Serious question about Anorexia - severe weight drop and gain along years.

[deez00x]

Hello Folks,
I'm a 34 y/o male (1.74 height) who suffered from Anorexia since childhood.
For the last 8 years I have been dealing with weight loss and developed severe Back/Legs issues, Chronic pain which ruins my life.

Untill the age of 25 I was fighting the Anorexia, tried to eat decent and focus on Protein, I have maintained a decent weight of 63/64 Kg's and was working out at gym - developed a nice body (while dealing with eating disorders) untill those years "Things were ok".

Since age of 25 I had few issues in life and in 2-3 years I have lost about 10 Kg's from 64 to about 53 Kg's.

I have been with that 53/54 weight for few years untill age of 31. I have realized also that my weight went down mostly from my Legs, means My upper body, chest, arms, sholders and especially my Belly were just "thin/fit" while my Legs became HALF of my upper body.

Last 2 years I realized this situation ruined my life and I have started "fighting" the Anorexia again.
I have just became 59/60 Kg BUT, It seems when I gain weight it comes to the upper body! as mentioned: Chest, Arms, Sholders and especially my Belly. it seems my legs do not "Grow". (If you will look at me you won't be able to tell this guy is anorexic, only the legs are very thin/narrow)

Is it possible that all this years I have Fuc**d something in my body? my metabolism?
My legs just wouldn't gain weight, As an Anorexic its very hard for me to see only the Belly growing, but the Legs which are very very weak and un-stable, staying about the same.

Could I have done an "irreversible" act to my body?

I know some would say I must ask doctors but I did,
I told those things to doctors and we have done many Blood-work's and Urine-test. As far as the results Doctors says everything is seems to be "normal", Hormones, Testosterone, Prolactin, FSH... and more.. those are some things they mentioned.

I know there are proffessional people here that might have had an experience or heard about things like this so I have decided to ask.

I would really appreciate your help guys, really.
Thank you and sorry for the long post.

[SuicideGripMe]

First, congratulations for dealing with your condition and making positive strides to overcome this.

Now, body dysmorphia is a real thing. What you see in the mirror may not be the case.... At your height/weight, you are rather "light" to see significant muscle mass in the legs. I am 34 and 174 cm as well, and it usually takes me to be about 80 kg to see real musculature on my legs. Therefore, you need to increase your calories and protein in a controlled manner. Additionally, your training should reflect these goals with an emphasis on squatting and hinging patterns.

Given your history, I would recommend doing this under the guidance of a health professional. Bulking may cause some triggers for you and you should be aware, prepared, and have discussions with your health care provider about how to cope with this as they arise.

I truly wish you the best of luck and hope you consider working with a professional rather than trying to do this alone.

[deez00x]

First, congratulations for dealing with your condition and making positive strides to overcome this.

Now, body dysmorphia is a real thing. What you see in the mirror may not be the case.... At your height/weight, you are rather "light" to see significant muscle mass in the legs. I am 34 and 174 cm as well, and it usually takes me to be about 80 kg to see real musculature on my legs. Therefore, you need to increase your calories and protein in a controlled manner. Additionally, your training should reflect these goals with an emphasis on squatting and hinging patterns.

Given your history, I would recommend doing this under the guidance of a health professional. Bulking may cause some triggers for you and you should be aware, prepared, and have discussions with your health care provider about how to cope with this as they arise.

I truly wish you the best of luck and hope you consider working with a professional rather than trying to do this alone.

Thank you very much for replying mate!

Nowdays I'm accompanied by Physiotherapist, Psychotherapist. I was just scared I have ****** my body to a non-return position

[OldFartTom]

Congratulations that you are going in the right direction and taken a decision that you're going to beat this

If anything I say contradicts any advice from any of your therapists ignore me I'm just an unqualified internet weirdo.

Yes, when you first start to gain weight you will see this more on your stomach, happens to all of us but growing muscle is "expensive" on the body and takes a lot of energy (Google how many calories needed to grow 1lb of muscle if you ever get bored). When your body is struggling with low energy you make growing muscle even harder, some people use the example of cycling into the wind.

Now your body has a bit more energy available it can only now start to do stuff like growing muscle, so now your weight is better you can start the building up the legs. It's
going to be slow, anyone who says it can be fast and has one weird trick or shortcut is selling you something But now is the start, providing you can meet your therapists weight targets you can get your body in the right environment to gain.

Good news is the legs has many of the big muscles in the body, gluteals, quads, hamstrings. You need some squats to parallel or better (as long as no injuries/medical reasons not to) but you want less amount of reps with higher resistance, like 5 sets of 5 reps, not a million air squats or you might make them smaller muscles

Get on a good beginner program (even though you aren't a beginner in the gym) that includes "big" lifts like squats and overhead press and deadlift etc etc and keep on keeping on going!!

Good luck, work hard and stay well

[deez00x]

Congratulations that you are going in the right direction and taken a decision that you're going to beat this

If anything I say contradicts any advice from any of your therapists ignore me I'm just an unqualified internet weirdo.

Yes, when you first start to gain weight you will see this more on your stomach, happens to all of us but growing muscle is "expensive" on the body and takes a lot of energy (Google how many calories needed to grow 1lb of muscle if you ever get bored). When your body is struggling with low energy you make growing muscle even harder, some people use the example of cycling into the wind.

Now your body has a bit more energy available it can only now start to do stuff like growing muscle, so now your weight is better you can start the building up the legs. It's
going to be slow, anyone who says it can be fast and has one weird trick or shortcut is selling you something But now is the start, providing you can meet your therapists weight targets you can get your body in the right environment to gain.

Good news is the legs has many of the big muscles in the body, gluteals, quads, hamstrings. You need some squats to parallel or better (as long as no injuries/medical reasons not to) but you want less amount of reps with higher resistance, like 5 sets of 5 reps, not a million air squats or you might make them smaller muscles

Get on a good beginner program (even though you aren't a beginner in the gym) that includes "big" lifts like squats and overhead press and deadlift etc etc and keep on keeping on going!!

Good luck, work hard and stay well

I do know some about nutrition&bodybuild, actually I was learning ALOT at Bodybuilding.com when I was 16 y'o fighting the anorexia. I've rad many articles, even the 5X5 program which back then was really famous for power/muscle growth.
I have some pain that would not allow me to work-out as I used to back then (Weighted Squats/Bench/Shoulder Press). I start to get some energy indeed but it seems my body feels "fraguile" and doing such feels painful (If I go pass weight like 1-2-5 Kg / Depends on exercise).
But it is good to know that I SHOULD do those things in a controlled manner with probably low weights. I must say that my Upper body has some muscle mass, Im 59Kg now but I have a wide/pumped Chest, Biceps/triceps and also abs but they'r starting to get "blurred"... hehehe... But I have to suck it in.

Thank you mate, appreciated!