Female with an Eating Disorder returning to lifting after a back injury

[Athena]

Well, this is interesting.

You've got body image issues, and you're trying to date guys young enough to be your children, which only feeds your body image issues.

You really like to punish yourself, don't you?

[DustinTheHuss]

Well, this is interesting.

You've got body image issues, and you're trying to date guys young enough to be your children, which only feeds your body image issues.

You really like to punish yourself, don't you?

My therapist doesn't like me seeing younger men not only because of the body image issues, but also because I've become emotionally attached to some and hurt because they just want casual. I know that it's not sustainable long term as most of them want to get married and have children.

I've seen men my age but they have been very short-term and they were mostly men across the country from me (5 hour plane ride), so they also were "unavailable" according to my therapist.

I fall for unavailable men but available men scare me and I sabotage the relationship. It's kind of because I still live with my estranged husband even though we haven't been physically together for 15 years I still have some emotional attachment. I don't think I can see a many my age in my location until I break the ties from him, move out and get formally divorced. I've been with him since I was 15 years old so there is a long term background. I've moved out a couple of times but always moved back home.

So I'm kind of stuck with being celibate or what one guy on here recommended was an age appropriate friends with benefits that could possibly lead to more but not so serious in the beginning that I get scared.

Of course I have body image issues and I was drawn to bodybuilding to sculpt my body with weights !!

[DustinTheHuss]

I played tennis against the ball machine last night. I was exhausted after camping and the ATV as it took a lot of upper body and core strength to ride those things.

Now I'm trying to get the energy to do some exercise tonight. Even putting clothes in the dryer seems exhausting lol.

[DustinTheHuss]

I was able to push myself to do a F45 workout last night.

My weight is up 7 lbs in a month according to the Dr. This isn’t good. The intuitive eating junk food phase has pretty much ended as I’m craving healthy food and checking in with my hunger and fullness cues. I guess the goal from the book (I’m halfway through it) is to not label food good or bad but to go by hunger and fullness but balance out meals and snacks with carb, fat and protein for satiety.

I just feel like I’m carrying so much weight.

Just started a light cell tech too so I can help change my body comp. My Dr also lowered my SSRI dose as that can lead to weight gain, too.

[DustinTheHuss]

Yesterday I was exhausted but forced myself to the gym for back and bi:

- Lat pulldowns
- Low lat pulls
- Lat pushdowns with small bar
- Bicep curls on machine
- Bicep curls on pull
- Closed grip lat pulldown

All 3 sets, with the last 2 sets to failure.

[Payton1221]

I was able to push myself to do a F45 workout last night.

My weight is up 7 lbs in a month according to the Dr. This isn’t good. The intuitive eating junk food phase has pretty much ended as I’m craving healthy food and checking in with my hunger and fullness cues. I guess the goal from the book (I’m halfway through it) is to not label food good or bad but to go by hunger and fullness but balance out meals and snacks with carb, fat and protein for satiety.

I just feel like I’m carrying so much weight.

Just started a light cell tech too so I can help change my body comp. My Dr also lowered my SSRI dose as that can lead to weight gain, too.

Like a lot of people on here, I tracked macros for several years. FOR ME, I'm not going to do it again and I have weighed fewer than 5 times in the last 12 months and I'd like to not weigh at all this year. I have a certain level of leanness that I can see in the morning when I weigh low 170's. I can visually see when I'm a few pounds over that, and I'm positive that I've not strayed more than 5 lbs over since I essentially quit weighing myself.

I've been doing 12/12 IF. It's not hardcore, but I quit eating ~10 PM and don't start (except for two coffees with splenda and ~30 cals of sweetener) until 10 AM. I like it.

Regarding your cell tech product, I know of those who have taken the world's best (and once legal) weightloss product which is still available (but no longer legal) if you know where to look.

Keep on, keepin' on!

[DustinTheHuss]

Like a lot of people on here, I tracked macros for several years. FOR ME, I'm not going to do it again and I have weighed fewer than 5 times in the last 12 months and I'd like to not weigh at all this year. I have a certain level of leanness that I can see in the morning when I weigh low 170's. I can visually see when I'm a few pounds over that, and I'm positive that I've not strayed more than 5 lbs over since I essentially quit weighing myself.

I've been doing 12/12 IF. It's not hardcore, but I quit eating ~10 PM and don't start (except for two coffees with splenda and ~30 cals of sweetener) until 10 AM. I like it.

Regarding your cell tech product, I know of those who have taken the world's best (and once legal) weightloss product which is still available (but no longer legal) if you know where to look.

Keep on, keepin' on!

Thank you for your commentary! Yeah the mirror tells a lot. Tape measures do as well, although I tend not to use those in the winter since I'm wearing bulkier clothing in the morning. People don't need a scale, especially when you lift as muscle gains can be seen as fat gains.

