GF turns off snapchat location after a year. Is this sus or am I over analyzing?

[hardestgainer]

Cliffs at bottom- Apologies for the wall of text

Gf and I have been together almost a year, we've only ever had two real fights in our relationship prior to this. She's a Pre-Med Junior from a ultra Christian family, goes to a Christian private Uni and her dad is a Minister. She moved back into their house for summer break this past week because she lives in the dorms and they have no idea she basically spent the entire last semester living at my house, it was very rare she didnt spend the night with me. Bu now we wont spend the night together until August. The first few nights at her parents we didnt see each other, she was really busy with moving and work but it felt like she was slowly distancing herself from me, and I had never felt that from her before. A couple nights later she texts me goodnight at 10PM, and at 1130ish I open Snapchat while brushing my teeth and see just a few minutes ago she had opened the last chat message. I sent her a playful message about her being up too late bc she had to be up early. For the next hour I saw her keep popping on and offline but she never opens it or anything. I thought she was probably just chatting with her best friend who just had a birthday but lives in Hawaii, where its a lot earlier. We've always been able to see each others online status, so we can see when we are both online and where on the map we are. I go to bed without her ever opening the message. The next morning she laughs it off and said she only got up to go to the bathroom and was back asleep after a few min. I said thats weird bc it showed her activity status going back on and off for almost an hour and a half. She gets really upset with me, accuses me of not trusting her and calling me paranoid, I never even thought this would be an argument but i brought it up because it seemed a little suspicious. She said she woke up with her phone in her hand and almost dead, so she must have fallen asleep watching snap in bed (she does have her phone settings to not have the screen time out). But this doesnt explain why her online status turned on and off 6-8 times in the hour. She gets even more mad and said Im accusing her of infidelity and disrespecting her, even though I never directly accused her. We talk things over and its all cooled off and fine....then says she's turning off her location because I dont trust her enough and doesnt want this to be a problem again. That's even more suspicious, right? I put my foot down and say Im not cool with that, I dont like that she got questioned about it one time in almost a year and now she's throwing a tantrum and wants to disable it. She even challenged me on it saying "what will you do if I dont? are you going to throw away everything over snapchat?", she's never tried to challenge me before, she's very submissive. We've only exchanged a few cold text since, she's busy doing lab research full time on campus and we seem to be on the verge of ending things over this, she even which seems ridiculous but we talked for a few hours on the phone about it last night and got absolutely no where. It feels very surreal, just a few weeks ago she was openly talking to her mom about wanting to marry me, we've discussed marriage a few times recently and moving out of state together for her med school next year.


I have struggled with trust issues in past relationships due to sloots being sloots (even come from a small family that is generally untrusting of each other). In the beginning of this relationship I also struggled with the trust issues because there was some "unofficial overlap". She did that weak breakup with a guy without actually directly saying it move by just being ice cold in text to a guy she had been with for 3 months when he was out of town for a whole month. Long story short, she was at my place laying in bed with me a few weeks into us seeing each other and as she was showing me something on her phone, he texted her and called her a pet name. I confronted her bc she had told me she wasnt seeing or talking w other guys. She showed me the whole text convo and texted him again the next day saying to stop contacting her and that was the end of it. Only other issue was her deciding to abort an unplanned pregnancy we had despite me pleading with her not to, and her and her entire fam having ultra Christian views on it. This was the only time in the relationship I ever doubted us as a couple. Id say over the past 6 months this is the first relationship Ive had in a long time where I truly did trust someone and never questioned anything about her and overall this has been the healthiest LT relationship Ive ever had; and she has always 100% trusted me no matter what, even if other sloots have slid into my DMs, so its very disappointing that suddenly we are in this situation.

Be honest, is this a sloots gonna sloot/misc is always right situation or me still not fully trusting anyone and over analyzing?

