made it to 5 dates and then dropped like a bad habit - advice

[Gosu14]

Never ever spend money on women for dates outside of a few drinks. Don’t reserve dinner and movies and stuff until after you’ve become official and fukked her in every way imaginable.

[regno]

she lost interest because u didn't escalate from kissing

women lose interest very fast if they haven't bonded through intimacy

a new interesting chad sparked her interest and she already erased you from her mind

Somewhat true but not exactly. I have a very close friend who is still keeping contact 8-9 months now with this solid 8/10 blonde. They met only twice in that 8-9 month period. Second time in music festival 2 months ago where I was as well. She came just for him, then he left her with me, disappeared for 3 hours to meet up with other girl, made out with her while I was keeping that blonde girl company. Then he came back like nothing happened and they both went to sleep in a tent. And he didn't even smash her that night. Although he does like her and finds her attractive. She even said afterwards that she never slept with someone so "quietly" i.e. "why dafuq you didn't smash me?"

The point is that he doesn't give a shiet about her. He likes her but he's just as happy being in contact with her as he's never speaking with her again. A true chad. Both looks and personality/character wise.
And that's not some ugly fat desperate chick. The furthest thing from it. Even now, after all this, she's inviting him for a spa weekend. And she's always available for him. Obviously she really likes him. And that's the point. If a girl really likes you and she's having hard time finding better mate than you, she'll stick around and wait as long as humanely possible.

But if you're borderline fukable and likeable for that girl, you gotta act quick because chances are she might meet someone better than you and you're going to the dreaded friendzone

I guess "always leave them wanting more" really applies and works in this case.

[StrawberryTaco]

lookin at how u described her texts n chit itt she knew u were a needy bitch , dont be a needy bitch . bitches dont want needy bitches , she has friends 4 that

[pondus_levo]

Basic rule of dating is don't do anything too thoughtful and expensive until AFTER you've had sex. You were waiting for her to take the lead on that and that's where you went wrong. Women do not want to take the lead on that. You have to escalate sexually ASAP and let her say no. She's NOT going to go distant on your because you want sex, but she will go distant if you don't make it obvious. Women are attracted to assertive men that are not afraid to go after what they want.

The tai message was not the reason she got cold, but you would feel a whole lot better about yourself if you hadn't taken the time to schedule it and pay for it, since she did nothing to deserve it.

Yes, it's toast. Move on. The only way to shut the door on a woman is to slam it.

EDIT: Read the update. Good Job Daveman

[StrawberryTaco]

also stop fukken texting bitches . texts are to set up the next date . u wanna fukk something up keep having long text messages

[luntao01]

Hi all, bit of advice on how to proceed from this, even though deep-down I know the answer lol...

to summarise: She got railed by a chad after our thai-massage date, friend-zoned.

This ... you moved too slow. You should have ****ed her on the second date. Obviously someone else beat you to it and she's off suckibg his dink

[El Elyon]

OP: Let me give you some real advice.

Anyone saying that she left you because you didn't f**k her quick enough has poor experience with women. Trust me on this one - the less you try to open their legs, the quicker they'll open. TRUST ME. If she really liked you, she would have eventually instigated sex by inviting you in. You did your job of being there outside her house, but she didn't want to proceed any further. It has nothing to do with your lack of forcing sex on her. The more she thinks that's all you want, the more she'll make you do to get it.

This girl likely flaked on you because she started to feel bad with how much you was investing, and she didn't like you as much as you liked her. That's probably why she insisted on going halves, to lower the guilt. You seem like a nice guy, so she gave you a chance but it wasn't enough. Sucks, but it happens. Probably not chemically matched (look in to that research).

Take it on the chin. A remember, DONT TRY TO **** THEM. You can thank me later.

[xbluexhawkx]

OP: Let me give you some real advice.

Anyone saying that she left you because you didn't f**k her quick enough has poor experience with women. Trust me on this one - the less you try to open their legs, the quicker they'll open. TRUST ME. If she really liked you, she would have eventually instigated sex by inviting you in. You did your job of being there outside her house, but she didn't want to proceed any further. It has nothing to do with your lack of forcing sex on her. The more she thinks that's all you want, the more she'll make you do to get it.

