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  1. #4711
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    - THE FRIDAY CHUCKLER -



    Controversy As Pierre C. Shadeaux Comes
    Clean As “Legally Registered Blind”




    NEW IBERIA, LA – Today marks the traditional Groundhog Day across the U.S., in which
    millions of people decide to ignore our advances in billion-dollar early weather detection
    systems, and take a glorified rat’s winter-weather prediction as gospel. A tradition that
    somehow continues to thrive and that many look forward to each year.


    However controversy surrounded today’s gathering, as Louisiana’s resident nutria rat Pierre
    C. Shadeaux came clean by announcing that he is actually registered as legally blind.

    Shadeaux claimed this morning that “he never saw his shadow” meaning an early Spring is
    in order for the area. However just an hour later, Pierre marred the event with huge
    confession that he said he has been hiding for the past ten years.

    Speaking exclusively to The Daily Crawfish, Pierre explained that a combination of pressure
    and money spurred him on to deceive the local public.

    “It’s been real tough”, Pierre confessed, “I can’t begin to explain how terrible I feel for not
    coming clean about all of this earlier. My eyesight has never been great, and around 2009 it
    began to deteriorate pretty badly. By 2010 I couldn’t see much at all, and became legally
    registered as blind.”

    “It was just something that spiraled way out of control. People are serious about this
    superstitious crap, and it was just something that I felt that I couldn’t give up easily.”

    And he also explained that dollar signs also had an influence.

    “Truth be told, it’s also a super easy gig”, he said, “They pay to stand there and pretend
    that I did or didn’t see my shadow. And let me tell you, they pay well. Real well. Anyone
    would be stupid to turn down maximum cash for minimal work, regardless of whether they
    could see or not. But I guess the guilt caught up with me.”

    Pierre also outlined his plans for the future.

    “Obviously I’m not going to get my contract renewed so it’s time to pass the reigns on to
    someone else. Honestly, I just kind of want to lie low. I’m going to keep claiming my
    disability and just live life at a slower pace. Maybe build a nice garden with a wooden swing
    chair. Nice flower bed. Couple of hummingbird feeders. Compost bins. You know, all that
    jazz.”

    And has he learned his lesson?

    “Thankfully nobody has decided to press charges against me for fraud or anything, but I’ve
    definitely learned my lesson, yes. I’m super embarrassed and I can only apologize to the
    public.”







    Victorious Patrick Mahomes Thanks
    Bears For Drafting Mitchell Trubisky


    ‘Thank God, Because I Would Not Be Here Today If Had Been
    Selected By Chicago,’ Says Super Bowl Champ




    MIAMI—Crediting general manager Ryan Pace for playing an instrumental role
    in advancing his career, Super Bowl champion Patrick Mahomes thanked the
    Chicago Bears Sunday for selecting Mitchell Trubisky instead of him in the 2017
    NFL Draft.


    “I would’ve never had this opportunity to compete for a championship if I had ended up
    on the Bears,” said Mahomes during a post-game interview, expressing his gratitude to
    the Chicago franchise for sparing him from years of mediocrity and career frustration.

    “There were some tense moments on draft day when it looked like I might be headed to
    Chicago, but luckily God had other plans for me. Instead of lifting this trophy, I could
    be languishing at the bottom of the NFC North and running for my life after every snap
    behind a terrible offensive line.

    “I’m so glad I get to throw to Tyreek (Hill) and Sammy (Watkins) my whole career instead
    of whoever the hell is on the Bears.”

    Mahomes added that he only hopes all the current Bears players get as lucky as he did.







    Boeing Scrambling After New CEO
    Catches Fire During First Press
    Conference




    CHICAGO—Emphasizing that the 62-year-old executive was just experiencing
    minor technical issues and would be back behind the podium shortly, Boeing
    officials scrambled to do damage control Monday after their new CEO Dave
    Calhoun erupted into flames during his first press conference.


