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  1. #1
    Registered User DanGiCS's Avatar
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    I'm a dude trying to "train" a girl noobie

    Hi,

    I have some questions about my friend who I've been going to the gym with for a while and I was hoping to get some advice on how to advise her better.
    1) She seems to struggle with progressive overload. She's not really finding exercises any easier she's been going for a few months and her rep ranges and weights have stayed the same, I think that's strange even if her RPE is only at like a 6 since she's new. I think it could be down to her nutrition since she eats very little protein. Is this normal?
    2) How can I avoid getting her worried about "getting big" and is there a specific way you think someone with that mentality should train to help with that anxiety?
    3) She's also very shy. Any tips for helping someone with gym anxiety?

    I dont have much of an idea on how the average woman train, I know the differences to men aren't huge but if you could offer some general advice to throw her way that would be much appreciated too.
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  2. #2
    NASM-CPT xsquid99's Avatar
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    She's going to need to prioritize protein in her diet if she has any hopes of making any progress. A lot of girls don't eat enough protein, and its one of the major things that can hold them back. You don't have to go all out and stuff yourself, but you do need to try to get around 0.7g per pound of bodyweight daily.

    Women don't have the necessary testosterone naturally to build enough muscle to "get big", so increased size and getting big for a natural would only come in the form of fat from eating too many calories. Show her some photos of womens bikini competitors, those women lift heavy weights multiple times per week and many of those girls (at least on the IFBB level) are using unmentionable supplements; the jacked women you see in open bodybuilding are using large quantities of it.

    Gym anxiety is a real thing, best thing I can suggest is try to find a gym thats not crowded, go during off hours if you can (i.e. not between 3-7pm). The more she goes the better she will get at learning movements and the more comfortable she will feel. It takes a while, for me in the beginning it was a good 3-6 months before things really started to click for me. Keep in mind that everyone there is more concerned with what they are doing, so unless you're doing something really dumb or about to hurt yourself, most people won't even notice.
    All it takes is consistency, effort, proper nutrition, good programming, and TIME.

    Don't be upset with the results you didn't get from the work you did not do.
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  3. #3
    Registered User DanGiCS's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xsquid99 View Post
    She's going to need to prioritize protein in her diet if she has any hopes of making any progress. A lot of girls don't eat enough protein, and its one of the major things that can hold them back. You don't have to go all out and stuff yourself, but you do need to try to get around 0.7g per pound of bodyweight daily.

    Women don't have the necessary testosterone naturally to build enough muscle to "get big", so increased size and getting big for a natural would only come in the form of fat from eating too many calories. Show her some photos of womens bikini competitors, those women lift heavy weights multiple times per week and many of those girls (at least on the IFBB level) are using unmentionable supplements; the jacked women you see in open bodybuilding are using large quantities of it.

    Gym anxiety is a real thing, best thing I can suggest is try to find a gym thats not crowded, go during off hours if you can (i.e. not between 3-7pm). The more she goes the better she will get at learning movements and the more comfortable she will feel. It takes a while, for me in the beginning it was a good 3-6 months before things really started to click for me. Keep in mind that everyone there is more concerned with what they are doing, so unless you're doing something really dumb or about to hurt yourself, most people won't even notice.
    Thanks a lot very good advice! Would you say that it's accurate to tell her that if she keeps working out without increasing protein (She currently eats basically none) then it's just going to start fatiguing potentially even on rest days?
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    Not a woman but my wife is lol. I've been active all my life and in the gym for a few years. My wife recently (like a year ago?) started lifting a bit with me after her usual treadmill or stairmaster.

    1) We currently just eat whatever, but she had improved dramatically on like 6x per month upper lower. Totally not ideal, but I'm there to tell her to try another rep if I feel she's in the mental space for it. Definitely could be a diet thing, but I'd think she'd have made at least some noticeable progress even without a great diet as a beginner. How often does she train? Does she do the same exercises? What rep range? Etc.
    2) Get jacked yourself lol. My wife used to claim she doesn't like bulky muscle guys and lo and behold, naturals don't get grossly huge. I think she finds me MORE attractive after building muscle, because surprise surprise more natural muscle still looks natural. Same with women. Look at women gymnasts. Not stupid ugly bulky.
    3) My wife was shy about the free weight area at first. We'd do stuff together, alternating. After a while she's not shy about it anymore. She just come over and starts doing what she does. No fuks given. Just takes some time to get comfortable in a new scene.
    2022 -- Just maintaining and doing the van life
    April 2021.................16 week cut.................168 lbs
    2020......................375 / 285 / 505..............186 lbs
    Pre-COVID..............335 / 295 / 499..............185 lbs
    July 1, 2019................9 week cut.................164 lbs
    Late April 2019.........285 / 275 / 440.............178 lbs
    Oct, 2018..............175x6 / 145x6 / 275x5......163 lbs
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