Gf threw out the marriage word

[bsrkoacar2]

This all happened

My view from yesterday morning before work. She's vice pres of sales of a global internet security company

[lightsarefallin]

Some couples get married just for the symbolic nature of marriage, the experience, the event itself. It's a pretty legendary party. We invited all of our friends and lots of family we never really see. My wife and I planed our wedding ourselves. We did it all from the venue location, decorating, organization, centerpieces, etc. I even "DJ'd" my own wedding. Made my dinner playlist, the dancing playlist. We drank and partied till 4am until the hotel kicked us out of the room lol.

The place we rented for the wedding was an old rustic hotel and I played literally Skyrim tavern music during the dinner. I brewed a massive batch of mead and served that.

Be open to it, don't be scared, communicate openly with each other, make sure you're on the same page. It can be a tremendous amount of fun.

[MikeLowrrrey]

I've read this story plot a million times.

-Man doesnt want to get married

-Moves in with woman

-Woman pressures man to get married

[Titansfan08]

If I got divorced no chance I'm getting remarried since I already have kids. You don't want any and you're both already divorced before? 0 chance. Just will be a big mess if it doesn't work out again. Still give my dad chit as he got remarried at like 60 and now he's unhappy and knows she will take him for everything if they get divorced so he just stays miserable with her, sounds great!

[bsrkoacar2]

Some couples get married just for the symbolic nature of marriage, the experience, the event itself. It's a pretty legendary party. We invited all of our friends and lots of family we never really see. My wife and I planed our wedding ourselves. We did it all from the venue location, decorating, organization, centerpieces, etc. I even "DJ'd" my own wedding. Made my dinner playlist, the dancing playlist. We drank and partied till 4am until the hotel kicked us out of the room lol.

The place we rented for the wedding was an old rustic hotel and I played literally Skyrim tavern music during the dinner. I brewed a massive batch of mead and served that.

Be open to it, don't be scared, communicate openly with each other, make sure you're on the same page. It can be a tremendous amount of fun.

Solid input

[bsrkoacar2]

If I got divorced no chance I'm getting remarried since I already have kids. You don't want any and you're both already divorced before? 0 chance. Just will be a big mess if it doesn't work out again. Still give my dad chit as he got remarried at like 60 and now he's unhappy and knows she will take him for everything if they get divorced so he just stays miserable with her, sounds great!

I've never been married or divorced. She was for like 8 years but the dude started drinking crazy and then got violent and had affairs. Can't really blame her part.

[FarmersSon]

You've shared enough about her over the years (how you get along, similar desires in life, etc.) that I see no downside for you marrying her. A lot of guys worry about the financial side and risk associated with divorce, but she's a high earner so it doesn't apply.

[Scarrdbutsmartr]

Buy a ring, go get your a** kicked and report back OP...

The best lessons in life are learned the hard way.


I'm Gen X. The women in my generation are still somewhat traditional. Out of all my friends I know, TWO are happily married. Now imagine attempting marriage with a women of this generation. The odds that you find hapiness/success hover around zero. But definetly, go learn the hard way.


Im not anti-marriage. I'm anti-marriage in this dumpster fire of a society.

[Scarrdbutsmartr]

I don't understand this thread. The conventional wisdom doesn't apply at all so why are all you dummies spouting it?

The risk involved with marriage is losing half your chit and children.

OP's GF makes much more money than him and they don't want kids. I'm not seeing any downside for OP so IDK why even make a thread, just do it if you want, no need to overthink this one.

Are you married? Im asking because the risk is FAR greater than losing half your chit and children.

You are trapped in a house and live a life with this person. They can literally destroy your emotional and mental well-being. They can and will control you, manipulate you and make your life miserable. As an old guy, half my friends who are divorced are shells of themselves and the financials are only part of it. Living a life with zero peace is a terrible place to be.

I am happily married for 25 years so I do have a degree of separation.

[BK909]

I've never been married or divorced. She was for like 8 years but the dude started drinking crazy and then got violent and had affairs. Can't really blame her part.

Yeah it's always his fault...
Nothing last forever but you got a good thing going so do what's necessary to keep it going.

[Scarrdbutsmartr]

I don't disagree with this. But the relevant point is, a GF can do that to you too. OP is already living with his GF. So then what difference does it make changing the status from GF to wife? The difference is legal/financial and as mentioned, OP's GF has much more money so he should be in the clear.

It appears you disagree with the first part of the sentence and potentially not the second part.

To answer your questions if you are married and you just walk away from a home there are legal and financial repercussions. Its considered abandonment and it definitely plays into any divorce and the associated outcome.

If you have kids and leave the house, forget about it. You are cooked. The courts would rather you live in the house in a war like environment rather than "abandon" the home and kids. Its game over or at least it has been for everyone of my friends that made this dumb move.

* I cant speak to the what happens in an apartment situation but my comments were based upon having a home/mortgage



****Edit - Did you edit your comment? Because I may have answered a position you dont hold - LULZ. I am on no sleep

[bsrkoacar2]

Buy a ring, go get your a** kicked and report back OP...

The best lessons in life are learned the hard way.


I'm Gen X. The women in my generation are still somewhat traditional. Out of all my friends I know, TWO are happily married. Now imagine attempting marriage with a women of this generation. The odds that you find hapiness/success hover around zero. But definetly, go learn the hard way.


Im not anti-marriage. I'm anti-marriage in this dumpster fire of a society.

She is gen x. She's a bit older than me, I tried dating a lot of girls 19-35 and drove me crazy. She's fairly traditional and conservative

[AncientYouth]

OP is basically the toy of a damaged but wealthy older woman who is keepingh him around with money, marry her and when it inveitably falls apart, which has over a 70% liklehood take what you can get and GTAF.

you aint kidding no one with this chit brah

[bsrkoacar2]

OP is basically the toy of a damaged but wealthy older woman who is keepingh him around with money, marry her and when it inveitably falls apart, which has over a 70% liklehood take what you can get and GTAF.

you aint kidding no one with this chit brah

Lmfao nah. We have a lot in common and she's not damaged.