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  1. #1
    Registered User smashedurgfx10's Avatar
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    Asked bumble chick to get coffee- this is what she said

    Me: What's your schedule like for the rest of the month? Let's meet for coffee

    Her: I can't meet up yet, I don't do meet ups just yet hahah

    Me: why?


    Her: I'm just not used to meeting up with people and just not ready for that. That's all.

    Me: No worries

    Her: [Irrelevant smiling dog gif]

    Me:When you're ready, give me a text. Cos I don't wanna invest in something which isn't actually going anywhere. Just being honest.

    Her; You know what, I have no idea when will I be ready.. Just to be fair and honest, I'm not really looking into relationships or anything ar the moment, I don't want to waste your time any further so I think it's better to stop this chatting thing but let me tell you, in a short period of time I enjoyed our conversation. Thank you for your time wish you all the best!

    Me:
    Sure, all the best.

    --------

    Is this normal nowadays? People just want to chat and not actually meet? You can't get get know someone online. I get for a woman it's a bigger deal to meet up with a guy you don't know but you need to take a risk.

    Glad I nipped this in the bud. Gave her an option to text me when she is 'ready' whatever that means but she'd rather cut me off for being assertive. OK lol

    Anything I did wrong here? Surely this was a better option than texting her for weeks on end with no meet up

    Especially now that I've said to meet and she said no I'd be completely bending in to her frame which I don't want.

    Shed meet up for Brad Pitt etc.
    Last edited by smashedurgfx10; 08-25-2022 at 02:55 AM.
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  2. #2
    WOATbrah of peace :) sooby's Avatar
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    probably just not used to the whole dating thing, or maybe she's had bad experiences so she is more guarded. i don't think it is that unreasonable to get a feel for the person via calls and text for a week or two before meeting up. some i think want a certain comfort level.


    but I think it's good you nipped it in the bud. she has no idea what she wants. if she had some clear expectations and intentions I think it would be different. looks like she is just testing the waters or wants someone to talk to without the anxiety and pressure of meeting somebody and making a first impression. she could just be fuking around. who knows really.

    at least she was honest about not wanting to waste your time though. better than leading you on a string for weeks then switches up on you suddenly. i don't think you did anything wrong, it's probably a waste of time if she can't communicate or doesn't know what she wants.
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  3. #3
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    I know it's pretty common for people to wanna fukking text forever nowadays but I don't do that chit.

    We lay the foundation and figure out we're interested in each other then that chit needs to rapidly switch to seeing each other in person. Body language matters too damn much to base your decisions and chit off texts and phone calls. Majority of chicks I can find reasons to next them in the first five minutes of meeting them.

    Her: I'm just not used to meeting up with people and just not ready for that. That's all.
    I wouldn't have even responded to this. Would have just deleted her number and moved on.
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    Registered User CoolKnees's Avatar
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    I don't think she's lying or has any ill intentions. She was interested and liked the attention but dating isn't a major priority for her.
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    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smashedurgfx10 View Post

    Is this normal nowadays? People just want to chat and not actually meet? You can't get get know someone online. I get for a woman it's a bigger deal to meet up with a guy you don't know but you need to take a risk.

    Glad I nipped this in the bud. Gave her an option to text me when she is 'ready' whatever that means but she'd rather cut me off for being assertive. OK lol

    Anything I did wrong here? Surely this was a better option than texting her for weeks on end with no meet up

    Especially now that I've said to meet and she said no I'd be completely bending in to her frame which I don't want.

    Shed meet up for Brad Pitt etc.
    Yes it's normal.
    Some people want to talk more before meeting anyone. Some will say this to let someone down easy if their interest is only mild.

    How much convo was there prior to you asking?
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  6. #6
    Registered User smashedurgfx10's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Yes it's normal.
    Some people want to talk more before meeting anyone. Some will say this to let someone down easy if their interest is only mild.

    How much convo was there prior to you asking?
    I don't see the point in continually talking over text. You've seen each others pics so there is physical attraction and the convo is going well so there is mental attraction ..

    You can only lose by prolonging a text convo cos she will find someone else who she will meet up with .. imo that's just an excuse

    In any case she should have told me 'hey I like you and want to get to know you a but better before we meet is that OK?'

    But I guess that's too much social skills to expect of women in 2022 idk

    If she was interested there was no reason to end the convo over it .. me asking her to text me when she is ready was the prompt for her to say the above.

    We had a few days of texting
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  7. #7
    Registered Goomba ToxMasculinity's Avatar
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    I've had this happen over multiple occasions, to where I ask them out and they start acting weird and stop replying. I have also been on dates with women on dating apps that apparently have never been on dates before. I have no idea what kind of guys they are talking to. I have had zero luck with dating apps, it's like all women are defected on there. I've had way more success with something turning into something real by meeting women in real life. (Ded fkn Srs)
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  8. #8
    Registered User blueberryboy's Avatar
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    Translation : she's mostly using the app for attention from guys like you but if someone really caught her eye she'd meet that day
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  9. #9
    Registered User blueberryboy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sooby View Post
    probably just not used to the whole dating thing, or maybe she's had bad experiences so she is more guarded. i don't think it is that unreasonable to get a feel for the person via calls and text for a week or two before meeting up. some i think want a certain comfort level.
    So you think if justin bieber was on there asking for a date she'd hit him with that same line?

