Girl I'm seriously dating has sleep overs with her guy friend...wtf? (Serious)

[Gibblets]

Been dating this chick for over 2 months now. We are exclusive, but we have no title. She has issues with having a title because she got out of a long-term relationship a year ago and wants to go slow. Cool. I don't really know if I want a girlfriend anyway, so we're just having fun. We're only seeing each other.

Last night, she asks me if it's OK for her to sleep over her friend's house. Let's call this douchebag Jake. So Jakie has a crush on my girl, but my girl has told him that she's not into him. Yet, KNOWING that he likes her, she sleeps over his house. She slept over there last night, called me from this dudes place, and called me again this morning when she left.

I mean, I don't want to be controlling or seem insecure by telling her no, but what the **** is up with this? She says they cuddle together or whatever. For all I know, she's boning this dude.

I'm thinking of putting my foot down. I'm already having trouble "opening up" to her cuz I don't wanna get hurt but this bull**** has got to stop. How can I trust someone like this?

[JesusTookMyBike]

LMFAO!

Where do you pick these chicks up from? Clearly gtfo out of the relationship!

[Gibblets]

LMFAO!

Where do you pick these chicks up from? Clearly gtfo out of the relationship!

Hahah I don't know man! LOL. I'm always dealing with this crap.

[MattyH7688]

u need to find a new girl

[qbanboy14]

talk to her... and if she says what is wrong? don't do anything next time tell heryou are going to one of your girl friend houe to sleep wither her. If she gets mad. Fcuk her 1 more time and then kick her to the curb.. not worth it

[Gibblets]

u need to find a new girl

I'm not a really experienced guy...had a 6 year relationship starting when I was 16 so I'm learning a ton everyday about the "adult" dating world after college.

Is this normal for a girl to do??

She assures me that they don't kiss. All they do is hug when they see each other and cuddle. She's basically using that poor bastard as her emo rag and she gives her pussy to me. I can't complain, but still...it's awkward.

[Wiggy44k]

LMFAO!

Where do you pick these chicks up from? Clearly gtfo out of the relationship!

x2

[knappstaman]

that seems like a very tricky situation... if it was me, i know id be some what confused and afraid, mostly at her trust and loyalty. Atleast she calls you to ask and then when shes leaving, so its not a complete slap in the face. How well do you know the other guy?

[Fernando Rollins]

I'm not a really experienced guy...had a 6 year relationship starting when I was 16 so I'm learning a ton everyday about the "adult" dating world after college.

Is this normal for a girl to do??

I'm not sure about normal but if my girlfriend did that the relationship would definitely be over. Get out before you become attached.

[CandyStripes]

Hell no it's not normal.

You have 2 options:
1. Continue to be her doormat
2. Leave and save yourself the headache

ETA: I didn't realize this was gibblets.

Boy, you were supposed to break up with this girl months ago and you never had the guts to do it. You treated your ex-gf like crap and now your new "gf" is treating you like a fool. This is Karma.

You really need to stop asking for advice since you never seem to take them.

[TheVirtualTaco]

You two are "exclusive" but she's spooning with this guy all night? She says she's not interested in this "friend" but she's obviously getting something out of this. If you two are, in fact, exclusive... you should be the only one spooning with her. It's called f**king monogamy.

You already know what you need to do - put your foot down. Don't hesitate to drop this chick.

BTW, how old is she? My guess is around 21.

[NSD1513]

Wow, It's one thing to hang out with a guy friend. I think that's okay, but I would never ask my boyfriend if I could sleep over with a dude. AND on top of that CUDDLE with him??? Oh no! dude, she doesn't respect you at all! What would she do if you asked her if you could spend the night with a girl that likes you?

[Gibblets]

Wow, It's one thing to hang out with a guy friend. I think that's okay, but I would never ask my boyfriend if I could sleep over with a dude. AND on top of that CUDDLE with him??? Oh no! dude, she doesn't respect you at all! What would she do if you asked her if you could spend the night with a girl that likes you?

I'm just letting things slide because she's NOT my girlfriend. We are exclusive, but not bonded...you guys know what I mean? I can still go out and date other girls, but I'm simply too lazy to do so because I've got pussy right here and she's a nice girl...easy going, etc.

She's got some emotional issues but nothing I can't deal with. I'm just more so concerned about them messing around and then her not telling me and I end up with a third testicle or some warts on my mouth. It's more so the STDs that worry me...not what she does on her own accord.

How can I put my foot down without seeming insecure or controlling?