Cliffs:
Year long relationship only 2 real issues prior to this
Initially there was trust issues bc she didnt officially end it with the last guy she was seeing until a few weeks after dating me
We had unplanned pregnancy very early on and she aborted it despite her father being a Christian Minister and me doing everything possibly to stop her
Last 6 months is healthiest relationship OP has had- a lot of mutual trust has been built, even when sloots slid in my DMs she never doubted me
Has talked to her parents about marrying me
We recently began talking about marriage and moving out of state for her to attend MD school
GF moves back in w fam for summer and feels a little distant
She goes to bed but a few hours later is on snapchat
on and offline a dozen times from 11pm-1am
I confront her, she says she went up to go to the bathroom and watched some snap tv in bed for a few minutes, and she fell asleep with her phone still on snap
I dont immediately believe her and pretty aggressive in accusing her
She says I am disrespecting her and indirectly accusing her of infidelity
We talk it out, everything is fine
She decides to turn off snapchat activity so I cannot see when she's online or where on the map, says its unhealthy for us and I dont fully trust her still and cries bout it
I say I am not comfortable w that and think it makes her look more suspicious, plus her Uni is in the ghetto, numerous times she reported intoxicated homeless people threatening students on campus
Put my foot down and say I wont accept her disabling those features suddenly bc I asked her about her online activity ONE time in a year
She says "what are you going to do, break up with me over not being able to see my location?"
We have barely spoken since


I know if my friends approached me with this, Id say it looks like a red flag but part of me honestly regrets ever even making this an issue

[Silencespeaks]

TLDR

Only read the title.

Yes this is suspect.

Ask her to change the settings to show only you her location. You can limit it to show location certain people only.

[latverian41]

Bro if you are in any real relationship and one or the other tries to keep things hidden fr you then I suggest you find a new relationship.

Relationships and strong marriages. A husband and wife do not keep things from one another like say two good friend's might.

A husband and wife ar suppose to be one. It's called a family. You should be able to tell your other half with anything.. there can be no doubts in marriage. If there are you are living a lie.

[GayCumLord]

She doesn't respect you (we've all been there)
Even from the start I'm sure you'll admit you ignored the red flag that she cheated on her old boyfriend with you.
This relationship is long gone and you're going to get really hurt as this progresses if you don't just cut her off now in my opinion.

IMO dating masculine career women is setting yourself up for unhappiness but you do you

[Nicklol]

my oneitis had it on until she found out i was on snapchat
feelsbadman
the disrespect
its cheat before you get cheated on unfortunately.

[hardestgainer]

Bro if you are in any real relationship and one or the other tries to keep things hidden fr you then I suggest you find a new relationship.

Relationships and strong marriages. A husband and wife do not keep things from one another like say two good friend's might.

A husband and wife ar suppose to be one. It's called a family. You should be able to tell your other half with anything.. there can be no doubts in marriage. If there are you are loving a lie.

Yes I agree, and told her something similar to this. her suddenly turning off those features makes it feel like she actually is hiding something. She says she's only doing it because she wants me to trust her without those features turned on. It feels like shes doing this to try to punish me for questioning her.

She doesn't respect you (we've all been there)
Even from the start I'm sure you'll admit you ignored the red flag that she cheated on her old boyfriend with you.
This relationship is long gone and you're going to get really hurt as this progresses if you don't just cut her off now in my opinion.

IMO dating masculine career women is setting yourself up for unhappiness but you do you

Thats the thing, she's always been very respectful towards me as a man and is very submissive with me despite being a career driven woman (I can tell she is generally not liked by either the male or female classmates though, she can be very serious and cold). She's never tried to wear the pants in the relationship until this

The only reason I gave her a second chance about the overlap is because when his text came through, she immediately said it wasnt what it looked like and showed me her entire text convo with him, even prior to meeting me and she had made it clear numerous times to him that she was not interested in seeing him again once he was back. She did let him keep pursuing though instead of going NC. I was fully prepared to tell her to kick rocks when I first saw the text from him, I had other females on the back burner I could have pursued instead.

[hardestgainer]

my oneitis had it on until she found out i was on snapchat
feelsbadman
the disrespect

Sloots get intimidated by the bubble butt brah

[backinthegymbro]

Without trust, there is no relationship. If you feel the need to check her snap activity 24/7, then i think it's time to call quits. (even if your reasons are justified)
Also her being distant, the snapchat stuff, her blaming you for accusing her (best defense is offense), it's all red flags.