    You guys need to start to decipher the bs that comes out of females mouth.
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  10. #10
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    Yes this is normal. I don’t meet up with 99% of guys I chat with. Plenty of guys are willing to chat for months or years without meeting up srs.

    I’ve chatted with a Notre Dame football player for years now without ever meeting up. We just talk and exchange nudes etc. He’s cool af to talk to. I’m going to keep him as a pen pal in case he makes the NFL because it will be cool to have an NFL pen pal.
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    Originally Posted by blueberryboy View Post
    Translation : she's mostly using the app for attention from guys like you but if someone really caught her eye she'd meet that day
    This.

    Move on OP
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  12. #12
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    She just wants some attention and someone to talk to because she feels lonely and not validated enough.

    Also she's very picky, you're not what she was looking for.

    Sorry that hurt your ego OP.
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    Text -> Call -> Meet. Some girls are scared to go meet right after shooting a couple of text messages.
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    It means you did not do enough for her

    I've had women say this before I sent a photo and then said normal things
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    OP you are what ýou attract and thats boring and socially awkward

    Women love to go out

    Example of boring and socially awkward below

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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    Yes this is normal. I don’t meet up with 99% of guys I chat with. Plenty of guys are willing to chat for months or years without meeting up srs.

    I’ve chatted with a Notre Dame football player for years now without ever meeting up. We just talk and exchange nudes etc. He’s cool af to talk to. I’m going to keep him as a pen pal in case he makes the NFL because it will be cool to have an NFL pen pal.
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    Originally Posted by keyboardworkout View Post
    Same face people make when her weight starts with 2
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post

    I’ve chatted with a Notre Dame football player for years now without ever meeting up. We just talk and exchange nudes etc. He’s cool af to talk to. I’m going to keep him as a pen pal in case he makes the NFL because it will be cool to have an NFL pen pal.
    This sounded so pathetic, lmao.
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  19. #19
    WOATbrah of peace :) sooby's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by blueberryboy View Post
    So you think if justin bieber was on there asking for a date she'd hit him with that same line?

    You guys need to start to decipher the bs that comes out of females mouth.
    breaking news: women are talking to random men, not justin bieber.
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  20. #20
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    Smile

    Send her a d pic. 9/10 they send stuff back
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  21. #21
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    Yes this is normal. I don’t meet up with 99% of guys I chat with. Plenty of guys are willing to chat for months or years without meeting up srs.

    I’ve chatted with a Notre Dame football player for years now without ever meeting up. We just talk and exchange nudes etc. He’s cool af to talk to. I’m going to keep him as a pen pal in case he makes the NFL because it will be cool to have an NFL pen pal.
    How long will it be before you tell him you're a man?
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    Worldwide Sippa' Voidgaze's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    Plenty of guys are willing to chat for months or years without meeting up srs.
    So fuarking true.

    I had an former coworker tell me how this dude chatted her up on IG for months until he finally asked for her number...smh

    Dudes out here happily orbiting.

    Originally Posted by keyboardworkout View Post
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    TwinkMAXXing Azrairc's Avatar
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    TLDR

    basically she is not attracted to you, or not enough to make it even worth warming her up. Find girls that like you, less hoops to jump through

    /thread
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    Registered User Gosu14's Avatar
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    Most women are only on apps for validation and attention. Only a few are there for actually meeting up and you have to weed through them immediately by pushing to see each other right away. Dating is all about power
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    5'7/cali imbored21's Avatar
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    lmao. too much real life.
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    Registered User Midi77's Avatar
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    I never ask a woman to meet online, I always let her suggest it, and when they do, it works out 90+% of the time hen meeting in person. I've also gotten to know who I'll vibe with fairly quickly so I don't waste time either.

    The truth is, you're still some creep online until she's sold on the idea that you're not, simple as that, so when you suggest meeting, her radar is still up.
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    TwinkMAXXing Azrairc's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Midi77 View Post
    I never ask a woman to meet online, I always let her suggest it, and when they do, it works out 90+% of the time hen meeting in person. I've also gotten to know who I'll vibe with fairly quickly so I don't waste time either.

    The truth is, you're still some creep online until she's sold on the idea that you're not, simple as that, so when you suggest meeting, her radar is still up.
    there's some type of balance to it, but if she's ready for you and to date it'll be easy

    my advice is learn spanish and start dating one of the hundreds of thousand illegals coming in every year. I do not even waste time with white women now when this women will treat you like a god compared to them
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  29. #29
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    loooool she used you for validation
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    Attention whore.

    Disregard.
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