Gather round and listen to the story of Catbrah delivering his own kid.

[LinuxJon]

Wild night boyos.

7am: check into the hospital for them to induce labor. Our son was 9lbs 6oz and almost caused her to need a blood transfusion. They did not want my wife going full term and risking that.

2pm: On pitocin for 7 hours already and basically nothing happening. We're both bored waiting for the doctor to show up.

3pm: Doctor breaks water. Still nothing happening.

6pm: Contractions are closer together but nothing major.

7pm: Monday night raw starts. Wife is having first heavy contractions during the Sami Zayn / Baron Corbin match.

7:30 Wife says she wants epidural now, had been waiting til things felt closer to happening. Nurse says it'll take like 30 min to get anesthesia up to do it. The Dolph Ziggler match is boring.

7:35: Wife is pacing around the bed and yells out of nowhere that she thinks the kid is coming soon. The nurse panics and runs out of the room. We both panic and slam the call button for another nurse. Nobody comes.

7:40: I have to lift the wife onto the bed myself and start catching the baby as her head and shoulders are coming out. Wife is screaming because they didn't get the epidural done. Zero pain meds. Blood everywhere. I'm trying to keep her calm and catch the kid.

7:41: A whole ****load of nurses come running into the room. I've already got the kid 75% out. They basically tell her to push once and hand her the kid.

7:43: Random doctor we've never met from another department runs in and finally starts doing stuff to stop the bleeding. Original nurse who had noped out is back. The doctor yells at her because he realizes she had shut off the pitocin drip, which is part of why she's still bleeding everywhere. She fumbles around

7:47: Everything finally under control. I get to finish watching the Asuka match with the new kiddo.

Pics:

[Uhyeahokay]

Congratz mane.

Wife is a champ.

I bet you were glad it didn't have paws.

[OffwhiteBrah]

y cover titties ?

[HateLiberals]

Dam thought the kid would be more orvchaca

[Unstumpable]

How was the wrestling?


and congrats on the new child.

[JeepBruh]

GJDM helping deliver

[Supearman]

fuark. you made it. gz brah

[Titansfan08]

So you pretty much delivered it but they will bill you for it

[leoslayer1]

Congratulations

[wrassler45]

Congrats and Lmao at the Raw updates

[GnomeSaiyanBruh]

Congrats OP.

[proudmanlet]

op delivers

[leoaa777]

Congrats OP, good looking kiddo.




I hope you washed your hands you absolute pig of a man.

[nrowles]

Congrats!

Since you don't adjust the time on your $10k watch it's a good thing they have a clock on the wall for you to time this out to the exact minute for us.

[katya422]

So cute.




Congratulations.

And you have a great story to tell that kid every birthday.

[jamalfudge]

Congrats brah, my wife is 5'2" and delivered both of our babies completely natty and was walking the dogs 36 hours after giving birth to our second. Job well done to you and the Mrs.

[LingLingDimSum]

Lol at you acting like you're recovering from having just given birth in that first photo.

[Mercworx]

Congrats and God bless.

[kusok]

Lol

Ok listen up future fathers!

Never induce labor, it hurts unbelievably, is extremely unhealthy for both the mother and the child, there are much easier ways to induce labor Naturally, never let doctors to do it, an acupuncturist or even things like evening primrose oil, and exercises any Doula or Midwife can teach, you can easily induce labor,

Next, you have to refuse every single piece of garbage chemical poison they will try to shove at you in the hospital, the result of your refusal to poison your wife and child will be that you will have a child that doesn’t cry, a mother that doesn’t tear her vagina, super strong healthy child who is going to hold his head up often in the first 24 hours, even though you will be told children do not hold their head up for two months, total horseshiet, You can even see newborns holding their head up less than 24 hours after being born on youtube, that’s what happens when you have unmedicated natural birth, there are plenty of natural ways to reduce pain and speed up and delivery, obvious things like weight lifting, collagen, and obvious prenatal yoga exercises do wonders,

Do the above and delivery nurse will just stand there, and your wife will simply perform a couple of abdominal crunches, and the baby will pop right out, been there/done that/cut the cord myself,

Congrats op.

[MrQuint]

Never a dull moment with Catbrah. Congrats.

[adamsz]

cant wait for the "misc, I just got delivered divorce papers, wut do?" thread

[Getter_done]

OP is such a fkn legend, congrats!

[Kaliconic]

Lmao. Legendary thread.

[BalognaNbeans]

lmao at everything

Congrats brah

[OptimusTrajan]

Congrats brah

[Muzzlrpress]

Congrats bro!

Fukkin harrowing tale right there

[ShlomoSteinberg]

Don't forget to vax your kid goy.

[LinuxJon]

Lol

Ok listen up future fathers!

Never induce labor, it hurts unbelievably, is extremely unhealthy for both the mother and the child, there are much easier ways to induce labor Naturally, never let doctors to do it, an acupuncturist or even things like evening primrose oil, and exercises any Doula or Midwife can teach, you can easily induce labor,

Next, you have to refuse every single piece of garbage chemical poison they will try to shove at you in the hospital, the result of your refusal to poison your wife and child will be that you will have a child that doesn’t cry, a mother that doesn’t tear her vagina, super strong healthy child who is going to hold his head up often in the first 24 hours, even though you will be told children do not hold their head up for two months, total horseshiet, You can even see newborns holding their head up less than 24 hours after being born on youtube, that’s what happens when you have unmedicated natural birth, there are plenty of natural ways to reduce pain and speed up and delivery, obvious things like weight lifting, collagen, and obvious prenatal yoga exercises do wonders,

Do the above and delivery nurse will just stand there, and your wife will simply perform a couple of abdominal crunches, and the baby will pop right out, been there/done that/cut the cord myself,

Congrats op.

We agreed and did all of that the first time bro. We waited til she went into labor on her own doing all the holistic stuff to move it along. That's how she ended up with a 9.5lb baby. lol

[gwg77]

Congratulations!

Incredible story.


God Bless.

[CCFD2466]

I've delivered all 3 of my kids, at home, in a birthing pool. You ain't chit op

But srs congrats