Supposedly hates making friends with females (serious)

[Below 30]

"You don't need to interact with men to talk to them on a biological level, so why do you do that? WHy do that and not talk to women?'

I don't understand that line.

"My point is that I DON'T offer anything different than a man as far as conversation goes. Nothing more, nothing less. And since it's nothing less, why pass me by as a possible friend?

Because the man would be distracted, looking at you as sexual potential.



The ratio of men who lead-on women, to women who lead-on is favoured to the woman's side. It's interesting how you mentioned that you hope I don't marry with this attitude. You don't realize that straight men can't be real friends to girls, but you assume that everyone must get married? You don't seem to recognize the laws of nature, only that of society. I live by the only laws that matter and that is nature.

[LunicaAshes]

"You don't need to interact with men to talk to them on a biological level, so why do you do that? WHy do that and not talk to women?'

I don't understand that line.

You talk about interacting with women as being sexual because that is biology, and see no reason to think beyond this in order to find a true friend on another level. Biology does not mandate you to talk or hang out with guys for fun and more than it says you must do the same on a non-sexual level with girls, so why do you do that? Why talk to men when it serves no biological purpose? Originally you would spend time with men to hunt and with women to procreate. Why can you now be friends with men but fail to validate that women have an equally interesting potential as a friend with personality and intelligence?

Because the man would be distracted, looking at you as sexual potential.

If he has half a brain in addition to his testosterone, he'd be able to partake in and enjoy conversation with someone without obsessing over sex.

The ratio of men who lead-on women, to women who lead-on is favoured to the woman's side. It's interesting how you mentioned that you hope I don't marry with this attitude. You don't realize that straight men can't be real friends to girls, but you assume that everyone must get married? You don't seem to recognize the laws of nature, only that of society. I live by the only laws that matter and that is nature.

The numbers may not be as skewed if you didn't use "talking to a guy while being hot and not f*cking him" as the criteria for leading someone on. Again, it's not my duty to ugly myself up to talk to men, or to ignore all those that are not currently in my vagina.

And I never said you had to get married. Lol, where did THAT come from? I said that I hope you don't get married with that attitude. In other words, should you ever want to marry, or have a close relationship, I hope you learn by then that the other person is more than just something to have sex with, and that you can be attracted to her AND enjoy her company non-sexually. I say f*ck the laws of society, and I know a lot more about what drives us biologically than you realize, so don't act like you know how I think. I just also happen to know that we can go beyond our biological wiring to see each other as more than bags of meat for reproduction.

P.S. I hope you appreciate my careful planning to ensure your blue color stays consistent. I think it's funny people give you **** for that.

[Below 30]

I type in this colour, but it's up to the individual how they quote a post. But yes, I do realize you put effort into maintaining it though.


The reason for being friends with men, is because men can discuss issues with each other, with being sexually distracted. The issue here is, you don't know how a man's mind works, you're not one. As I don't know how a Female mind works. Why do you think all the guys in here want girls to post a picture with a spoon, to prove their gender? It's because they want to make sure, before they start sexually harassing her.

It's all sexual when it comes to a straight man. If you really don't think like a typical female, why do you wear make-up around these guy friends? Why do you even wear make-up at all? It's to make yourself more attractive to men and have them notice you. Then when they make a play for you, you frustrate them by saying; "Let's be friends". So then they do that, in hopes of taking it to the next step one day.

That's why straight men go to ballets and talk about home decor, it's to please the woman. They don't care about that stuff, they just want to make the woman feel like he cares, so she'll let him have her. As I said, you try the method with your guy friend as I said before and watch what he does.

[AKR]

I type in this colour, but it's up to the individual how they quote a post. But yes, I do realize you put effort into maintaining it though.


The reason for being friends with men, is because men can discuss issues with each other, with being sexually distracted. The issue here is, you don't know how a man's mind works, you're not one. As I don't know how a Female mind works. Why do you think all the guys in here want girls to post a picture with a spoon, to prove their gender? It's because they want to make sure, before they start sexually harassing her.

