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  1. #1
    The D Agostage's Avatar
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    Nobody Really Gets It

    As a competitive bodybuilder do you ever feel like nobody around you really understands what youíre doing? I find so often that I feel like I have no one to talk to, present company excluded of course. My roommates persist in asking me to go out every night, ďfellas, I canít Iím training.Ē I was explaining to my girlfriend the other day why Iíve been so uptight lately. Bodybuilding, unlike most sports I can think of, is a 24/7 commitment. As soon as you wake up itís on you mind as you make a shake or measure your eggs, whatever, until the night when you tally up your calories burnt and calories consumed. There are no breaks, even cheating is scheduled. It seems to be a very internal sport, with little support and understanding from those around you. When I say that I will be competing in October I often get asked if I have to lift weights on stage...What?! I feel like I want to slap the bastard! But of course bodybuilding is not mainstream. Iím still pretty green as far as competing goes, but it really does take a certain kind of person to become not just a weightlifter, but a bodybuilder. I think only you guys really understand that. Iím off to make a shake.
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  2. #2
    Broscience > Studies Al Shades's Avatar
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    Why do you have to get on a stage in order to formally "compete"? Can't you compete against the people you see everyday, in the gym and out? Can't you assess your own strong and weak points, rather than paying someone to do it for you?

    You should send me some money. I'll judge and give you a ranking. That's what you want, apparently.

  3. #3
    Registered User JoelsRipped's Avatar
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    Brotha i totally understand, but when i people ask me why do you eat like that, i just say im gettin ready for a show, not that im a "bodybuilder" becuase i feel like bodybuilders are stereotyped, "the kid that goes into the gym, curls 50 lb dubmells for 3 reps, walkrs out of the gym and walks around like he's hot ****" But prep for a contest is like 24/7 PMS for 13 weeks, im constantly up tight about everything, its pretty funny actually, when i dont get a meal in im pissed and everyone knows it. Like tonight i had to go to driving school for a ticket and it was 4 hours, it said no breaks will be allowed, i started to freak out, didnt make a meal becuase whats the point, when i got there they told us we could have 3 10 minute breaks. I called the girlfriend up and she brought me up two meals. You really gotta find people that are willing to support you and help you out with whatever you need. And goin out isnt that big of a deal, you feel so much better about yourself when you stay in and get your two or three meals in that you would miss. You defintly need to have the personality in order to compete. Its all mental, slightly physical IMO. If ya ever need to talk about lifting, competing, life just AIM me at - Joelsripped

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  4. #4
    Registered User -zer0-'s Avatar
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    I know exactly what you mean and can relate. Those people don't know what pure dedication is. It's best not to share anything related about your body building lifestyle to them, because in their point of view it doesn't seem significant. When my friends see me chugging down a protein shake, they ask me a couple of questions and why, and some of them are quite stupid. I just tell them it tastes good, then discontinue the conversation on the subject. And some ask why I bodybuild so intensily. I just tell them its a hobby and like the feeling I get after a workout. Why share something with someone that's not interested. Filling their ignorance about body building is not going to change much nor is it any beneficial to you. Just go on about your bb lifestyle and don't take what others say seriously, since that person is just ignorant and can't see in your point of view.

  5. #5
    The D Agostage's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Al Shades
    Why do you have to get on a stage in order to formally "compete"? Can't you compete against the people you see everyday, in the gym and out? Can't you assess your own strong and weak points, rather than paying someone to do it for you?

    You should send me some money. I'll judge and give you a ranking. That's what you want, apparently.
    Sorry if I offended you, didn't mean to.
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    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=131369463

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  6. #6
    me > you kimsquit's Avatar
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    bump to Joels & zer0's post - I think they put it very well.

    I also think that because so many people know that they are inherently lazy, they get defensive when they see someone consistently demonstrating the self-discipline required for competitive bodybuilding. Although it totally isn't your intention, other people may see what your doing as some sort of judgement on them...at least that's been my experience.

    I tune out most of the comments however it gets to be more of a challenge when it's the people close to you.