Yeah I know exactly what you're talking about

[DustinTheHuss]

I had a few jog/walks since the last post as I missed my chest/tri day yesterday. Saturday I walked/jogged for 5 miles so now I have a blister. I didn't plan the last 2 miles as it was walking around with a bar crawl. At least I walked off some of the alcohol.

Today I have to get in that weight workout. I'm on a light cell tech so I have to take advantage of this cycle.

[Payton1221]

At least I walked off some of the alcohol.

I'm on a light cell tech so I have to take advantage of this cycle.

You might want to research the combination of these. I know that some supps aren't friendly to your liver and the use of alcohol might exacerbate things.

When I drank (16 years sober), I used Tylenol for hangovers. That was probably a double whammy too as Tylenol isn't great for your liver either.

[DustinTheHuss]

You might want to research the combination of these. I know that some supps aren't friendly to your liver and the use of alcohol might exacerbate things.

When I drank (16 years sober), I used Tylenol for hangovers. That was probably a double whammy too as Tylenol isn't great for your liver either.

Thank you. Sorry I missed this. Yes, the Dr. had me stop Tylenol and alcohol for a month and my liver enzymes went down. Cell tech isn't going to help, though.

Update:

I had surgery on Thursday so I haven't done much exercise since then. I hope to get in a short walk today and start lifting again early next week.

[Payton1221]

I had surgery on Thursday so I haven't done much exercise since then. I hope to get in a short walk today and start lifting again early next week.

I hope everything went well.

[Samraiwise]

Talking about "not label food good or bad", sometimes purposely I pick random foods that I usually don't eat in the supermarket. Hoping that way I am able to eat the nutrients specifically I lack.

Hey girl, a good journal, keep it going!!

[DustinTheHuss]

I hope everything went well.

It went well, thanks. I’m just sleeping a lot after the general anesthesia. Hopefully that will wear off tomorrow!

[DustinTheHuss]

Talking about "not label food good or bad", sometimes purposely I pick random foods that I usually don't eat in the supermarket. Hoping that way I am able to eat the nutrients specifically I lack.

Hey girl, a good journal, keep it going!!

That’s a good idea to purposely pick random foods because there may be the nutrients you miss. I tell myself to mix it up and get different fruits and veggies as I’ll get complacent, but even other foods is a good idea like regular potatoes instead of sweet potatoes or zucchini or something I wouldn’t normally buy.

[Payton1221]

That’s a good idea to purposely pick random foods because there may be the nutrients you miss. I tell myself to mix it up and get different fruits and veggies as I’ll get complacent, but even other foods is a good idea like regular potatoes instead of sweet potatoes or zucchini or something I wouldn’t normally buy.

There are websites where if you enter the foods that you ate on any given day that it'll tell you what nutrients you're lacking. I know that I'm often lacking in certain vitamins as I'm a bit regimented in what I eat (especially Mon-Fri when at work: oatmeal, pinto beans supplemented with chicken, etc.). Whole foods would be better but I take a multi, magnesium, Vit C, and Vit D every day.

[DustinTheHuss]

There are websites where if you enter the foods that you ate on any given day that it'll tell you what nutrients you're lacking. I know that I'm often lacking in certain vitamins as I'm a bit regimented in what I eat (especially Mon-Fri when at work: oatmeal, pinto beans supplemented with chicken, etc.). Whole foods would be better but I take a multi, magnesium, Vit C, and Vit D every day.

That's good to know, thanks.

I forgot about this thread. I've been making good progress with my exercise and signed up for a 50 mile walk this month to benefit charity. My strength is really increasing.

[Payton1221]

That's good to know, thanks.

I forgot about this thread. I've been making good progress with my exercise and signed up for a 50 mile walk this month to benefit charity. My strength is really increasing.

Will that be done in one day?

I considered doing one that was created, I think, by Teddy Roosevelt (and then later brought back by JFK). You have three consecutive days to walk a total of 50 miles but it must be done over no more than 20 total hours. The clock starts when you start walking on day 1, and you can take rests as needed, but the clock continues until you're done for the day. Same for day 2 and day 3. I walked 16 miles one day in about 5 hours. I was just "kickin' the tires" to see how day 1 might feel. I was quite sore for the rest of the day, but I felt much better the next morning and MIGHT have been able to do another 16 or so miles, but I still don't know if I could complete the "challenge" or not.

[DustinTheHuss]

Will that be done in one day?

I considered doing one that was created, I think, by Teddy Roosevelt (and then later brought back by JFK). You have three consecutive days to walk a total of 50 miles but it must be done over no more than 20 total hours. The clock starts when you start walking on day 1, and you can take rests as needed, but the clock continues until you're done for the day. Same for day 2 and day 3. I walked 16 miles one day in about 5 hours. I was just "kickin' the tires" to see how day 1 might feel. I was quite sore for the rest of the day, but I felt much better the next morning and MIGHT have been able to do another 16 or so miles, but I still don't know if I could complete the "challenge" or not.