It's all sexual when it comes to a straight man. If you really don't think like a typical female, why do you wear make-up around these guy friends? Why do you even wear make-up at all? It's to make yourself more attractive to men and have them notice you. Then when they make a play for you, you frustrate them by saying; "Let's be friends". So then they do that, in hopes of taking it to the next step one day.

That's why straight men go to ballets and talk about home decor, it's to please the woman. They don't care about that stuff, they just want to make the woman feel like he cares, so she'll let him have her. As I said, you try the method with your guy friend as I said before and watch what he does.

*yawn*

another male who thinks he has all other males figured out.

i'm not going to waste my time posting back and forth with this ****, but for the record:

I'm sheduma's boyfriend.

i don't give a **** about her male friends.

i don't give a **** if they are sexually attracted to her.

i have female friends.

fortunately, i am capable of carrying on intelligent conversations with women without trying to breed with them. i'm sorry you and so many other males can't handle such a simple task, but don't insult our entire sex for your lack of depth.

have fun pretending you speak for males every where. you're full of ****. that is all.

[LunicaAshes]

I type in this colour, but it's up to the individual how they quote a post. But yes, I do realize you put effort into maintaining it though.


The reason for being friends with men, is because men can discuss issues with each other, with being sexually distracted. The issue here is, you don't know how a man's mind works, you're not one. As I don't know how a Female mind works. Why do you think all the guys in here want girls to post a picture with a spoon, to prove their gender? It's because they want to make sure, before they start sexually harassing her.

It's all sexual when it comes to a straight man. If you really don't think like a typical female, why do you wear make-up around these guy friends? Why do you even wear make-up at all? It's to make yourself more attractive to men and have them notice you. Then when they make a play for you, you frustrate them by saying; "Let's be friends". So then they do that, in hopes of taking it to the next step one day.

That's why straight men go to ballets and talk about home decor, it's to please the woman. They don't care about that stuff, they just want to make the woman feel like he cares, so she'll let him have her. As I said, you try the method with your guy friend as I said before and watch what he does.

You seem to make the claim that all men are alike, and that since sexual feelings may be involved, he can't enjoy or desire a friendship.

I wear make-up because I like it. I don't wear much actually, but I enjoy what I do wear. For myself. Because it's fun and a way to express myself. If I don't feel like wearing it, I don't... though I generally will anyhow if I'm going to work because I feel like it makes me appear more professional and mature.

[Below 30]

Hey man, just look in MISC and then think about what you said. It's more guys like me than you. But you're right, I can't speak for you specifically. When you have men making Chris Hansen so popular because they think some text was being typed by a girl and travel halfway across the country into a trap, I'd say I know exactly what I'm talking about.

No girl is going to admit what goes down with her male friends alone. That's why there is the thing called cheating and relationships ending. So I would never get involved with a girl, who I know already has a hand full of dudes around her. How can I know what your specific girl does? I can't. But in terms of giving a man advice or my opinion on the situation, I say for all the points I provided, don't do it.

[LunicaAshes]

Hey man, just look in MISC and then think about what you said.

Haha, you're basing the average male intellect on a handful of adolescents in a forum? Most people here are 16-21 (psychological and hormonal adulthood hits shortly after the teen years,) and the misc section is only a subset of how they think and act when in this environment.

[LunicaAshes]

No girl is going to admit what goes down with her male friends alone. That's why there is the thing called cheating and relationships ending.

I will and I have. We talk. That's why there's a thing called (deserved) trust and healthy relationships.

[Below 30]

What environment? You think men only become super sexually active when they're on an internet forum? Then when they log off and gather around with girls and talk about the latest knitting trends? This is a real representation of how men in general think and act.

