Do not get married until you are at least 25, pure and simple

[Snakethejake83]

I am sitting here thinking about some advice I can pass on, and this is one that I think has really benefited me. Here is a little backstory of me...

-26
-married for two years
-dated wife for three years prior to that

My mother and father got married when they were very young. My father was 21, and my mother was 18. They never came out and told me, but I am pretty sure they got married because my mother became pregnant. So what ensues? Four kids within a four year span. It was like clockwork. But guess what?

They got married way to early.

They tried to work it out, but eight years later they ended up getting a divorce. Who suffered? Us kids. I ask my parents both what they would do if they could could go back in time and change anything. They both say they would have waited to get married. That they got married too young. They were both best friends, and had so much in common. They were just not ready to get married.

In society today, it is ok to wait to get married until you are 25-30 and actually have experienced the growing pains that come from relationships. I am in the military, and being a supervisor with 13 guys that are between 18-23... I can tell you some really horrendous storys that I have witnessed about infidelity, terrible money management, having kids too early, and much much more.

I know you think your in love conquers all. But it does not. This isn't The Notebook. This isn't a fairytale. Marriage is hard, and it takes maturity to conquer most of the petty issues that come up. Make sure you are ready for that.

I will definitely say that I love my marriage, and would not trade it for anything. If I would have married my wife four years ago, I know we would not have made it this far. We definitely had out growing pains, but waiting was really worth it.

Be patient. Enjoy life. Do not be in a rush.

[Atreyu_Fan]

i agree, repped.

[RealPolitik]

My parents got married at 20 and are still together and happy. But yes, I totally agree with you. Im not getting married until i get all my schooling all of the way, which if i go to law school as planned will be around 25 or 26

[Snakethejake83]

My parents got married at 20 and are still together and happy. But yes, I totally agree with you. Im not getting married until i get all my schooling all of the way, which if i go to law school as planned will be around 25 or 26

Well first of all, I am glad your parents are still together. Ask them if they think they should have waited a bit longer, you might be suprised by what they say

I see a trend of a higher rate of divorces as the decades pass. When our parents were our age, divorce rates were not as high. When our grandparents were our age, divorce was highly frowned upon.

I was watching Mad Men season 1, and there was a divorced woman on there with two kids. And she was the talk of the neighborhood. It was pretty sad.

[Tester_T]

Love is the product of wisdom.

[DocHol1day]

as a guy hoping to have his divorce finalized tommorow, i couldnt agree more.

[Snakethejake83]

as a guy hoping to have his divorce finalized tommorow, i couldnt agree more.

Congratulations. Any other insight you think you could throw in? So that others may learn from your mistakes.

[DocHol1day]

Congratulations. Any other insight you think you could throw in? So that others may learn from your mistakes.

yea but no one will listen.

-if your fighting or disagreeing about anything within the first 3 months, move on.
-never invest in her more than she in investing in you
-never "take the next step" in a relationship because your trying to solve a problem

idk theres probably tons more

[FOXXIE]

Correction: Do not get married till your financially stable and really ready to get settle for the rest of your life with someone.





Please people do not mix Lust to Love. They are completely different.

[exbunobooga]

Id say dont get married untill well in your 30's.

Dad was 38 when he got married. Spent his life traveling and doing what he wanted. i'll probly be the same, no reason to get tied down and do the traditional thing. married, house, kids, dog etc.

Spend your youth doing what you want.

I've been in a few long term relationships and couldnt think of anything worse then being stuck with the same chick forever. Not because of bangin the same chick, far from it. I just dont want to lose my freedom.

[Snakethejake83]

Correction: Do not get married till your financially stable and really ready to get settle for the rest of your life with someone.





Please people do not mix Lust to Love. They are completely different.

I think being mid 20's-30 and being financially stable goes hand in hand. I have been financially stable since I was 19, but was not ever close to being mature enough to get married.

[Muclebuilder1]

Correction: Do not get married till your financially stable and really ready to get settle for the rest of your life with someone.

Please people do not mix Lust to Love. They are completely different.

I agree. You, ladies and gentlemen have to remember your parents and grandparents generation had jobs, a strong dollar currency, the wife at home with the kids which is the most healthy and ideal for a family's well being.

Today it is different and it seems more jobs are harder to find, both parents work and on top of that, when the honeymoon is over and a baby nine months later is born.

