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  1. #1
    Registered User throwaway123321's Avatar
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    Relationship/insecurties advice needed badly

    I really am not sure where to begin, I think this post will be two parts, one about myself and my issues and another about my current situation. I need advice and help with both please.
    I have massive relationship issues and insecurites, and right now am going through a really tough break up from a wonderful person.
    I find that I either just don't care much about people and tend to have mostly casual relationships, but when I meet someone I really do like it's like I almost love them too much and end up smothering them. I cannot find a healthy balance. If I like someone I begin looking for problems, like actively seeking issues to I guess destroy the relationship. I will compare myself the their ex partners, I will ask them stupid questions about their past, I will be insecure and not trust them in regards to where they are, who they are talking to, and I will obsess over the smallest of things. I will create a problem out of almost anything. I have no idea why I do this, but I know I need to stop. It ruins every real relationship I have.
    I will want to talk to them all day, every day. And if they go quiet whilst messaging or are busy I will feel on edge and constantly check my phone for a reply. And only when I get a reply will I feel good again, it feels like I am on a constant emotional rollercoaster.
    I really want a loving and secure relationship where I am happy and I can make the other person feel happy, free, and loved. But I just don't know how to get there. My friends say I have made massive improvments on my issues compared to a few years ago and I feel like I have too, but the truth is they are still causing problems and ruining my life. I hate the way I feel inside. I feel so on edge and anxious all the time.

    Recently I met someone who was amazing, we had such an amazing time and I don't think I have ever felt so much love for someone, or felt so loved and supported back. It was amazing for a few months, but after a while my constant issues and insecurites and driven them away and I think just emotionally drained them to the point they are exhausted and have given up on the relationship.
    We are I feel at the ending stage of the relationship now, we have gone from talking every day to not talking for a few days. And the only real communication has been about swapping our stuff. We have been up and down for a few weeks and had agreed to really give it a go and try resolve our issues, we had planned to meet to talk but a few days before I questioned them on some silly matters about what they were doing and they got really upset at having to justify themselves to me (rightfully so) and decided to cancel meeting. Since then we have not really spoken other than to swap out stuff.
    I really don't want the relationship to end, but I know they cannot keep putting themselves through what I am doing. I know they really love me, and they have said previously they will support me and help me, but I think I am just too much for them and slowly I am destroying and draining them.
    I don't want to lose this person, but I really don't know what I can do right now. I know I need help but I don't know what help I need, or where to find it.
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  2. #2
    Da1UnV bodyhard's Avatar
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    You sound a like a bat sh!t crazy woman, no man is going to put up with that BullSH!t..
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  3. #3
    In Witness Protection mtpockets's Avatar
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    Why the hell would you register on a bodybuilding forum to seek relationship advice? Dear Abby or Dr Phil or even Jerry Springer would be a better choice than here.


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  4. #4
    Quarantined Finja Cass40's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bodyhard View Post
    You sound a like a bat sh!t crazy woman, no man is going to put up with that BullSH!t..
    What if the sex is really really really good?

    Asking for a friend..
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  5. #5
    Da1UnV bodyhard's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cass40 View Post
    What if the sex is really really really good?

    Asking for a friend..
    Hmmmm good point...Has to be freaking sexy as fck as well, then..
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  6. #6
    In Witness Protection mtpockets's Avatar
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  7. #7
    Registered User Masterchieffer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by throwaway123321 View Post
    I really am not sure where to begin, I think this post will be two parts, one about myself and my issues and another about my current situation. I need advice and help with both please.
    I have massive relationship issues and insecurites, and right now am going through a really tough break up from a wonderful person.
    I find that I either just don't care much about people and tend to have mostly casual relationships, but when I meet someone I really do like it's like I almost love them too much and end up smothering them. I cannot find a healthy balance. If I like someone I begin looking for problems, like actively seeking issues to I guess destroy the relationship. I will compare myself the their ex partners, I will ask them stupid questions about their past, I will be insecure and not trust them in regards to where they are, who they are talking to, and I will obsess over the smallest of things. I will create a problem out of almost anything. I have no idea why I do this, but I know I need to stop. It ruins every real relationship I have.
    I will want to talk to them all day, every day. And if they go quiet whilst messaging or are busy I will feel on edge and constantly check my phone for a reply. And only when I get a reply will I feel good again, it feels like I am on a constant emotional rollercoaster.
    I really want a loving and secure relationship where I am happy and I can make the other person feel happy, free, and loved. But I just don't know how to get there. My friends say I have made massive improvments on my issues compared to a few years ago and I feel like I have too, but the truth is they are still causing problems and ruining my life. I hate the way I feel inside. I feel so on edge and anxious all the time.

    Recently I met someone who was amazing, we had such an amazing time and I don't think I have ever felt so much love for someone, or felt so loved and supported back. It was amazing for a few months, but after a while my constant issues and insecurites and driven them away and I think just emotionally drained them to the point they are exhausted and have given up on the relationship.
    We are I feel at the ending stage of the relationship now, we have gone from talking every day to not talking for a few days. And the only real communication has been about swapping our stuff. We have been up and down for a few weeks and had agreed to really give it a go and try resolve our issues, we had planned to meet to talk but a few days before I questioned them on some silly matters about what they were doing and they got really upset at having to justify themselves to me (rightfully so) and decided to cancel meeting. Since then we have not really spoken other than to swap out stuff.
    I really don't want the relationship to end, but I know they cannot keep putting themselves through what I am doing. I know they really love me, and they have said previously they will support me and help me, but I think I am just too much for them and slowly I am destroying and draining them.
    I don't want to lose this person, but I really don't know what I can do right now. I know I need help but I don't know what help I need, or where to find it.
    Get a therapist. No one one taking a **** browsing the internet is going to unscrew your life for you
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  8. #8
    Registered User Drifterlonghair's Avatar
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  9. #9
    Train hard play harder Tommy W.'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cass40 View Post
    What if the sex is really really really good?

    Asking for a friend..
    Usually this. Sometimes the crazy ones are great fun but usually not relationship material.
    If you don't get what you want you didn't want it bad enough
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  10. #10
    Registered User KeepItMoving's Avatar
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