYS.

I'm just astounded that some jackass actually, seriously told you to go all the way down to less than 2k calories. I'd fall out of my chair if it weren't too damned hard to get back up again.

Of course you feel like complete ****. Of course your mood is horrible. Your body is exhausted. It's overworked, underfed, and worn the hell out.

Take a week off COMPLETELY. During that time, increase your calories. Make 3k your goal.

I mean that, SERIOUSLY, you need a week off from working out. Take walks, leisurely walks, OUT DOORS, and that's ALL, for a WEEK (no less, don't you dare cheat).

If you're not feeling better, TAKE ANOTHER WEEK.

Your poor body. You're just damned lucky it's only rebelling this much from the torture you're doing to it. You need a break- but more importantly, your body does.

If you don't, then you will seriously cause yourself more harm.

And don't listen to the f*cktard that told you to go down to 1800 calories any more. Don't talk with your brother. Don't work out for a week.

LET YOUR BODY REST. Stop starving yourself! Quit overtraining! All that cardio is just retarded. And a body builder told you to do this ****. Un-freakin-believable.

[DarinK]

I'm not even gonna comment on the diet / workout thing because that is not the priority. The priority is your going to a doctor asap to discuss any suicidal thoughts you may be having. Do that first, then worry about training.

[Driven20]

I guess I should have included this. My maintenance WAS 3500. Until one week where I ate like that and gained 8 lbs of fat? Then I had to start dieting it down. I can put money that my maintenance is not 3500 now. It is much lower now. Yes I guess 1800 is overkill. I dont know what to think, I mean sometimes I try to justify it by the fact that I'm mostly endomorph, and maybe now that I'm older my metabolism is slower. Please give me your opinion on this. One of the few thinggs which are keeping me alive is the fact that I havent touched juice yet. Sometimes I think, "Die, ****, I havent even tried juicing yet." I'm thinking of doing Anavar to get back on track, what do you guys think? I know Im 19 years old, but Anavar is the safest compound available. I've done extensive research on it.
Oh and to the guy who wants to discredit my 5 years of study/research in respects to bodybuilding. Well lets just say I took his word for it because he's a pro bodybuilder. But the fact of the matter is, he's just a stupid son of a bitch with good genes and an even better steroid supplier I guess. I always questioned him, "Don't you think that is too little food for me?". He always disagreed. Now I'm down a good 20 lbs of muscle and my motivation to do ANYTHING is gone.

[Driven20]

Another note, I dont workout every single day. That is a sure way to overtrain. I train 4 days a week. 2-a-days on Monday and Friday. 30 min cardio after each workout.

[cotterpin]

IMO you got there natural before, you can do it again.

Listening to advice you know is wrong, now you know the consequences. Work hard at rebuilding and you'll get there in no time

[skelooth]

topic poster....

For the love of god take a week off from lifting and cardio, and go out and get pizza or something. It's all in your head. You're making yourself nutty over something stupid. You might not think it's stupid right now, but it is.

You are most likely over trained because you're using your self image as a scapegoat to much larger problems in your life.

[skelooth]

I know Im 19 years old, but Anavar is the safest compound available. I've done extensive research on it.

WRONG REASONS TO DO GEAR. First off, do NOT do an anavar only cycle. You think you're depressed now? Wait until your nuts are shut down and you have no test in your system. Think you're depressed now? Wait until PCT when you have no natural test OR var in your system.

DO NOT DO GEAR UNLESS you are a competitive lifter, or have brought your body to it's genetic potential's boundries.

Also, Var is not going to make you lose fat bro.

And no, you did not research Var properly. Go take a look at the Steroid board, but don't post, you're not old enough to post in there.

[Driven20]

Are you psychic Skelooth? Anavar, chemical name Oxandrolone, has been proven in several studies to reduce visceral abdmonimal fat. When ending an anabolic steroid cycle, you use a compound called Clomid, Clomiphene Citrate. Clomid acts as a synthetic estrogen, without the side effects. Your body notices this elevated estrogen level and quickly raises your natural testosterone in an effort to achieve homeostasis, balance of the body.
No, Anavar alone will not make me lose fat. Anavar will act as an anti-catabolic while I'm dieting. Decreasing your calories puts your body in a catabolic state, the breaking down of larger complex molecules to simpler ones. In bodybuilding, catabolism is more known to relate to the loss of muscle. Therefore when Anavar is said to be an anti-catabolic, it means it will help hold on to your muscle while you are dieting. This allows me to take a more aggressive approach to dieting, thus burning fat more quickly while holding on to muscle, and getting stronger to top it off.
Due to the highly anabolic/non-androgenic nature of Oxandrolone, you keep most of your gains. The strength increase is the result of increased tendon and ligament strength, as well as increased phosphocreatine synthesis in the muscle (this is why creatine works so well with Oxandrolone). Skelooth says that I will be depressed when I get off and lose everything, I've read several cycle logs of Anavar, and people keep a good 90% of strength. Besides, who cycles off without Clomid?
Another thing I'd like to add is that my brother recently had problems with his Test levels. He was abusing Superdrol I guess you can say, when he got off he went to the doctor and she told him his test levels were those of an 80 year old man. Within 2 weeks of Clomid his test rebounded to 882 ng/dl. Those are pretty decent. What I'm saying is that maybe if I gave my natural T a hit, and then got on Clomid maybe it will come back. You can compare what I'm saying to restarting a computer when it's working slow or a certain program is giving you a blue screen. You restart it and plenty of times the problem is no longer there. I've done searches at PubMed where people got on Synthetic Test for a while due to low natural levels then get off and have their natural levels come back.