Misc Sober Crew Recovery/Sobriety Support

[Joeyw88]

Yes! Trying really hard not to be a "dry drunk" or "dry user." The Grapevine (are you familiar with it?) has a book called Emotional Sobriety that my women's meeting is reading together. It's basically a collection of vignettes from The Grapevine published over the years that are directly tied to emotional sobriety, feeling your feelings, turning your attention towards others, etc.

I gotcha yeah that's challenging! And no, I've never heard of the Grapevine. That book sounds interesting! I really want to take up reading informational stuff like that. When I spent my 19 days in jail, I read Viktor Frankl's Man Search For Meaning (among other books) and I really enjoyed that book! Definitely a great read!

I hope everyone is having a successful and joyous day. My IOP in the morning went well and I had a good time volunteering at the recovery cafe. And then had an amazing lunch there (which is free, hell yeah lol); white bean chili, salad, banana pudding, and chocolate cake. Now I'm gonna do an ab workout, maybe work on our backyard (which is a mess) and then maybe make another Youtube video followed by some Twitch streaming playing Super Metroid lol. This week has flown by so far.

[Joeyw88]

Good afternoon everyone! How is everyone's day going so far?

[0rders]

Good afternoon everyone! How is everyone's day going so far?

I don't usually drink for more than 1-2 days in a row, but these last 5 days ive been drinking everyday. Lots of **** happening in my life and its just cope and I know it. However after 3-4 beers I feel fine. How do I stop it srs

[Joeyw88]

I don't usually drink for more than 1-2 days in a row, but these last 5 days ive been drinking everyday. Lots of **** happening in my life and its just cope and I know it. However after 3-4 beers I feel fine. How do I stop it srs

Well honestly I think it's good to ask yourself how disruptive is the drinking and/or substance use to your life. Are you having many negative consequences as a result of daily drinking? Then, ask yourself do you really want to quit or not. If you determine that drinking and/or drug use has been negatively impacting your life and you cannot keep use in moderation, then you need to be fully committed to recovery. You really can't be ambivalent about recovery or you are going to have a difficult time being successful.

It's hard to answer your question because recovery can be so different from person to person. I feel that recovery is much more than just not drinking or using drugs. It's a lifestyle. For me personally, my alcohol and substance use has so many negative consequences while recovery has so many positive consequences in my life. I've been working on building a strong support network by getting involved in my local recovery community as well as attending different meetings like SMART Recovery, AA, and there's even a quitting kratom support group I like. You need to find ways to have fun and do activities to fill that void left by not drinking and/or using. If you just quit using and engage only in old behaviors, relapse is much more likely. Also, I really believe that persistence is necessary as lapses/relapses aren't super uncommon in recovery. I can't count how many times I've relapsed last year despite being in mental health court. It's been to the point where I was terminated from court and had to serve jail time. But every time I've slipped, I've dusted myself off and got back into treatment/recovery.

[0rders]

Well honestly I think it's good to ask yourself how disruptive is the drinking and/or substance use to your life. Are you having many negative consequences as a result of daily drinking? Then, ask yourself do you really want to quit or not. If you determine that drinking and/or drug use has been negatively impacting your life and you cannot keep use in moderation, then you need to be fully committed to recovery. You really can't be ambivalent about recovery or you are going to have a difficult time being successful.

It's hard to answer your question because recovery can be so different from person to person. I feel that recovery is much more than just not drinking or using drugs. It's a lifestyle. For me personally, my alcohol and substance use has so many negative consequences while recovery has so many positive consequences in my life. I've been working on building a strong support network by getting involved in my local recovery community as well as attending different meetings like SMART Recovery, AA, and there's even a quitting kratom support group I like. You need to find ways to have fun and do activities to fill that void left by not drinking and/or using. If you just quit using and engage only in old behaviors, relapse is much more likely. Also, I really believe that persistence is necessary as lapses/relapses aren't super uncommon in recovery. I can't count how many times I've relapsed last year despite being in mental health court. It's been to the point where I was terminated from court and had to serve jail time. But every time I've slipped, I've dusted myself off and got back into treatment/recovery.