    I've learned to just be up front with friends and family right off the bat and say "I'm preparing for a competition and that's my only priority. Once my comp is done, I'll have all sorts of time to socialize or to spend time with you (if it's a g/friend) but for the time being, my only focus is my diet & training and I will eliminate anything in my life that conflicts with that"

    the only exceptions to that rule are my kids.

    LOL at the "lifting on stage" question - I've gotten that one too. The really annoying comment related to that is "it's not like you're lifting weights to get strong, you're only trying to look good for the stage"
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  7. #7
    Registered User please_diet's Avatar
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    Feelin' the love

    Dude,

    You took the words right out of my head. It's actually a relief that more people have the same issues. My first competition is coming up shortly and I have had people at work ask if I'm feeling ill or if I'm eating or ask why I'm loosing so much weight. I actually had a couple people ask me "Aren't you supposed to bulk up for those things?" Holy crap I wish they had a clue. It's funny though how your response is always based on how far away you are from your next meal. I actually told a couple people I had a tape worm. I am learning to respond so as few questions are asked as possible. A buddy of mine told me I am starting to look like skeletor (in the face). Yeah, he's not too familiar with the gym.

    J

  8. #8
    Banned Vadim Beliaev's Avatar
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    This is what makes bodybuilding a lifestyle, and makes us all understand each other pretty well. IMO, its a good thing.

  9. #9
    Registered User XTRMEWJ's Avatar
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    You have to grow to love this part of the sport. If you are constantly being put on the defensive all that does is make you ultimately question what you are doing. I think this is a big reason that our sport is not mainstream. Society loves watching and rooting for a great champion, but society is too lazy to walk in our shoes for a week, not to mention 365 days a year. Our sport is simply too demanding for most. Given the way I think personally, thats perfect for me because I know I found the right sport.

    As a competitor, I embrace the lifestyle as a whole. The training, the diet (pre and post contest), the prep, everything. We make incredible sacrifices for this sport and many do not even pretend to understand why...and thats fine with me. I have said it a million times before...this sport is not for everyone.

    I try to have patience with everyone. Some ask legit questions about the sport, and I am happy to introduce them to bodybuilding. Others try to piss you off because they think its funny. I let them have a laugh at my expense...because at the end of the day, we are the ones laughing at their envious stares. It must really suck for them to fall off the fitness wagon(like so many do) and then think about guys like us...who are still in the gym, growing and improving. Putting more distance between ourselves and the rest of society. But then again, we all make our own choices and if they are happy with being out of shape so be it. To each his own.

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  10. #10
    Registered User -zer0-'s Avatar
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    I also think that because so many people know that they are inherently lazy, they get defensive when they see someone consistently demonstrating the self-discipline required for competitive bodybuilding. Although it totally isn't your intention, other people may see what your doing as some sort of judgement on them...at least that's been my experience.


    Very true.
    People also get very insecure when they see someone absolutely dedicated to something. You can basically call it jealousy. And when that insecurity kicks in, the person makes stupid and ignorant comments and tries to put the dedicated person down. An example would be when a person claims another bb is using steroids because they are big. Because they don't have the dedication and persistant to become like that, they think everyone else can't as well, unless you 'cheat' with roids. It keeps them in a comfortable and secure zone in conformity.
    The best thing to do is ignore these people; they're almost pityful.

  11. #11
    Registered User XTRMEWJ's Avatar
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    Talk about timing. So I got into this very same conversation tonight with a female friend of mine. We were discussing why I am single at the moment. She told me I need to, and I qoute "need to loosen up your lifestyle". If that does not sum up the whole post, I don't know what does.

    She is a friend and a sweetheart of a girl, but she, like most others, simply does not understand what it is we do. If I take that advice, I compromise everything. I was not given the best genetics and as such if I want to get everything I can out of this sport, I need to be prepared to outwork the competition...and that means out-sacrifice the competition as well. I am perfectly prepared to do that. Call it obsession or dedication. Its all semantics to me.

    And that my friends is why I am single... because it takes a very certain kind of female to understand guys like us and they are few and far between. That said, my dedication to our sport goes far beyond my need to date any girl that is not supportive or can not understand. It all goes back to the fact that bodybuilding is a lifestyle, not a sport. The day of the show is almost an after-thought.