This girl likely flaked on you because she started to feel bad with how much you was investing, and she didn't like you as much as you liked her. That's probably why she insisted on going halves, to lower the guilt. You seem like a nice guy, so she gave you a chance but it wasn't enough. Sucks, but it happens. Probably not chemically matched (look in to that research).

Take it on the chin. A remember, DONT TRY TO **** THEM. You can thank me later.

This is good for women that actually want to date and not just sleep around

However, don't try to play the long game or nice guy thing for girls that are just trying to be hoes and smash

Lots of women nowadays just want to meet up with a guy one time, smash and then leave

If they're dtf and you fail you missed your chance

I got burned a few times in the past by doing this, live and learn

[El Elyon]

This is good for women that actually want to date and not just sleep around

However, don't try to play the long game or nice guy thing for girls that are just trying to be hoes and smash

Lots of women nowadays just want to meet up with a guy one time, smash and then leave

If they're dtf and you fail you missed your chance

I got burned a few times in the past by doing this, live and learn

I've very rarely met a girl who only wanted sex. In fact, I genuinely don't think I've ever met a girl who just wanted sex. They've always wanted more.

Personally, whenever I tried to **** girls, it would take at least 3-5 dates for this to happen, as they could tell it was what I wanted. Then one time (funny story), I went out on a first date with a cute girl and we got on well and started kissing. I left my room in a right mess so I was never going to take her home. Nearer the end of the night, she insisted I took her back for a drink, to which I declined. After about 15 mins of her trying to find out why (I kept on making an excuse), she pinned me to the bar and said "you're going to take me back to yours and you're going to **** me". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So I took her home for the smash.

Next time I went on a date, very reserved girl who said she usually waits a while to have sex with a guy, I said something like "That's great as I'm not into to just sex (even though of course, I was), I like to take it slow". Smashed her on second date. Genuinely effortless.

And I continued that "method" until I eventually met my Long term partner.

Genuinely mental how I tried to cockblock myself and it actually got me laid quicker. And it worked so many times. I think it's just something about a guy who doesn't even need sex from her, makes him a little bit more desirable to her. Of course, this would never work if she isn't attracted in the first place. Which is where your career and health take a huge part. But if she's in to you, chill with trying to **** her and her panties will be off in no time.

[antman12]

I've very rarely met a girl who only wanted sex. In fact, I genuinely don't think I've ever met a girl who just wanted sex. They've always wanted more.

Personally, whenever I tried to **** girls, it would take at least 3-5 dates for this to happen, as they could tell it was what I wanted. Then one time (funny story), I went out on a first date with a cute girl and we got on well and started kissing. I left my room in a right mess so I was never going to take her home. Nearer the end of the night, she insisted I took her back for a drink, to which I declined. After about 15 mins of her trying to find out why (I kept on making an excuse), she pinned me to the bar and said "you're going to take me back to yours and you're going to **** me". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So I took her home for the smash.

Next time I went on a date, very reserved girl who said she usually waits a while to have sex with a guy, I said something like "That's great as I'm not into to just sex (even though of course, I was), I like to take it slow". Smashed her on second date. Genuinely effortless.

And I continued that "method" until I eventually met my Long term partner.

Genuinely mental how I tried to cockblock myself and it actually got me laid quicker. And it worked so many times. I think it's just something about a guy who doesn't even need sex from her, makes him a little bit more desirable to her. Of course, this would never work if she isn't attracted in the first place. Which is where your career and health take a huge part. But if she's in to you, chill with trying to **** her and her panties will be off in no time.

So you’re a f*ckboi. Pretty scummy. Why knowingly lead girls on when you, by your own admission, only looking for sex?

It’s not hard to get laid.

[El Elyon]

So you’re a f*ckboi. Pretty scummy. Why knowingly lead girls on when you, by your own admission, only looking for sex?

It’s not hard to get laid.

Relax. You seem very stressed.

I'm actually telling people not to pressure girls in to sex. It's counter-productive if your goal is to have sex. Women chose when the sex happens, so allow them that power.

If you think that by telling horny men to rain it in a little, despite them wanting sex as their primary goal, is "leading her on", then you've grossly misunderstood what I'm saying here. There are certainly many ways to lead a girl on - making sex less of a priority, isn't leading anyone on.

[iloveus]

Without getting too deep into the research on female arousal (it’s messy and confusing, which shouldn’t surprise you), the leading theory on female arousal is women are turned on by bold behaviors, displays of bravery, and direct sexual desire, particularly when directed at the woman who is getting aroused.