It's all around you and you're trying to deny it. You can't miss it, this is why the sex industry is a multi-billion dollar industry, because men are always think about sex. There might be 100 straight men in North America who don't, but the rest do. When a straight man sees or has a chance at a decent looking female, he's going to do what he can to get with her.

[LunicaAshes]

What environment? You think men only become super sexually active when they're on an internet forum? Then when they log off and gather around with girls and talk about the latest knitting trends? This is a real representation of how men in general think and act.

It's all around you and you're trying to deny it. You can't miss it, this is why the sex industry is a multi-billion dollar industry, because men are always think about sex. There might be 100 straight men in North America who don't, but the rest do. When a straight man sees or has a chance at a decent looking female, he's going to do what he can to get with her.

I'm saying that this forum is an outlet for purely sexual stuff, when in the real world people have things such as friends. You don't have to be deep online. And again, people here are mostly kids. Totally different story. One of my male friends was talking to me last week about how when he was a teen, until about age 21, all he cared about was sex, football and parties... now as an adult he is much deeper and less obsessive about those things. He can be friends with females instead of just wanting them for their bodies.

I'm not saying sex isn't a big issue, but women and men have equal sex drives. They also both have the ability to control themselves. Any lack of that is something you are just excusing. Healthy men don't JUST think about sex. They don't JUST talk to girls for sex. If you can prove otherwise, start with the sources.

[exbunobooga]

can we let this go now?

sheduna, I noticed how you were quick to defend your actions (in your first few posts), sounds like you took this some what personally. Denail springs to mind. I'm not going to acuse you of anything or say you are doing wrong, you will do what you want. You and your bf obviously trust each other but do realise boys and girls will always have 'some' sexual energy going no matter how plutonic. Cant really deny that, so there is no point arguing otherwise.

below 30, youve been posting alot since you got here, mainly about the PUA world and I get a strong sense you hate women. I got the feeling your single and hating life, im guessing you had your heart broken bad and are now out to get as many women as possible. Chill out a little dude, there is more to life than gaming girls.

[Below 30]

"I'm saying that this forum is an outlet for purely sexual stuff"
Oh, so this is not a Bodybuiding site, it's a sexual release site? That doesn't seem like what this site is to me.

Healthy men don't just think about sex you say? So why do strip clubs make so much money, why do lawyers and doctors go to Asia to rent prostitutes? Why do men go to bikini contests? It's because they always think about sex. That's why you wear make-up, because men said it makes females look better, thus enhancing a man's sexually fantasy.

You don't wear make-up because you like it, you were taught to wear it. Just like high heels and having long hair, these are all things men required to enhance his sexual fantasies, because we think about sex all the time. If a man were to wear make-up and say it's to look professional, you would tell me you'd understand him? No. It's a female only thing, dreamed up by men, for their desires.

*exbunobooga*

Alright mang, cool. I said my piece.

[LunicaAshes]

can we let this go now?

sheduna, I noticed how you were quick to defend your actions (in your first few posts), sounds like you took this some what personally. Denail springs to mind. I'm not going to acuse you of anything or say you are doing wrong, you will do what you want. You and your bf obviously trust each other but do realise boys and girls will always have 'some' sexual energy going no matter how plutonic. Cant really deny that, so there is no point arguing otherwise.

below 30, youve been posting alot since you got here, mainly about the PUA world and I get a strong sense you hate women. I got the feeling your single and hating life, im guessing you had your heart broken bad and are now out to get as many women as possible. Chill out a little dude, there is more to life than gaming girls.

I wasn't defending my actions, but I did take offense to being told that if women prefer men as friends, it's because they are b*tches. I'm not saying there won't be some sexual energy, I'm saying that it doesn't matter and you can be just friends quite happily anyhow.

I also get a strong misogynistic vibe from Below 30

[LunicaAshes]

"I'm saying that this forum is an outlet for purely sexual stuff"
Oh, so this is not a Bodybuiding site, it's a sexual release site? That doesn't seem like what this site is to me.

