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  1. #1
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Is it easier to be the dumper or the dumpee?

    What do you think guys?

    Personally I think for a man, being the Dumper is very difficult too.

    I really don't believe a man would dump his girlfriend, unless she was doing something really bad/toxic/deal breaker.

    Men tend not to do the breaking up, as it's alot harder for us to find a replacement girl.

    However being treated like crap, then getting dumped by a chick, must be the worst feeling.
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  2. #2
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    I'm good either way.
    If one party isn't feeling it then both should be able to go their separate ways and pursue someone who is on the same page.
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  3. #3
    Fuk off, Lahey! LargePeter's Avatar
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    Dumper is GOAT because it's all you

    Dumpee is great too because you can guilt trip the fuk out of the dumper, and tell everyone how bad of a person they are

    Make every situation work to your benefit
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  4. #4
    WOATbrah of peace :) sooby's Avatar
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    depends on the situation but i think generally it's easier if you are the dumper

    chances are as the dumper you've had a lot of time to think about it after awhile, that you have already somewhat made peace with your decision and that you determined that person aint the one.

    if it is the person getting dumped, it may come all of a sudden and thus harder to process. and even harder if that person actually liked them. being rejected than being the rejector in most cases is gonna sting more.
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  5. #5
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sooby View Post
    depends on the situation but i think generally it's easier if you are the dumper

    chances are as the dumper you've had a lot of time to think about it after awhile, that you have already somewhat made peace with your decision and that you determined that person aint the one.

    if it is the person getting dumped, it may come all of a sudden and thus harder to process. and even harder if that person actually liked them. being rejected than being the rejector in most cases is gonna sting more.
    I believe when a man dumps a girl it's still very difficult.

    Men very rarely dump girls, especially when she is hot. In most cases men are FORCED to dump a girl, because she is crazy or an absolute pain to deal with.

    But overall I think the dumper has it a little easier, as they keep the power.

    I had to get rid of my ex, told her to leave my house, due to her constant combative/agressive attitude.

    And sometimes being disrespectful.

    But hard the break up is for me, I am certain if she had Dumped me, it would have felt much worse lol
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  6. #6
    Registered User cavillac's Avatar
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    If you dump a woman in this day and age it is at your own peril. You never know what allegations could be lobbed against you. Best thing to do would be to start being a dink to her and let her dump you. However that might make her start acting right too so beware.
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  7. #7
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cavillac View Post
    If you dump a woman in this day and age it is at your own peril. You never know what allegations could be lobbed against you. Best thing to do would be to start being a dink to her and let her dump you. However that might make her start acting right too so beware.
    Well dumping a girl doesn't necessarily mean you officially dump her.

    You can simply just walk away and not contact her again.
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  8. #8
    Registered User hammerman1964's Avatar
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    Being dumped is the worst. Even though I wanted to dump her, I waited and she dumped me. It was so hurt by it because I wanted on my own accord. And it hurts you mentally. She was perfectly fine, but I was mentally devastated.
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  9. #9
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hammerman1964 View Post
    Being dumped is the worst. Even though I wanted to dump her, I waited and she dumped me. It was so hurt by it because I wanted on my own accord. And it hurts you mentally. She was perfectly fine, but I was mentally devastated.
    Sorry to hear that man, hope you're on the road to recovery.

    Myself I am pretty quick on the trigger.

    I have a good sense for recognising if a girls behaviour isn't right, or if she draining me with drama and stress.

    My ex was damaged and had a crap load of red flags. Literally about 8 of them.

    When she pushed me too far, I didn't hesitate. I instigated the break up, removed her and her family from my social media.

    Been NC near enough 3 months.

    Now some times has passed by, I am super glad I did the dumping, as I realise she was not a good bet for a long term commitment.

    Just way too many red flags, and she had anger issues, always combative and argumentive etc.

    Still hurts to dump a super hot chick.. but it's better than being dumped and discarded.
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  10. #10
    Registered User sam212's Avatar
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    Being dumped by a beautiful woman is the worst, even if you’re a high tier dude. The reason she’s your GF is because she’s likely way better than most other women you entertained. It’s difficult if she dumps you because it’ll be pretty difficult to replace a woman of that caliber. Yeah you can line up a roster to fuk, but if she was beautiful and high tier, you’ll be pretty devastated.
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  11. #11
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sam212 View Post
    Being dumped by a beautiful woman is the worst, even if you’re a high tier dude. The reason she’s your GF is because she’s likely way better than most other women you entertained. It’s difficult if she dumps you because it’ll be pretty difficult to replace a woman of that caliber. Yeah you can line up a roster to fuk, but if she was beautiful and high tier, you’ll be pretty devastated.
    Yeh man it's not easy.

    My ex was age 24

    Slim, fit body, wanted to have babies with me, however she was toxic.

    Had depression, very combative agressive, argumentive.

    I had to dump her, as she would have screwed me up down the line.

    It's not going to be easy to replace her, but it's either being with a girl who is damaged and ruins your life.

    Or single with a roster of average chicks
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  12. #12
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BulletDodged View Post
    Yeh man it's not easy.

    My ex was age 24

    Slim, fit body, wanted to have babies with me, however she was toxic.

    Had depression, very combative agressive, argumentive.

    I had to dump her, as she would have screwed me up down the line.

    It's not going to be easy to replace her, but it's either being with a girl who is damaged and ruins your life.

    Or single with a roster of average chicks
    Everyone has their own struggles when it comes to breakups but you're referencing a toxic and emotionally unstable person so you know you're better off without her in the long run.

