lacking motivation for strength training

[snowwolf212]

For the love of life, I can not get any motivation for strength training. Can someone enlighten me where to get the motivation? Nor can I bring myself to do strength training - alone at least. I've had good results with a personal trainer, but my brain started to shut down on working out and I've canceled

I have 2 issues.

1) My brain shuts down when it feels the pain of a workout, only when I do non sport workouts
2) I just simply can't even bring myself also to working out at all if it's not a sport. Idk where the motivation comes from. It feels foreign to me

A little background. I grew up rollerblading at skateparks, skateboarding.. as I got into my 20's I got into rock climbing and mountain biking (I mountain bike the most).. Rock climbing I enjoyed a lot, and it really worked my forearms!

So all in all, I can bring myself to mountain bike(sport I do the most), which works my quads and stuff, but I ABSOLUTELY can not bring myself mentally or physically to do strength train. Which I am lacking in some serious muscle upper body. Not even upper-body, if I try to do squats, my brain just shuts down and doesn't do it.

A little more background, I think what happens is my brain is shutting off when I try to approach a workout. Like my body is use to doing sports, when I go to do a workout

I weigh like 135lbs (I use to weigh 120, until I was put on a mental health medication that made me gain 20lbs, I have since lost 5 of those 20 recently.).

I'll post a picture of myself (if that's okay?) to show ya'll kinda where I am upper-body wise.

Some additional information... the feeling that's bouncing me away from doing strength training or non-sport exercises is the same feeling when you're skating and try to do switch tricks. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's like telling someone right handed to use their left hand.

I just wonder if there's a problem here? Is my brain okay? Why am I able to do sports, but I can't do exercises? On top of that I don't even have the motivation to do exercises on top of it all.

It just feels like I'm left handed doing things when I try to exercise without it being a sport, while being right handed. Or like I'm riding switch skating. and I always hate switch.

(Note this is my first post, it says I'm 53 years old, no I'm 29 years old. I updated the age in my profile, hopefully it reflects soon!)