Girls Without A Father? Is It A Red Flag

[BulletDodged]

So we have all heard of Daddy Issue's..

I never used to consider this to be a red flag, however a couple of experiences recently, with two girls, who where raised without a father in the home, has definitely changed my mind.

Both raised by single moms, no father in the home.

Both had quite high body counts, had anger issues, seemed unstable, both addicted to social media and attention.

Both had lots a male friends.

I looked into this matter on YouTube & I am getting to the impression, girls with daddy issues are pretty dangerous to get into relationships with.

Often they have trauma and they are likely to be BPD.

Anyone else experienced this, or dealt with girls without fathers or just a very beta father?

What was your experience?

[skinnyfat88]

If other red flags are blatantly obvious, just continue to look for those and make your decisions accordingly.

If a girl exhibits none of those other red flags, I wouldn't be skeptical due to no father.

[BulletDodged]

If other red flags are blatantly obvious, just continue to look for those and make your decisions accordingly.

If a girl exhibits none of those other red flags, I wouldn't be skeptical due to no father.

That's my point.. they all seem to have a bunch of other red flags too.

This seems to be a common theme with girls being raised without a father.

[GreenMintTea]

BPD as in bipolar or borderline personality disorder?

[RayBoccini]

Always huge sloots with all the traits you raised. I always assume they have BPD by default now, as has been my experience.

[BulletDodged]

Always huge sloots with all the traits you raised. I always assume they have BPD by default now, as has been my experience.

Yeh I notice pretty much immediately something isn't right about them.

They seem unstable, volatile & literally always have multiple red flags.

I think because they didn't have daddies love, they go out on the streets and fuk lots of men, in order to get the fatherly connection.

The one I dealt with recently had 13 bodies by age 24.. That's pretty damn high already.

[Murph0408]

my experience - issues with immediate family play a heavy role once you start ACTUALLY dating.

i don't mean sleeping around, oh daddy issues, she's been in bed with too many guys etc. that's surface level BS. i mean once you actually share life with somebody, and they don't have a good relationship with one of their parents, it can really effect how she is towards you at home. day to day things, minor beefs turn into major fights, incapable of sharing responsibilities, etc.

i don't know if it's just a dad thing or missing a parent in general. but it proves to be a serious challenge down the road.

it is also not up to YOU to fix or deal with these things. it is up to her (or any partner in general really, man or woman) to figure this stuff out and see somebody or go through some kind of process in order to have their own peace and happiness at home vs blaming everything on a deadbeat dad from 20 years ago and being a jerk to their partner.

[BulletDodged]

my experience - issues with immediate family play a heavy role once you start ACTUALLY dating.

i don't mean sleeping around, oh daddy issues, she's been in bed with too many guys etc. that's surface level BS. i mean once you actually share life with somebody, and they don't have a good relationship with one of their parents, it can really effect how she is towards you at home. day to day things, minor beefs turn into major fights, incapable of sharing responsibilities, etc.

i don't know if it's just a dad thing or missing a parent in general. but it proves to be a serious challenge down the road.

it is also not up to YOU to fix or deal with these things. it is up to her (or any partner in general really, man or woman) to figure this stuff out and see somebody or go through some kind of process in order to have their own peace and happiness at home vs blaming everything on a deadbeat dad from 20 years ago and being a jerk to their partner.

From the research I have done, it seems like a girl being raised by a single mom and no father in the picture, has a huge negative effect on the girls development & how she percieves men in a relationship.

For example, girls who don't have a father, tend to seek that protection/fatherly masculine love, from boys or men in the street.

Quite often these girls will begin having sex very early on, and they tend to be attracted to much older men.

I think it's pretty obvious, if a girl is having sex very early with older men, she is going to experience heartbreak, she might even get used by some men, and likely she will end up with a bunch of trauma.

The other problem is, if she lacked discipline growing up, because father was not around to set boundaries & keep an eye on her, then it's very likely she will not know how to behave right with you.