[IowaMuscle]

Only other issue was her deciding to abort an unplanned pregnancy we had despite me pleading with her not to, and her and her entire fam having ultra Christian views on it.

Notsureifsrs...

[dontstopbelief]

Lol.

She's busy text later.jpg

[DallasCowboyz]

Without trust, there is no relationship. If you feel the need to check her snap activity 24/7, then i think it's time to call quits. (even if your reasons are justified)
Also her being distant, the snapchat stuff, her blaming you for accusing her (best defense is offense), it's all red flags.

this

what the **** is the point of having a girlfriend if you can't trust her

[azzspankr]

Snapchat?
You have a 14 year old girlfriend?

Also didn't read any of that

[azzspankr]

Cliffs are longer that the novel

Lol

[Silencespeaks]

Only other issue was her deciding to abort an unplanned pregnancy we had despite me pleading with her not to, and her and her entire fam having ultra Christian views on it.

Notsureifsrs...

What?

Is this srs??

If so op you need to end that relationship.

How can you even consider staying together after something like that??

And you’re worried about her Snapchat???

[thatsnarf]

Op you dumb. She aborted the baby because she didn't know if it belonged to you or the ex. She did you a favor.

[Paul Kreul]

Bro if you are in any real relationship and one or the other tries to keep things hidden fr you then I suggest you find a new relationship.

Relationships and strong marriages. A husband and wife do not keep things from one another like say two good friend's might.

A husband and wife ar suppose to be one. It's called a family. You should be able to tell your other half with anything.. there can be no doubts in marriage. If there are you are living a lie.

All this.
Well said

[skinnyfat88]

Not entirely sure if she's being shady (or was at the beginning), you're being controlling/untrusting, or both. But when your arguments are this intense over trust issues it's game over.
Maybe try couples therapy if you want but if you do make sure the therapist is young enough to understand snapchat locations and chit (srs).

You're young though so likely chalk this up to live, learn, and move on.

[Silencespeaks]

Brb abortion against my will is no big deal

Brb I’m worried about Snapchat location

[hardestgainer]

Op you dumb. She aborted the baby because she didn't know if it belonged to you or the ex. She did you a favor.

I would have assumed that if she hadnt shown me their text convo, he explicitly mentioned how they never had sex and then he was out of state when she tried ghosting him. I got her pregnant about 6 weeks into dating her

What?

Is this srs??

If so op you need to end that relationship.

How can you even consider staying together after something like that??

And you’re worried about her Snapchat???

It was barely two months into dating her she had her pregnancy test come back positive. No person in her entire family tree has ever been divorced, let alone had a child out of wedlock. If there had been anything I could have done to prevent it from happening, legally, I would have.

[hardestgainer]

Not entirely sure if she's being shady (or was at the beginning), you're being controlling/untrusting, or both. But when your arguments are this intense over trust issues it's game over.
Maybe try couples therapy if you want but if you do make sure the therapist is young enough to understand snapchat locations and chit (srs).

You're young though so likely chalk this up to live, learn, and move on.

I agree, I am untrusting. Its something Ive worked on a lot but idk if im someone who will just blindly trust a SO no matter what, the way she's done with me.

I tried understanding her reasoning of "you accused me and got angry bc of this app, so Ill just remove it and it wont be an issue again", I still view it as concerning though and think she's playing dumb acting like its weird for a boyfriend to even care. I fell like at least with the people I know, its standard procedure for you to share that with someone your exclusively dating and it generally happens without even needing to directly discuss it.