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  12. #12
    Registered User MissMegan1's Avatar
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    And for the ladies ...

    ... it's the same thing. Figure, fitness, BB ... I think this is a great thing you bring to the table here Ago b/c it's a huge issue for a lot of us (nobody understanding)! If I hear one more comment about the "weird food" I bring to my office ...

    My husband loves the end result (!) but doesn't quite "get" why we can't go out to dinner "just once" or why I don't want to go to a party, etc.

    *sigh*

    Anyway thanx for venting 'cuz I think it enables the rest of us to do it too!!

  13. #13
    NGA Pro Bodybuilder semper27's Avatar
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    Just what I needed

    I woke up this morning and ventured out to a local convenient store a few min. after rolling out of bed. I'm in between a carb refeed and totally depleted. The first thing that a lady that works there, that is a fairly hefty specimen, said to me was.... "My, you are getting really skinny." What a way to start my day off !!!

    The general population has not a single clue about "our" sport. They have no idea how many hours, how much effort, how much sweat, nor the time, sacrifice, self discipline, and the sacrifices that we choose to go through.

    I'm sure when most people open there mouths and say something that we interpret to be negative, they really don't intend to be mean....they just are ignorant about bodybuilding/fitness. If people would think before they speak, it would be a perfect world.....lol

    I just take it with a grain of salt and use their negative comments to drive me forward.
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  14. #14
    Knee deep in oats image101's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=semper27]I woke up this morning and ventured out to a local convenient store a few min. after rolling out of bed. I'm in between a carb refeed and totally depleted. The first thing that a lady that works there, that is a fairly hefty specimen, said to me was.... "My, you are getting really skinny." What a way to start my day off !!! [QUOTE]

    I feel you, man. Carb depletion sucks; as if you aren't already self concious about looking so damn flat/stringy/weak as it is, having someone mention it makes it worse.

  15. #15
    me > you kimsquit's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by XTRMEWJ
    And that my friends is why I am single... because it takes a very certain kind of female to understand guys like us and they are few and far between. That said, my dedication to our sport goes far beyond my need to date any girl that is not supportive or can not understand. It all goes back to the fact that bodybuilding is a lifestyle, not a sport. The day of the show is almost an after-thought.
    Spot on, Sean, that was very well put.

    As a single guy, what I find particularly frustrating is when I meet a girl I tell them: "nothing is coming between me and this competition" but what they all seem to hear is: "nothing is coming between me and this competition except for you".

    So inevitiably they get pouty because my world isn't revolving around them during my contest prep phase. With carb depletion, unhealthily low levels of bodyfat and daily cardio, the last thing I have time or energy for is to discuss "our relationship".

    I imagine the competitive women feel the same way.

    [/rant]
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    The D Agostage's Avatar
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    Talking