Thanks brah I will take that into consideration. I will be busy with work for 5 days straight now so good chance Ill at least be sober until next weekend (champions league final)

[Shysty021]

Sitting here in the lobby of alcohol clinic drinking water cause I have to take a piss test…had no idea they do piss tests for intake. I wish the mfers would’ve told me its an abstinence program. I think they so random piss test

I’m about to piss dirty af cause I had drinks with my fwb last night

[Joeyw88]

Good afternoon miscers! Are you all excited for the weekend? I don't have anything planned, but the weather here is supposed to be nice. So, I am hoping to get some bicycle time in and enjoy the sun!

Thanks brah I will take that into consideration. I will be busy with work for 5 days straight now so good chance Ill at least be sober until next weekend (champions league final)

That's good to hear! I hope you are able to be kind to yourself and recognize that sobriety/recover doesn't happen overnight, so that you don't end up being hard on yourself.

Sitting here in the lobby of alcohol clinic drinking water cause I have to take a piss test…had no idea they do piss tests for intake. I wish the mfers would’ve told me its an abstinence program. I think they so random piss test

I’m about to piss dirty af cause I had drinks with my fwb last night

Well if it is for detox/inpatient, then there shouldn't be any issue with testing positive for alcohol. When I went into a four week inpatient program, I had drank the morning of my admission date. They had specifically told me that I would not be able to go into inpatient if there was any alcohol or other substances in my drug test. I am fortunate that they were able to take me into detox for three days and then immediately get me into inpatient. I wouldn't be surprised if that is a relatively common occurrence with admissions lol.

I don't know exactly where you're going, but it should work out alright. Since you mentioned the abstinence program, I am curious as to what your goals are. Are you trying to get treatment for substance use with the intention to be able to drink? Or are you looking at complete sobriety and recovery? Sorry, I don't mean to be nosy haha. I am just curious as to what you are hoping to achieve; no judgement from me at all! I wish you the best of luck and I hope things go well for you!

[2010JW]

Been off the green for about a month now or a bit less, feels better man and dreams are still weird

I'm also eating way more than normal though. Feels bat man. And to think, the munchies came when you were high on weed..

[ScramFranklin]

-tonight is 4 days no alcohol. I'm tracking it in excel. The past 28 days, I have only drank 5 days, which is a big improvement for me.

-tonight is 3 days no Kratom.

-I would typically use Phenibut 2ish times a week, on weekends. Not using today, going to try and avoid it the next couple weeks. Havent' gone a week without it in a long time

[Joeyw88]

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope the weekend is starting off strong for everyone! It’s sunny AF here and I just got back from grabbing a fat lunch at the local recovery cafe.

Been off the green for about a month now or a bit less, feels better man and dreams are still weird

I'm also eating way more than normal though. Feels bat man. And to think, the munchies came when you were high on weed..

Congrats on not smoking for about a month! I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling better. I can’t necessarily speak to everyone’s experience with withdrawal, but consuming more food is one of the ways the body and mind fills that void that substances filled. I hope your dreams get less and less weird.

-tonight is 4 days no alcohol. I'm tracking it in excel. The past 28 days, I have only drank 5 days, which is a big improvement for me.

-tonight is 3 days no Kratom.

-I would typically use Phenibut 2ish times a week, on weekends. Not using today, going to try and avoid it the next couple weeks. Havent' gone a week without it in a long time

Great job! That is already fantastic progress on your recovery, congrats! Quitting kratom was honestly the most difficult substance for me to stop using. I ****ing hate the withdrawal.

[Joeyw88]

Good morning misc and happy Monday! How's everyone doing?

[2010JW]

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope the weekend is starting off strong for everyone! It’s sunny AF here and I just got back from grabbing a fat lunch at the local recovery cafe.




Congrats on not smoking for about a month! I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling better. I can’t necessarily speak to everyone’s experience with withdrawal, but consuming more food is one of the ways the body and mind fills that void that substances filled. I hope your dreams get less and less weird.