LOL walk 50 miles in a month, just to get me back on the track of walking more. When I commuted to the office on the shuttle I did a lot of walking, but then with the pandemic we went to work from home and I really became sedentary. I literally lost 4,000 steps a day. But now we're going back to the office 3 days a week.

Yikes about what you described!

My legs are still really sore from a 15 mile bike ride on Saturday and leg day on Wednesday. Just walking 2.5 miles yesterday was painful.

[Samraiwise]

BTW lady, love your new avi.

Especially your arm.

You've just have mogged 95% of male miscers.

[DustinTheHuss]

BTW lady, love your new avi.

Especially your arm.

You've just have mogged 95% of male miscers.

LOL. Thanks!

I posted that on dating apps but then men said, "I don't know a woman having larger biceps than mine" so I took it down . But on here it's good to mog Miscers as many are whiny

[DustinTheHuss]

The last 2 weeks I've been training hard and since I had blood test results that show I'm pre-diabetic, I've lost that bloating from the extra carbs and changed my protein powder so that it has less sugar, not to mention not being natty.

I also completed a 50 mile walking challenge this month which raised money for a local animal rescue! I finished over 50 miles yesterday. It really was pushing me to walk regularly, so I hope this installed a habit now. It's going to be tougher as we return to the office 3 days a week as I was walking in the mornings, but luckily now it's light later.

Yesterday was:

- Incline Bench press 3x12
- Dumbell chest flies 3x10
- Chest machine 3x12
- Decline chest machine 3x12
- Skullcrushers 3x10
- Triceps machine 3x10
- Close grip bench press 3x10
- Throwing the squishy 10lb ball on the ground hard 3x10

[Payton1221]

I had blood test results that show I'm pre-diabetic

How is that determined: a higher A1c?

What's your diet like? How much processed foods do you eat?

[DustinTheHuss]

How is that determined: a higher A1c?

What's your diet like? How much processed foods do you eat?

Yeah a high A1C and high blood sugar.

Actually no. Mostly organic, unprocessed, but my diet was high in fruit and many times I binge ate my husband's chips late at night. Now my Dr. wants me to have just 1/2 cup of rice or 1 slice of bread per meal, pretty much around 20g of carbs, and eat 6x a day. I know better than to binge eat.

I changed my protein powder to low sugar and upped my protein substantially from like 80g a day to 120g a day.

[Payton1221]

Yeah a high A1C and high blood sugar.

Actually no. Mostly organic, unprocessed, but my diet was high in fruit and many times I binge ate my husband's chips late at night. Now my Dr. wants me to have just 1/2 cup of rice or 1 slice of bread per meal, pretty much around 20g of carbs, and eat 6x a day. I know better than to binge eat.

I changed my protein powder to low sugar and upped my protein substantially from like 80g a day to 120g a day.

My wife and I switched to Carbmaster hamburger buns just because the whole wheat buns that we had been buying were hit-and-miss on quality, and we both like them a lot. And I think they have 6 or 8g of protein.

Other than a small/medium bowl of cereal, I eat mostly whole foods unless I'm at a birthday party or something like that. I do eat a lot of fruit (primarily apples or a bowl of grapes/blueberries/walnuts/truvia mixture that I make), and I've been tempted to check my blood sugar after the grapes which I understand can really spike things.

[DustinTheHuss]

My wife and I switched to Carbmaster hamburger buns just because the whole wheat buns that we had been buying were hit-and-miss on quality, and we both like them a lot. And I think they have 6 or 8g of protein.

Other than a small/medium bowl of cereal, I eat mostly whole foods unless I'm at a birthday party or something like that. I do eat a lot of fruit (primarily apples or a bowl of grapes/blueberries/walnuts/truvia mixture that I make), and I've been tempted to check my blood sugar after the grapes which I understand can really spike things.

Sorry. I don't know why I missed this in my CP. That's good to know about the Carbmaster buns.

It's hard as almost everything has carbs in it. I was having these Daily Harvest oat bowls and smoothies but they have 40g of carbs per serving, so now I have to split them up into separate meals. If I have to return to the office this would be a nightmare, as I'm constantly juggling food around to get to the 6 meals per day with the protein/carb/fat split. I feel like I'm bodybuilding again.

I finished my 50 miles of walking on March 24 so I was proud of that and I continue to walk more. I walked almost 10,000 steps yesterday. The day before that I did back and bis, and the day before that I did legs and shoulders in a tough cardio circuit at one of those boot camp gyms.

So far I have 5 months of solid lifting 3-4x a week after the gyms reopened, and I like the results. Now I'm just adding in moar walking and swimming.