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  1. #1
    Still Alive Ausaric's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Anyone ever just feel like it’s over

    Already lost confidence in self 10x, already failed, no zeal for life, nothing to live for except to minimize suffering, hate my appearance, hate my personality, hate how I talk, how I move, how I do everything, hate everything about myself.

    Probably dying, have been chitting blood for days randomly and not sure why. Prolly have turbo cancer. Maybe this is the gift the universe is finally sending me to put me down. I don’t have to keep doing this.

    The princess of England just got cancer, maybe I also have cancer too.


    Just started a new job, I have 0% confidence in my ability to succeed. Have no energy, can’t concentrate, get overwhelmed and stressed too fast. Just want to lay in the dark in bed, that’s all I’m good for.

    Fukup loser POS, what a cruel world this is.


    It’s over, I mean it’s really over. Maybe if I have cancer I can go on hospice or something.
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  2. #2
    Wanker M8 YeahImMad's Avatar
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    Come on now, don't talk like this. You are worth more you are not chit. This is really important to understand.

    No homo
    Last edited by YeahImMad; 03-22-2024 at 04:17 PM. Reason: Forgot no homo
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  3. #3
    Deathcon 3 Kewbrah's Avatar
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    Brah you are an inspiration to many of us with how you turned your life around.
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  4. #4
    Registered User HateLiberals's Avatar
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    Focus on milk drinking 1 handed cleans and become misc king
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  5. #5
    6'0" 200 nothingshocking's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by YeahImMad View Post
    Come on now, don't talk like this. You are worth more you are not chit. This is really important to understand.
    Why are you so mad?
    I'm just a white guy from the future, I'm completely out of touch

    This machine is obsolete
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  6. #6
    Anything I want. U mirin? OptimusTrajan's Avatar
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    You're probably depressed because something is wrong.

    What do you mean by chitting blood? Is it bright red, or black like coffee grounds?
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  7. #7
    Registered User swordplay76's Avatar
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    Don’t give up, mayne. Find God and find a purpose.
    Peaceful warrior in Christ.
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  8. #8
    ACL Slater GaryRidgway's Avatar
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    Yes sir. I've given up on life sir.
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  9. #9
    r/supplements MetroBrah's Avatar
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    damn brah, you're not a failure in book. Legendary miscer, strong af, employable skills etc. You also have a nice appearance (nohomo), not sure what's made you feel this way. I think what is truly missing is a better relationship with your family srs
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  10. #10
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    feel like that everyday

    for a decade already

    my only friends are mary jane and john molson
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  11. #11
    Still Alive Ausaric's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by OptimusTrajan View Post
    You're probably depressed because something is wrong.

    What do you mean by chitting blood? Is it bright red, or black like coffee grounds?
    Bright red blood bro

    And yes I’m starting a new job and I’m chitting blood and I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed

    And my life has not gone too well the past 5-10 years

    I am just expecting that things will keep getting worse
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  12. #12
    Registered User BrianDaMan's Avatar
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    inb4 eod
    see Krackerjacked's sig
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  13. #13
    Still Alive Ausaric's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by swordplay76 View Post
    Don’t give up, mayne. Find God and find a purpose.
    Where is he hiding? Why is he hiding? lol peekaboo! Come out, come out, wherever you are! Ready or not, here I come!

    Oh! Where could he be? Let’s go look around and see where he’s hiding.


    lol
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  14. #14
    Registered User TryingMen's Avatar
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    Yes I'm right there with you


    Life keeps beating you down and beating you down. Up until now I kept fighting back getting back up and staying positive despite the repeated blows. Eventually you get tired though. You cannot beat life. No matter what's its eventually going to win and you are going to stop getting back up fighting against it all. I feel like I'm there now. Don't even want to get up and try. Don't even think I can anymore if I wanted to.

    Cliffs:
    -It's over
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  15. #15
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    Originally Posted by TryingMen View Post
    Life keeps beating you down and beating you down. Up until now I kept fighting back getting back up and staying positive despite the repeated blows. Eventually you get tired though. You cannot beat life. No matter what's its eventually going to win and you are going to stop getting back up fighting against it all. I feel like I'm there now. Don't even want to get up and try
    fuuuuuuu so much this

    when i wake up

    the real nightmare begins
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  16. #16
    Still Alive Ausaric's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TryingMen View Post
    Yes I'm right there with you


    Life keeps beating you down and beating you down. Up until now I kept fighting back getting back up and staying positive despite the repeated blows. Eventually you get tired though. You cannot beat life. No matter what's its eventually going to win and you are going to stop getting back up fighting against it all. I feel like I'm there now. Don't even want to get up and try. Don't even think I can anymore if I wanted to.

    Cliffs:
    -It's over
    I don’t want to come across like I’m lazy or something I was working 3 days after I got out of the hospital for alcoholic liver failure, literally at a new job with fluid still in me all swollen

    Started exercising and getting back in shape, it actually was going well for like 6 months but late last year I started going downhill again, didn’t even start drinking again, just started going down

    Quit my last job cuz I fuked it up and it got to be too much. Now starting a new one. I just know I’m gonna fuk it up. I’m gonna disappoint everyone and myself. I’m gonna alienate everyone, and nobody is gonna like me.


    I can only keep doing this for so long. I’m really trying but just fukin suck at everything man I can’t do anything right, ded srs I’ve never been good at anything.