She is likely to reject your authority, or challenge your leadership, she will probably hate being told what to do, as she never had a male figure set boundaries on her growing up.

Most girls who I know of , and a couple of them who I dated who didn't have a father, I realised very quickly, had behaviour issues, they had a serious mistrust of men, and they slept around quite alot, had tattoos and littrialy are running wild.

I personally believe it's a bad bet, to get involved with a girl who comes from a broken home, and especially who was raised without a father.

[redliner9]

my experience - issues with immediate family play a heavy role once you start ACTUALLY dating.

i don't mean sleeping around, oh daddy issues, she's been in bed with too many guys etc. that's surface level BS. i mean once you actually share life with somebody, and they don't have a good relationship with one of their parents, it can really effect how she is towards you at home. day to day things, minor beefs turn into major fights, incapable of sharing responsibilities, etc.

i don't know if it's just a dad thing or missing a parent in general. but it proves to be a serious challenge down the road.

it is also not up to YOU to fix or deal with these things. it is up to her (or any partner in general really, man or woman) to figure this stuff out and see somebody or go through some kind of process in order to have their own peace and happiness at home vs blaming everything on a deadbeat dad from 20 years ago and being a jerk to their partner.

Growing up without a father figure and a crappy mom has definitely caused me issues in relationships.

Mostly not increasing my level of trust in someone, "believe it when i see it" attitude.

The biggest red flag is the mostly male friends, its never worked out well for me.

[BulletDodged]

Growing up without a father figure and a crappy mom has definitely caused me issues in relationships.

Mostly not increasing my level of trust in someone, "believe it when i see it" attitude.

The biggest red flag is the mostly male friends, its never worked out well for me.

Are you talking about yourself here?

I think for a girl to be raised without a father would have much more severe effect on her than a male.

Men are designed to be able to handle tolerate trauma. Trauma breaks a woman.

[skinnyfat88]

Are you talking about yourself here?

I think for a girl to be raised without a father would have much more severe effect on her than a male.

Men are designed to be able to handle tolerate trauma. Trauma breaks a woman.

I agree with the first part in the sense that if a girl is raised without a father, there's a good chance she has no longterm father figure either and/or their mother instills an attitude of negativity towards men.
A boy raised without a father may still find that "father figure/male comradery" through other avenues and thus not have as severe longterm trauma.

I disagree with the second part. Don't statistics back up the fact that more men are depressed/commit suicide than women?

[BulletDodged]

I agree with the first part in the sense that if a girl is raised without a father, there's a good chance she has no longterm father figure either and/or their mother instills an attitude of negativity towards men.
A boy raised without a father may still find that "father figure/male comradery" through other avenues and thus not have as severe longterm trauma.

I disagree with the second part. Don't statistics back up the fact that more men are depressed/commit suicide than women?

Yes men do commit suicide more in comparison to women.. That's because a man's life is much harder than a attractive females life.. I can't make a living out of selling feet pics on OF.. But in general a man can deal with alot more mentally than a female can.. Often struggle & trauma strengthens the man & motivates him to excel & succeed.

The ones that delete themselves are the exception.

Females end up broken due to traumatic or very stressful experiences.. They might not top themselves, as they are not as brave as men are... But they do live in misery with cats & dogs.

[LargePeter]

The whole "has heaps of male friends" is a massive cope mechanism from incels who have no friends at all.

Do you have a lot of male friends OP? You probably get fuked in the ass a lot.

Having a lot of friends of the opposite sex doesn't necessarily mean the person with all the friends is automatically railing said friends.

If you didn't spend all day on the internet watching p0rn and making alts on bodybuilding messageboards to cry about how you never get poosy, you'd realise normal functional people,

a. can have friends, both of the same and opposite sex, and
b. women aren't automatically getting nailed by anything with a c0ck

That said, I love nurses with daddy issues - a taste developed because there's a training facility for nurses and new surgeons at a hospital near me and they sometimes train at my gym and they hang out at the bars and chit nearby - and they are all disgraceful hooars. It's magnificient.

