The #1 reason people fail or succeed in weight loss(IMO): Goal Sheet

[lifequest]

Alright so many people would benefit if they would simply write detailed goal sheet. But for some reason almost everyone seems resistant.

“I don’t really care about specific goals, I just wan to lose weight”

“that sounds stupid, I don’t want to do that”

and so forth. But the simple fact of the mater is it works. This is from my journal:

You must have ways of knowing you are succeeding, nothing feels better then accomplished a goal that you worked your ass off to get to. It feeds your ambition and makes you strive for more and more. Just do it, seriously.

So I wrote out a detailed goal sheet with short, mid, and long term goals. I read my goal sheet at least 3 times every day and imagine what it will feel like accomplishing them every time I read them(I think this is what helped the most).I have a problem with motivation. In college I would think I was fat and decide I should work out. I would for a couple week and then get busy lose interest and quit. If you take this part very serious everything becomes easier. It should not be a choice on whether or not you’re going to work out, just as you can’t chose to go to work or school whenever you feel like it one day and not the next. You should need to work out to feel like you have completed your day. Making a good goal sheet will accomplish this, I feel horrible if I miss a workout. I only get to work out a muscle 4 times a month and if I miss one I’m failing, that’s how I look at it.

Some advice:
Use present tense, not future. When you read it as if it’s already happened its easy to visualize and seems more attainable.
Set specific goals
Set measurable goals
Set big goals.
Establish the emotional reasons why you want to achieve your goals.

The last one was huge. Before I started several people were saying things like “Jesus! what happened to you? you have really gotten fat” I wanted to punch them in the face but decided they were right. Also when I got my id badge for work I looked at it compared to my freshman student id where I was 30 lbs lighter and decided things had gotten outa hand. I look at the badge every day and it keeps me motivated, I never want to look like that again. These may be petty, but who cares it was something that fueled my fire and kept me from quitting when I otherwise may have. Be passionate about your goals and you will always succeed.

I also put other goals I wanted to accomplish in my life on my list…I have a long goal list. If you don’t have goals in your life how can you ever expect to accomplish anything?

Some of these goals were accomplished way faster then I thought possible. Things I thought would take a year took only a few months.



Someone pmed me and asked me for some advice. I told them the best thing they could do is come up with a goal sheet, this was their first draft:


i am 176 right now....i know im cut up at 165-166 and i want it before i go back to school...ill start bulking in septemeber
what do you think of the goal sheet???

GOAL SHEET

ALL CARDIO IN THE MORNING EXCEPT LAST WEEK
NO CHEATS AND ONLY CLEAN REFEEDS...NO CHEATS.....NONE! HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT
7/11-20 min a day-6x a week-SCHOOL IS IN 5WEEKS
7/18-21 min and add a minute each day 6x a week..
4 WEEKS LEFT
7/25-26 min a day and add a minute each day 6x a week
3 WEEKS LEFT
8/1- 30 min a day the whole week
2 WEEKS LEFT
8/8-30 min a day and 20 min after lifting
1 WEEK
8/16-YOUR MOVING BACK TO SCHOOL U BETTER BE AT 165 and 8%

I wrote this is reply

GOAL SHEET

You don’t understand, write it in present tence and use vivid words that help you imagine a picture, you should visualize your future self saying these things to you now. Like you in 6 weeks comes back and time and tells you everything they did.

Here’s some tips, re write it and send it back to me, this is SO important, if you actually do this you will become insanely dedicated, I swear it.

Version 2:

ALL CARDIO IN THE MORNING EXCEPT LAST WEEK

I’m going back to school and I’m walking down the streets the first weekend with my shirt off with no shame: here’s why:

I got up every day and beat the hell out of the treadmill. I own that bitch.

I didn’t cheat once, I calculated what I needed to do and followed it exactly, I was smart enough to know when I needed to refeed and I could almost feel my muscle growing when I did a refeed.

I followed this to a T:

7/11-20 min a day-6x a week-SCHOOL IS IN 5WEEKS

7/18-21 min and add a minute each day 6x a week..