Healthy men don't just think about sex you say? So why do strip clubs make so much money, why do lawyers and doctors go to Asia to rent prostitutes? Why do men go to bikini contests? It's because they always think about sex. That's why you wear make-up, because men said it makes females look better, thus enhancing a man's sexually fantasy.

You don't wear make-up because you like it, you were taught to wear it. Just like high heels and having long hair, these are all things men required to enhance his sexual fantasies, because we think about sex all the time. If a man were to wear make-up and say it's to look professional, you would tell me you'd understand him? No. It's a female only thing, dreamed up by men, for their desires.

*exbunobooga*

Alright mang, cool. I said my piece.

I was not talking about all of BB.com, but this forum SECTION, which is mostly all sex, all the time. That's not hte real world. Looking at your number of posts and when you joined, maybe it is for you though.

All those things you said don't prove men think about sex ALL the time, it proves they enjoy sex a lot. If it's ALL they thought about there would not be other things that men do. They would not have hobbies, sports, etc.

And please do not tell me why I wear make-up. You can say why some do, but not me. I enjoy it. For a long time I wore none because I didn't enjoy it at that time. When I was younger I didn't care much if guys wanted me, but I wore it because I liked to. I wear it now because I want to. Some days I don't. Whether or not I do is not based on who I see that day (unless I want to look nice for my BF.)

I also don't wear heels because I don't want to, and I have my hair longer for no one but me. I've had it short, long, plenty didn't like it either way. I didn't care. My BF said he likes shorter hair, I said I wanted to grow it anyhow. He's not a dick so he fine with it. Because I wanted to.

If a guy wants to wear make-up he can go for it. I said it makes me look more professional because I work with teens and most people think I look like a teen, so I try to steer clear of that for my career's sake.

[DYnomyte001]

I fall under Below 30's camp,

Sheduma you may make valid points but this fact remains:

1. All your male friends, given the opportunity would **** you. Of course they will never say this outright, but they desperately hope so.

Now, you may or may not be this person, but there are plenty of women that keep these men around as it feeds their egos, give them attention and makes them feel better.

--- Simply put, no male likes the fact his girlfriend has a lot of guy friends. We know what they are thinking, because we've all been in their shoes. And this is just ignoring the possibilities.

[xer0xed]

I think Below 30 was quoting a vast statistical rule, and not an absolute one. In any case, I'll come down on the side of statistics until proven otherwise. =)

[BVAV]

And what if her friendships with males are the same as the typical friendship with a female? I enjoy spending time hanging out with males moreseo than females, in general, because I don't have the typical female personality. It makes me gag to sit around listening to females giggle about their daily half-hour tanning session and how they spent $500 on a pair of jeans and "OMG I think I broke a nail!" My male friends have never been the "I'll carry your furniture and buy you things and listen to you complain." It's just a friendship like that guy might have with a male. We talk about hiking, camping etc... not how much I whine (and I don't have to hear the guys say how concerned they are about what happens to their makeup on the hike.) We talk about philosophical stuff, not whether or not they are going to buy me things and make me feel hot and do things for me.

Your idea of "he typical female personality" sounds pretty limited. Do you think you're the only female that has more to her than "OMG I think I broke a nail!"?

Strong sexism and pompous arroganc. vv

...It makes me gag to sit around listening to females giggle about their daily half-hour tanning session and how they spent $500 on a pair of jeans...

..."OMG I think I broke a nail!"...

...not how much I whine (and I don't have to hear the guys say how concerned they are about what happens to their makeup on the hike.)

[Brutotal]

*yawn* another male who thinks he has all other males figured out. i'm not going to waste my time posting back and forth with this ****, but for the record

If you actually read the post I summed up your entire opinion on the matter on the last page. Your really a beautiful and unique snowflake.

With all the things posted there are alot of things I could respond to but I have to ask this:

When is sex ignored? At what point can you say the guy talking to you about -whatever- is ignoring you being a female? When he doesn't stare at your boobs?

