Calling on the person who "works-out" I hope..

[bodyhard]

My wife Aunt has some kind of skin cancer on her leg (picture of her leg below)which has put her in really bad shape, she is close to 80. She was hospitalized and then bedridden for almost two weeks. While she was in the hospital for the leg she was tested positive for covid. She has been home now for a week but can't really walk without a walker and she is starting to get her strength back.

She can't walk up or downstairs as yet, today she had a doctors appointment and they needed someone to carry her down the stairs and back up when she is done. Her husband is trying to get Medicaid/Medicare to pay for that assistance but it hasn't gone through yet. Patty's two sisters are close to Patty Aunt, one lives downstairs as they rent the bottom half of the house and one lives in the house right next door. They both have husbands who are available, yet they ask me if I could carry her down and up the stairs, I live about a half hour away.

I don't mind doing this at all as I love Patty's aunt she is a sweetheart, but I can't help to wonder why they didn't ask the other two brother in-laws. I hope it is becuase I workout and not becuase they asked and they both said no.

This is her leg, it has since gotten better.

[PhDPepper1111]

Yup. I call this 'pickup truck syndrome.' I have a pickup and people are always asking me to help them move stuff, and most people with trucks get the same thing.
I do also get asked to help move furniture and stuff since people know I lift.
Of course in your situation who knows? Maybe the other family members did say no

[bodyhard]

Yup. I call this 'pickup truck syndrome.' I have a pickup and people are always asking me to help them move stuff, and most people with trucks get the same thing.
I do also get asked to help move furniture and stuff since people know I lift.
Of course in your situation who knows? Maybe the other family members did say no

I was thinking, maybe they made up an excuse or something? I don't know I am just speculating, but I really do hope they thought, "lets just ask John he works-out" and not that they asked them and they said no or had an excuse why they couldn't.

[Plateauplower]

I was thinking, maybe they made up an excuse or something? I don't know I am just speculating, but I really do hope they thought, "lets just ask John he works-out" and not that they asked them and they said no or had an excuse why they couldn't.

Probably - less chance of dropping / falling down the stairs w/her

[PhDPepper1111]

Also - hope Patty's aunt feels better! That's some scary stuff!

[bodyhard]

Probably - less chance of dropping / falling down the stairs w/her

One of the husband is like 6'6" 240lbs the other is like 5'5" 140lbs, Patty's aunt is like 5' weighs 112lbs I doubt any one of them would have a problem with carrying her, but I see what you are saying.

Also - hope Patty's aunt feels better! That's some scary stuff!

Thanks man, I just got back from bringing her up the stairs, doctor said all looks good and she is in the right direction, she needs to start physical therapy and they are waiting on the insurance to cover it.

[weiss1967]

They both have husbands who are available, yet they ask me

Other parties didn't say no, but never been asked. Truck has nothing to do with it. We always turn to a nice guy for help.

[NorwichGrad]

They asked you cuz the saw you warm up with 405-lbs deadlift. So they were like

"Let's ask John. Cuz he won't drop auntie."

This ^^ is semi-joke. But truth is it's in our DNA to seek the 'strongest' when common sense requires physical strength to get the job done. It's human nature.

Consider it an honor, John.

Hope auntie gets well soon.

[bodyhard]

Other parties didn't say no, but never been asked. Truck has nothing to do with it. We always turn to a nice guy for help.

I thought about that as well (never asked them) and in speaking with one of my relatives, she said "Maybe she just feels more comfortable with you" I haven't asked and I wont. However her husband said they might need me tomorrow again and I didn't say no but told my wife that leaving work (I work remote) on more than one occasion and back to back days can get me in trouble.

They asked you cuz the saw you warm up with 405-lbs deadlift. So they were like

"Let's ask John. Cuz he won't drop auntie."

This ^^ is semi-joke. But truth is it's in our DNA to seek the 'strongest' when common sense requires physical strength to get the job done. It's human nature.

Consider it an honor, John.

Hope auntie gets well soon.