You never know if you are getting one baby, maybe twins. Who knows, maybe seven babies in one pregnancy.

How are both " young parents to be " going to afford money for one baby let alone two or more babies.

Not only that with age and experience comes maturity that one would not have as teenagers, especially with self discipline. I am glad did not rush to get married and waited some.

[kingof_queens]

I agree with pretty much every post in this thread.

[DocHol1day]

Correction: Do not get married till your financially stable and really ready to get settle for the rest of your life with someone.





Please people do not mix Lust to Love. They are completely different.

believe me sweetie i was very financially stable when i got married. age and maturity is way more important than money.

[Dave P]

I agree except my number is 30.

[toneranger]

I agree except my number is 30.

this exactly haha

[wolfdragon]

I agree. I'd like to add that before getting married live together for at least 6 months. By live together I mean just you and them (no friends or family). I can't count the number of people I've seen get married and then decide to finally get their own place. Most of them divorced because one (or both) got on the others nerves. What amazes me is some of my friends went down this path after being together for a few years.

[xduelx]

Both my parents got married young (early 20s)(not to each other), and divorced after a couple years. Both decided to wait till they were older to get married again. Dad was 38 when I was born, Mom was 34. I prefer it that way, even though my parents were the "older" parents. Mom had no kids from first marriage, but my dad had two. So I have two half siblings who are in their mid 30's.

[Geno]

I married at 18. Worst mistake of my life. 19 years later I was served at my work by two policemen - imagine a junior exec being called to the front desk to answer to two uniformed police officers at the most prestigious firm in the city. 20 years later I was finally divorced. The **** got 1/3 of my 401k even though she had cashed out two of her own and blew the money on herself. She got the custom built house and nine acres that were paid for. She got my fukcing POND. She got MY FUKCING WOOODS....She got spousal support even though I put her sorry ass through college not once but TWICE while we were married. She got child support which I was morally obligated to pay (that is a long story involving one hell of a guilt trip she laid on our son to the point that he hardly speaks to either of us anymore - her for forcing him to lie under oath and me for being very disappointed that he would do so).

And to this day - she says leaving me was the worst mistake of her life.

And to this day I will yell out to the world that her leaving me was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Marrying young is a marriage killer. Gastric bypass surgery is as well.

I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on her if she was on fire.

[Geno]

Correction: Do not get married till your financially stable and really ready to get settle for the rest of your life with someone.





Please people do not mix Lust to Love. They are completely different.

I was and I didn't. Please learn to spell and use grammar.

I was still faithfull and still in love with the same woman that went from 155lbs at 6' to 355lbs at 6'.

Not now though. Life is good.

[6-SPEED]

I don't plan on getting married till about 35. I want to enjoy being single and financially stable for a few more years. Also, I have yet to meet a woman who has improved the quality of my life... I'm starting to think it isn't possible that one can.

[T2TL]

I agree 100%, I even think 25 is on the early side. I hear my friends who are 24-25 getting married and laugh. I couldn't see getting married until I'm well established in my career and have done most of the things that marriage would hold me back from doing, for example traveling. I can't see getting married and being content until about 30. Also like you said marriage is tough, my parents got divorced and most of the people I know who got married early are divorced or unhappy. It sucks because there can be someone perfect for you, but if you rush it a few years and get married you're destroying what could of potentially been a life long marriage.

[herestolife1000]

parents are finalizing the divorce next week, got married when they got pregnant at 18 with me

couldn't agree more

[T2TL]

I married at 18. Worst mistake of my life. 19 years later I was served at my work by two policemen - imagine a junior exec being called to the front desk to answer to two uniformed police officers at the most prestigious firm in the city. 20 years later I was finally divorced. The **** got 1/3 of my 401k even though she had cashed out two of her own and blew the money on herself. She got the custom built house and nine acres that were paid for. She got my fukcing POND. She got MY FUKCING WOOODS....She got spousal support even though I put her sorry ass through college not once but TWICE while we were married. She got child support which I was morally obligated to pay (that is a long story involving one hell of a guilt trip she laid on our son to the point that he hardly speaks to either of us anymore - her for forcing him to lie under oath and me for being very disappointed that he would do so).

And to this day - she says leaving me was the worst mistake of her life.

And to this day I will yell out to the world that her leaving me was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Marrying young is a marriage killer. Gastric bypass surgery is as well.