You can have a conversation with anyone and have it not involve or lead to a relationship but both of you are thinking it if your attracted. Even for that second when you discount the person because of how their pro's and con's add up.

[Overun]

I would just like to add an experience i have recently had which is on topic with the arguement presented. There is a girl who works at my gym as a receptionist, i ignored her for the longest time until she initiated contact. After some mild flirting and getting together, i learned she had a boyfriend. Being the man that i am, and having been cheated on myself i decided to tell her out of respect for her bf, that we would never be more then strictly friends. Now we go out sometimes to starbucks, or to grab lunch and talk, but i must admit that prior to leaving my house or even as im with her, i think about banging her for lack of a better term. Hey boyfriend constantly calls because hes insecure about us being out together, and ive told him i would never do anything like that, however my mind is guilty yet i refrain form the action. I can tell you this, if we were both drunk our inhibitions would be much more difficult to control, and this guy is not out of line for worrying about his girl being with another guy even though his intentions are presumibly honest. If a girl is attractive, like it or not and i am very intelligent as is she, there will always be sexual tension.

[Beklet]

So you're basically saying that every single one of my male friends wants a bit?

Looks like I'm in for an interesting weekend.....

Except I don't fancy any of them, and they're all happy with their girlfriends (some of whom are my best mates)

SOmething to bear in mind for the future though...

[Overun]

What im saying is, even when we make the conscious choice and say, we are just friends, nothing more will happen, you are simply in control of you inhibitions, it does not mean that they dont exist or that at some point you will not choose to act on them .

[Overun]

So you're basically saying that every single one of my male friends wants a bit?

Looks like I'm in for an interesting weekend.....

Except I don't fancy any of them, and they're all happy with their girlfriends (some of whom are my best mates)

SOmething to bear in mind for the future though...

Question, You say you dont fancy them and they are all happy with their girlfriends. Now i would like to propose that you dont fancy them because they have girlfriends, which would also suggest you do howevery their attatchment to another woman acts as a deterent to your inhibition. Just some introspection, however i would like to honestly know, have you ever had any sexual nuances for a man who was taken and you suggest to him that you just wanted to be friends?

[Beklet]

Question, You say you dont fancy them and they are all happy with their girlfriends. Now i would like to propose that you dont fancy them because they have girlfriends, which would also suggest you do howevery their attatchment to another woman acts as a deterent to your inhibition. Just some introspection, however i would like to honestly know, have you ever had any sexual nuances for a man who was taken and you suggest to him that you just wanted to be friends?

You're right. I don't fancy them because they have girlfriends. I seem to have an inbuilt mechanism to turn off any attraction receptors to attached men. Particularly men my friends are seeing to the point where even if they split up, I remain unattracted to them. I don't know how it works but I'm glad it does - fancying your best mates bloke must be an awful situation to be in!

Not sure what you mean by sexual nuances but sometimes I have. I don't agree with cheating though so anything like that gets nipped in the bud pretty quickly.

I admit I find it odd that men apparently view every female in a sexual context, because it's really not something I do consciously. I'm sure at some level, my brain says 'yay' or 'nay' but even if I subconsciously find them attractive, it's not something I dwell on or is at the front of my mind.

I'm also aware that some of my male friends don't even remotely fancy me I'm sure if I went to them all and offered myself on a plate (to the single ones), quite a few would turn me down flat

[Overun]

Its this subconscious attraction/ sexual desire which is the issue being discussed in this thread. We all know it exists, and it does cause tension between friendships and relationships. Ultimatley the choice to act on it rests in the hand of the people in the given situation. This is why trust and respect and accountability is so important in a relation. Yes in 80% of male female relations there is sexual desire, but it up to the individuals in terms of weather they choose to act on it or not. More often then not it happens, id say 60-40 , however this is just a guess by looking at divorce rates and cheating. It is also a matter or personal preference , knowing that being in a relationship also includes the chance that you will be cheated on. This is the reason why most men have issues of commitment. They tend to be clingers once they do find a woman, which puts the woman in a position of power.

