XXXXXXL to L

[axertis]

Hello BodyBuilding.com community. My name is Chris. I am 465 lbs., 5’10”, 45 years old, obese and out of breath

I had knee surgery for meniscus tears in June, but I’m having a hard time with recovery, due to my weight.

I just started taking blood pressure medicine, I’ve been putting that off for a while now. My legs and feet finally had swollen enough for me to find a doctor.

Stairs and chairs, socks and shoes, walking > 1/4 mile, doing anything with a mask on are just some example of things that have become pretty difficult obstacles for me.

The doctor scanned my lungs and analyzed my blood and told me that I’m still pretty healthy inside; if I lose weight, I just might make it! I was surprised and felt a little like Scrooge on Christmas morning.

My “why?” isn’t much different than the other bodybuilding and truly transformation videos you may have seen on YouTube. I actually have my own transformation video out there on the internet, more on that later. I hate the video. I am addicted to junk food, drive-through and my lazy-boy. My lazy-boy is crying out for mercy and is starting to collapse, too bad the parts are stuck in the Pacific. I have been getting my money’s worth out of that extended warranty.

Maybe it’s because my mom died, maybe its because of the circumstances of her death. The timing would suggest it. But I’m not really willing to go deeper than that here and now. That whole thing does weigh heavy on me. We all have sad stories though.

I have always struggled with my weight. Here’s my long term weight history:

(Apparently I can't post pictures until my post count is 50. I understand, but it makes for an less desirable place to log my journey. The picture is in my gallery.)

I’ve always been at least little overweight, and beneath the fat, I’d say I’m a light-heavyweight.

I fought weight gain the whole time I was in the military. I found a book with a popular balanced meal plan and workout method. I used it’s 90 day challenge to get back on track whenever things started to get out of control (235-250 lbs).

Several years after I got out of the military, and I was officially way out of control at 325lbs.

I stumbled upon an online community centered around a new program by the aforementioned author. So I gave it a shot, joined a group, took one of the challenges. I also found a great personal trainer.

I won.

(Again it won't let me share the picture here. There's a before/after in my progress photos. )

I don’t really enjoy showing that picture now. I can’t give enough credit to my personal trainer. I hope to share more about my experience with him if I continue to journal my new transformation journey here. I haven’t kept contact with him. I haven’t shared with him that I’ve gained so much.

325-215 in 10 months. I didn’t get as far as I would have liked. I had a bad shoulder separation playing flag football right after that after pic. That and getting back into a bad relationship was all the excuse I needed to fall off of the wagon. I didn’t give up right away, I fought to stay on for a while, and during that time I stayed on as a member and coach in that online community. A community that was quickly eroding and becoming toxic and cult-like. It turned out I didn’t enjoy being a “champion”. There is a lot about the whole thing I just choose to not talk about. Sometimes I think I just lack the vanity or narcissism to stay on the wagon, but I know better. I know that’s enough for some, not all. Be it greed, pride and envy or sloth and gluttony; I suppose both paths lead you to the same destination.

Afterwards, I got back up to 350 before hooking up with my trainer and getting back down to 260. For one reason or another I fell off.

Eventually I end up here: an easy 15 pounds down from the shocking 480 lbs. that I saw on the doctor’s scale, on my way back to 215 lbs. I know what to do. I know how to do it. I’m actually pretty good at it. I’ve helped others do it. I know it will be harder this time. I’ve already decided that I’m going to do it. My mindset has changed and now my body is just going to have to catch up, despite the obstacles.

I know the value of community. I’m craving it. Though, it doesn’t seem like this site has “groups” as I was hoping to find. I’m looking for more accountability. I hope to support and perhaps inspire others again. I hope to do this in a way that I don’t find myself here again. I’m thinking about reaching out to a few members that I found in the Bodyspace area using filters and sorting by activity. I’m not sure I’ll get the engagement I’m looking for here. I’m excited though, I’ll join or create what I’m looking for in one way or another. For now at least, I’m going to share here. Next step, getting my before picture in my rear-view before I lose much more weight. I’ve never cared much for cameras and mirrors, even at my best. But that should be my next post.

I’m going to be splitting my weight-loss goals into 13 week runs. Judging from my weight history, 3.5 days/lb. (2 lbs./week) is definitely achievable, so my first goal is:

475 to 449 by 2/7/2021

It’s probably too easy, but I want to start off with a win. Like I said, I’m already 10 easy (water) pounds down. Then I’ll give myself a week and start the next goal. Over time I’ll be able to dial in my goals so that they will challenge me more and push me harder.

Feel free to stop by my Bodyspace profile and say hi, follow or friend me anytime.