LOL you're a funny guy, like I said I don't mind doing it, was just wondering how they came to ask me and not the folks who live right there. Maybe it will come up in conversation one day.

[quicksand jesus]

My wife Aunt has some kind of skin cancer on her leg (picture of her leg below)which has put her in really bad shape, she is close to 80. She was hospitalized and then bedridden for almost two weeks. While she was in the hospital for the leg she was tested positive for covid. She has been home now for a week but can't really walk without a walker and she is starting to get her strength back.

She can't walk up or downstairs as yet, today she had a doctors appointment and they needed someone to carry her down the stairs and back up when she is done. Her husband is trying to get Medicaid/Medicare to pay for that assistance but it hasn't gone through yet. Patty's two sisters are close to Patty Aunt, one lives downstairs as they rent the bottom half of the house and one lives in the house right next door. They both have husbands who are available, yet they ask me if I could carry her down and up the stairs, I live about a half hour away.

I don't mind doing this at all as I love Patty's aunt she is a sweetheart, but I can't help to wonder why they didn't ask the other two brother in-laws. I hope it is becuase I workout and not becuase they asked and they both said no.

This is her leg, it has since gotten better.

Those two brother in-laws should be carrying Auntie down the stairs… they’re right there FFS!

[bodyhard]

Those two brother in-laws should be carrying Auntie down the stairs… they’re right there FFS!

I agree with you 100% but I don't know the whole story, I don't know if they asked them or not. Just find it weird that they asking me while two of them live right there.

I have to do it again today, luckily it is at 12:00 PM and I don't have any meetings.

[ajdahlheimer]

I constantly get asked by family, friends, and neighbors to help them lift/move things. I worked as a mover for 9 years on the weekends though and delivered furniture for my after school job back in high school. It is actually much more about technique than it is pure strength. I enjoy helping people with the stuff though. Did an organ for my daughter's friend recently. My only condition is I tell the person "they have to do what I say" if they are lifting something with me. You can get injured very easily lifting something heavy with someone who doesn't know what they are doing. I was moving a portable electric fireplace (very heavy) down a long staircase (me on the bottom) with a guy one time and he thought it was a good idea to set his end down about half way through. "Let me just hold this whole thing while you rest/catch your breath." Fahk.

-AJ

[bodyhard]

I constantly get asked by family, friends, and neighbors to help them lift/move things. I worked as a mover for 9 years on the weekends though and delivered furniture for my after school job back in high school. It is actually much more about technique than it is pure strength. I enjoy helping people with the stuff though. Did an organ for my daughter's friend recently. My only condition is I tell the person "they have to do what I say" if they are lifting something with me. You can get injured very easily lifting something heavy with someone who doesn't know what they are doing. I was moving a portable electric fireplace (very heavy) down a long staircase (me on the bottom) with a guy one time and he thought it was a good idea to set his end down about half way through. "Let me just hold this whole thing while you rest/catch your breath." Fahk.

-AJ

Thats totally understandable, but in my case we are talking about 112lbs 80 year old woman who has two able bodies who live right next to her. That is why I am hoping that they just asked me becuase "Hey John works out" or like my family member said, they (her and her husband) just feel more comfortable with me. I would hate to find out that the other two BIL said no or made an excuse.

[ajdahlheimer]

Thats totally understandable, but in my case we are talking about 112lbs 80 year old woman who has to able bodies who live right next to her. That is why I am hoping that they just asked me becuase "Hey John works out" or like my family member said, they (her and her husband) just feel more comfortable with me. I would hate to find out that the other two BIL said no or made an excuse.

Part of it is they probably know you'd say yes/enjoy doing things for other people.

[bodyhard]

Part of it is they probably know you'd say yes/enjoy doing things for other people.

I hear ya

Today it was difficult bringing her down the stairs becuase it is snowing and the stairs were slippery, not fun at all

[eomrat]

not becuase they asked and they both said no.

That doesn't sound right. That line of thinking must be wrong.
They asked you because they trust you the most with something precious to them.