If your in a relationship with a woman whom has many male friends, she has power over her male partner as the has other viable choices. She also has power over her other male friends as she controls weather or not they get some nookie or not. This is the Reason why men are so bitter, so fearfull and so clingy. The empowerement of women has taken away an a central aspect of what it means to be a man , women are becoming more "alpha" men more "beta".

[Beklet]

If your in a relationship with a woman whom has many male friends, she has power over her male partner as the has other viable choices. She also has power over her other male friends as she controls weather or not they get some nookie or not. This is the Reason why men are so bitter, so fearfull and so clingy. The empowerement of women has taken away an a central aspect of what it means to be a man , women are becoming more "alpha" men more "beta".

Would be horrible to find out all men were bitter fearful and clingy! Maybe I'm lucky - most of the men I know are pretty stable. Besides, clingy men usually have me running for the hills!!!

[Overun]

Not all men are, but the trend is leaning towards it, ive mentioned this before, as the standard of woman has continually increased, in terms of appearance, intelect and wealth, there must be a corelation to an increase in those areas with men. Its not happening.

[joshwilson1]

I heard something before and it seems to be somewhat true. Girls who only have guy friends and find it hard to have girls as friends have usually been around the block.

[Beklet]

Not all men are, but the trend is leaning towards it, ive mentioned this before, as the standard of woman has continually increased, in terms of appearance, intelect and wealth, there must be a corelation to an increase in those areas with men. Its not happening.

What, women's intellect and wealth have improved? Or women's standards for men? As long as they're reasonably intelligent, wash and are capable of holding down a job, that's good enough to start with.

You're probably right about what's happening with men - my boss tells me all the time that men of my generation are getting more feminised. I dunno - most of them are OK, but I'd hate to be a teenager - oh the horror! More of them (but by no means all) are seriously messed up! And that's females too

[Below 30]

I would just like to add an experience i have recently had which is on topic with the arguement presented. There is a girl who works at my gym as a receptionist, i ignored her for the longest time until she initiated contact. After some mild flirting and getting together, i learned she had a boyfriend. Being the man that i am, and having been cheated on myself i decided to tell her out of respect for her bf, that we would never be more then strictly friends. Now we go out sometimes to starbucks, or to grab lunch and talk, but i must admit that prior to leaving my house or even as im with her, i think about banging her for lack of a better term. Hey boyfriend constantly calls because hes insecure about us being out together, and ive told him i would never do anything like that, however my mind is guilty yet i refrain form the action. I can tell you this, if we were both drunk our inhibitions would be much more difficult to control, and this guy is not out of line for worrying about his girl being with another guy even though his intentions are presumibly honest. If a girl is attractive, like it or not and i am very intelligent as is she, there will always be sexual tension.

Q---F---T!

[The Experiment]

The only time a girl can be friends with a guy is:

a) He is gay
b) He is dating someone more attractive
c) His life is too busy to accommodate another woman

There you have it.

Assuming none of the three apply, a girl's friends may not be willing to jump her bones right away, but he is planning something. Putting a girl on the backburner so to speak: allows him to have some nice prospects lined up should anything go south. He is feeling the girls out though and seeing if there is something.

I've seen far too many relationships where the girl had lots of guy friends, the guy was blissfully unaware, and well, when the relationship was having problems, she wound up banging these friends. I've also been a friend of a girl's who tried making moves on me when her boyfriend was away. Fortunately, I turn these offers down but I try to be platonic and when he's not around, she is trying to make out with me. Perhaps I give the wrong signals but she shouldn't even do that in the first place.

I imagine this is a similar scenario for dudes. Its why a good number of girls get so pissy when their men has female friends. Its because she knows what she can do (or what she has done) with her male friends.

Once again, there are exceptions to the rule but this applies for a significant batch of the population. Admit it.