Great job! That is already fantastic progress on your recovery, congrats! Quitting kratom was honestly the most difficult substance for me to stop using. I ****ing hate the withdrawal.

Thanks man! Yeah I thought about that, it's a way for me to fill that addiction I had.. it's hard asf now and I can say I feel a headache trying to distract myself from smoking. Dreams have been toned down honestly, but now I dream that I smoked again and it turns into a nightmare lol. Don't even want to think about smoking. Been trying to get rid of a wax pen I have but since nobody wants to get it, will probably just destroy it. srs

[AlBHappy]

Thanks man! Yeah I thought about that, it's a way for me to fill that addiction I had.. it's hard asf now and I can say I feel a headache trying to distract myself from smoking. Dreams have been toned down honestly, but now I dream that I smoked again and it turns into a nightmare lol. Don't even want to think about smoking. Been trying to get rid of a wax pen I have but since nobody wants to get it, will probably just destroy it. srs

Allen Carr had 16 steps as part of the easy way to quit drinking. It was basically about changing your mindset.

1. Was being free of destruction
2. Don't 2nd guess your decision for quitting.
Number 3 is apropos to your situation.
3 Don't try not to think about drinking (or smoking in your case). If I said, "don't think about a pink elephant, what would you do? Think about the pink elephant.

Others were you're going to have good days and bad.
You will have cravings but you're in control

[Joeyw88]

Allen Carr had 16 steps as part of the easy way to quit drinking. It was basically about changing your mindset.

1. Was being free of destruction
2. Don't 2nd guess your decision for quitting.
Number 3 is apropos to your situation.
3 Don't try not to think about drinking (or smoking in your case). If I said, "don't think about a pink elephant, what would you do? Think about the pink elephant.

Others were you're going to have good days and bad.
You will have cravings but you're in control

Really great advice! I heard his book was really good; I need to read it still.



Sorry for not posting earlier, it has been a busy day! Hopefully everyone has had another 24 hours sober. I am going to be hitting 60 days this Saturday!

[2010JW]

Allen Carr had 16 steps as part of the easy way to quit drinking. It was basically about changing your mindset.

1. Was being free of destruction
2. Don't 2nd guess your decision for quitting.
Number 3 is apropos to your situation.
3 Don't try not to think about drinking (or smoking in your case). If I said, "don't think about a pink elephant, what would you do? Think about the pink elephant.

Others were you're going to have good days and bad.
You will have cravings but you're in control

Researching more stuff about Allen Carr, also appreciate you for this great post. In the end once you control your head nothing else matters

Really great advice! I heard his book was really good; I need to read it still.



Sorry for not posting earlier, it has been a busy day! Hopefully everyone has had another 24 hours sober. I am going to be hitting 60 days this Saturday!

That's what's up my man, good fuking job! It gets better and the more time passes by the more you realize you don't need no substance or external thing to make you feel good. Being sober is the default of life, how we all function 100% which allows us to tackle our goals clear minded.

[Joeyw88]

That's what's up my man, good fuking job! It gets better and the more time passes by the more you realize you don't need no substance or external thing to make you feel good. Being sober is the default of life, how we all function 100% which allows us to tackle our goals clear minded.

Thanks for the kindness and encouragement! I have been finding this to definitely be true. I've never been sober this long and it has been paying dividends. It's been nice having clarity and making better decisions to help me reach my goals.



And good morning everyone! Weekend is almost here; hopefully everyone is having at least a decent day and celebrating another 24 hours sober.

[DTRrex]

Been a few days folks.

UPDATE:

Sat - drank a whole bottle of vodka... 16.5 units (26 oz)
Sun - drank 10 units vodka (15 oz)
Mon - drank 8 units vodka (12 oz)
Tue - drank 8 units or 12 oz vodka
Wed - drank 7 units or just under 1.5 bottles of wine
Thu - drank 6 units or 9 oz vodka
Fri - drank 10 units or 15 oz rum
Sat - drank 5 units or 7.5 oz vodka
Sun - drank 4 units or 6 oz vodka
Mon - drank 3 units or 4.5 oz vodka

*this applies to last week*

Going into Tue I felt good, stuck with 4.5 oz vodka. Crushed a heavy workout and diet was on point.