4 WEEKS LEFT

7/25-26 min a day and add a minute each day 6x a week

3 WEEKS LEFT

8/1- 30 min a day the whole week

2 WEEKS LEFT

8/8-30 min a day and 20 min after lifting

1 WEEK
8/16-I AM MOVING BACK TO SCHOOL AND I AM AT 165 and 8%


1. I have achieved my maximum genetic potential

2. I beat my mind that tried to stop me

3. I have finally achieved a perfect 6 pack…a life long goal.

4. I did abs twice a week with WEIGHTS NO MATTER HOW TIRED I WAS

5. I am keeping up these lifestyle changes.

6. I always carry my goal card with me at all times and read it as often as possible (at least three times a day).

7. By Christmas when I go to CALIFORNIA I am ecstatic with my new body and look even better than I did in August.

8. I am buying new clothes to show off my new, lean body: nice shoes, nice casual stuff.

9. I am now leaner than I was after every cardio workout

10. IN CALIFORNIA FOR 2.5 WEEKS I STILL WORKED OUT and EAT CORRECTLY BY BRINGING MY OWN FOOD WITH ME and GOING TO GROCERY STORE TO BUY FOOD

11. I look good with my shirt off

12. I took bodybuilding seriously and did an EXTREMELY CLEAN BULK GAINING ONLY 0.5 pound a week THAT STARTED SEPTEMBER 1, 2005

13. I am not lazy and worthless now that I’m back at college I work out just as hard and eat just as well.

14. I eat six, moderately sized meals every day, each with a serving of lean protein and a complex, all natural carbohydrate and I prepare my food in advance every morning.

15. I LIFT MORE WEIGHT EVERY TIME I WORK OUT…EVERY TIME!!

16. JANUARY 1st I STARTED MY CUT

17. ON MARCH 1st I AM THE MOST RIPPED GUY AT SPRING BREAK AND ALL MY BOYS ARE JEALOUS OF ALL THE ATTENTION THAT I AM GETTING

I think that’s a great goal sheet. Doesn’t that invoke all these pictures in your head and makes you want them to be true so bad you would never consider ****ing up, read that 3 times a day and you tell me how you feel about lifting and cardio in a week.

By reading something like that you are able to brainwash yourself into become a lifting, fat burning machine. It’s actually kind of scary. When you used verbiage like that you are telling yourself it is already true. If you read it 3 times a day your mind will want these things to be true and do whatever it takes to make it happen. Writing a goal sheet has really been the biggest life-changing factor I’ve come across. Try it out…I think you’ll agree--LQ

[skelooth]

my goal is to be the same bf% as lifequest, but still have him be barely the size of my leg *giggles* *runs away*

[lifequest]

my goal is to be the same bf% as lifequest, but still have him be barely the size of my leg *giggles* *runs away*

Well actually skel, I bet my legs are bigger then yours since I squat close to twice as much as you

Now arms on the other hand….that’s a whole nother story

When you do get down to 8% you’ll probably be the same weight as me, but you will carry half of it in your arms and I will carry all of it in my legs, ha if we combined your arms with my legs we have one scary MFer

[skelooth]

Well actually skel, I bet my legs are bigger then yours since I squat close to twice as much as you

Now arms on the other hand….that’s a whole nother story

When you do get down to 8% you’ll probably be the same weight as me, but you will carry half of it in your arms and I will carry all of it in my legs, ha if we combined your arms with my legs we have one scary MFer

Ya know, modern science can accomplish some crazy things

My legs are pretty big too, 28". My CNS sucks and I am a complete weakling for my size, though my strength has been shooting up like crazy since bulking.

[lifequest]

AHHHHH!! ::RUNS AWAY IN TERROR:: and I thought my 26 inch wheels were big, that’s crazy how the hell do you find pants that fit those???

I’ve always been pretty strong but lacked huge size. I think I have pretty good CN connections. But my legs have grown 2 inches since may 17th, and arms about ½ inch. I can’t wait to start a serious bulk, come mid august.

[skelooth]

lol i really don't know how or why, but I'm big, and have been getting bigger. My 36" waist work pants are loose on my waist but tight as hell on my 28" thighs and 18.5" calves. Yet I'm a weakling And it's not all fat either, cos fat doesn't jut out on the sides like that lol. You probably curl twice as much as me too

Sometimes I struggle with 'lighter' weights than everyone else at the gym, and I could swear i get some funny looks lol.