[lordofchaos]

Did she sleep at his house, or did she sleep in his bed? Big difference here, and makes all the difference in what you should do...

I mean I have had my girl crash at a guys house before when she didn't want to go home, or was too tired to, but as long as it isn't in his bed and you actually trust your woman, what is the problem? I have never had a girl cheat on me that called and told me she was sleeping at the guys house when she was cheating on me.. it is when you catch her at his house and she didn't tell you that you should worry man...


EDIT

wow... reading what was posted while I was typing this and on the phone with my girl.. **** that dude... kick her to the curb... if she is in his bed cuddling with him while dating you that is ****ed up...

[Gibblets]

Hell no it's not normal.

You have 2 options:
1. Continue to be her doormat
2. Leave and save yourself the headache

ETA: I didn't realize this was gibblets.

Boy, you were supposed to break up with this girl months ago and you never had the guts to do it. You treated your ex-gf like crap and now your new "gf" is treating you like a fool. This is Karma.

You really need to stop asking for advice since you never seem to take them.

Yeah, call it Karma, bad luck or just plain ignorance and stupidity.

I did make some headway with that whole ex-boyfriend thing. I called her out on it a few nights ago and got up and packed my things to leave. She started crying and begging me to stay...so we talked. She said that she really genuinely likes me and wants to see this go somewhere. She said that she hasn't talked to her ex for over a month now and wants to keep going. I asked her if she wants to go back to him and she said no, and that she wants to stay with me. So go figure. Plus, she's opening up even more sexually.

[Gibblets]

Did she sleep at his house, or did she sleep in his bed? Big difference here, and makes all the difference in what you should do...

I mean I have had my girl crash at a guys house before when she didn't want to go home, or was too tired to, but as long as it isn't in his bed and you actually trust your woman, what is the problem? I have never had a girl cheat on me that called and told me she was sleeping at the guys house when she was cheating on me.. it is when you catch her at his house and she didn't tell you that you should worry man...


EDIT

wow... reading what was posted while I was typing this and on the phone with my girl.. **** that dude... kick her to the curb... if she is in his bed cuddling with him while dating you that is ****ed up...

Yeah, I'm gonna talk to her tonight. I'm seeing her later.

[NSD1513]

I'm just letting things slide because she's NOT my girlfriend. We are exclusive, but not bonded...you guys know what I mean? I can still go out and date other girls, but I'm simply too lazy to do so because I've got pussy right here and she's a nice girl...easy going, etc.

She's got some emotional issues but nothing I can't deal with. I'm just more so concerned about them messing around and then her not telling me and I end up with a third testicle or some warts on my mouth. It's more so the STDs that worry me...not what she does on her own accord.

How can I put my foot down without seeming insecure or controlling?

Ahh, okay. Talk to her. Let her know, that you are aware that you are each allowed to see other people. And that you won't be mad if she does. But that she should at least extend the courtesy of informing you, for that same reason. Tell her that your just trying to be safe and fair. And if you were to start seeing someone else, you would do the same for her.

[Lieb]

Been dating this chick for over 2 months now. We are exclusive, but we have no title. She has issues with having a title because she got out of a long-term relationship a year ago and wants to go slow. Cool. I don't really know if I want a girlfriend anyway, so we're just having fun. We're only seeing each other.

Last night, she asks me if it's OK for her to sleep over her friend's house. Let's call this douchebag Jake. So Jakie has a crush on my girl, but my girl has told him that she's not into him. Yet, KNOWING that he likes her, she sleeps over his house. She slept over there last night, called me from this dudes place, and called me again this morning when she left.

I mean, I don't want to be controlling or seem insecure by telling her no, but what the **** is up with this? She says they cuddle together or whatever. For all I know, she's boning this dude.

I'm thinking of putting my foot down. I'm already having trouble "opening up" to her cuz I don't wanna get hurt but this bull**** has got to stop. How can I trust someone like this?

jesus homie grow a pair and tell her to shape up or ship out. is this the same girl that leaves her diary out right in front of you after she has written entries about you in it? THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

[Pharos]

This is absolutely ****ing ridiculous. Quit trying to come up with excuses to justify her actions and just drop her already.

[Gibblets]

jesus homie grow a pair and tell her to shape up or ship out. is this the same girl that leaves her diary out right in front of you after she has written entries about you in it? THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

LMAO...yeah she still leaves it out and leaves for work an hour early so I can read it ahhahaha.