Tue night felt bad allergies... normal for this time of the year. My girl had been sick with a cold so maybe I was catching that. No biggie.

Wed it was apparent inwas getting sick. I did what any good alcoholic would do and had about 6 oz of whiskey with honey.

Thu I woke up with EXTREME congestion and fatigue and my lungs felt like a cement mixer with the amount of goop it was churning out nonstop. Shortness of breath set in and surely...... tested positive for covid.

I had OG covid back in early 2020 and fortunately, unlike last time, I have managed to avoid being hospitalized due to high fever and low oxygen like before. No fever and 02 Sat holding between 96-98 which is normal for me with asthma.

Nonetheless, I've been feeling like garbage and you'd THINK this would a prime opportunity for me to get sober but sadly, I feel like crap all day and the only time I feel somewhat normal is after drinking.

Drinking with covid is about the dumbest thing ever, but even before my issues my alcohol, I would have some whiskey to help a cold and the best I feel all day (no surprise) is after a handful of drinks.

So here I am, almost a week later. I'm still sick and still battling this and hoping to turn a corner soon.

For the last week I've been doing anywhere from 8-12 oz of vodka mixed with vitamin water everyday. It's not ideal and it's not ok, but it's where I've ended up. When I drink is the only thing making me feel decent enough to move around and it's the only thing that gets my appetite going.

I really hope I beat this soon and can then can kick this f%cking booze!!! I'm more motivated than ever to get healthy.

[Joeyw88]

Been a few days folks.

UPDATE:

Sat - drank a whole bottle of vodka... 16.5 units (26 oz)
Sun - drank 10 units vodka (15 oz)
Mon - drank 8 units vodka (12 oz)
Tue - drank 8 units or 12 oz vodka
Wed - drank 7 units or just under 1.5 bottles of wine
Thu - drank 6 units or 9 oz vodka
Fri - drank 10 units or 15 oz rum
Sat - drank 5 units or 7.5 oz vodka
Sun - drank 4 units or 6 oz vodka
Mon - drank 3 units or 4.5 oz vodka

*this applies to last week*

Going into Tue I felt good, stuck with 4.5 oz vodka. Crushed a heavy workout and diet was on point.

Tue night felt bad allergies... normal for this time of the year. My girl had been sick with a cold so maybe I was catching that. No biggie.

Wed it was apparent inwas getting sick. I did what any good alcoholic would do and had about 6 oz of whiskey with honey.

Thu I woke up with EXTREME congestion and fatigue and my lungs felt like a cement mixer with the amount of goop it was churning out nonstop. Shortness of breath set in and surely...... tested positive for covid.

I had OG covid back in early 2020 and fortunately, unlike last time, I have managed to avoid being hospitalized due to high fever and low oxygen like before. No fever and 02 Sat holding between 96-98 which is normal for me with asthma.

Nonetheless, I've been feeling like garbage and you'd THINK this would a prime opportunity for me to get sober but sadly, I feel like crap all day and the only time I feel somewhat normal is after drinking.

Drinking with covid is about the dumbest thing ever, but even before my issues my alcohol, I would have some whiskey to help a cold and the best I feel all day (no surprise) is after a handful of drinks.

So here I am, almost a week later. I'm still sick and still battling this and hoping to turn a corner soon.

For the last week I've been doing anywhere from 8-12 oz of vodka mixed with vitamin water everyday. It's not ideal and it's not ok, but it's where I've ended up. When I drink is the only thing making me feel decent enough to move around and it's the only thing that gets my appetite going.

I really hope I beat this soon and can then can kick this f%cking booze!!! I'm more motivated than ever to get healthy.

Hey thanks for the update! I’m sorry to hear you got the vidz. I know drinking while sick isn’t ideal, but right now it’s the only coping skill that you’re used to for the most part. So, I hope you’re able to have some grace for yourself! When I was sick last year, I drank a ton especially because I was simultaneously withdrawing from kratom. I hope you feel better soon!