    I knew you all would understand, thanks for sharing your stories and showing that we're not alone
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  17. #17
    nom nom nom deserusan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Agostage
    As a competitive bodybuilder do you ever feel like nobody around you really understands what youíre doing? I find so often that I feel like I have no one to talk to, present company excluded of course. My roommates persist in asking me to go out every night, ďfellas, I canít Iím training.Ē I was explaining to my girlfriend the other day why Iíve been so uptight lately. Bodybuilding, unlike most sports I can think of, is a 24/7 commitment. As soon as you wake up itís on you mind as you make a shake or measure your eggs, whatever, until the night when you tally up your calories burnt and calories consumed. There are no breaks, even cheating is scheduled. It seems to be a very internal sport, with little support and understanding from those around you. When I say that I will be competing in October I often get asked if I have to lift weights on stage...What?! I feel like I want to slap the bastard! But of course bodybuilding is not mainstream. Iím still pretty green as far as competing goes, but it really does take a certain kind of person to become not just a weightlifter, but a bodybuilder. I think only you guys really understand that. Iím off to make a shake.
    I totally know where you are coming from. BTW- where do you train at? I'm over at Capital Fitness.
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  18. #18
    Registered User chimpilico's Avatar
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    Lol this reminds of this one time my friend walked into a tanning parlor (and he's a big guy) and the chick behind the counter goes, "Are you a bodybuilder?" Mike goes, "yea" Then she says, "Wouldn't you look better if you were cut?". This was Mike's off-season so he had to explain the whole damn process lol. Also the guys that say, "Well I'm not taking creatine or protein because I want to be all "natural"". At first I found that funny, now it just pisses me off.
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  19. #19
    The D Agostage's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by deserusan
    I totally know where you are coming from. BTW- where do you train at? I'm over at Capital Fitness.
    Hey wat up, I train at the University facilities, i.e. Nat, Serf & Shell, usually the Nat. I cannot afford a membership anywhere else, not on a student salary anyway.
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  20. #20
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    Originally Posted by chimpilico
    Lol this reminds of this one time my friend walked into a tanning parlor (and he's a big guy) and the chick behind the counter goes, "Are you a bodybuilder?" Mike goes, "yea" Then she says, "Wouldn't you look better if you were cut?". This was Mike's off-season so he had to explain the whole damn process lol. Also the guys that say, "Well I'm not taking creatine or protein because I want to be all "natural"". At first I found that funny, now it just pisses me off.
    Yea bro I know what you mean. People from school sees my pics of my competition time and then when its off season for me they will lift up my shirt and crap and be like "see I knew you photoshopped your pictures!!! where is your abs!!!!"

  21. #21
    nom nom nom deserusan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Agostage
    Hey wat up, I train at the University facilities, i.e. Nat, Serf & Shell, usually the Nat. I cannot afford a membership anywhere else, not on a student salary anyway.

    That's cool man. I live two blocks from SERF on Dayton. I just finished grad school so I know what you are talking about.
    "I just use my muscles as a conversation piece, like someone walking a cheetah down 42nd Street." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

    Heretic....

  22. #22
    has a wealth of knowledge BB is 4 life :)'s Avatar
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    Bro you certainly aint alone, im currently getting ready for the EFBB british championships being held on the 8th october......and ive got a girl that i had around for a while constantly asking me to go out for a drink and ****...the other day she asked me to go to a fukkin house party with her!!!

    She wouldnt stop doing it so now i dont speak to her hahaha, she txts me it gets ignored, and i dont answer my fone to her!

    Other people at work ask me on a daily basis everytime im eating on my break or my lunch " do you eat the same thing everyday!???!"....my reply obviously is always " yes i do!" and then the next day the same person will ask me the same question....

    Other favourite repeated questions are....

    1.) Whens your contest
    2.) Are you still dieting
    3.) Have you done your contest yet
    4.) Do you like bodybuilding??!!
    5.) What are you going to weigh when your ready???
    6.) Is it hard???

    These are daily.....and each day they become more annoying, ive seen a bodybuilding T you can buy, has " F uck off im on a diet" written across the front of it haha

  23. #23
    Food?? WHERE!!?!?! ChrystalR's Avatar
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    As a female I don't mind the questions so much as the rude comments or just flat out ignorant statements that some people make. The other day a co-worker, who knows I'm competing and 2 weeks out, tells me I'm crabby and asks me why. I tell him, as nicely as I can during a workout where I've just had to drop my weights almost by half to finish (so I'm not a happy camper not to mention the low-low-low carb thing), that it's due to the carbs and it's really tough for me. "Well I just noticed you're really grouchy lately" and then later "I'm gonna bring you a PB&J sandwich -sheesh, lighten up".

    They don't have to do what we do, they don't even have to like it, all we ask is that they respect the fact that someone else is doing something that they don't consider normal. I don't care if you like it... honestly I don't... and I don't necessarily care if you like me... but tact, among other things, is essential!