[Stand Ablaze]

Goal sheets haven't worked much for me before, because I actually forget to look at them. I'm trying to make a lifestyle out of what I do, rather than having small time goals, I have about one or two small goals I set once I reach the previous ones, and sometimes they might only be 2 week goals, sometimes 2 month goals, and aren't always to do with my weight. I've learned goals don't always go according to plan no matter how hard you try, you might not break through 20lbs in 2 months, you might only lose 10, a lot of my goals have been goals like "Squat x amount of weight 8 times" or "Do x amount of time for cardio", or "Do not drink alcohol for x amount of days", and I usually see them through, The only one I haven't (that I can currently think off) was when I hurt my wrist about a year ago and couldn't see my bicep curl goal through.

Ofcourse though, I do have weight specific goals, but they are all long term goals for now. The #1 reason I see people fail is putting too much emphasis on what they eat. For a month or two they will worry about every drop of sugar, high GI carb, "forbidden" food that they eat by "accident", and then drop out due to the stress of it, it happened to me too, where what I see is really important is the diet for every day, and that is why I'm succeeding in weight loss right now, very well. I'm living life AND losing weight, as a lifestyle, something I can wake up and deal with and have no stress each and every day.

[lifequest]

Awesome post, some comments:

**Goal sheets haven't worked much for me before, because I actually forget to look at them.

Then you never really gave the sheet a chance. There’s no point in making a goal sheet if you don’t read it. By reading it 3 times a day you are reprogramming your brain to reset it’s priorities.

Most of the goals listed above in the example aren’t cut and dry numbers. They are more mental picture

“I look good with my shirt off”

stuff like that. I agree that if you get your mind so set on losing 20 lbs in a month, you may start doing drastic things to meet an unrealistic goal.

Also I agree that diets fail because they are diets. What succeeds are life changes. Establishing healthy habits that you can carry out for the rest of your life is the key to sustained weight loss IMO. I believe a goal sheet is an excellent way to structure these habits. This was my point--LQ

[DJohnson]

Well, I already have a goal sheet that I read that follows your rules, but your post has got me to revamp it. It's been way too long since I've reached a goal and everything is feeling kind of distant, and this has been causing me to slack.

So I'm just gonna make a goal saying that I calipered at 18% (measured 19% again this morning) and go so hardcore this week and every week until I do.

I use an accumeasure and I think my results are screwed by the fact that since it only measures illiac, if I keep my illiac fat and lose fat elsewhere it doesn't register on the caliper.

Anyways, thanks for the post.

[lifequest]

Sure thing man, I also use the accumeasure. But had the opposite problem. I’m reading at like <5mm on the iliac but the fat is much thicker around the bellybutton. I would just use it as a judge of over all fat loss, not an accurate measure of bf%. If it goes down in the same spot then it is going down everywhere else. Glad to hear your updating your goal sheet, lemmi know how it goes.

[DJohnson]

And yeah, I agree about accumeasure not being great at telling you your real bodyfat. I might not be 19% but I'm not that far. I noticed the illiac is much thinner than by the bellybutton too. But yeah, I think I Just need to hit one notch lower to convince myself I can do it again.

I made my new goal sheet and am pretty pumped again. I made a lot a new really specific soon reachable goals like:

27. I deadlifted 300lbs 6 times.

I think once I get used to reaching goals then it'll only push me harder. I also made a goal to make a new, harder, similar goal every time I reach a goal.

Oh, and one thing I just did which I think is a great idea. I set my goals as my browser start page so that it comes up every time I start a new browser window.

In case anyone wants to do this and you're not technically inclined:

1. Write all your goals in a text file and save them as a text file.
2. Open the directory where you can see the text file.
3. Drag the text file into an open browser window.
4. In the browser go Tools > Options > General
5. Click "Use Current Page"

That's for Firefox, but it'll be really similar in Internet Explorer.

Good luck everyone!

[rdryden]

Since I made a goal sheet, I did find that it helped a lot! Way more than I thought it would....

I kind of feel stupid sometimes because I should have known something like this.

I remember you said the you had an interest in psychology before lifequest. I do too. I dated a girl who was a psych major for a while and she totally got me into it. I used my art options to take psych classes and read up on it.
But, I never actually used the things I learned and applied them to my own life... I dont know why. As soon as you said to make a goal sheet, I knew that it would work. In particular, the part about writing your goals in the past tense is really smart.. it helps a lot
Anyway, anyone reading this that is still in doubt: DO IT! Honestly, how much time will it take? 20 min? If you actually read it 3 times a day and do not think it is working in a week then stop. but I guarantee you wont

[DJohnson]

I'd go so far as to say that this is so important it should be made a sticky.

