Cheating cholesterol test?

[Zesty]

That's right. I am enlisting the help of all the evil geniuses (and google addicts) on ways to cheat on a test.

The test: Cholesterol.

That's right. I need to cheat on my cholesterol test.
On 24 Dec, I have a physical as required for my application for life insurance. In order to qualify for a lower rate, I need to get my numbers down a bit. I have adjusted my eating habits, am taking fish oil capsules, eating whole wheat, peanut butter, and have upgraded from no-exercise to dismal-amount-of-exercise. Small means of improving the numbers, but probably not enough before my deadline.

So... I call upon you to help me cheat.

Is there a way? Will extending the fasting period before the bloodwork (typically 12hrs) do any good?
Will a strict diet of bran (blegh!) and water for a couple days prior to the test do any good, or cause harm?
Aside from garlic and fish oil supplements, is there anything else that can be taken?
And aside from overall reduction... what will any of the above do to impact my HDL (good) to LDL (bad) ratios, with the goal of increasing HDL and decreasing LDL?

Long term... I need to get the numbers down anyway, so some permanent lifestyle changes will be taking place. But in the short-term, I need to get my total cholesterol down by 40pts and my triglycerides down just a smidgen, in about a week and a half.

Help a brudda out!

[jsk54321]

This will improve your results but technically may not be cheating since it also improves your health:
1. Adhere to the following diet for 4 weeks prior to your test.
2. Limit fat, oil, sugar, jelly, soda, candy, ice cream, dressing, pizza, cheese, white bread, white rice, candy, fried food, eggs, etc....
3. Eat plain oat meal for breakfast and dinner. No added sugar.
4. Eat plenty of vegetables and fruit.
5. Take about 1000mg fish oil daily or every other day.
6. Do aerobic excerise 3-4 times per week.
7. Foods that are ok are egg whites, turkey, chicken, some whole wheat pasta, bread, brown rice.
8. In general, cut back on your food consumption. No OJ, or juice. Water and red-wine (limited) is ok.

In the last week, where you are, you need to get drastic (as if you think the above is not drastic):
1. Oatmeal for breakfast and dinner. No added sugar in the oatmeal.
2. Completely eliminate sugar from your diet.
3. Completely eliminate fat, oil, butter, ice cream, milk from your diet.
4. Drastically reduce carbs.
5. So what can you eat: Oatmeal, fruit, vegetables, chicken, turkey (plain), red kidney beans, peanuts, soybeans, almonds. Overall, eat less than normal.
6. Aerobic excercise every day.

Day before test.
1. Light breakfast of oatmeal.
2. Light lunch of fresh veggies and fruit.
3. No more food after lunch except a grapefruit for dinner.
4. Do an hour of aerobic excercise night before.
5. Go to bed early (since you'll be hating life and want the test to come soon).
6. Oh, all the water you want is ok....

Morning of test.
1. Aerobic excercise hard before the test.
2. No nothing to eat of course.
3. Take test.
4. Eat like a freaking pig.

Good luck. It will work.

[SDC77]

Don't cheat. Square away your diet and lifestyle and actually get your numbers in order. The perfect diet and exercise plan may not be enough if you have a genetic predisposition.

Cheating on your test and not addressing the problem is great news for your potential beneficiary.

[yzrider400f]

This will improve your results but technically may not be cheating since it also improves your health:
1. Adhere to the following diet for 4 weeks prior to your test.
2. Limit fat, oil, sugar, jelly, soda, candy, ice cream, dressing, pizza, cheese, white bread, white rice, candy, fried food, eggs, etc....
3. Eat plain oat meal for breakfast and dinner. No added sugar.
4. Eat plenty of vegetables and fruit.
5. Take about 1000mg fish oil daily or every other day.
6. Do aerobic excerise 3-4 times per week.
7. Foods that are ok are egg whites, turkey, chicken, some whole wheat pasta, bread, brown rice.
8. In general, cut back on your food consumption. No OJ, or juice. Water and red-wine (limited) is ok.

In the last week, where you are, you need to get drastic (as if you think the above is not drastic):
1. Oatmeal for breakfast and dinner. No added sugar in the oatmeal.
2. Completely eliminate sugar from your diet.
3. Completely eliminate fat, oil, butter, ice cream, milk from your diet.
4. Drastically reduce carbs.
5. So what can you eat: Oatmeal, fruit, vegetables, chicken, turkey (plain), red kidney beans, peanuts, soybeans, almonds. Overall, eat less than normal.
6. Aerobic excercise every day.