    I think the poster above is talking about when a breakup occurs with a real quality person who checks all the boxes but it ultimately didn't work out. Those can be tough for some to move on from because in their mind they could've been the one and nothing needed to change in order to do so (other than the dumper reciprocating their desire to be with them).
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  13. #13
    Registered User sam212's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Everyone has their own struggles when it comes to breakups but you're referencing a toxic and emotionally unstable person so you know you're better off without her in the long run.

    I think the poster above is talking about when a breakup occurs with a real quality person who checks all the boxes but it ultimately didn't work out. Those can be tough for some to move on from because in their mind they could've been the one and nothing needed to change in order to do so (other than the dumper reciprocating their desire to be with them).
    Agree. I don’t even engage with unstable women. Doesn’t matter how hot. I have definitely been on the other side though, dating a totally stable and chill, hot woman and she ended it after 7 months because she couldn’t see us working out in the long run and didn’t see being married to me. That messed me up for a while, but all you can do is move forward. Still kinda stings because she was pretty awesome.
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  14. #14
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sam212 View Post
    Agree. I don’t even engage with unstable women. Doesn’t matter how hot. I have definitely been on the other side though, dating a totally stable and chill, hot woman and she ended it after 7 months because she couldn’t see us working out in the long run and didn’t see being married to me. That messed me up for a while, but all you can do is move forward. Still kinda stings because she was pretty awesome.
    I need to get to the place where you are.

    I got involved with a girl who was on/off anti depressants and mood swings.

    Luckily I saw the light 8-9 months in and Dumped her, before too much damage is done.

    I get you though, if she hot, stable and a nice person to be around, it's very tough be Dumped in that situation.
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  15. #15
    Keanu Reeves Checking In Zackad's Avatar
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    Personally I find it much easier to be the dumpee than the dumper.

    My pride won't let me get hung up on someone who no longer wants to be with me. Sure it'll be a bummer and the transition period will suck, but it's much easier to mentally and emotionally separate from them that way.

    If I'm the one doing the dumping...i tend to second guess myself, let their guilt trips factor in, talk myself out of it, come up with compromises, etc. Even when I know without a doubt the correct move, I'll still fight to find other alternatives. Then there's the eternal "what-if" that plagues constantly, as well as endless guilt if the ex was not in a good place in her life, or struggling in some form or another.

    For example...my last ex and I broke up because she wants kids in a year, i don't know if I want them at all. I'd tried breaking up with her much earlier, and backtracked thinking I could be more open to the idea, and we just needed time. When she broke up with me for the same reason, I had no issue walking away. But when it was me doing it...not as easy.
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  16. #16
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zackad View Post
    Personally I find it much easier to be the dumpee than the dumper.

    My pride won't let me get hung up on someone who no longer wants to be with me. Sure it'll be a bummer and the transition period will suck, but it's much easier to mentally and emotionally separate from them that way.

    If I'm the one doing the dumping...i tend to second guess myself, let their guilt trips factor in, talk myself out of it, come up with compromises, etc. Even when I know without a doubt the correct move, I'll still fight to find other alternatives. Then there's the eternal "what-if" that plagues constantly, as well as endless guilt if the ex was not in a good place in her life, or struggling in some form or another.

    For example...my last ex and I broke up because she wants kids in a year, i don't know if I want them at all. I'd tried breaking up with her much earlier, and backtracked thinking I could be more open to the idea, and we just needed time. When she broke up with me for the same reason, I had no issue walking away. But when it was me doing it...not as easy.

    Yeh I have been on both sides of the coin.

    Generally when I have been the dumpee, I had no choice but to suck it up, it hurt like crap, but I had to move on.

    On this occasion I was the dumper, because I was dealing with a toxic person.

    I didn't actually officially dump her, I simply asked her to leave my house, and we never spoke again.

    I had the same struggle, second guessing myself decision etc.

    But with a toxic person, sometimes walking away or Dumping is the only choice.
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  17. #17
    Registered User Tuksonrider's Avatar
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    Dumpee by far is the easiest.

    I don't get messy being dumped. Soldier on.

    Really messes me up when I have to be the dumper.
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  18. #18
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tuksonrider View Post
    Dumpee by far is the easiest.

    I don't get messy being dumped. Soldier on.

    Really messes me up when I have to be the dumper.
    Why does it mess you up
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  19. #19
    Registered User Evolutionary1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BulletDodged View Post
    Why does it mess you up
    cause he'a pusss y
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  20. #20
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Evolutionary1 View Post
    cause he'a pusss y
    Lol
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  21. #21
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    Originally Posted by BulletDodged View Post
    Why does it mess you up
    I feel guilty about it. Simple as that.
    Out of every one hundred men,
    ten shouldn't even be there,
    eighty are just targets,
    nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle.
    Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.
    ― Heraclitus
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  22. #22
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tuksonrider View Post
    I feel guilty about it. Simple as that.
    Should only feel guilty about it if you hung on for a substantial period of time after you knew she was not the one for you.

    You're doing them a favor in the long run by letting them go so they can go find someone who wants them back.
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  23. #23
    Registered User BulletDodged's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Should only feel guilty about it if you hung on for a substantial period of time after you knew she was not the one for you.

    You're doing them a favor in the long run by letting them go so they can go find someone who wants them back.
    There is a difference between dumping a girl because you no longer find her attractive etc


    Being a FORCED dumper, is when you do love your girlfriend and find her attractive, but her toxic behaviour, forced your hand to dump her.
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    Registered LTC Appoloin's Avatar
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    Most girls have never been dumped before and therefore don't know how to process the situation in a tactful way. If she's still into you at the time of the breakup and you don't handle the situation with care then you're going to be in one hell of a wild ride of jealously and revenge.
    per ardua ad astra
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  25. #25
    Registered Uber UberBrah's Avatar
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    Nobody likes feeling like the bad guy, but you also can't linger around waiting to get dumped.

    It's all circumstantial really.
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