    “I assure you, Mr. Calhoun is one of the safest board members in Boeing’s history and
    has never caught fire prior to today,” said Boeing spokesperson Karen Flynn, adding that
    Mr. Calhoun had undergone rigorous testing before being promoted to CEO, leaving
    the company stunned when he suddenly paused his speech, sent out an SOS
    signal, and burst into flames.

    “While we are devastated by the news, the reality of having executives is that there is
    always a risk that one will lose control, fly off the stage, and crash into the audience
    at high velocity.

    “To the hundreds who died, or suffered severe injuries today, we sincerely apologize.”

    At press time, investigators found that Mr. Calhoun had failed to pay Boeing for
    additional safety protections that could have prevented him from exploding into
    millions of small, unidentifiable pieces.
    .
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  2. #4712
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    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

    Keep your squats low and standards high.

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  3. #4713
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    Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

    'It is!'

    'This is the Taxation Department. Can you help us?'

    'I'll try!'

    'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

    'I do!'

    'Is he a member of your congregation?'

    'He is!'

    'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

    'He will!'
    .
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  4. #4714
    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    A time traveler is in a Restaurant..

    He enjoyed his food so much he went back four seconds.




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  5. #4715
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    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

    Keep your squats low and standards high.

    You are not stuck at home, you are safe at home.
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  6. #4716
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    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

    Keep your squats low and standards high.

    You are not stuck at home, you are safe at home.
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  7. #4717
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    NEWS IN PHOTOS


    Delta Plane Jettisons Dozens Of Comfort
    Animals Midflight Following Policy
    Changes


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  8. #4718
    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    - THE FRIDAY CHUCKLER -



    Girlfriend Just Wants To Have Low-Key,
    Laid-Back Valentine's Day Fight This
    Year




    BEREA, KY—Saying that she didn’t want to go all out and turn the evening into
    a “big huge thing,” area woman Caitlin Omstead announced Wednesday that
    she would prefer to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year with a nice, low-key
    fight at home with her boyfriend.


    “The past three years we’ve gotten all dressed up and had these huge arguments out on
    the town, so this year I feel like just staying in and having a laid-back quarrel at the
    apartment,” Omstead reportedly told friends, adding that she wouldn’t mind curling up
    on the couch with a movie only one person likes and bickering about money,
    household duties, or the car.

    “Plus, Valentine’s Day is on a Thursday this year, so it’ll be hard to get reservations
    someplace where we can viciously argue about vacation planning under our breath.”

    At press time, Omstead’s boyfriend said he didn’t care where they went to squabble
    as long as they had bitter, resentment-fueled intercourse afterwards.





    Logitech Introduces High-Resistance
    Keyboard For Fitness-Minded Typists




    NEWARK, CA—Saying that an intense workout was now as close as their home
    or office work station, computer accessory manufacturer Logitech unveiled on
    Thursday a new freestanding resistance keyboard for fitness-minded typists.


    “With up to 12 pounds of resistance per key, a vigorous exercise experience is
    literally at your fingertips,” said company spokesperson Caroline Fenster,
    adding that the variable-weight space bar and 10 preset workout routines allow
    users to tailor their keystrokes to their individual fitness goals.

    “The incline of the Logitech PowerBoard can also be adjusted to target different
    muscle groups in the fingers, hands, and wrists, and to give users complete control
    over how much they want to exert themselves while typing documents or emails.”

    Logitech is reportedly hoping that the keyboard will improve the company’s
    fortunes after last year’s disastrous rollout of its 150-pound strength-training
    mouse.





    CEO Of Robotics Corporation Tells
    Sobbing Andrew Yang That He Was His
    Greatest Creation




    WASHINGTON—Stroking his hair as the former presidential candidate fell to his
    knees in despair, Professor Elijah Tresswell, CEO of Tresswell Robotics,
    reportedly told a sobbing Andrew Yang Wednesday that he was his greatest
    creation.


    “I understand that this must be quite a shock to you, Andrew, but all your
    memories from your life before the campaign were simply constructed narratives
    implanted into your neural processor,” said Tresswell, urging Yang to take
    pride in the tremendous technological advances that he’d helped bring into
    existence.