[2010JW]

Thanks for the kindness and encouragement! I have been finding this to definitely be true. I've never been sober this long and it has been paying dividends. It's been nice having clarity and making better decisions to help me reach my goals.



And good morning everyone! Weekend is almost here; hopefully everyone is having at least a decent day and celebrating another 24 hours sober.

People from my past keep creeping up wanting to smoke. Kind of hypocritical of me but I now despise them, no good no ambition daily pot smokers.. nothing of progress, same old chit, it motivates me that I NEVER want to be in that situation in my life ever again.

It really is amazing. Being articulate when the situation rises is great, something that wasn't there while being high..best part is all the $$ being saved

[Joeyw88]

People from my past keep creeping up wanting to smoke. Kind of hypocritical of me but I now despise them, no good no ambition daily pot smokers.. nothing of progress, same old chit, it motivates me that I NEVER want to be in that situation in my life ever again.

It really is amazing. Being articulate when the situation rises is great, something that wasn't there while being high..best part is all the $$ being saved

I don’t think that’s hypocritical of you; you have just grown out of that desire to smoke and have been experiencing the pleasures of being lucid lol.

I used to smoke hard and looking back, I’m glad I don’t anymore for the very reason you mentioned. I would just **** around and not accomplish much. I wouldn’t say it’s the fault of weed, but I always would be less motivated while smoking.

Definitely lots of benefit to not smoking and/or using other substances including alcohol; saving money is certainly a great benefit haha.

[DTRrex]

Hey thanks for the update! I’m sorry to hear you got the vidz. I know drinking while sick isn’t ideal, but right now it’s the only coping skill that you’re used to for the most part. So, I hope you’re able to have some grace for yourself! When I was sick last year, I drank a ton especially because I was simultaneously withdrawing from kratom. I hope you feel better soon!

Thank you for the encouraging words.

I was so close to getting sober before I got sick and once I start feeling a little better and have the energy and will power back and I am doing this damn thing and getting 100% sober!

[bongowongo]

What are the telltale signs of alcohol addiction srs?


I drink by myself on weekends or 1-3 times per week .. I just have about 2 bottle of soju+ 1 can of beer, that's it.... and that's enough to get me a good buzz. I do drink when I go out with friends/clubbing and that's like mostly once a month or something, but right now my social life is non-existent so I just drink by my self. I dont drink on weekdays though. I can easily go without drinking if I dont have to, but it's just something I enjoy nomsayin?


I'm just not sure if I have an addiction problem lol or if drinking alone is "sad" ... I met a few people and they always commented that drinking alone is pathetic and sad - Not that I care because I love having drinks by myself and watching a movie/playing a game and having my dinner afterwards lol... But it got me thinking if I do indeed have a problem or if it'll snowball into a real issue.


Part of the reason is my dad is pretty much an alcoholic in a sense, he's not drunk in the day time - nor is he an abusive or stuff like that, but man enjoy's his drink EVERY NIGHT, It's actually a bit worrying ... He drinks every night and gets buzzed lol - He'll even refuse to go to a restaurant if they dont serve alcohol. In a sense he's like me (or am I'm like him) but he he drinks every night by himself to get buzzed, whereas i'm buzzed only on the weekends.

respect srs post

[Joeyw88]

I don’t feel like drinking on your own is sad, but everyone is entitled to their own opinions. The DSM 5 (diagnostic and statistical manual) has 11 criteria to diagnosis alcohol use disorder:



A maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by 2 or more of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period:

Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended.

There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.

A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects.

Craving, or a strong desire or urge to use alcohol.

Recurrent alcohol use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home.

Continued alcohol use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of alcohol.

Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of alcohol use.

Recurrent alcohol use in situations in which it is physically hazardous.

Alcohol use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by alcohol.

Tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
A need for markedly increased amounts of alcohol to achieve intoxication or desired effect.
A markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of alcohol.

Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:
The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for alcohol
Alcohol (or a closely related substance, such as a benzodiazepine) is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.

