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  1. #421
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ausaric View Post
    They don’t do a sliding scale, the cost is based on my insurance and the deductible.

    I don’t have very sound finances right now and I am not in a place to spend $6000 at the drop of a hat.

    What if I start going to AA meetings but don’t do the IOP? Is that acceptable?

    I totally get what you’re saying about addict brain. I have nothing against doing IOP, I was READY to do it until I found out the cost.
    Sorry if my previous post came off as harsh or telling you what to do. Everyone lives a life of recovery in different ways. AA meetings can be helpful for some, especially when you get a sponsor and work the 12 steps. There are also other groups out there like SMART Recovery and Recovery Dharma that are not 12 step meetings. I think the most important aspect of meetings is building social connections with people and gradually creating a support network of people who can be supportive and hold you accountable.
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  2. #422
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Hey misc brahs! I hope everyone is well and their recovery is going strong! I'm glad that we are almost at April and hopefully start getting some decent weather! I am doing well and will be celebrating a year of sobriety in two days which is ****ing awesome lol. How is everyone else?
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  3. #423
    Registered User SashaGab's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Joeyw88 View Post
    Hey misc brahs! I hope everyone is well and their recovery is going strong! I'm glad that we are almost at April and hopefully start getting some decent weather! I am doing well and will be celebrating a year of sobriety in two days which is ****ing awesome lol. How is everyone else?
    Been a while since I posted. Sadly back to my old routine of daily drinking, lacking motivation to quit even though my anxiety is through the roof each morning. I just look forward to coming home, hell I even started drinking at work. It's not good, and I'm not proud of it, very ashamed of myself.

    I want to get out of this hole but I'm more stuck than ever.
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  4. #424
    Registered User the700level's Avatar
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    15 days sober. Turned into a daily drinker

    Last time I drank, it was for 36 hours with ******** in the mix. Was hungover for days and missed a friends uncles funeral

    Decided enough was enough and trying to kick it completely. 1 is too many, 100 isn’t enough

    Went to my first sober event last night, a black tie event. Was interesting to say the least

    Everytime I drank was Russian roulette of what I was gonna to do or say next.

    15 days in, already feeling better
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  5. #425
    Registered User jreacher's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by the700level View Post
    .

    15 days in, already feeling better
    Excellent! It will keep getting better, too.
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  6. #426
    Still Alive Ausaric's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SashaGab View Post
    Been a while since I posted. Sadly back to my old routine of daily drinking, lacking motivation to quit even though my anxiety is through the roof each morning. I just look forward to coming home, hell I even started drinking at work. It's not good, and I'm not proud of it, very ashamed of myself.

    I want to get out of this hole but I'm more stuck than ever.
    eventually you’ll either quit or die, so it’s kind of an easy choice eventually. I guess you’re not at that point yet.
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  7. #427
    Registered User shono0's Avatar
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    do you guys count days?
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  8. #428
    Registered User jreacher's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by shono0 View Post
    do you guys count days?
    Kind of. I don't know specifically how many days until I look at an app that tracks it for me.
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  9. #429
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SashaGab View Post
    Been a while since I posted. Sadly back to my old routine of daily drinking, lacking motivation to quit even though my anxiety is through the roof each morning. I just look forward to coming home, hell I even started drinking at work. It's not good, and I'm not proud of it, very ashamed of myself.

    I want to get out of this hole but I'm more stuck than ever.
    I'm sorry to hear that and I appreciate you coming back and sharing that!! What was the catalyst for you drinking again? I hope you are able to work through those challenges and get back on track!

    Originally Posted by the700level View Post
    15 days sober. Turned into a daily drinker

    Last time I drank, it was for 36 hours with ******** in the mix. Was hungover for days and missed a friends uncles funeral

    Decided enough was enough and trying to kick it completely. 1 is too many, 100 isn’t enough

    Went to my first sober event last night, a black tie event. Was interesting to say the least

    Everytime I drank was Russian roulette of what I was gonna to do or say next.

    15 days in, already feeling better
    Congratulations on over two weeks!!! Yeah, there never is enough and that void will consume everything, including yourself!! I'm glad to you went to a sobriety event, that sounds like fun! I think it's important to still go to events and connect with people while sober.

    Originally Posted by Ausaric View Post
    eventually you’ll either quit or die, so it’s kind of an easy choice eventually. I guess you’re not at that point yet.
    The way I see it is that the choice is simple, but putting it to action is far from easy lol.

    Originally Posted by shono0 View Post
    do you guys count days?
    I did in the beginning, but now I just go by months. Some people do count days, even up to hours and minutes with apps! Whatever works best for the person is my motto. I just realized that I am able to do that more easily after hitting a year of sobriety. I know I have a long way to go, but it's cool that the measurements can be changed!