    “I’ve watched you with such delight as, with each presidential debate, you became
    more sophisticated, more emotive, more human. Don’t fret, my sweet Andrew, for
    though you failed to become the nominee, you have achieved something far
    greater, my son.”

    At press time, an anguished Yang had reportedly crushed Tresswell’s skull with his
    bare hands before fleeing through the rain-drenched streets of D.C.
    .
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  9. #4719
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    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

    Keep your squats low and standards high.

    You are not stuck at home, you are safe at home.
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  10. #4720
    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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  11. #4721
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    NEWS IN PHOTOS


    Rod Blagojevich Trying To Sell
    Presidential Commutation To Cellmate
    For $2.8 Million


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  12. #4722
    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    - THE FRIDAY CHUCKLER -



    Mom Still Seething Over Car That Blew
    Through Stop Sign 15 Years Ago




    AUGUSTA, GA—Tightening her grip on the steering wheel as she approached
    the notorious intersection, local mom Helen Schumacher was reportedly still
    seething Monday over a car that blew through a stop sign 15 years ago.


    “It was so inconsiderate—they clearly saw me,” said Schumacher, who furrowed her
    brow and shook her head while recalling how the vehicle blatantly sped right
    through the crossing without any regard for oncoming traffic.

    “It’s so dangerous! I still remember that it was a white Camry. I almost honked. And
    you know there’s a school right down the street! It’s like the driver didn’t think
    that he could’ve gotten hurt too.”

    At press time, Schumacher conceded that at least it wasn’t as bad as the time in
    2002 when that blue Taurus pulled out of the Sears parking lot like “a total maniac.”






    No One In Gang Has Heart To Tell Police
    Informant His Cover's Blown




    LOS ANGELES—A full week into his infiltration of the East Side Crips, no
    member of the gang can bear to tell confidential police informant Hiram Loudon
    that his cover was blown roughly a day and a half after his recruitment, sources
    within the organization revealed Tuesday.


    “We’ve been on to him for weeks, but the poor guy’s trying so hard, we just don’t
    have the heart to break it to him,” said street soldier Dwight Allwood, who
    acknowledged he should have killed Loudon immediately the first time he noticed
    a wire poking from the informant’s jeans pocket but “just couldn’t bring
    myself to do it.”

    “He’s a sweetheart of a guy, and he’s clearly dedicated to what he’s doing—he
    learned all our gang signs and nicknames and everything. It’s going to be
    devastating for him when he realizes he’s been found out.”

    Admitting he has grown fond of the informant, Allwood said that when the time comes,
    he will probably shoot Loudon in the back of the head to avoid watching as the
    man’s face is blown off.







    ‘I’ll Rule You Peasants With An Iron Fist,’
    Says Bloomberg To Standing
    Ovation During DNC Debate




    LAS VEGAS—In a demonstration of the high level of enthusiasm the former
    New York City mayor enjoys among the electorate, surging presidential
    candidate Michael Bloomberg was met with a standing ovation during the
    Democratic debate Wednesday as he promised to “rule you peasants with an
    iron fist.”


    “Kneel before me and tremble, you piteous wretches, for I am your new sovereign
    ruler and my will is infallible,” said Bloomberg, cutting into his rivals’ speaking
    time as his pledge to “vanquish my enemies and reward my supplicants” was
    met with thunderous applause by thousands of assembled audience members.

    “You peons, you mean as little to me as a clump of dirt to a mighty mountain, and
    I’ll step on the necks of every last one of you on my quest for greater and
    greater power. Gaze upon your new God and fear my capricious wrath.”

    At press time, the audience had broken out into chants of “Bloomberg! Bloomberg!”
    as armed guards emerged from the exits to indiscriminately beat them
    with batons.
    .
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    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

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    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

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    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

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    NEWS IN PHOTOS


    ‘Tell Me About It, Stud,’ Says Pleather-
    Clad Elizabeth Warren On Debate Stage
    In Effort To Court Bad Boy Demographic


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    - THE FRIDAY CHUCKLER -



    Man Fails To Change Opinion Despite Being
    Called ‘Stupid’ On The Internet




    Pennsylvania, United States- A man has declined to change his opinion despite
    being called stupid several times on the Internet this morning.


