Y'all think my girlfriend was cheating on me or is her explanation valid?

[monkeyll9]

What happened: My girlfriend and I have never hid our phones from each other, but recently we were hanging out and she got a text that popped up saying "Thanks for the help, I still love you". Ordinarily I wouldn't really care and just expect a funny story, but she asked for the phone back, started shaking, deleted the messages, and went into Snapchat to block the guy. Turns out she met him on vacation a couple years back, clicked with him, but stopped messaging him after he got a girlfriend. We're both well aware of all the people we both chat with, but she never mentioned him, which she explained as 'we hardly talked, he'd send music here and there and I'd listen to him vent but that's it'. Ordinarily I wouldn't care but I've been feeling extremely insecure about this, because of her reaction to the whole thing.

After a lot of self reflection, it turns out I constantly stonewalled her/went cold after a lot of different types of arguments(****ty habit from awful parents). I now understand that was completely on me, and she said she freaked out the way she did because she wanted to avoid another argument or me acting cold to her (which I now understand is because of my avoidant tendencies and I've worked extremely hard to fix them). I just want to know if this seems like it's possible her reaction is because she's generally pretty anxious/emotional and my tendency to act avoidant is a reasonable explanation for how she reacted? It was extremely out of character for her but I'm trying my best to see it from her perspective.

Extra Context:

- She went through some family drama that seriously affected her, crying every day for a few days so she was more on edge

- 'Thanks for all the help' was because he's apparently turned homeless and didn't have anyone that could help him get set up for finding a job, which she did by making him a LinkedIn

- Aside from this everything has been pretty great in our relationship

[Murph0408]

she's creating confusion and you're falling for it. I'm skeptical if I'm you.

-family drama has nothing to do with this
-gaslighting you to make you feel like it's your fault for "stonewalling"
-my anxiety, my emotions etc is all just noise

another guy hit her with 'i still love you' after thanking her for help. so clearly they stay in touch, which she conveniently never mentioned to you. that's the problem here. ignore everything else. people get caught lying/omitting (which is what this is) and immediately blame you, blame family, blame emotions. she lied and got popped that's it. it's a massive problem and it's her fault not yours.

[latverian41]

If story is even true. Sorry man she chested on you. Got it out of her system and now wants to make believe it never happened. Unless you guys have heard invested, share. Kid together etc etc and depending on how much you love her. You might want to find nother gf.

If you have any of the above involved in the relationship. Sometimes forgiving and moving on is the best thing. Everyone this up at some time. Now if she continues to act shady and deceptive that train will likely never stop and you should ghost her.

[skinnyfat88]

This is emotional cheating.
She secretly stayed in touch with and confided in someone who has feelings for her (and apparently helped him out during his rough times).

"Should" you stay with her is up to you.
But you'll likely need the help of couples therapy to establish boundaries and understand why you have had the issues you have and how to move forward.

[Evolutionary1]

Slavemasters are judging

[Evolutionary1]

Your judegement don't matter bitch

[Evolutionary1]

Say the opposite of reality

[tripod29]

Didn't read a single word. She absolutely is cheating.

Sauce: sloots gonna sloot



Srs, vry srs.

[LargePeter]

She's cheating lmao

[Evolutionary1]

Gonna get fired for doing what I'm supposed to


You can't make this **** up

these people are reteards

srsly

[Evolutionary1]

Don't do your job properly that means for termination here

[i3oosted]

She met him while with you? Why would he say "I still love you"...? IF she met him prior to you, I dont think she cheated physically but they "clicked" as in there was sexual tension, and she's still communicating with him, thats not good. Blocking/deleting doesnt change how she feels about him.

I dont think she's cheating but if she has a SNAP... bro, what do you think that apps for? The filters? lmao.

[Murph0408]

all this quality advice in here and OP never even responded. why do we waste our time.

[ispy]

Turns out she met him on vacation a couple years back, clicked with him, but stopped messaging him after he got a girlfriend.

there's your answer

[Evolutionary1]

ur a shrimp dilkhalf wit?



let's screw everyone over...

[Evolutionary1]

ur a shrimp dilkhalf wit?



let's screw everyone over...

b cuz tha THe peeple THAt give u cancer

[Evolutionary1]

now i know why ur worthless