If anyone ever has a problem sleeping in instead of doing cardio or deciding to skip a lifting session. This is your solution, and you can use it for everything in your life, not only weight loss.

[lifequest]

I'd go so far as to say that this is so important it should be made a sticky.

If anyone ever has a problem sleeping in instead of doing cardio or deciding to skip a lifting session. This is your solution, and you can use it for everything in your life, not only weight loss.

Yeah for sure. I’ve gotten up every weekday the last 2 weeks at 5am to work out because it’s the only time I could do it since I’m working 14 hours a day. We’re I not completely dedicated to my goals I definitely would chose to sleep the exstra hour and a half.

[Biff_McFresh]

I agree, motivation is the key, and motivating ones self by any means should be one of your biggest concerns. I carry around a small piece of paper in my wallet with encouraging words for myself "you will run fast and lift hard!", "you will control your eating", "you will go for it", etc etc. It all really helps.

[Ryosuke]

lol i really don't know how or why, but I'm big, and have been getting bigger. My 36" waist work pants are loose on my waist but tight as hell on my 28" thighs and 18.5" calves. Yet I'm a weakling And it's not all fat either, cos fat doesn't jut out on the sides like that lol. You probably curl twice as much as me too

Sometimes I struggle with 'lighter' weights than everyone else at the gym, and I could swear i get some funny looks lol.

Haha, I'm right there with you. I've got 28" thighs myself. I'm very big, but surprisingly weak. I hope my CNS adapts.

To LQ, I totally agree about the importance of a goal sheet. I put about 90 minutes into mine, and it's already paying dividends.

[2BShredded]

Lifequest,

Is it better to make goal sheets that contain short term goals and long term goals together or should they be seperate?

For instance, if my long term goal is in June '06 and my short term goals will vary between bulking and cutting, what is the best way to incoporate these together?

Thanks

[lifequest]

Lifequest,

Is it better to make goal sheets that contain short term goals and long term goals together or should they be seperate?

For instance, if my long term goal is in June '06 and my short term goals will vary between bulking and cutting, what is the best way to incoporate these together?

Thanks

Well there’s 2 ways, I prefer to kind of mix them up so that I read a mixture of long, mid and short term goals so I really get my mind/imagination working. However another way is to go from shortest term to longest term so that you can picture yourself going though each goal to the next. I would say personal preference there but the mixing up has worked well for me. Definitely keep them on the same page and put it in your wallet like mentioned above. Also goals don’t have to only pertain to lifting and eating, put other goals you have for your life in there while your at it.

I think I’ll post my goal sheet up here and more people should do the same. Could be a good way to see how others motivate and ways to improve our own goal sheet.

Mines almost the same as the example above but I have other goals like

1. I am a great friend

2. I am never Selfish

3. I an not Lazy

4. I am smarter then I was yesterday

5. I call my family often

Just things I can always do better at. Later on--LQ

[snissors]

Thanks for the very usable idea, lifequest! 3/4 of the way through reading your initial post on this topic, I was sold. I've got my list written, and I'm excited about it. Just what I needed to get myself to be more consistent. Imagery moves mountains.

[lifequest]

Ha, thanks, can you post whatever you come up with on here?

[meanmo]

Goal sheets haven't worked much for me before, because I actually forget to look at them. I'm trying to make a lifestyle out of what I do, rather than having small time goals, I have about one or two small goals I set once I reach the previous ones, and sometimes they might only be 2 week goals, sometimes 2 month goals, and aren't always to do with my weight. I've learned goals don't always go according to plan no matter how hard you try, you might not break through 20lbs in 2 months, you might only lose 10, a lot of my goals have been goals like "Squat x amount of weight 8 times" or "Do x amount of time for cardio", or "Do not drink alcohol for x amount of days", and I usually see them through, The only one I haven't (that I can currently think off) was when I hurt my wrist about a year ago and couldn't see my bicep curl goal through.

Ofcourse though, I do have weight specific goals, but they are all long term goals for now. The #1 reason I see people fail is putting too much emphasis on what they eat. For a month or two they will worry about every drop of sugar, high GI carb, "forbidden" food that they eat by "accident", and then drop out due to the stress of it, it happened to me too, where what I see is really important is the diet for every day, and that is why I'm succeeding in weight loss right now, very well. I'm living life AND losing weight, as a lifestyle, something I can wake up and deal with and have no stress each and every day.

