Married brahs...How did you know she was the one? (srs)

[TealCat]

And is she still the one? How did you meet her? The rest of the misc could really benefit from some real tea on this subject.

I noticed some reputable miscers say things like "if you didn't lock one down by age ____ , then the tour is over for you."

My Pops was 36 when he married my Mom who was 27. I thought, notbadnobrad Dad. When I see the photos of them as an unwed couple I'm mirin hard (n-n-no incest)

Here I am age 32 and never dated a girl who I was sure I'd be able to spend my life with, let alone make the mother of my child.

I just wonder where the marriage material women are at.

Wise married men of the Misc, plz halp us all.

Inb4 "what do you bring to the table *******?"

While I don't make bank working in non-profit:
-I have had career in sports
-am getting bizmgmt degree on scholarship
-have a car
-no debts
-am fit (see avi)

[TealCat]

bunch of slack jawed *******s around here

[Slaydom]

she is a beautiful blonde blue eyed dimepiece.

she has traditional values.

I took her virginity.

she pairbonded with me.

[Luc1fer]

in for wisdom; marriage material is difficult to find these days

[wesleysh21]

My wife is okay. But I'd rather talk about my side chick...she's a beautiful blonde blue eyed dimepiece with traditional values...

[soberchuck]

My wife is okay. But I'd rather talk about my side chick...she's a beautiful blonde blue eyed dimepiece with traditional values...

Until I took her virginity

[Rabbitjb]

I chose him

LOL at y’all pretending you choose

[PTzFree]

She's my best friend.
Not trying to be cheesy, ded srs.
There was no such thing as guys nights or nights with our friends when we dated - we all hung out together and she was just always part of the crew.
We share the same values and perspectives on how a relationship works... or rather how you work on a relationship.

17 years later and she's still the only one I want to have a beer with at the end of the day.

[Silencespeaks]

Ex husband was:

Very goodlooking

Very masculine

Very ambitious

Very fun to be around

Love bombing me

[Silencespeaks]

I chose him

LOL at y’all pretending you choose

Yay you’re back!!!!

How are you we missed you

[TealCat]

I chose him

LOL at y’all pretending you choose

Ex husband was:

Very goodlooking

Very masculine

Very ambitious

Very fun to be around

Love bombing me

Plz stahp. Plz go. Neither of you have any relevance to the subject matter here.

[RealLifeAlpha]

xx_TRAUMA__BOND_xx

[omnip0tent]

Been with my girl 9 years, and I truly don't believe in "The one" I believe there are good women out there who you decide to make a relationship work with, and its something you both need to actively WANT & WORK AT till the day you decide to split up.

If you can't do the above, then any relationship will break down at the first sign of hardship IMO. When in reality hardship should bring you both closer to work on problems together.

[yieldtonothing]

She was the best man

[TealCat]

she is a beautiful blonde blue eyed dimepiece.

she has traditional values.

I took her virginity.

she pairbonded with me.

Aren't you smashing girl from work that you drive home?

[Hicksbrah]

Been with my girl 9 years, and I truly don't believe in "The one" I believe there are good women out there who you decide to make a relationship work with, and its something you both need to actively WANT & WORK AT till the day you decide to split up.

If you can't do the above, then any relationship will break down at the first sign of hardship IMO. When in reality hardship should bring you both closer to work on problems together.

This is the correct answer. You have to screen so that she meets the minimum requirements about character. Then it's about making it work from both sides, people always have weak spots as you do as well, so you have to both want to look past the annoying chit and grow together.

[TealCat]

Been with my girl 9 years, and I truly don't believe in "The one" I believe there are good women out there who you decide to make a relationship work with, and its something you both need to actively WANT & WORK AT till the day you decide to split up.

If you can't do the above, then any relationship will break down at the first sign of hardship IMO. When in reality hardship should bring you both closer to work on problems together.

This is the correct answer. You have to screen so that she meets the minimum requirements about character. Then it's about making it work from both sides, people always have weak spots as you do as well, so you have to both want to look past the annoying chit and grow together.

So where did you meet such gals?

[Silencespeaks]

Plz stahp. Plz go. Neither of you have any relevance to the subject matter here.

You’re the one who can’t find a wife lmao

[Glutebrahhh]

If you believe in 'the one,' either you're looking to win the lottery, or you're gonna get black-pilled somewhere down the road.

Omnipotent ^^^ is right, imo. No one is perfect, no one is without their flaws. You won't find someone who does everything exactly the way you've always wanted, but you can grow together, and it might turn out that way. Its difficult enough finding someone who has similar beliefs, values, and goals. The better you line those up, the better off you'll be, but that isn't to say it'll always be a breeze. It always takes work and sacrifice.

[Hicksbrah]

So where did you meet such gals?

In my opinion for long term relationships it's best to put yourself into situations that will force you and her to interact, maybe some hobby group, or even work (some think that's a bad idea though). I wouldn't be against just trying to chat up a girl anywhere. One of the biggest improvements I saw with age is that I'm now able to quickly tell at least roughly what kind of person someone is. I will chat a girl up and if she seems a bit shy, reserved and gives intelligent and polite answers that's probably a good candidate to proceed further. You can probably correctly write off 90% of problematic women within a 5 minute or less interaction.

Then if things keep progressing you need to have a basic checklist. The most important part is her behavior, how she was raised and her character. Then look at her career situation and what she wants out of life (doesn't have to have ambition, just not lazy or high maintenance), then look at her family and her friends. It's kind of hard to get a perfect fit, but if you can deal with some negative non-essential points, then that's a good chance. And obviously she has to like you too.