What would barbarian Fabio do?

Whether it’s Fabio the Firefighter or the sexy surfer who braves the 20 foot waves in frigid waters or the solider coming home from Nowhere-istan, displays of bravery turn women on more than anything else. If you don’t believe me, go to your local book store and look at the romance novels. Romance novels are basically porn for women, and you’ll find that they all feature warriors, soldiers, bad boys, race car drivers, football players, firefighters, jet pilots, and enter-your-super-sexy-and-dangerous-occupation-here.

And not only are these men racy and exciting, but they’re usually brash and debonair — they say what they want and go after it without apology.

But what does this mean for a couple regular guys like you and me?

It means being nervous around her is going to be a pretty big turn off. Afraid to talk to her, afraid to ask her out, afraid to kiss her, afraid to take her home — Fabio the Firefighter wouldn’t be afraid to ravish the **** of her, so why should you?

What it means is that despite every woman you’ve ever heard complain about men hitting on them, bold displays of interest actually work in your favor the majority of the time, as long as they’re demonstrated in a manner that is not too threatening or disrespectful.

Some examples (for better or worse, these are taken from experience):

Telling a woman she’s beautiful and you’d like to get to know her better. GOOD IDEA

Whistling at a girl on the street and calling her names. BAD IDEA

When a woman seems interested in you, just grabbing her and trying to kiss her. GOOD IDEA

Following a woman for three blocks telling her what you want to do to her sexually. BAD IDEA

Telling a woman you’re kissing where and how you’d like to have sex with her. GOOD IDEA

Touching a woman inappropriately when you don’t know her or have not received interest from her. BAD IDEA

Men typically underestimate how forward they can be with women. And they vastly underestimate how effective being forward and open about their sexual desires is with women who are attracted to them.

A proper and honest sexual expression is powerful, and in our society, rare. In fact, there’s a LOT of societal pressure to hide and disassociate from our sexuality. Many of us grow up with a great deal of sexual shame. And not only does this keep us afraid of expressing our sexual desires openly, but it creates an unhealthy neediness and worship of sex.

Because honest and respectful demonstrations of sexuality are so rare, not only are women aroused by it, but it often hits them like a breath of fresh air.

[4North1Side2]

when you make assumptions you make an Asss out of U and Me. We went from her place in her car and she picked her friends up in her car, because i have a two-seater R8. Quit with the try-hard posts.

Lol @ having an R8 and still not getting pussy. My Jag makes getting pussy phenomenonally.too easy when I show up in it.

[4North1Side2]

OP: Let me give you some real advice.

Anyone saying that she left you because you didn't f**k her quick enough has poor experience with women. Trust me on this one - the less you try to open their legs, the quicker they'll open. TRUST ME. If she really liked you, she would have eventually instigated sex by inviting you in. You did your job of being there outside her house, but she didn't want to proceed any further. It has nothing to do with your lack of forcing sex on her. The more she thinks that's all you want, the more she'll make you do to get it.

This girl likely flaked on you because she started to feel bad with how much you was investing, and she didn't like you as much as you liked her. That's probably why she insisted on going halves, to lower the guilt. You seem like a nice guy, so she gave you a chance but it wasn't enough. Sucks, but it happens. Probably not chemically matched (look in to that research).

Take it on the chin. A remember, DONT TRY TO **** THEM. You can thank me later.

I've very rarely met a girl who only wanted sex. In fact, I genuinely don't think I've ever met a girl who just wanted sex. They've always wanted more.

Personally, whenever I tried to **** girls, it would take at least 3-5 dates for this to happen, as they could tell it was what I wanted. Then one time (funny story), I went out on a first date with a cute girl and we got on well and started kissing. I left my room in a right mess so I was never going to take her home. Nearer the end of the night, she insisted I took her back for a drink, to which I declined. After about 15 mins of her trying to find out why (I kept on making an excuse), she pinned me to the bar and said "you're going to take me back to yours and you're going to **** me". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So I took her home for the smash.

Next time I went on a date, very reserved girl who said she usually waits a while to have sex with a guy, I said something like "That's great as I'm not into to just sex (even though of course, I was), I like to take it slow". Smashed her on second date. Genuinely effortless.