[skinnyfat88]

The whole "has heaps of male friends" is a massive cope mechanism from incels who have no friends at all.

Having a lot of friends of the opposite sex doesn't necessarily mean the person with all the friends is automatically railing said friends.

Normal functional people,

a. can have friends, both of the same and opposite sex, and
b. women aren't automatically getting nailed by anything with a c0ck

Yes, men and woman can be friends.
No, it doesn't count when the dude wants to sleep with the woman. That's not a genuine friendship and people should look for genuine friendship outside of these situations.
Definitely a red flag when women don't have a solid group of genuine friends and think their orbiters are their besties. It's something they might grow out of when they're young but if a woman pushing 30 is still like this... no bueno.

[Zackad]

I agree with the first part in the sense that if a girl is raised without a father, there's a good chance she has no longterm father figure either and/or their mother instills an attitude of negativity towards men.
A boy raised without a father may still find that "father figure/male comradery" through other avenues and thus not have as severe longterm trauma.

I disagree with the second part. Don't statistics back up the fact that more men are depressed/commit suicide than women?

i believe the statistic is that more men successfully commit suicide, but females attempt it more. That's because men usually choose more effective/lethal methods, like guns.

[sowilson]

I have a young friend (24) who's father died when she was six. Mom turned to alcohol and couldn't raise my friend or her brother so they were wards of the state (mom has since sobered up but is pretty useless). She didn't have a father, or responsible mother, for most of her life and failed to learn a lot of basic life skills. Having said that, she has a low body count (2) is hard working and industrious and seeks my advice and listens to it (budgeting, what to save for, what's important, etc). Despite a hard upbringing she's a beautiful young lady, respectful, smart, stands up for herself, and is a lot of fun to know. So yes, there are some red flags but there are a lot of good qualities. She will make someone a good life partner someday. You have to NOT overgeneralize things. Everyone and every situation is different. Good people can result from dodgy situations so judge each one on their own merit.

[BulletDodged]

I have a young friend (24) who's father died when she was six. Mom turned to alcohol and couldn't raise my friend or her brother so they were wards of the state (mom has since sobered up but is pretty useless). She didn't have a father, or responsible mother, for most of her life and failed to learn a lot of basic life skills. Having said that, she has a low body count (2) is hard working and industrious and seeks my advice and listens to it (budgeting, what to save for, what's important, etc). Despite a hard upbringing she's a beautiful young lady, respectful, smart, stands up for herself, and is a lot of fun to know. So yes, there are some red flags but there are a lot of good qualities. She will make someone a good life partner someday. You have to NOT overgeneralize things. Everyone and every situation is different. Good people can result from dodgy situations so judge each one on their own merit.

What you are pointing out there, is a rare exception.

Exceptions do not make the rule.

It's nice to hear that she is doing well, however it's a rarity.

Most boys who turn out to be criminals, tend to come from single mom households.

Most girls who end up promescious, stripper's or just damaged, also tend to come from single mom households.

There is a ton of data to back what I am saying.

Obviously you will get the odd cases, outliers like what you have pointed out.

[sowilson]

What you are pointing out there, is a rare exception.

Exceptions do not make the rule.

It's nice to hear that she is doing well, however it's a rarity.

Most boys who turn out to be criminals, tend to come from single mom households.

Most girls who end up promescious, stripper's or just damaged, also tend to come from single mom households.

There is a ton of data to back what I am saying.

Obviously you will get the odd cases, outliers like what you have pointed out.

Depends where the person is from and the culture they grew up in. My friend I believe received decent support from the society that she and her brother grew up in which is why they've turned out well (eastern Europe). Yes, some red flags and some baggage but that hasn't overwhelmed them. I think it's fine to be leery of the red flags but not to dismiss people out of hand. Besides working in IT I'm also a musician so I hang out with a lot of musicians and other creative types. A whole lot of the creative people I know are somewhat bi-polar (to varying degrees, some rather severe) which can make relationships challenging but workable. You just need to learn how to deal with their issues from their disease.