Question for Ex Military - Particularly Former Marines

[Bando]

My Uncle passed at 75, Agent Orange related cancer. He was enlisted USMC when Vietnam broke out. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo to commemorate him but I want to be sure it's not inappropriate to be putting USMC and his name and dates of service on my shoulder when I never served.

[mtpockets]

My Uncle passed at 75, Agent Orange related cancer. He was enlisted USMC when Vietnam broke out. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo to commemorate him but I want to be sure it's not inappropriate to be putting USMC and his name and dates of service on my shoulder when I never served.

It's a memorial Tattoo so you are good imo

It's quite obvious from the name and service dates attached that you aren't claiming to be a service member or trying to steal valor.

Personally, I think it's Honorable that you want to commemorate him, I am sure others will feel the same.

[Wayne Evans]

My Uncle passed at 75, Agent Orange related cancer. He was enlisted USMC when Vietnam broke out. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo to commemorate him but I want to be sure it's not inappropriate to be putting USMC and his name and dates of service on my shoulder when I never served.

Mornin'....

I don't think it's inappropriate to want to have it as a "commemoration:".
I'd guess that the image you select and words you use would elude to it being said commemoration for your uncle....not portraying the tat as your personal experience.
I'm a year older than your uncle.
Let us know what you've chosen.

What unit was he in?
What year in Vietnam?
You know, that inquiring minds thing.

My respect to your uncle...looks like I have a year on him

Carry on....

[7Seconds]

My BIL has a tattoo of his dad’s dog tags. He also did not serve and included ‘In Memory Of’ for that reason.

[Bando]

What unit was he in?
What year in Vietnam?

I need to find that out for the tattoo, all I know is that he was already enlisted when the conflict broke out that included American Soldiers.

[Wayne Evans]

I need to find that out for the tattoo, all I know is that he was already enlisted when the conflict broke out that included American Soldiers.

Do you have his DD214 document that we all get after release from active duty?
They tell us to not lose this document.

If not, before you do the tat, I'd recommend filling out this form.
https://www.archives.gov/files/standard-form-180.pdf

It may take a couple of months but you'll eventually get a shvtload of info about his service.
It may change what tat image you want to use.

Yes....I filled out this form a decade ago and did finally receive a whole packet of my military history/info/medical history/operations, including replacement of earned ribbons nicely packaged.

Carry on....

[Bando]

Do you have his DD214 document that we all get after release from active duty?

I'm planning to get a copy from family. I need to get a little further along in my grieving process before I make a decision that will alter my body for the rest of my life. I think part of that process will be the R&D.

Thank you for your wise council and for your service.

He always loved my lifting videos, he was a USMC Bench Press Champion when Vietnam ended all that for him. Any tattoo will incorporate a Barbell and have an Orange background.

[GrouchyUSMC]

My Uncle passed at 75, Agent Orange related cancer. He was enlisted USMC when Vietnam broke out. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo to commemorate him but I want to be sure it's not inappropriate to be putting USMC and his name and dates of service on my shoulder when I never served.

You can never go wrong with the battlefield cross.

[Wayne Evans]

Thank you for your wise council and for your service.

Howdy....

Glad to help.

Yeah....the DD214 would be a good start.
If you get the DD214 and are having problems deciphering what any of it means I'll help you interpret what you see.

Back to it....

[Bando]

You can never go wrong with the battlefield cross.

That's what I was thinking, but they didn't have goggles in Vietnam. That was Desert shield/storm. I looked at hundreds of pictures of memorial tattoos and they all look like they were drawn by 3rd graders. If the guy who says he would never get a tattoo gets a tattoo I want it to be DaVinci perfect.

* as I study this more, helo gunners in Vietnam indeed wore goggles.

[marinevet63031]

This is a splendid appreciation, commemorative idea. Bless you man.

[Bando]

This is a splendid appreciation, commemorative idea. Bless you man.

Thank you. The image of what I want is getting sharper in my mind every day.

[Bando]

Got a letter back from the VA, next of kin needs to approve the request.

[Wayne Evans]

Got a letter back from the VA, next of kin needs to approve the request.

Howdy....

So are you inferring that you were able to get his DD214 from said 'next of kin' to keep the process moving along?
I'm a little confused where you are in your quest....I'm old.

Carry on....

[Bando]

I reached out to his Daughter (My Cousin) for a letter approving my access to his DD214. She won't give me access, her reasoning is that his time in Vietnam should not be honored as when he came home he had PTSD and would regularly be violent to her Mom (My Aunt.) There were years when he would explode at anyone, he was exposed to Agent Orange FFS. 20 years after Vietnam he found peace in Church and was a Christian with plenty of faults until he died. I could reach out to other family members for details of his service. I talked with my Wife who is a trained and licensed grief councilor and she says just honor my Cousin's wishes and let it go.

I'm having a hard time doing that.

[7Seconds]

I reached out to his Daughter (My Cousin) for a letter approving my access to his DD214. She won't give me access, her reasoning is that his time in Vietnam should not be honored as when he came home he had PTSD and would regularly be violent to her Mom (My Aunt.) There were years when he would explode at anyone, he was exposed to Agent Orange FFS. 20 years after Vietnam he found peace in Church and was a Christian with plenty of faults until he died. I could reach out to other family members for details of his service. I talked with my Wife who is a trained and licensed grief councilor and she says just honor my Cousin's wishes and let it go.

I'm having a hard time doing that.

IMO your wife is giving you good advice. I would take the money you were going to spend on this tattoo and donate it to a non-profit that supports veterans dealing with PTSD. Perhaps get a different tattoo commemorating him with a religious symbol to reflect what peace he did find in church.

[Bando]

I would take the money you were going to spend on this tattoo and donate it to a non-profit that supports veterans dealing with PTSD.

Since I never served I have money taken out of my bank account every month to support a local Veteran's group. Last year we manufactured a sidecar that will hold a coffin so that Veterans that are passionate about motorcycle riding can get one last ride to their burial.

I really just want to honor this one USMC Soldier that died due to Agent Orange.

[Wayne Evans]

She won't give me access, her reasoning is that his time in Vietnam should not be honored as when he came home he had PTSD and would regularly be violent to her Mom (My Aunt.) There were years when he would explode at anyone, he was exposed to Agent Orange FFS. 20 years after Vietnam he found peace in Church and was a Christian with plenty of faults until he died. I could reach out to other family members for details of his service. I talked with my Wife who is a trained and licensed grief councilor and she says just honor my Cousin's wishes and let it go.

I'm having a hard time doing that.

Mornin'....

Well shvt.
I'm sorry to hear that but she holds the key to any 'access' and she's obviously still very bitter about her post VN experiences with him.
Being quite connected to his experiences it's a very sad story to hear for all involded, that's for damn sure.

Hence....I agree with consensus.