And I continued that "method" until I eventually met my Long term partner.

Genuinely mental how I tried to cockblock myself and it actually got me laid quicker. And it worked so many times. I think it's just something about a guy who doesn't even need sex from her, makes him a little bit more desirable to her. Of course, this would never work if she isn't attracted in the first place. Which is where your career and health take a huge part. But if she's in to you, chill with trying to **** her and her panties will be off in no time.

This guy knows wtf he's talking about!

[WoofieNugget]

Basically it sounds like you were friend zoned after the third date and she just wanted to keep you around while she was dating other guys. She let you buy her stuff and hang out with her friends because you were already there. Protip: if she wants to be physical, she won't care if all her friends are around.

If there's physical chemistry on her end, you'll know by the second date because she'll give you clear signals that she's open to it - if you don't know what those are then learn them. Examples can be very subtle but you still need to read the room. And if it isn't there by the third date then often you're done unless there's an extenuating circumstance like described above ie a virgin.

Guys forget that women want sex just as much as men do, they just go about it in a different way and often won't make it blatantly obvious. It's why my go to second or third date was always dinner at my place. If she says yes, then she's down to at least get seriously physical if not smash.

[antman12]

Relax. You seem very stressed.

I'm actually telling people not to pressure girls in to sex. It's counter-productive if your goal is to have sex. Women chose when the sex happens, so allow them that power.

If you think that by telling horny men to rain it in a little, despite them wanting sex as their primary goal, is "leading her on", then you've grossly misunderstood what I'm saying here. There are certainly many ways to lead a girl on - making sex less of a priority, isn't leading anyone on.

Stressed? wtf you talking about.

Your advocating for guys whose primary goal is sex, to not make their intentions clear, bring them on multiple dates so they feel less pressured then sleep with them. Any decent girl is going to ask you what your intentions are while meeting the first couple times. Do you just lie to them?

"There are certainly many ways to lead a girl on - making sex less of a priority, isn't leading anyone on." You say this while also acknowledging the primary goal being sex. You're contradicting yourself.

[El Elyon]

Stressed? wtf you talking about.

Your advocating for guys whose primary goal is sex, to not make their intentions clear, bring them on multiple dates so they feel less pressured then sleep with them. Any decent girl is going to ask you what your intentions are while meeting the first couple times. Do you just lie to them?

"There are certainly many ways to lead a girl on - making sex less of a priority, isn't leading anyone on." You say this while also acknowledging the primary goal being sex. You're contradicting yourself.

You're coming across like a very angry man. Somebody who finds getting laid so easy shouldn't be this angry.

You've probably read Mode One or any of that other ****e (if you haven't, it sounds like it's right up your street). Why would I not tell someone, whose looking to hook up, the best way I've found of hooking up?

Bro, there's slightly bending the truth, like refraining from pushing for sex even though you want it, and there's outright lying to get what you want - such as saying you want a relationship when that's not going to happen. You're getting irate over slightly bending the truth (or some could say, having more control), yet women aren't so truthful themselves (fake nails, fake hair, high heels, push up bras). It's cool. That's the game, right? We all give and take a little.

But where have I lied? I never lie to women. In my earlier example, I mentioned I was into to just random sex. Most guys are too. But most guys would also like to have regular sex with a women he enjoys spending time with. That was always my intention when meeting a woman. Ransom one night stands or random sex is average at best. It takes time to learn how the other one enjoys their sex. And that's when it gets really good, imo. If a man's sole goal that night is to have sex, then he needs to find women that are ovulating (there's a ton of research on this and the way they move their hips are big indicators). But you still can't just go up and be like "want to ****?". I've tried that (I've tried everything throughout my time dating), and it very rarely works - because 99.999999% of women I have met all want something a bit more than just sex.

Again, refraining from sex at the start, even though you want to bang, isn't a bad idea. What the **** do you think she's doing? She's doing the same ****. She wants to bang, but thanks to society calling her a slut, she doesn't have the same sexual freedoms as men have. That sucks.

[El Elyon]

Also

"bring them on multiple dates so they feel less pressured then sleep with them."

Yes, making them feel less pressured so they can enjoy themselves sexually. That's the point, mate. They chose when to have sex. I'm sure you know this.

[4North1Side2]

So you’re a f*ckboi. Pretty scummy. Why knowingly lead girls on when you, by your own admission, only looking for sex?