    Why can’t someone just murder me or something? Like srsly or why can’t I choose to just leave this life?

    Why do I have to stay here trapped?


    I don’t even count how many days sober I am anymore, it doesn’t even matter. Who cares?
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  17. #17
    Registered User LuigiMiami631's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by YeahImMad View Post
    Come on now, don't talk like this. You are worth more you are not chit. This is really important to understand.

    No homo
    Well look who it is. Haven't seen you in like forever.

    And OP, it's been over. NOt just for you but for everyone.

    Cookie will always crumble.

    Just make the best of what you got and just live life right now.

    Live.Laugh.Love
    Eat My Shortz
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  18. #18
    отличнo! Maestro's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ausaric View Post
    Already lost confidence in self 10x, already failed, no zeal for life, nothing to live for except to minimize suffering, hate my appearance, hate my personality, hate how I talk, how I move, how I do everything, hate everything about myself.
    .
    you hate your appearance/personality/how you talk/how you move

    How do you expect to look?
    What kind of personality do you want?
    How do you want to talk?
    How do you want to move?

    If you start naming off people you want to look and sound and move like, then you've already failed. If everyone behaved like one single person, life would be boring The things that make you different are what make you stand out (in a good way). If you try to act like "someone else" people will pick up on that. Its a HUGE cliche, but you'll be more comfortable if you just be yourself.

    As for the whole cancer thing. There are over a dozen different reasons why you may have blood in your stool. If you're under the age of 35 then its highly unlikely its cancer.

    -What color is the blood? If its dark then its coming from much further up in your intestine or even from your stomach (an ulcer=fix your diet)
    -If its bright red and only shows up as a "streak" on your stool that means you have a hemorrhoid or an internal fissure from straining too hard
    -If you have loose blood, it could be a polyp (which are mostly benign) that got torn
    -Or it could actually be a food item you're eating and you don't even know it. If you eat beets raw, your toilet can look like a murder scene.

    As for your anxiousness and not wanting to do anything...Everyday make an effort to do one thing outside of your comfort zone. Ride your bicycle, walk through a busy park read a book at a public library, just be in public around people. Over time you'll get use to it and you won't feel so awkward...in fact you'll realize that everyone is weird and awkward. Its just that you are hyper-aware of your awkwardness.
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  19. #19
    Wanker M8 YeahImMad's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by nothingshocking View Post
    Why are you so mad?
    On spread with you from like 5 years ago lmao srs
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  20. #20
    Anything I want. U mirin? OptimusTrajan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ausaric View Post
    Bright red blood bro

    And yes I’m starting a new job and I’m chitting blood and I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed

    And my life has not gone too well the past 5-10 years

    I am just expecting that things will keep getting worse
    That means it's less serious. Could be a hemorrhoid or something. Go see your doctor.
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  21. #21
    6'0" 200 nothingshocking's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by YeahImMad View Post
    On spread with you from like 5 years ago lmao srs
    good to see you back
    I'm just a white guy from the future, I'm completely out of touch

    This machine is obsolete
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  22. #22
    Banned uhohspaghetteos's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GaryRidgway View Post
    Yes sir. I've given up on life sir.
    I thought you were a soldier of Christ
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    autistic engineer fate0311's Avatar
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    addy comedown at end of day explains all this. depression, agiation.
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    Cable 12 Channel83's Avatar
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    Starting a new job is always overwhelming unless you're a high flyer type, don't worry on that front, just give it time.
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    ☦︎ BasedBagel's Avatar
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    Could worse OP, imagine you lived in the UK
    Tsar Ivan IV Grozny:

    “And if you, having a dog's mouth, want to bark for fun—that's your custom as a serf: it is an honor to you, but it is disgrace for us to think of you, let alone to snarl back at you, and there is naught worse in this world than to bark along with you, and if you want to bark, find yourself a serf like you, and bark with him."
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    Common sense/moderation. gbullock32's Avatar
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    I'm just cruising through life at this point, mindless self indulgence and little else. Been pretty fun.
    Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
    1/13/16: Massive hernia.
    5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.

    Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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    Still Alive Ausaric's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by fate0311 View Post
    addy comedown at end of day explains all this. depression, agiation.
    I haven’t taken a single dose of addy in like 2 weeks bro I’m saving it for when my job starts

    I’m only in training today and next week

    I’m saving it for when I need it

    Bet you didn’t expect that? I took the addy for several days and then stopped. I can take it whenever I want, and stop whenever I want, and when I took it I felt fine


    The addy is my last resort to help improve my behavior and level of function. It could be a godsend for me. Like a diabetic requiring insulin. My brain lacks prefrontal cortex activity and dopamine production.
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    Registered User TheScapeGOAT's Avatar
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    Have you considered eating mushrooms?
    Never negged anyone crew
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    Registered User OT2000's Avatar
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    You just need to care more about the time you have before you become nothing more than fertilizer. Cherish it, make it amazing through everything.
    Your nutrition and workout program determines your success.

    FL and NC crew. Lol @ living in PA. Just LOL.
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  30. #30
    Make The Misc Great Again 8pieces's Avatar
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    OP i thought you loved your barista job? also if you're chitting red it's something you ate or hemorrhoids if you had bleeding in your gut it would be black
    She was the best man
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