  24. #24
    NGA Pro Bodybuilder semper27's Avatar
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    Talking

    Just let them keep eating there ho ho's, zoom zoom's and wham wham's. Just remember that we all belong to a small community and we know the sacrifices that we must endure to get stage ready. Something a very few will ever have the discipline to achieve. Just smile and nod.....
    NGA Pro Bodybuilder

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  25. #25
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    Originally Posted by semper27
    Just let them keep eating there ho ho's, zoom zoom's and wham wham's. Just remember that we all belong to a small community and we know the sacrifices that we must endure to get stage ready. Something a very few will ever have the discipline to achieve. Just smile and nod.....
    right on brother

  26. #26
    Registered User XTRMEWJ's Avatar
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    After reading Crystals post...I am sure its even more difficult for females. Factor the pressure society places on them to look a certain way with what the judges want and that makes for a difficult road. If you are lucky enough to find one that doesnt care what her friends/co-workers think, thats a keeper!

    Just remember, the more fat, overweight and out of shape society gets, the more we become elite athletes. I can live with that.

    Great thread...we all think this **** but rarely speak of it. Venting feels good. LOL

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  27. #27
    Evil Twin #2 jaim91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by XTRMEWJ
    After reading Crystals post...I am sure its even more difficult for females. Factor the pressure society places on them to look a certain way with what the judges want and that makes for a difficult road.
    As a female bodybuilder (more or less, lol) I agree with both. It's so hard to determine what it is the judges want from us. I know I've been penalized for not having enough mass despite cuts and definition. But I've also known girls who have come in last because they were too "massy" and holding too much water. There is such a fine balance for us. In terms of other females being jealous, when people at the gym see a leaned out female getting ready for a contest doing high reps, low weight or cardio they assume we're pushing ourselves too hard, that we have no life, that we have eating disorders or are taking part in a "man's sport"

    I don't know what kind of problems guys encounter, but I can imagine there is also a social stigma there as well. Other guys in your workplace, gym, etc. are jealous, and assume you're on the juice.

  28. #28
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    One of my friends is leaving to the peace corps next week and the last big party for him will be this weekend, a camping trip where we all get wasted a couple of nights and float down a river. I usually go, but this year there'd be no way for me to diet correctly while there, so it's a no go. This doesn't bother me that much, but he and some others almost seem to take offence to it, like I'm saying they're not important enough to me. I sucks more that I know there's no way they'd understand.
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  29. #29
    Broscience > Studies Al Shades's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Agostage
    Sorry if I offended you, didn't mean to.
    I wasn't offended, I was amused. Amused, as I always am, by these bodybuilding stories, which always seem to run, "my life is a living hell, normal people don't understand me, blah blah".

    The fact is, some of you people were either born with or have adopted masochistic mind frames that put you in the same category as BDSM fetishists. "Normal" people may not have the willpower to do what you do, but that doesn't make you any less screwed up.

    There's no reason why you have to practically kill yourself in order to look good. In fact, the process is self-defeating, and it WILL catch up to you eventually, either mentally or physically.

    You're not heroes, more like lunatics. You blindly follow a certain paradigm that was handed down to you by others. Who is forcing you to have an off and on season? Who is forcing you to cut carbs, or water deplete, before competition? Nobody is. You take these things for granted and force yourself to do them because you lack the mental capacity to figure out a better way for yourself.

    If I saw some of you people I would point and laugh, too, and I'm every bit a serious bodybuilder. The difference is, I'm not a masochist. Long ago, I identified enjoyable and maintainable habbits that would contribute to a healthy, fit lifestyle. Because I enjoy these habbits, rather than dreading them, I'm in no danger of "falling off the wagon" -- ever.

    All of you will eventually get tired of your little pain-game and give it up, reverting to a more conventional lifestyle. You'll get soft and your gains will slowly fade away. That won't happen to me, because I took the time to create a bodybuilding regimen that I actually enjoy.

    You really have to be a retard to do some of the things I read about on this site. It's no wonder why people talk and stare. You're not right in the head.
    Last edited by Al Shades; 07-29-2006 at 06:06 PM.

  30. #30
    Goin' Pro! SleepLifter's Avatar
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    wow..someones feeling a little viscous today. haha

    personally i dont feel like this is a pain game. go eat your damn cookie on your bodybuilding regimen that you enjoy...then step onstage next to me.

    There is no substitution for hard work and consistent eating when your getting ready for a show....sometimes sacrifices have to be made...and thats not a problem for me

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