[mtpockets]

Helping elders is a privilege and an honor.

Kudos for helping regardless of the reason.

[bodyhard]

That doesn't sound right. That line of thinking must be wrong.
They asked you because they trust you the most with something precious to them.

I hope so.

Helping elders is a privilege and an honor.

Kudos for helping regardless of the reason.

Thanks man!


When I went to take her back up the stairs, they want me to do it again tomorrow, I told Patty it's going to be hard to keep leaving work twice a day for 2 hours. She told me to tell her Aunt I can't do it, but I feel bad I can't say no

[Bando]

I constantly get asked by family, friends, and neighbors to help them lift/move things. I worked as a mover for 9 years on the weekends though and delivered furniture for my after school job back in high school. It is actually much more about technique than it is pure strength. I enjoy helping people with the stuff though. Did an organ for my daughter's friend recently. My only condition is I tell the person "they have to do what I say" if they are lifting something with me. You can get injured very easily lifting something heavy with someone who doesn't know what they are doing. I was moving a portable electric fireplace (very heavy) down a long staircase (me on the bottom) with a guy one time and he thought it was a good idea to set his end down about half way through. "Let me just hold this whole thing while you rest/catch your breath." Fahk.

-AJ

I worked for a moving company long before being a serious lifter and agree with everything you're saying. A person with muscle might be strong with certain lifts but that doesn't qualify them to be good at moving stuff. Sure, being strong doesn't hurt but you're inviting them to get an injury that will keep them out of the gym.

The owner of the moving company I worked for was strong as a bull but was rarely called upon to use his strength, he used his mind and experience. We moved safes, pianos, sailboats and a card catalog out of a library. The worst was the ladies with 600 books in their attics.

That experience helped me my whole life since then, it's amazing how many people are scared of carrying a dresser up or down stairs (take the drawers out, go with angle of the stairs, top guy grabs the leading edge of the top, tilt it, bottom guy grabs the legs or base on the topside.)

I told Patty it's going to be hard to keep leaving work twice a day for 2 hours. She told me to tell her Aunt I can't do it, but I feel bad I can't say no

You gotta do it IMO. If you don't it will be leaving 3 times for 2 hours then 4 times for 2 hours, that's how this stuff works with family every time.

[bodyhard]

You gotta do it IMO. If you don't it will be leaving 3 times for 2 hours then 4 times for 2 hours, that's how this stuff works with family every time.

I am hoping the insurance approves it and they will get the right people not only helping her down/up the stairs but also driving her to her appointments. right now I help carry her down/up the stairs but her husband is driving her to/back from her appointments, he is also close to 80.

[bodyhard]

So just got back from taking her down the stairs for her appointment, bad news her husband told me they don't have any service that will help her up and down the stairs, only to drive her to and from, this makes no sense.

[ajdahlheimer]

I worked for a moving company long before being a serious lifter and agree with everything you're saying. A person with muscle might be strong with certain lifts but that doesn't qualify them to be good at moving stuff. Sure, being strong doesn't hurt but you're inviting them to get an injury that will keep them out of the gym.

The owner of the moving company I worked for was strong as a bull but was rarely called upon to use his strength, he used his mind and experience. We moved safes, pianos, sailboats and a card catalog out of a library. The worst was the ladies with 600 books in their attics.

That experience helped me my whole life since then, it's amazing how many people are scared of carrying a dresser up or down stairs (take the drawers out, go with angle of the stairs, top guy grabs the leading edge of the top, tilt it, bottom guy grabs the legs or base on the topside.)

Sounds like you definitely know the struggle, Bando. Honestly, the best movers the company I worked for had--went about 160 pounds in body weight. The veteran guys there said the "bigger gym/football guys" never were good movers because they were clumsy and had no endurance (moving is like 95% endurance, especially talking a typical 2000+ sq. ft. home size job). In fact, one of the drivers there told me that I "broke the stereotype" for ex-football players not being good movers there. Of course, he didn't realize that I had done it before years earlier in high school. Gun safes, pianos, pool tables, etc. can be a b1tch, but the heaviest thing I have ever lifted as a mover were hot tubs. I've taught my son enough of the techniques you laid out there where I feel comfortable moving stuff around my house with him (4 level split home, so lots of stairs).