[n1e]

Never got bored with her
Sex is still great
She also waited 10 years for me before I proposed and never pressured me into doing it.

[sword_]

Been with my girl 9 years, and I truly don't believe in "The one" I believe there are good women out there who you decide to make a relationship work with, and its something you both need to actively WANT & WORK AT till the day you decide to split up.

If you can't do the above, then any relationship will break down at the first sign of hardship IMO. When in reality hardship should bring you both closer to work on problems together.

My girlfriend asks me if I believe in soulmates or "the one". I tend to believe that there are different dynamics you deal with in terms of compatibility and you have to decide what works best for you and the relationship.

I saw my mother and stepfather work through stuff for 25 years together until he died. Job losses, moves, raising me, my sister being born premature. Stuff out of control of their marriage. Love was there but what ultimately made the relationship work was them working together in a concerted effort to make sure things were alright. They didn't always agree but they could work with one another and I think that's the most pragmatic approach because many people like you said will leave when there is adversity in the relationship and people are so fickle nowadays.

My girlfriend also had a good example of a great marriage in her parents who are about 40+ years together now. I'd hope to emulate that or my parents but I think I sometimes struggle with wanting everything perfect. That's my overthinking kicking in.

Never got bored with her
Sex is still great
She also waited 10 years for me before I proposed and never pressured me into doing it.

10 years? Were you high school sweethearts?

[TealCat]

Been with my girl 9 years, and I truly don't believe in "The one" I believe there are good women out there who you decide to make a relationship work with, and its something you both need to actively WANT & WORK AT till the day you decide to split up.

If you can't do the above, then any relationship will break down at the first sign of hardship IMO. When in reality hardship should bring you both closer to work on problems together.

If you believe in 'the one,' either you're looking to win the lottery, or you're gonna get black-pilled somewhere down the road.

Omnipotent ^^^ is right, imo. No one is perfect, no one is without their flaws. You won't find someone who does everything exactly the way you've always wanted, but you can grow together, and it might turn out that way. Its difficult enough finding someone who has similar beliefs, values, and goals. The better you line those up, the better off you'll be, but that isn't to say it'll always be a breeze. It always takes work and sacrifice.

great point boyos


...alas where did you even come across such women in this degenerate world?

[Rabbitjb]

Yay you’re back!!!!

How are you we missed you

I ain’t dead yet

Plz stahp. Plz go. Neither of you have any relevance to the subject matter here.

Says the sad miscer who is either friend-zoned or fuk-zoned

[TealCat]

You’re the one who can’t find a wife lmao

and yet I'm still better off as a man than you have been or will ever be.

Spoiler!

I still throw up a little in my mouf when I see that photo of you srs

[TonyTriangles]

been married for 13 years and have two sons together. i was in the military at the time and was visiting my parents. went to church with my family one sunday morning and was introduced to her. got to know her more and i was hooked; she was very conservative, traditional and family oriented. dated for five years, then wifed her up.

[omnip0tent]

So where did you meet such gals?

I was trying to get with her sister (even though my GF was the hotter of the two), but she was dating some dude during this time... So her sister wasn't really into me, but we were close enough that I was cool with (my GF) while she was dating that dude, and I kinda knew she liked me. She broke up with her BF after some time I was just there, single and ready to pickup the pieces. One of our first solo outings I took her to a strip club, had a great time, the rest is history.

[TealCat]

been married for 13 years and have two sons together. i was in the military at the time and was visiting my parents. went to church with my family one sunday morning and was introduced to her. got to know her more and i was hooked; she was very conservative, traditional and family oriented. dated for five years, then wifed her up.

sounds like a feel-good movie, happy for you TT

[Luc1fer]

My girlfriend asks me if I believe in soulmates or "the one". I tend to believe that there are different dynamics you deal with in terms of compatibility and you have to decide what works best for you and the relationship.

I saw my mother and stepfather work through stuff for 25 years together until he died. Job losses, moves, raising me, my sister being born premature. Stuff out of control of their marriage. Love was there but what ultimately made the relationship work was them working together in a concerted effort to make sure things were alright. They didn't always agree but they could work with one another and I think that's the most pragmatic approach because many people like you said will leave when there is adversity in the relationship and people are so fickle nowadays.

My girlfriend also had a good example of a great marriage in her parents who are about 40+ years together now. I'd hope to emulate that or my parents but I think I sometimes struggle with wanting everything perfect. That's my overthinking kicking in.

Great post. TBH I think we're all "infected" by the modern world to some degree, even if we recognize our parents or grandparents did marriage better.

The truth is they didn't have to deal with all the swiping, and temptations, the society of instant gratification, the almost endless options. It was simpler back then. You found someone decent, you married, you never even thought about divorce. You just worked through that chit.

"I think I sometimes struggle with wanting everything perfect." -- I don't think you should beat yourself up over that. You recognize that it's a flawed way of thinking, that will hinder fulfillment. That's the important thing.

[sword_]

great point boyos


...alas where did you even come across such women in this degenerate world?

You should really do events that align with your interests and find them there. Social circle helps. My now girlfriend actually approached me at this dance club TBH but it was just random. We clicked and the rest is history. Regarding values, beliefs and goals that's HUGE. GF and I share those a lot. Grew up in a Christian home, very family oriented but also exposed to different cultures, etc. I think where we sort of align differently is that I'm still in a careerist phase of my life and feel like I have something to prove whereas she grew up upper middle class and she is content working in education and helping others.