    The man, who claimed to have a superior level of "wokeness" sincerely believes his
    utterly pathetic ideas about the evil Gubmint and Monetary Policy was repeatedly
    informed he was both stupid and an attention seeking loon but inexplicably was
    not won around.

    Further debate indicated the man was unwilling to change his stance, stating
    "Taxation is theft" despite considerable effort being put in to abuse him until
    he did.

    Professor Carl Donohue of the Institute of Dumbo Studies at Lackawanna College
    told us that the lack of change was ‘incomprehensible’.

    “Research has shown that the only reason someone can possibly disagree with you
    on the Internet is if they’re stupid, evil or both.

    “And yet the same research shows there are no instances of someone changing
    their opinion when they’re told so.

    “Possibly they haven’t been told often or loudly enough, and we plan to experiment
    with calling people ‘SCUM!!!’ in 72-pt font until they agree.”






    Snooze Button Time Traveler Sets
    Coordinates For 5 Minutes Into The
    Future




    MINNEAPOLIS—Setting his sights on a point five minutes into the future,
    snooze button time traveler Brent Conley, 31, engaged the launch initiation
    switch on his temporal teleportation device at precisely 7:30 a.m. this morning,
    immediately sending himself hurtling through time.


    Having carefully computed the appropriate coordinates and loaded them into
    his sophisticated time-travel mechanism, the veteran temporal navigator and
    online ad salesman was reportedly able to rocket himself through the very fabric
    of the fourth dimension with little more than the press of a button, traveling the
    equivalent of five earth minutes in the mere blink of an eye.

    “Ummghh,” said the snooze button time traveler upon his virtually
    instantaneous arrival at 7:35 a.m., having rematerialized in the same spot in his
    one-bedroom apartment exactly one-twelfth of an hour after his departure.
    “Wha?”

    “Gahh,” he added as he eyed his current time coordinates with disapproval,
    immediately discerning with the insight of years of time-travel experience that
    he had yet to journey far enough into the future.

    With a vigorous and confident strike of his hand, Conley reportedly engaged the
    ignition button again, initiating a second staggering surge though the
    chronological ether. Quickly assuming the proper supine position necessary for
    time travel, the temporal voyager pulled close his duvet heat barrier for the
    fantastic light-speed journey before him.

    While the electronic time-manipulation device that powers Conley’s leaps into
    the future is said to be small, it is by no means simple. Bearing a dizzying array
    of switches, dials, buttons, and an arcane digitized display of glowing numbers
    and dots, the mechanism can reportedly be calibrated to the time cruiser’s exact
    needs and is always kept within arm’s reach, perched conveniently atop a birch-
    veneer self-assembled end table.

    According to reports, the advanced device emits piercing tones to indicate a
    successful arrival in the future, often blaring the choruses and verses of classic
    rock songs from the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, and today, or occasionally the shrill
    vocalizations of Conley’s disembodied travel companions, Bill And Linda In The
    Morning.

    “Son of a…” said the veritable time captain after a second deftly executed
    chrono-jump, his vision blurred and a watery discharge emanating from his
    mouth, both common side effects of his disorienting blasts through spacetime.
    “Come on.”

    “Agh,” he added defiantly before challenging the very limits of time travel by
    commencing a third vault across the temporal threshold.

    According to astonishing accounts, the 2003 University of Minnesota graduate is
    known to venture as far as 20 minutes into the future routinely, completing
    such mind-bending feats of chronological teleportation as many as three or four
    mornings per week.

    To endure his extraordinary journeys, Conley reportedly wears a specialized
    time-travel suit consisting of cutting-edge cotton-poly-blend plaid leg
    coverings and protective upper-body gear emblazoned with the words “Hard
    Rock Cafe London,” garments specifically suited for the particular rigors of his
    transits. In addition, the chrononaut’s meticulously engineered queen-sized
    time-pod, which carries Conley effortlessly into the future, is said to consist of
    dozens of hidden spring coils, a space-age quilt-top surface, and several
    insulating layers of highly advanced 300-thread-count textiles.