[ItalWHOP]

She covered all her bases on this one. Seems legit to me.
a) She asked
b) She called twice while there

What's the big deal? What were the circumstance of the night? Where there other people over? Alcohol involved? etc, etc

You make it sound like she is emotionally unstable. If she is, why do you want to be with her? If it is only pussy you're looking for, then why was this thread even started?

Trying to control her or any woman is just a recipe for disaster. A good relationship is based on communciation, trust, honesty, and staying away from 'games'.

/2 cents


-edit-

On top of that, she gave you an open dorr to voice any concerns when she asked. You could ahve fished for a lot more ifnormation instead of just sitting in the background racking your brain on what she was up to.

[Gibblets]

She covered all her bases on this one. Seems legit to me.
a) She asked
b) She called twice while there

What's the big deal? What were the circumstance of the night? Where there other people over? Alcohol involved? etc, etc

You make it sound like she is emotionally unstable. If she is, why do you want to be with her? If it is only pussy you're looking for, then why was this thread even started?

Trying to control her or any woman is just a recipe for disaster. A good relationship is based on communciation, trust, honesty, and staying away from 'games'.

/2 cents

No alcohol involved. Yes, there were others over but she was the only one who slept with him IN HIS BED.

They are best friends though...alot of history I guess. She NEVER liked him but he likes her...she shot him down a few times in the past. But once a guy likes a girl...he likes her...

I don't get why she puts herself in such a wierd emotional situation.

Yeah I trust her, and I mean, we're not even committed. But still, it's wierd.

[CandyStripes]

Yeah, call it Karma, bad luck or just plain ignorance and stupidity.

I did make some headway with that whole ex-boyfriend thing. I called her out on it a few nights ago and got up and packed my things to leave. She started crying and begging me to stay...so we talked. She said that she really genuinely likes me and wants to see this go somewhere. She said that she hasn't talked to her ex for over a month now and wants to keep going. I asked her if she wants to go back to him and she said no, and that she wants to stay with me. So go figure. Plus, she's opening up even more sexually.

She cries because she knows it'll work. But she'll never stop treating you like an idiot. Here's how your relationship with this girl is going to go if you stay with her. She'll hurt your feelings, then you'll try to leave, then she'll cry and beg for your forgiveness, then you'll accept, then she be good for a couple of weeks and then it'll start all over again.

[ItalWHOP]

No alcohol involved. Yes, there were others over but she was the only one who slept with him IN HIS BED.

They are best friends though...alot of history I guess. She NEVER liked him but he likes her...she shot him down a few times in the past. But once a guy likes a girl...he likes her...

I don't get why she puts herself in such a wierd emotional situation.

Yeah I trust her, and I mean, we're not even committed. But still, it's wierd.

If you like her, don't even bring it up. Act like it doesn't even bother you one bit. Be confident and dont dwell on it. If anything, acting like this will make her like you more.

[J1987]

if you dont have a title, your a friend with benifits, and in my eyes. that doesnt mean you can only have one friend with benifits.

if you want something serious you both need to step up, if not then why are you getting pissed? shes just a peice of ass?

[Gibblets]

She cries because she knows it'll work. But she'll never stop treating you like an idiot. Here's how your relationship with this girl is going to go if you stay with her. She'll hurt your feelings, then you'll try to leave, then she'll cry and beg for your forgiveness, then you'll accept, then she be good for a couple of weeks and then it'll start all over again.

I've already taken most of my feelings out of it. I see it for what it is...not what I'd like it to be in my own perfect world. Taking her for face value pretty much.


Yeah she's ****ed up and maybe I like dealing with this **** because I am getting a great opporunity to learn and deal with emotional obstacles like this. It's good for me in a way to put myself through this awkward torture. I will be better prepared to deal with women.

[BrianBear]

Face it, she's probably going to be way more drama then you want to deal with.

[Gibblets]

If you like her, don't even bring it up. Act like it doesn't even bother you one bit. Be confident and dont dwell on it. If anything, acting like this will make her like you more.

Word.

[CandyStripes]

I've already taken most of my feelings out of it. I see it for what it is...not what I'd like it to be in my own perfect world. Taking her for face value pretty much.


Yeah she's ****ed up and maybe I like dealing with this **** because I am getting a great opporunity to learn and deal with emotional obstacles like this. It's good for me in a way to put myself through this awkward torture. I will be better prepared to deal with women.

Oh my goodness. You're a lost cause.

[Gibblets]

Face it, she's probably going to be way more drama then you want to deal with.

If it gets to that point, I'll walk, despite her pleas.

I was gonna walk the other night, but her crying BS really made me feel back so I conceded and said, "fine, I'll stay with you tonight".