I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on her if she was on fire.

wow that sucks. My mom was the opposite, she could of taken my dad for everything but didn't want to. I can't stand women who would do that, 1/3rd of your 401k on top of everything else. My grandparents are wondering why I'm not settling down at 22, I guess it was just a different time back then but I'm not even in a rush for a relationship let alone marriage. How does someone like you not want to go and burn that house down? Damn I'd be raging

[NOVA888]

I agree except my number is 30.

I so agree. Marriage in the 20's should be illegal.

[NOVA888]

I don't plan on getting married till about 35. I want to enjoy being single and financially stable for a few more years. Also, I have yet to meet a woman who has improved the quality of my life... I'm starting to think it isn't possible that one can.

Smart man.

[SpiderSense]

I see a trend of a higher rate of divorces as the decades pass. When our parents were our age, divorce rates were not as high. When our grandparents were our age, divorce was highly frowned upon.

Has to do more with Feminist Movement, erosion of the family structure due to increased cost of living vs. minimum wages that don't rise accordingly, automation, and a country that promotes Godlessness more and more

TBH it's all part of a big plan.

[BigTimexXx]

Keep in mind that you don't have to get married at all - far from it, actually. Also, financial stability and personal aspirations can still be attainable while in a relationship, unless you're an idiot or you've got a housewife/one breadwinner deal set-up.

Has to do more with Feminist Movement, erosion of the family structure due to increased cost of living vs. minimum wages that don't rise accordingly, automation, and a country that promotes Godlessness more and more

TBH it's all part of a big plan.

Lol.

[kineticforce]

yea but no one will listen.
-if your fighting or disagreeing about anything within the first 3 months, move on.
-never invest in her more than she in investing in you
-never "take the next step" in a relationship because your trying to solve a problem
idk theres probably tons more

prenup
relation ship may start out like the notebook but no one every shows what happens after marriage in movies.... doesnt show the ups/downs/difficulties it takes to make it work...

Correction: Do not get married till your financially stable and really ready to get settle for the rest of your life with someone.
Please people do not mix Lust to Love. They are completely different.

Money will never buy happiness...
Money will never make someone love you....
Money wont prevent your spouse from cheating on you
Money may prevent certain fights - but it may also create more opportunities to fight
Dedication, values, morals, strength are characteristics one needs to have to get married - lacking and being without can cause doubt and weakness in one

Spend your youth doing what you want.

best part - if you do what you love - you can find someone with similar interests and life goals. You are not rushed to get married - it happens more naturally

believe me sweetie i was very financially stable when i got married. age and maturity is way more important than money.

Maturity more than age - although with age comes maturity.....point is money wont solve anything - it may keep the lights on at night and it may make certain things easier but it wont keep you together forever.

I don't plan on getting married till about 35. I want to enjoy being single and financially stable for a few more years. Also, I have yet to meet a woman who has improved the quality of my life... I'm starting to think it isn't possible that one can.

very possible but it takes a certain type of girl - guys have different motivations than women. From my POV its guys who dont act like men and pander to much to a woman's needs so she will be happy and can have everything while you sacrifice everything you have (pride, dignity, money) so she can live like a princess..... (listen to music today not quoting specific songs but guys saying how they will give a girl everything she wants - cars, trips, etc)

women who work with you and have knowledge of hard work - respect men who work hard and are going places - imo

[pats55583]

I married at 18. Worst mistake of my life. 19 years later I was served at my work by two policemen - imagine a junior exec being called to the front desk to answer to two uniformed police officers at the most prestigious firm in the city. 20 years later I was finally divorced. The **** got 1/3 of my 401k even though she had cashed out two of her own and blew the money on herself. She got the custom built house and nine acres that were paid for. She got my fukcing POND. She got MY FUKCING WOOODS....She got spousal support even though I put her sorry ass through college not once but TWICE while we were married. She got child support which I was morally obligated to pay (that is a long story involving one hell of a guilt trip she laid on our son to the point that he hardly speaks to either of us anymore - her for forcing him to lie under oath and me for being very disappointed that he would do so).

And to this day - she says leaving me was the worst mistake of her life.

And to this day I will yell out to the world that her leaving me was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Marrying young is a marriage killer. Gastric bypass surgery is as well.

I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on her if she was on fire.

wow.........just wow