I didn’t look at how many criteria are needed to diagnosis alcohol use disorder, but I know it’s at least a few. Obviously, the more criteria that apply, the more severe the alcohol use disorder.

https://www.medscape.com/answers/285...l-use-disorder

[DTRrex]

What are the telltale signs of alcohol addiction srs?


I drink by myself on weekends or 1-3 times per week .. I just have about 2 bottle of soju+ 1 can of beer, that's it.... and that's enough to get me a good buzz. I do drink when I go out with friends/clubbing and that's like mostly once a month or something, but right now my social life is non-existent so I just drink by my self. I dont drink on weekdays though. I can easily go without drinking if I dont have to, but it's just something I enjoy nomsayin?


I'm just not sure if I have an addiction problem lol or if drinking alone is "sad" ... I met a few people and they always commented that drinking alone is pathetic and sad - Not that I care because I love having drinks by myself and watching a movie/playing a game and having my dinner afterwards lol... But it got me thinking if I do indeed have a problem or if it'll snowball into a real issue.


Part of the reason is my dad is pretty much an alcoholic in a sense, he's not drunk in the day time - nor is he an abusive or stuff like that, but man enjoy's his drink EVERY NIGHT, It's actually a bit worrying ... He drinks every night and gets buzzed lol - He'll even refuse to go to a restaurant if they dont serve alcohol. In a sense he's like me (or am I'm like him) but he he drinks every night by himself to get buzzed, whereas i'm buzzed only on the weekends.

respect srs post

I'm sure there are plenty of formal definitions.

I drank alone sporadically for years and never had a problem. Some nights there'd be nothing to do and I'd sip on some bourbon while watching a movie or something. Then I might not touch alcohol for a couple weeks... so I don't think drinking alone at home means you're an alcoholic. But, it is something that just about every alcoholic does.

Mine creeped up very slowly... to the point I didn't even recognize it happening. I kept telling myself I was in control and I could stop whenever I wanted. Looking back in retrospect, I think the biggest signs that I developed a problem and had become an alcoholic were:

- it became habitual and automatic. I would come home from work and have a drink almost like it was on autopilot every day.

- my consumption grew and grew in volume of alcohol. It used to be that drinking a 1/4 bottle was a big deal. Eventually I could polish off a whole bottle.... my 1/4 bottle drinking self would have seen that as impossible.

- drinking became less about the social enjoyment factor or relaxing factor. I was literally chasing a high, and that's when I knew it was getting really bad. I was drinking to get drunk. It isn't uncommon for me to pound my first 3 drinks in less than 20 min so I can get that hard buzz asap.

- loved ones started noticing I was drinking too much and too fast and starting to act differently when intoxicated.

- I kept telling myself I could stop whenever... it was easy to say that because I never stopped (drinking every single day... sometime only a few, sometimes a lot... but it was every night. When I finally tried to stop and experienced withdrawal and cravings for the first time, that was a definite eye opener.

Some say if you have to ask yourself/wonder if you have a problem... you have a problem. But having a problem with drinking doesn't necessarily mean you're an alcoholic in my experience. There's levels to this sh!t haha.

Also, keep in mind not every alcoholic is a word slurring loser under a bridge. So don't tell yourself you don't have a problem just because you haven't hit rock bottom yet.
- I never drank during the day. Only at night.
- I never got a DUI
- I have a very successful career that I built and grew WHILE being an alcoholic

A high functioning alcoholic is better than low functioning, but it's still a serious problem and you usually have a lot more to lose.

If I could go back in time, the point in time I'd want to have a conversation with my old self and prevent things from getting out of hand would have been in my very late 20's/early 30's when I went from someone who only drank once in a while on a weekend to someone who was starting to drink 3-4x a week, mostly after work.... that, I feel, was the starting point for me... the coals that lit the proverbial fire.

[veggie530]

Hello sober bro's

Remember that our choices shape who we are, what we are and how we perceive ourselves. Choose wisely.

Cheers

[DTRrex]

Hello sober bro's

Remember that our choices shape who we are, what we are and how we perceive ourselves. Choose wisely.

Cheers

Wise words.

Be well bro.