[hardestgainer]

Cliffs are longer that the novel

Lol

cliffs of cliffs:
gf on and offline for hour and a half after she said she went to bed
I ask about it, she says she woke up and watched snaptv till she fell asleep with it open
I said that doesnt make sense, it was popping on and offline every 5-10 min (I do not normally watch her snap activity, I had simply noticed bc I saw she had recently opened a message I sent her)
Things escalate and we both take shots at each other, I dont blindly trust what she says bc I cant do that
She removes ability to see activity/map
We argue again, and arent on good terms

Thats as short as I can make it bruh

[Ninshark]

I don't know, everyone else seems like they're getting butthurt over this, but this doesn't look sus to me. You're overthinking. She prob feel asleep with her phone on (and lock is turned off) and everytime she turns in her sleep, it activates her phone again due to the accelerometer, then it returns to a battery-saving mode until she turns again. She turned off her location in retaliation over your behavior, she was getting annoyed with your nagging. Even if she is on snapchat talking, she probably just wants some freedom for once. There's not enough evidence of any foul play yet so if anything, you're going to ruin this relationship because of your insecurity.

[TryingBB]

I stopped reading after a few paragraphs...

I don’t see anything to worry about.

You told her you saw her pop on and off Snapchat. Maybe she was talking to someone and made a small lie and got caught. To save face she kept lying and from her point of view, you ARE accusing her.

So she finds it a bit freaky that you and everyone can see her come on and off Snapchat. Why were you waiting on Snapchat trying to see if she pops on and off anyways? So since it’s freaky to her she wants to disable her setting. No big deal.

If you like her and she likes you stop thinking about it. If things are off, like she’s seeing someone else or interested in someone else why would she hang onto you?

I say fuk it and move on from this topic. Keep your guard up but don’t let her feel it. It is probably nothing. Women are fuking wierd sometimes and need to lie for no good reason. It don’t matter. Let her be...

[RagnarChadbrok]

She's cheating
You're suspicious because it's kinda obvious
She's gaslighting you

Don't be in a situation where you feel guilty while she cheats on you with no remorse. Start distancing yourself, caring even less than she does, and cheating more. 100% srs

Ignore the advice old guys are giving btw. They don't really understand snap game and the strats these hoes use on socials

[skinnyfat88]

I agree, I am untrusting. Its something Ive worked on a lot but idk if im someone who will just blindly trust a SO no matter what, the way she's done with me.

I tried understanding her reasoning of "you accused me and got angry bc of this app, so Ill just remove it and it wont be an issue again", I still view it as concerning though and think she's playing dumb acting like its weird for a boyfriend to even care. I fell like at least with the people I know, its standard procedure for you to share that with someone your exclusively dating and it generally happens without even needing to directly discuss it.

The thing is, if someone is gonna cheat/be shady you cannot stop them so just let them do w/e they want and if it doesn't align with how you think a trusting SO should act & you can't get on the same page just move on.

Social media complicates dating a lot in young couples.

[DBoyDaRealest]

She's cheating
You're suspicious because it's kinda obvious
She's gaslighting you

Don't be in a situation where you feel guilty while she cheats on you with no remorse. Start distancing yourself, caring even less than she does, and cheating more. 100% srs

Ignore the advice old guys are giving btw. They don't really understand snap game and the strats these hoes use on socials

This 100%

either dont fuk with the maps at all, or they have to be 100%.

It's not coincidence that the map came off when she wasn't responding.

She's cheating/monkey branching big time.

You needa drop a HAMMER and do something back. Short and sweet breakup text and full on NC. "Hey, I think I'm done with this. I'll give your stuff to __"

Yall dont live together you don't need an exit plan, just dip on this.

edit: yall are already distanced. Would just block and move on srs. Once you see her with a new dude after you drag this out, you'll regret not being colder.

[explosiveMidget]

Only other issue was her deciding to abort an unplanned pregnancy we had despite me pleading with her not to, and her and her entire fam having ultra Christian views on it.

Notsureifsrs...

Lol this, never trust a woman who is capable of murdering her own offspring.

[me12inch]

its over OP. search ur feelings, u know its true

[GayCumLord]

edit: yall are already distanced. Would just block and move on srs. Once you see her with a new dude after you drag this out, you'll regret not being colder.

+1 for just cutting her off/blocking and giving 0 explanation

[Hypernation]

You gotta do what you feel is best.
Trust your gut.




However..
It’s hilarious that you keep mentioning religion. That chit doesn’t matter AT ALL. Stop bringing it up. And stfu about what her father does. You’re not dating him.