O/T There Should Be A Joke Thread...

[mtpockets]

[shaneinga]

A mother and her 5 year old daughter were driving down a highway one day when suddenly a giant dildo hits their windshield…

Daughter – Mommy, what was that?

Mom – (Not wanting her daughter to know what it really was) It was just a bug honey. Don’t worry about it.

There were a few seconds of silence.



Daughter – Did you see the size of the pecker on that thing?

[mtpockets]

[mtpockets]

[whatevergirl]

Worth the watch. This guy is hilarious!

[mtpockets]

[mtpockets]

[whatevergirl]

This makes me laugh every time. Walter the wonder dog.

[Mark1T]

This makes me laugh every time. Walter the wonder dog.

That's hilarious, Wiggles

[mtpockets]

[Lou1se]

A classic - it may look like it won't play, just wait a bit

[mtpockets]

[steffo99]

[Lou1se]

The Parable of the Baltimore Stockbroker


Imagine getting mail from a little known stockbroking firm. The mail predicts that a certain stock will rise this week. You leave
the mail aside, as you have seen enough such mails. But the prediction turns out to be right.

Next week, the Baltimore Stockbroker mails again, with another tip-this time, of a stock going south.

The message turns out right too and you decide to mark the Baltimore Stockbroker as 'not spam'.

Week Three. Another hit. And your interest is piqued.This goes on for ten weeks. Ten accurate predictions from the Baltimore
Stockbroker.

You, the guy who recently retired with a substantial gratuity in the bank, are hooked.

Week eleven, the Baltimore Stockbroker sends you an offer to invest money with him, for a substantial fee of course. There is
the usual caveat of past performances not guaranteeing future success, but the Baltimore Stockbroker nudges you to
consider his ten week streak.

You do the math. Every week, the Stockbroker had a 50% chance with his prediction. Either he would be right, or
wrong.Combining the probabilities for ten weeks, the chances of the Baltimore Stockbroker to be right ten weeks in a row
work out to.. 1/2 x 1/2 x 1/2.....ten times... =1/1024.You consider. The Baltimore Stockbroker must be onto something. And it
would be worthwhile to invest your nest egg with him.

You go in for the offer.

Things, from the view of the Baltimore Stockbroker, are a bit different.

What he did, was start out with sending 10,240 newsletters!Of these, 5120 said a stock would go up, and 5120 said
otherwise.The 5120 who got a dud prediction never heard from the Baltimore Stockbroker again.

Week Two, the Baltimore Stockbroker sent 2560 newsletters, and the following week he again halved the number, based on
who got his correct prediction.This way, at the end of week 10, he had ten people, convinced he was a financial genius.

That's the power of probabilities, cons, and the impact of mathematics on daily life... Just one aspect!

Borrowed from 'How Not to be Wrong: The Hidden Maths of Everyday Life' by Jordan Ellenberg.This is how the Tips provider
works

[Lou1se]

lol this is great!

[Lou1se]

[mtpockets]

[mtpockets]

[Lou1se]

Bodybuilder weds sex doll after two-year relationship

Read more - https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/bodyb...xndz4sfj7uqaf8

[TryingBB]

Bodybuilder weds sex doll after two-year relationship

Read more - https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/bodyb...xndz4sfj7uqaf8

What the actual fuk did I just see!?! Lmfao


You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Lou1se again.

[mtpockets]

[steffo99]

[mtpockets]

Her boss thought that she knew everything about the job, except for ONE THING: "Never laugh at a patient, no matter what."

"Of course I won't laugh," the nurse said. "I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

Three days later, the hospital received a new patient that the nurse was in charge of. "I have a problem with my sexual organs," the man said. "Okay, just drop your trousers for me," the nurse responded.

"Okay then," Tater said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than an AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then almost fell to the floor laughing. A few minutes later she was able to regain her composure. "I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Tater replied.

[Lou1se]

Bloomberg today

[steffo99]

Bloomberg today

Wut..is that actually real? Can't believe they would include this...too funny. Guess I'm more of a brick or cement hand. Gotta know when to let go.

[TryingBB]

[supramax]

[supramax]

[steffo99]

Thought the voice had to be faked but didn't seem so looking at the comments.

[SuffolkPunch]

lol, drop tuned cat

"whoa..."
"whoa..."
"whoooa..."