[bongowongo]

I'm sure there are plenty of formal definitions.

I drank alone sporadically for years and never had a problem. Some nights there'd be nothing to do and I'd sip on some bourbon while watching a movie or something. Then I might not touch alcohol for a couple weeks... so I don't think drinking alone at home means you're an alcoholic. But, it is something that just about every alcoholic does.

Mine creeped up very slowly... to the point I didn't even recognize it happening. I kept telling myself I was in control and I could stop whenever I wanted. Looking back in retrospect, I think the biggest signs that I developed a problem and had become an alcoholic were:

- it became habitual and automatic. I would come home from work and have a drink almost like it was on autopilot every day.

- my consumption grew and grew in volume of alcohol. It used to be that drinking a 1/4 bottle was a big deal. Eventually I could polish off a whole bottle.... my 1/4 bottle drinking self would have seen that as impossible.

- drinking became less about the social enjoyment factor or relaxing factor. I was literally chasing a high, and that's when I knew it was getting really bad. I was drinking to get drunk. It isn't uncommon for me to pound my first 3 drinks in less than 20 min so I can get that hard buzz asap.

- loved ones started noticing I was drinking too much and too fast and starting to act differently when intoxicated.

- I kept telling myself I could stop whenever... it was easy to say that because I never stopped (drinking every single day... sometime only a few, sometimes a lot... but it was every night. When I finally tried to stop and experienced withdrawal and cravings for the first time, that was a definite eye opener.

Some say if you have to ask yourself/wonder if you have a problem... you have a problem. But having a problem with drinking doesn't necessarily mean you're an alcoholic in my experience. There's levels to this sh!t haha.

Also, keep in mind not every alcoholic is a word slurring loser under a bridge. So don't tell yourself you don't have a problem just because you haven't hit rock bottom yet.
- I never drank during the day. Only at night.
- I never got a DUI
- I have a very successful career that I built and grew WHILE being an alcoholic

A high functioning alcoholic is better than low functioning, but it's still a serious problem and you usually have a lot more to lose.

If I could go back in time, the point in time I'd want to have a conversation with my old self and prevent things from getting out of hand would have been in my very late 20's/early 30's when I went from someone who only drank once in a while on a weekend to someone who was starting to drink 3-4x a week, mostly after work.... that, I feel, was the starting point for me... the coals that lit the proverbial fire.

Interesting. Thank you for sharing srs... Yeah I think I can find similarities in your situation and mine, especially the part where it creeps up on you and you dont realise it. Feels like it might be a snowball issue for me in the future, even though rn I would say that I'm just doing it because I enjoy it and at this point in time it's not such a big issue ... It can lead to a bad one in the future potentially. Definitely feel you on the high functioning part, I still know my priorities and I dont/try not to let let my "vices" stop me from doing my priorities - like no clubbing on weekdays, or going out till late on the weekdays etc. So I know if I was to spiral, i'll probably be something similar, because my dad is definitely a high functioning alcohol, as he only drinks at night every night, but in the morning he's in his proper work/business mode and I definitely take after him in the fact that we both like our drinks, but I definitely dont want to go down his route and I've been trying to get him to stop his nightly drinks just for the sake of his health. The bit in bold definitely hits.

[Joeyw88]

Hey good evening everyone! I have not been feeling so well the past few days and my bedroom mate tested positive for the vidz. I hit 60 days today, so I wanted to at least post that. Hopefully everyone else’s recovery is coming along nicely.

[RustleU]

I fell off the wagon for a few days this weekend but I will get back at it starting tomorrow. Not going to beat myself up over it. I've been making incremental improvements and still am. Tomorrow will not be a fun day but it will pass.

[Joeyw88]

I fell off the wagon for a few days this weekend but I will get back at it starting tomorrow. Not going to beat myself up over it. I've been making incremental improvements and still am. Tomorrow will not be a fun day but it will pass.

I’m glad you aren’t going to waste your time or energy beating yourself up. I forgot exactly how it went: tumbling forward is still moving forward. Sometimes even just pausing and not moving back can be progress in its own way.