I keep my goal sheet pinned up next to my bathroom mirror. You also should use visualization and self image modifcation as outlined in BFFM and Psychocybernetics. Sounds goofy, but it works!

[Slimshady01]

Ya know, modern science can accomplish some crazy things

My legs are pretty big too, 28". My CNS sucks and I am a complete weakling for my size, though my strength has been shooting up like crazy since bulking.

The girth of my unit is bigger and thicker then all your legs on this site...HAHAHA

[2BShredded]

OK so I have been working on this goal sheet for a couple of days (wanted to make sure I didn't leave anything out. Lifequest gave me some pointers on a couple of things and now I am ready to share. I hope this helps others come up with ideas for their sheets.

Fitness Goals

I am playing with my daughter, she has so much energy, but I can keep up. We do everything together; I miss nothing. My wife looks on smiling and laughing, looking the happiest she has ever been.

I prepare all of my “during work meals” ahead of time, usually on Sunday. All of my meals contain a lean protein, a complex carbohydrate, and fibrous veggies or fruit. I always enjoy them so much.

I’ve taken on cooking for my family, since I’ve educated myself on preparing healthier alternatives. I am able to provide them with a variety of great healthy meals that we all enjoy. If we go out to eat, we choose restaurants that serve healthy items and I stay within my defined calorie range.

I eat at least 6 meals a day, 8 on lifting days, and record my intake on Fitday.com.

I don’t need to snack, my meals keep me full and my energy up.

I take pictures and measurements on the 1st of every month.

I lift focused and with fury, concentrating on perfect forum using the heaviest weight that I can properly.

I run my ass off at least 3 days a week. I increased my HIIT duration by 1 minute each week until I reached 30 minutes.

I lost my love handles somewhere between the school track and my treadmill.

My vascularity is intense and my definition is impeccable. Damn I look good.

I have a closet and chest of drawers full of new clothes that show off my stunning physique.

I take pride in the fact that I ran the HBAA 5K in 20 minutes and placed in the top five of my age group.

I look over at my wife on vacation and catch her eyeing me. She smiles at me bashfully. She is so proud of me. I look the best I have ever looked, like I belong on the beach and at the pool with my shirt off, making all the other girls jealous of my wife.

I help others get over their fears and reservations of being fat, providing support and information for those who wish to be as dedicated as I am to a healthy lifestyle.

Everyday Goals

I kiss my wife and my daughter and tell them I love them everyday.

I play with my dogs everyday.

I take care of my responsibilities, whatever they happen to be.

Tell me what you think.

[panjt]

OK so I have been working on this goal sheet for a couple of days (wanted to make sure I didn't leave anything out. Lifequest gave me some pointers on a couple of things and now I am ready to share. I hope this helps others come up with ideas for their sheets.

Fitness Goals

I am playing with my daughter, she has so much energy, but I can keep up. We do everything together; I miss nothing. My wife looks on smiling and laughing, looking the happiest she has ever been.

I prepare all of my “during work meals” ahead of time, usually on Sunday. All of my meals contain a lean protein, a complex carbohydrate, and fibrous veggies or fruit. I always enjoy them so much.

I’ve taken on cooking for my family, since I’ve educated myself on preparing healthier alternatives. I am able to provide them with a variety of great healthy meals that we all enjoy. If we go out to eat, we choose restaurants that serve healthy items and I stay within my defined calorie range.

I eat at least 6 meals a day, 8 on lifting days, and record my intake on Fitday.com.

I don’t need to snack, my meals keep me full and my energy up.

I take pictures and measurements on the 1st of every month.

I lift focused and with fury, concentrating on perfect forum using the heaviest weight that I can properly.

I run my ass off at least 3 days a week. I increased my HIIT duration by 1 minute each week until I reached 30 minutes.

I lost my love handles somewhere between the school track and my treadmill.

My vascularity is intense and my definition is impeccable. Damn I look good.

I have a closet and chest of drawers full of new clothes that show off my stunning physique.

I take pride in the fact that I ran the HBAA 5K in 20 minutes and placed in the top five of my age group.

I look over at my wife on vacation and catch her eyeing me. She smiles at me bashfully. She is so proud of me. I look the best I have ever looked, like I belong on the beach and at the pool with my shirt off, making all the other girls jealous of my wife.

I help others get over their fears and reservations of being fat, providing support and information for those who wish to be as dedicated as I am to a healthy lifestyle.