    And sorry for my delayed reply guys. I've been sick the past few days and it is ****ing me up lol. Otherwise, I have been doing pretty well. I'm extremely grateful for hitting the one year milestone! There will be many more lol.
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  10. #430
    Registered User SashaGab's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Joeyw88 View Post
    I'm sorry to hear that and I appreciate you coming back and sharing that!! What was the catalyst for you drinking again? I hope you are able to work through those challenges and get back on track!
    Working long hours and got a lot of work at home as well. Basically just feeling bored and depressed when not drinking, being restless isn't helping either. Desperately need to find a new coping mechanism, I still go to the gym about 5 times a week but it's not enough to keep me motivated.

    Life is just boring man...
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  11. #431
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SashaGab View Post
    Working long hours and got a lot of work at home as well. Basically just feeling bored and depressed when not drinking, being restless isn't helping either. Desperately need to find a new coping mechanism, I still go to the gym about 5 times a week but it's not enough to keep me motivated.

    Life is just boring man...
    That's what I really struggled with. Working a whole bunch and then spending most of the down time getting ****ed up as a way to cope with the anxiety, depression, and boredom. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. I was stuck in this purgatory of life; the two alternating waves where one was that I really wanted to kill myself and be done with life whilst the other wave was wanting to live so I can help my friends, family, and be a positive factor in life. I was on the beach of life, stuck and awash with both these waves coming in different intensities and frequencies. I am grateful that there have been carried off of that beach into a chair of positivity; significant events in my life totally obliterated my old life and way of living and I have been able to create a new life and mentality where I feel happy, satisfied with life, and feeling purposeful.

    I went from having a full time job as a detox nurse with his own apartment, own car (almost paid off), a few ongoing intimate relationships, and a nice savings of $25k+ in the bank along with other possessions that society told me would make me happy. I was getting drunk, high, blasted, ripped, etc pretty much everyday and I was so unhappy. My life now is very simple and I am the most content and satisfied with life than I have ever been in my life, all without relying on substances to boost my mood. I may not have much income or possessions, but I wake up everyday without the immediate feeling of anxiety and stress wrapping around me and constricting myself.

    I apologize for the long and elaborate response of pretty much "make some significant changes in your life other than drinking/using". But I think it's because implementing that level of change in one's own life is also long and elaborate lol. For me, life is the one that mostly kicked me in the ass and folded me up like origami. It was a painful process, but I am a much better and happier person because of it. So, I suppose I implore you to do some deep soul searching and introspection to find the deeper rooted problem that you have been using substances as a band-aid for. Going to meetings and/or involvement with other people who are in recovery or who at least supportive has helped me a lot. They can and do look from the outside in and give me a different perspective that I cannot achieve myself; I can't leave the house of my self/brain lol.

    I appreciate you posting and sharing here. Being honest and vulnerable in sharing your challenges are both extremely difficult values to implement in life because many of us have built up a big ass wall using things like dishonesty to help build the wall and make us invulnerable (so we think, lol). I believe it also helps others, definitely myself, when someone shares on here and is active. Your share has given me inspiration to keep on fighting the good fight and trying to help others. It has also apparently prompted me to do a little bit of journalism in this post in terms of processing and thinking about my feelings and thoughts.

    I hope everyone keeps coming back here and posting here regardless of it being a post of victory or a post of defeat. None of us are perfect and we all have moments of being utterly beaten down. I believe that we truly do not lose our war of recovery during those beat downs until we completely surrender. For me, my complete surrender is/was suicide, so I don't consider a lapse or relapse as a loss or a failure. I have learned to get back up, give myself love and acceptance, and keep going on.
    Last edited by Joeyw88; 04-04-2023 at 09:53 AM.
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  12. #432
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    I thought of this song while doing my chores in our shared sober house and felt it is very relevant and applicable to this thread. I highly suggest listening to it, J5 is hella good.

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  13. #433
    Registered User jreacher's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Joeyw88 View Post
    I thought of this song while doing my chores in our shared sober house and felt it is very relevant and applicable to this thread. I highly suggest listening to it, J5 is hella good.

    [youtube]kUw9Ej5VLnM[youtube]
    I've always loved that song. I still have it on my workout playlist. I never really liked Dave Matthews but I think he was a good contribution to this song.

    I agree that they are really good in general.
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  14. #434
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jreacher View Post
    I've always loved that song. I still have it on my workout playlist. I never really liked Dave Matthews but I think he was a good contribution to this song.