It’s not hard to get laid.

He said, "he's not into just sex, he likes to take things slow"

Why the **** does that have your panties in a bunch? No lie was told. Have it crossed your small minded simp ass mind that he actually enjoys taking women on dates and spending quality time with them, hench taking it slow and not just being into sex.

Chad must of ****ed and stole some whore off you with
your feminine behavior.

[antman12]

You're coming across like a very angry man. Somebody who finds getting laid so easy shouldn't be this angry.

You've probably read Mode One or any of that other ****e (if you haven't, it sounds like it's right up your street). Why would I not tell someone, whose looking to hook up, the best way I've found of hooking up?

Bro, there's slightly bending the truth, like refraining from pushing for sex even though you want it, and there's outright lying to get what you want - such as saying you want a relationship when that's not going to happen. You're getting irate over slightly bending the truth (or some could say, having more control), yet women aren't so truthful themselves (fake nails, fake hair, high heels, push up bras). It's cool. That's the game, right? We all give and take a little.

But where have I lied? I never lie to women. In my earlier example, I mentioned I was into to just random sex. Most guys are too. But most guys would also like to have regular sex with a women he enjoys spending time with. That was always my intention when meeting a woman. Ransom one night stands or random sex is average at best. It takes time to learn how the other one enjoys their sex. And that's when it gets really good, imo. If a man's sole goal that night is to have sex, then he needs to find women that are ovulating (there's a ton of research on this and the way they move their hips are big indicators). But you still can't just go up and be like "want to ****?". I've tried that (I've tried everything throughout my time dating), and it very rarely works - because 99.999999% of women I have met all want something a bit more than just sex.

Again, refraining from sex at the start, even though you want to bang, isn't a bad idea. What the **** do you think she's doing? She's doing the same ****. She wants to bang, but thanks to society calling her a slut, she doesn't have the same sexual freedoms as men have. That sucks.

Not sure why you continue to project me as stressed, angry or irate when I simply called you on your behavior, from the original post I responded to. Im not the one typing paragraphs trying to justify myself.

"That's great as I'm not into to just sex (even though of course, I was), I like to take it slow" is the part that I was referring to.

Ps. I genuinely agree with much of what you've posted.

Also

"bring them on multiple dates so they feel less pressured then sleep with them."

Yes, making them feel less pressured so they can enjoy themselves sexually. That's the point, mate. They chose when to have sex. I'm sure you know this.

Agree.

He said, "he's not into just sex, he likes to take things slow"

Why the **** does that have your panties in a bunch? No lie was told. Have it crossed your small minded simp ass mind that he actually enjoys taking women on dates and spending quality time with them, hench taking it slow and not just being into sex.

Chad must of ****ed and stole some whore off you with
your feminine behavior.

Cringe.

[CirezD]

OP, you're a ******* for making this thread. Next time, wait 15 dates and don't forget to send her flowers twice a day. LOL.

[4North1Side2]

Cringe.

Like your ****ty abs and droopy man boobs.

[brbgoingindry]

im sorry you went through this bro. id give you a hug but itd be kinda gay lol. you should always be looking for a great opportunity to make your next move too.

[antman12]

Like your ****ty abs and droopy man boobs.

Cringe.

[JUSA]

Then.... the killer blow... about 20 minutes later she sends another msg: "I'm going to be super-honest with you, I would really like to catch up with you again, but I don't see us progressing as anything more than friends at this stage. Let me know if this would work for you and if you would like to catch up again?" (WTF who kisses on dates as much as we did as 'friends'? Lol)

I didn't read anything but this. Good on her for being honest with you - and she just didn't care for you. Get over it. Some people won't click with each other, or in your case you clicked with her but not her to you.

[TonyTriangles]

Just be glad you found out it wouldn't work out after 5 dates. Don't think of it that you lost a month of time, think of it as a free one month trial.

[RagnarChadbrok]

Stopped reading after you didn’t smash by the third date. Failure, scrap it & next tbh. No sense troubling yourself with the why’s of it, but probably either you weren’t sexually aggressive enough, or she wasn’t really feeling you. Probably the first since she tolerated five dates with you. Probably got sick of no sex and ditched you tbh

[JosephVis]

it looks like women's games
Perhaps she wants to wrap you around her finger