Insecurity, masculinity, and trying to be positive

[KrazyKanuck]

Hi all,

Curious as to what motivates other guys to get into bodybuilding and what motivates you to keep going.

I started working out in college because I was always the weakest, scrawniest kid in my family and school, and my brother, cousins and dad really made me aware of it. I think I’m still trying to « prove » myself still in my thirties, but it makes for really poor and ineffective motivation. If I fail at reaching my goals I again feel like less of a man and fall back into the body image/discouragement spiral.

Has anyone else struggled with something like this? Have you found a way to shift your mindset away from being negative (I’m not enough and never will be) to something positive? Some days it feels like working out is my punishment for not being strong and good enough and I’d really like to get away from that. Thoughts?

Thanks

Alex

[Vujic02]

Hi Alex, I'm fairly new to the gym community. I've been working out for about 10 months. The reason why I started going to the gym is because of a adductor injury. Basically I couldn't walk, ride a bicycle etc.

So the main reason for going to the gym was because of the injury, BUT, I've always been feeling unhappy/unsatisfied with my body.
My body right now, is kinda skinny fat. I've always felt less valuable just because of how I look. It even affected my confidence. I wore only like 3 shirts because of my chest ( I think they look like man boobs basically, which they do ).
But I learned that the way my chest looks doesn't define my value of myself in my head.

What I wanted to say is: I'm still in the process of achieving my dream physique, but one thing that I learned in the process is to accept how I am now, but aim to get better every single day.
That's all that I can say to you.

Think of it this way, you can accept how you are looking right now, but be determined to change, and do everything in your power to change to be how you want to be.

I think that we are the same case, but different scenario. Basically I was shamed because of my man boobs, and you were picked on for being "screwny".

Also... Read some books, this isn't really a working out / feeling strong problem, this is a mental problem.

I would recommend - Subtle art of not giving a **** by Mark Manson.

Hope it gets better for you brah