    I agree that they are really good in general.
    Yeah, great song. I like these other two in terms of inspirational/emotional





    I've probably already posted these earlier lol.
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  15. #435
    Registered User SSM12's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by elterrible987 View Post
    I dont drink or do any drugs. If you guys are able to quit your addictions you could end up as successful as me. I make 6 figures and the whore I banged yesterday called me handsome. Hope this motivation helps you guys out.
    Kind of a ****ty post. Meant to neg
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  16. #436
    Registered User SSM12's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by elterrible987 View Post
    its a motivational post you low iq pleb
    Jenniferlawrenceokay.gif

    You know why you wrote it the way you did. Clown.
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  17. #437
    Bro'ist breh there is. brahnotah's Avatar
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    Damn boyyos, day 6 and the sun is out almost got tempted to screw it all up and came and read through this. Glad this was sticky and saw myself in the earlier pages. Time flys.
    *htc*
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  18. #438
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by brahnotah View Post
    Damn boyyos, day 6 and the sun is out almost got tempted to screw it all up and came and read through this. Glad this was sticky and saw myself in the earlier pages. Time flys.
    Nice, almost at a week! And yeah, gotta be careful of the weather, although pretty much anything is a trigger to drink for me lol. I’m glad you came to this thread instead of drinking/using!
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  19. #439
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    I saw this video while eating my breakfast. Looks pretty cool and could be really helpful for identifying character strengths that could be used to be successful in recovery. I've been kind of doing that over the past few weeks without being aware and I think that has been helping me maintain a "flourishing / flow" mindset. I'm probably gonna take the test after my workout for fun although I believe that I have a bit of an idea about what my strengths are.

    https://geni.us/take-strengths-test
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  20. #440
    Foolish User resoog's Avatar
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    i'm so stupid from drugs. this sucks
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  21. #441
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by resoog View Post
    i'm so stupid from drugs. this sucks

    According to who or what? The body and mind are surprisingly resilient!!!
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  22. #442
    Registered User SSM12's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by resoog View Post
    i'm so stupid from drugs. this sucks
    Don’t give up. The longer you are sober the longer the mental clarity comes back. Srs.
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  23. #443
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Hey, what's up my brothers in recovery?! How has everyone been doing?? I've been alright, it has been a bit of a challenging few weeks because there hasn't really been much happening. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for stability, but with not much going on, I have been experiencing much more craving to drink and/or use. Boredom can be a huge trigger for myself and it is especially tough when I am feeling kind of depressed and having anhedonia. So, there isn't much going on and nothing sounds good to me, except substance use lol.

    I've been doing a pretty good job at sticking the course. I find it helpful to remind myself that there are going to be times like this where there's not much activity and/or I'm not in a fantastic, happy mood. I just need to keep doing my self care and finding ways to entertain myself that don't involve substances. I've been going to the gym almost daily which helps a lot and while I've lost some peers, I still have a few peers I am currently coaching. I took advantage of the down time to do some major cleaning and organizing of my room and some of the house.
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  24. #444
    Registered User jreacher's Avatar
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    Good job, Joey, staying sober.. I know those feels.

    If it helps your boredom, check out this game;

    https://www.arkadium.com/games/bubble-shooter/

    We had a thread where some us were competing for the highest score. I'll dig it up later if you're interested.

    I'd be willing to play an online game with you or throw you some good fiction book recommendations. Reading has helped me a ton. Take care.
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  25. #445
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jreacher View Post
    Good job, Joey, staying sober.. I know those feels.

    If it helps your boredom, check out this game;

    https://www.arkadium.com/games/bubble-shooter/

    We had a thread where some us were competing for the highest score. I'll dig it up later if you're interested.

    I'd be willing to play an online game with you or throw you some good fiction book recommendations. Reading has helped me a ton. Take care.
    Thanks, I appreciate the suggestions, support, and love! My mood has slowly been improving this week although there still hasn't been anything super significant happening, which I recognize is a good thing compared to something crazy bad happening. I've still been putting work in the gym and actually have been making some good strength gains this week.

    I am currently on the bus to the gym, then to see my counselor, and lastly meet with my PO. I'm super thankful that my probation officer is pretty chill. So check-ins are easy provided I'm not ****ing up lol.

    I hope that you have been doing well yourself! And on that note, I hope everyone else has also been doing well. I am hoping to see more people post in here, even just a small update or saying hi. I've learned that having positive social interactions (even including online, like this forum) has been incredibly beneficial to my recovery!
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  26. #446
    Registered User miscallday12's Avatar
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    Been sober for 4 days now and dying to go grab some alcohol. Fukkkkkkkkkk wut do NBA playoffs just started too. Every part of my brain is telling me to have fun then quit once playoffs are over. fkkkkkkk
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  27. #447
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by miscallday12 View Post
    Been sober for 4 days now and dying to go grab some alcohol. Fukkkkkkkkkk wut do NBA playoffs just started too. Every part of my brain is telling me to have fun then quit once playoffs are over. fkkkkkkk
    What are your reasons for not drinking? Do you plan on sobriety for the rest of your life? Do you go to any meetings like AA?
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  28. #448
    Registered User Joeyw88's Avatar
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    What's up my misc brahs? Hopefully y'all been having a good week. Mine has been good, but it just won't stop raining here! I'd like to go out biking and ****, but the precipitation makes that challenging lol
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  29. #449
    Registered User bigben2121's Avatar
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    When will it be mine turn
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  30. #450
    Permacut brah CCFD2466's Avatar
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    Sup bros..holding strong! Everyone keep it up. ODAAT
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