Day before test.
1. Light breakfast of oatmeal.
2. Light lunch of fresh veggies and fruit.
3. No more food after lunch except a grapefruit for dinner.
4. Do an hour of aerobic excercise night before.
5. Go to bed early (since you'll be hating life and want the test to come soon).
6. Oh, all the water you want is ok....

Morning of test.
1. Aerobic excercise hard before the test.
2. No nothing to eat of course.
3. Take test.
4. Eat like a freaking pig.

Good luck. It will work.

LOL

[Dracoy]

This will improve your results but technically may not be cheating since it also improves your health:
1. Adhere to the following diet for 4 weeks prior to your test.
2. Limit fat, oil, sugar, jelly, soda, candy, ice cream, dressing, pizza, cheese, white bread, white rice, candy, fried food, eggs, etc....
3. Eat plain oat meal for breakfast and dinner. No added sugar.
4. Eat plenty of vegetables and fruit.
5. Take about 1000mg fish oil daily or every other day.
6. Do aerobic excerise 3-4 times per week.
7. Foods that are ok are egg whites, turkey, chicken, some whole wheat pasta, bread, brown rice.
8. In general, cut back on your food consumption. No OJ, or juice. Water and red-wine (limited) is ok.

In the last week, where you are, you need to get drastic (as if you think the above is not drastic):
1. Oatmeal for breakfast and dinner. No added sugar in the oatmeal.
2. Completely eliminate sugar from your diet.
3. Completely eliminate fat, oil, butter, ice cream, milk from your diet.
4. Drastically reduce carbs.
5. So what can you eat: Oatmeal, fruit, vegetables, chicken, turkey (plain), red kidney beans, peanuts, soybeans, almonds. Overall, eat less than normal.
6. Aerobic excercise every day.

Day before test.
1. Light breakfast of oatmeal.
2. Light lunch of fresh veggies and fruit.
3. No more food after lunch except a grapefruit for dinner.
4. Do an hour of aerobic excercise night before.
5. Go to bed early (since you'll be hating life and want the test to come soon).
6. Oh, all the water you want is ok....

Morning of test.
1. Aerobic excercise hard before the test.
2. No nothing to eat of course.
3. Take test.
4. Eat like a freaking pig.

Good luck. It will work.

Haha.

[SDC77]

I guess it helps to read the dates of the posts. We are giving advice on a 2.5 year old thread.

I wonder if this guy took the advice, how he did on the test, and if he's still alive.

[willldabeast]

I guess it helps to read the dates of the posts. We are giving advice on a 2.5 year old thread.

I wonder if this guy took the advice, how he did on the test, and if he's still alive.

hahaha wow, didn't even notice

[bigbadwolfnyc]

I guess it helps to read the dates of the posts. We are giving advice on a 2.5 year old thread.

I wonder if this guy took the advice, how he did on the test, and if he's still alive.

poor guy prop ably died after this 4 weeks....lol

[zac2booya]

Strong 3 year bump

[Jules Verne]

LOL at thread and resurrecting a 2 year old post as one's first post.

Probably good info though.

[boxerrr]

Hello,
I need to get the numbers down anyway, so some permanent lifestyle changes will be taking place. But in the short-term, I need to get my total cholesterol down by 40pts and my triglycerides down just a smidgen, in about a week and a half.


Thanks
____________

[psychodiver9]

Hello,
I need to get the numbers down anyway, so some permanent lifestyle changes will be taking place. But in the short-term, I need to get my total cholesterol down by 40pts and my triglycerides down just a smidgen, in about a week and a half.


Thanks
____________

Solid 3 year bump

[ParsleyTea]

Well, talking of adding a supplement that can help, one of the better ways to raise HDL is taking enough vitamin D3 to reach a testing level between 60 to 70ng/ml. An article about that:

HDL for Dummies
http://www.heartscanblog.org/2008/05...r-dummies.html

One factor that will raise LDL higher is increased blood sugar levels. And whole wheat bread is similar to refined wheat in this manor, they both raise glucose levels about the same from what I've read. Being on a crash coarse to improve cholesterol figures I'd look into fasting and keeping blood sugar levels as low as possible.

http://www.heartscanblog.org/2010/04...bia-novel.html

From the article:

"Carbohydrates increase small LDL particles
Or, in the cholesterol-speak most people understand, "carbohydrates increase cholesterol." It's counterintuitive, but carbohydrates increase LDL substantially, far more than any fat. "