Funny story, I had a new refrigerator delivered to my house a few years back and the two guys told me it was too big to fit in my front door. I showed him this trick where you open the doors of the fridge (French door style fridge) prior to going through the door and it slipped right through on both sides.

-AJ

[bodyhard]

So one of the executives in my company questioned why I keep leaving twice a day and sometimes disrupting a meeting and while my immediate boss (the CISO/COO) knows whats going on with my wife's aunt I made a video to show him I am not leaving just to goof off. He and I are peers and I think he sometimes feel I am favored over him and has something against me.

My boss told me that was unnecessary, but I just wanted to throw it in his face.

Anyway, since I now have a video I wanted to show it to you guys as well so you can see how fragile she is and why I find it hard to say I can't assist them.

[Oceanside]

So one of the executives in my company questioned why I keep leaving twice a day and sometimes disrupting a meeting and while my immediate boss (the CISO/COO) knows whats going on with my wife's aunt I made a video to show him I am not leaving just to goof off. He and I are peers and I think he sometimes feel I am favored over him and has something against me.

My boss told me that was unnecessary, but I just wanted to throw it in his face.

Anyway, since I now have a video I wanted to show it to you guys as well so you can see how fragile she is and why I find it hard to say I can't assist them.

looks like you've got your hands full john...

my mother was a double amputee the last year of her life (diabetes),,so every morning I was there to get her out of bed and every night I was there to get her in bed, consider it a calling

[bodyhard]

looks like you've got your hands full john...

my mother was a double amputee the last year of her life (diabetes),,so every morning I was there to get her out of bed and every night I was there to get her in bed, consider it a calling

Sorry to hear about your mom OS. I'll keep that in mind.

[Bando]

Funny story, I had a new refrigerator delivered to my house a few years back and the two guys told me it was too big to fit in my front door. I showed him this trick where you open the doors of the fridge (French door style fridge) prior to going through the door and it slipped right through on both sides.

-AJ

Can confirm, I was 160lb mover.

Those doors also come off with like 10 easy screws.

Had a washer delivered a few years back and the guys from Lowes had this crazy harness contraption, it was like they were each wearing a safety harness with straps that went under the washer and they faced each other with the washer on straps and just walked it in. I asked them how that could possibly feel safe but they insisted it was the easiest way to move an appliance, didn't have anything like that back in my day.

Great vid BH!

[bodyhard]

Great vid BH!

Thanks Bando, as I mentioned I recorded it (my sister in law helped record it) for my job. But I figured I post it here so you guys can see why it's hard for me to say no.

Last night Patty and I ate dinner there and her husband told me the insurance did not even approve getting transportation. So jokingly he said, so you are our stair transporter. So I said jokingly, how much you guys going to pay me per transport.

[bodyhard]

If anyone knows a way around calling the right folks to getting her the help she needs that would be greatly appreciated. One thing I think its hurting them is that they both have a pension, 401ks and recieve social security. I could be wrong but that's what I believe.

[Bando]

My wife works in this field (LMSW) and she read your post.

She said 1st of all the hospital did a poor job of discharge planning, did they know she has stairs to deal with?

She said best bet is to start with her PCP and see if she qualifies for at home rehab and a visiting nurse service. I think the doc tells insurance what she needs, insurance doesn't tell them what she needs.

[bodyhard]

My wife works in this field (LMSW) and she read your post.

She said 1st of all the hospital did a poor job of discharge planning, did they know she has stairs to deal with?

She said best bet is to start with her PCP and see if she qualifies for at home rehab and a visiting nurse service. I think the doc tells insurance what she needs, insurance doesn't tell them what she needs.

Not sure about the hospital aware of the stairs I will ask, I do know they went through her PCP for the rehab/visiting nurse and it was not approved by her insurance.