Everyday Goals

I kiss my wife and my daughter and tell them I love them everyday.

I play with my dogs everyday.

I take care of my responsibilities, whatever they happen to be.

Tell me what you think.

Man, this is exellent. you did a good jo describing your goals and what is important tou you. i am sure your wife is already proud of you.

LQ got me on this one, I am going to write agoa sheet myself.

[Badfrog]

Okay LQ, you've been pimp'n this goal sheet enough that I'll give it a shot. The more I think about it the more I like the idea. I'm getting some really good goals/statements in my head so hopefully I can make you proud. I'lllllll be back.

[Stand Ablaze]

I've made my own, they aren't half bad, been reading it about 3 times a day. Well a good thing out of it was that it got me out of the house and down to the gym.

[lifequest]

2B – I really like your goal sheet, each one tells a little story and builds a vivid picture, awesome job

panjt – you better make one if you hope to have a snowballs chance in hell of beating me in September

badfrog – I guess I am pimpin it pretty hard. It just helps so much it annoys me that people don’t do it. I mean can’t you see how when 2B reads that stuff 3 times a day not only will he be a monster in the gym, but also he will be an awesome guy. Although my bitches (goal sheets) do provide very good feelings I do not get nearly the income a pimp does or walk with a purple cane. I’m interested to see what you got working in your mind.

SA- post your goal sheet. Lets see it!!

--LQ

[meanmo]

OK so I have been working on this goal sheet for a couple of days (wanted to make sure I didn't leave anything out. Lifequest gave me some pointers on a couple of things and now I am ready to share. I hope this helps others come up with ideas for their sheets.

Fitness Goals

I am playing with my daughter, she has so much energy, but I can keep up. We do everything together; I miss nothing. My wife looks on smiling and laughing, looking the happiest she has ever been.

I prepare all of my “during work meals” ahead of time, usually on Sunday. All of my meals contain a lean protein, a complex carbohydrate, and fibrous veggies or fruit. I always enjoy them so much.

I’ve taken on cooking for my family, since I’ve educated myself on preparing healthier alternatives. I am able to provide them with a variety of great healthy meals that we all enjoy. If we go out to eat, we choose restaurants that serve healthy items and I stay within my defined calorie range.

I eat at least 6 meals a day, 8 on lifting days, and record my intake on Fitday.com.

I don’t need to snack, my meals keep me full and my energy up.

I take pictures and measurements on the 1st of every month.

I lift focused and with fury, concentrating on perfect forum using the heaviest weight that I can properly.

I run my ass off at least 3 days a week. I increased my HIIT duration by 1 minute each week until I reached 30 minutes.

I lost my love handles somewhere between the school track and my treadmill.

My vascularity is intense and my definition is impeccable. Damn I look good.

I have a closet and chest of drawers full of new clothes that show off my stunning physique.

I take pride in the fact that I ran the HBAA 5K in 20 minutes and placed in the top five of my age group.

I look over at my wife on vacation and catch her eyeing me. She smiles at me bashfully. She is so proud of me. I look the best I have ever looked, like I belong on the beach and at the pool with my shirt off, making all the other girls jealous of my wife.

I help others get over their fears and reservations of being fat, providing support and information for those who wish to be as dedicated as I am to a healthy lifestyle.

Everyday Goals

I kiss my wife and my daughter and tell them I love them everyday.

I play with my dogs everyday.

I take care of my responsibilities, whatever they happen to be.

Tell me what you think.

That's great and has inspired me to do the same. I have two girls so I appreciate the way you prioritize your children and wife.

Nice!

[meanmo]

Lifequest:


On your goal sheet #13 that states

"I am not lazy and worthless now that I’m back at college I work out just as hard and eat just as well."


I would change that to say:

"Now that I'm back in college I will work out harder and eat even better"


everything I have ever read about NLP and goal lists states that you should never use negatives, It's better to just replace negatives with positives.
We are trying to define our self image. Our subconscious only receives information, it can not tell good or bad, it just receives information that defines self image, so only give it positives.

[lifequest]

You’re absolutely right, I actually gave the same advise to SeanDon ha, whups, it’s so easy to be negative. I was soooo worthless in college my first go round I guess that just came up naturally, thank you for pointing that out…no more negative reinforcers!! I think I’m going to re do mine completely here soon now that I keep hearing good suggestions, 2B’s is way better then mine--LQ