    In spite of his remarkable ability to bend the very dimensions of time to his will,
    the snooze button time traveler is said to occasionally encounter obstacles on
    his voyages. Indeed, such a glitch reportedly occurred Monday when an errant
    deactivation of his device’s power toggle, which is located within just inches of
    the launch bar, propelled the traveler into a much deeper wormhole in the
    spacetime continuum than he had anticipated, depositing him woefully into the
    far-too-distant future.

    “What?” said Conley in momentary confusion, examining the unexpected digits
    8:28 on his chrono-display before realizing he had been thrust a startling 48
    minutes into the future and had no means of return. “No!”

    “God fuking dammit,” the time traveler added as he hurriedly grabbed khaki
    pants and a dress shirt from his hamper and sprinted toward the bathroom.







    Carlos Santana Surprises Wife With
    Coupon For Free 45-Minute Guitar Solo




    LAS VEGAS—In a spontaneous romantic gesture by the 10-time Grammy Award
    winner, guitarist Carlos Santana presented his wife, Cindy Blackman, with a
    handmade coupon redeemable for a complimentary 45-minute guitar solo
    Wednesday, sources confirmed.


    “There’s no expiration date—this one’s good anytime, babe,” Santana said of the
    signed certificate bordered with hand-drawn hearts and musical notes, which is
    said to grant the bearer “One (1) solo, either electric or acoustic, of no less
    than 45 minutes.”

    “No matter what time of day, no matter what I’m doing, just hand over the coupon
    and I’ll give you a solo you won’t forget.”

    Sources reported that Blackman then thanked her husband for the gift before
    adding it to the nightstand drawer where she keeps all the previous Santana-
    solo coupons she has received.
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    In Witness Protection mtpockets's Avatar
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    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

    Keep your squats low and standards high.

    You are not stuck at home, you are safe at home.
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    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    A man is seeking to join the Glasgow Police force.

    The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good, but there
    is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."

    Then, sliding a pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol
    and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists
    and a rabbit?"

    The man being interviewed asks, "Why the rabbit?"

    "Excellent" says the Sergeant, "when can you start?"
    Last edited by Lou1se; 03-02-2020 at 04:24 AM.
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    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    One moment you're 20 in the 70's.
    Now you're 70 in the 20's





























    Last edited by Lou1se; 03-04-2020 at 01:54 AM.
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    In Witness Protection mtpockets's Avatar
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    That's good stuff Lou1se.. A Good morning chuckle
    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

    Keep your squats low and standards high.

    You are not stuck at home, you are safe at home.
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    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    A few re-posts in there but glad you like 'em, mt.
    Enjoy your contributions, especially the Cosby - Harvey meme which is a ripper




    I am giving up drinking for a month.
    Sorry that came out wrong.
    I am giving up. Drinking for a month.













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    NEWS IN PHOTOS


    ‘I’m Proud To Endorse Biden And So
    Are All Of You,’ Announces Pipe-
    Waving Amy Klobuchar


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    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    - THE FRIDAY CHUCKLER -



    Biden Says Incredible Comeback Proves
    He Can Beat Progressive Democrat In A
    General Election




    LOS ANGELES—Touting his Super Tuesday victories as evidence that he would
    stand strong in the face of any real change, Joe Biden announced Wednesday
    that his incredible electoral comeback proves he can beat a progressive
    Democrat in the general election.


    “Democratic voters have spoken, they know that when it comes to the presidential
    election, I would be by far the most likely candidate to defeat Bernie Sanders,”
    said Biden, who cited his strength among a wide variety of demographic groups
    as proof he was the unity figure the party needs to fight back against the
    Democratic Socialists they would be facing in November.

    “People know this election is the most important of our lifetime, and we need to
    nominate someone who can stop progressive policies in their tracks. In fact, if we
    harness that energy, I have no doubt we can deliver a resounding defeat to the
    entire Democratic party.”

    Biden ended his victory speech by claiming that if this momentum continued, the
    Democrats could be celebrating their biggest victory over their opponents ever
    at July’s convention.






    Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of
    What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy




    MEMPHIS, TN—Revealing that she had dreamed of this special moment since
    she was just a little girl, 31-year-old Jessica Drysdale told reporters Wednesday
    that since becoming pregnant, she finally understood the joy of feeling like a big
    fat guy.


    “The happiness I feel every day, waking up like some jolly, 300-pound man and
    rubbing my huge, protruding belly in the mirror, is honestly indescribable,” said the
    nine-months pregnant Drysdale, adding that while she was scared at first to feel
    like an obese middle-aged dad, coming home, putting on her stretchy pants, and
    downing an entire pizza by herself in a La-Z-Boy recliner had exceeded her
    expectations.

    “Yes, it’s hard sometimes, because my ankles are swollen, I can’t actually touch my
    toes, and I sweat in crevices I never even knew I had. But when I get to say things
    like ‘Woah! My dogs are barking,’ or do a big laugh that makes my whole body
    jiggle, it’s incredible. And honestly, it’s powerful.”

    At press time, Drysdale had retracted her statements after she gave birth and doctors
    informed her that she had gained 70 pounds.






    Desperate CDC Director Walks Down
    Hall Of Imprisoned Diseases For One-
    On-One Talk With Avian Flu About
    Stopping Coronavirus




    ATLANTA—In an attempt to stay one step ahead of the dangerous new
    outbreak, Centers for Disease Control Director Robert Redfield reportedly
    walked down the hallway of a secure facility that houses captive diseases Friday
    in order to consult with avian influenza about how to stop the deadly
    coronavirus.


    Striding past hardened infectious agents in a subterranean prison deep beneath CDC
    headquarters, the director appeared shaken as he endured the maniacal laughter
    of cholera and the blood-curdling screams of tuberculosis.

    The CDC director reportedly withstood a series of menacing taunts from
    diphtheria, which was heard whispering sardonically about how quickly it could
    replicate itself inside Redfield’s cells.

    According to reports, Redfield spoke through an intercom to address avian strain H5N1,
    which is kept in solitary confinement in a hermetically sealed room. In exchange for
    insight into how the new coronavirus might be planning to turn itself into a devastating
    worldwide pandemic, Redfield is believed to have offered the highly pathogenic flu
    accommodations in a larger, more comfortable vial, as well as special privileges
    that would allow it to spend part of the day in an open-air petri dish.

    At press time, sources confirmed the facility had entered full lockdown after a guard
    discovered avian flu had seduced and killed the CDC director in order to escape.
    .
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    temporary illusion supramax's Avatar
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    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

    It's easy to not be afraid of tigers when you're sitting in your living room watching a television program about tigers. When you're in the jungle where the tigers are, it's quite a different story.
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    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    The past few weeks has taught us that stupidity spreads faster than any virus





    .
    .
    .





    An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter
    with Tempo Mach 2 appears.
    The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus
    flight, boring flight isn’t it? Take care and have a look here!”
    He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop
    down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, "Well, how was that?"
    The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but now have a look here!"
    The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five
    minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed, "Well, what are you saying now?"
    The jet pilot asks confused: "What did you do?" The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of
    the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake.

    The moral of the story is:

    When you are young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, comfort and peace are not to
    be despised either.

    This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older, Smarter.
    .
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    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    I have a 24 pack of Walmart toilet rolls. Looking
    to swap for a 4 bedroom house.


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    In Witness Protection mtpockets's Avatar
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    If ya happen too go to Disneyland and see Snow white and only 6 dwarfs..

    That's cause Sneezy just got quarantined.
    Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999

    Real Heroes don't wear capes.

    Keep your squats low and standards high.

    You are not stuck at home, you are safe at home.
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    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    I decided to have a go in the market because of all the advice. "Buy the dip" they keep saying.

    I have French Onion, Guacamole and Pesto. I don't see how that is going to make me any money
    but at least it goes well with a cracker and glass of red.
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    ~~MsFit~~ Lou1se's Avatar
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    NEWS IN PHOTOS


    Report: Spider

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