Snapped at my gf, am I the @sshole?

[darkninja67]

Tell her you posted this topic on reddit and all the dudes are agreeing that she was being disrespectful. Can't believe you even let it get to where she talks to you like that in the first place. What a mess.

this and what the Arty brah said above.

Chick talks like that to me I'm outside smoking for a few hours. She can cook her own food.

[MuscleXtreme]

Right well that's what I'm doing isnt it. I stopped making her dinner on the spot didnt I.

We talked this morning and I told her shes not speaking to me with respect.

Shes going to change, or I'm gonna force a permanent change to the relationship aka severing it.

Shes on stage now as far as I'm concerned.

I talked to her dad in february about proposing, not I'm not sure if shes going to make it through the month.

Let me ask you. What are you doing to develop yourself right now?

Are you working out and getting bigger?
Are you dressing well?
Are you meeting up with friends without her?
Are you doing any type of extra-curricular things like classes, sports, networking, museum events, etc.?
Are you keeping the sexual vibe going in your relationship?

Please answer honestly and I can help.

[Condo41]

Let me ask you. What are you doing to develop yourself right now?

Are you working out and getting bigger?
Are you dressing well?
Are you meeting up with friends without her?
Are you doing any type of extra-curricular things like classes, sports, networking, museum events, etc.?
Are you keeping the sexual vibe going in your relationship?

Please answer honestly and I can help.

Bro 100% honesty I am a thousand leagues better today than last year. I'm down from 18%bf to 14%bf and in line for 8-10% in about 2 months or so.

I've been actively looksmaxxing hard tryna get her revved up because she is in PJs all day and I want her to reach up to me.

I do not meet up with friends without her. Tons of my friends moved away. I got 1 friend and hes kinda weird. I could give this attention.

No I dont do organized or funded extracurriculars at all. I'm considering picking up kite surfing though. It's big in an area nearby.

I drive the sexual vibe. If I dont do it, none exists. She doesnt initiate.

[MuscleXtreme]

Bro 100% honesty I am a thousand leagues better today than last year. I'm down from 18%bf to 14%bf and in line for 8-10% in about 2 months or so.

I've been actively looksmaxxing hard tryna get her revved up because she is in PJs all day and I want her to reach up to me.

I do not meet up with friends without her. Tons of my friends moved away. I got 1 friend and hes kinda weird. I could give this attention.

No I dont do organized or funded extracurriculars at all. I'm considering picking up kite surfing though. It's big in an area nearby.

I drive the sexual vibe. If I dont do it, none exists. She doesnt initiate.

Ok cool, you’re doing well then. With dropping the weight, and looking good, she’ll have noticed.

Start doing some extra-curricular (preferably co-ed), and enjoy your hobbies, and make friends through there. Then start meeting up with your new friends without her every so often.

She’ll start seeing you dressing well, looking better, and being more social. If this doesn’t trigger her to start treating you better and putting forth more effort, then you’ll at least have positioned yourself well for an exit strategy if you decide to go that route.

The other thing that I would recommend, is to start taking charge of things, even if they’re small (pick out the movie without asking, say “I’m going to do this at X” then do it. Also ask her to do things like “hey I’m swamped, can you take out the trash”.

I’d say set a goal of 3-4 months and see how it’s going for you, then reevaluate.

[onelifterguy]

if you stay with her your situation will only get worse.

leave her now.

that is my honest suggestion brah

[Condo41]

Ok cool, you’re doing well then. With dropping the weight, and looking good, she’ll have noticed.

Start doing some extra-curricular (preferably co-ed), and enjoy your hobbies, and make friends through there. Then start meeting up with your new friends without her every so often.

She’ll start seeing you dressing well, looking better, and being more social. If this doesn’t trigger her to start treating you better and putting forth more effort, then you’ll at least have positioned yourself well for an exit strategy if you decide to go that route.

The other thing that I would recommend, is to start taking charge of things, even if they’re small (pick out the movie without asking, say “I’m going to do this at X” then do it. Also ask her to do things like “hey I’m swamped, can you take out the trash”.

I’d say set a goal of 3-4 months and see how it’s going for you, then reevaluate.

Mother f*cking top tier advice dude.

I'll follow it to a T.

[mrjolly2323]

On the phone with Bill Gates right now. Pics still not loading.

[CTTK]

Looks like you got some good advice already.

To put it in another perspective, think about the kind of messages you'd be sending if this was just a friend.

They tell you to make dinner and you silently comply. They come over to hang out and eat, criticizes your cooking, gives you off-handed remarks. You give a passive aggressive reply and stop cooking, then take the blame for it all later.

Imagine how that person perceives you. Your GF is still a person despite how comfortable you are around her and will never like or respect you for giving in to avoid confrontation.

[MattyMiscer]

AN UPDATE IS ON PG2 POST #34

Basically she told me to cook this stir fry meal so it's ready when she gets back from practice

So I do.

But i separate her portion from mine before cooking so I can weigh the ounces since I'm cutting.

Anyway she gets home as im putting her portion into the pan to fry it up.

She sees im doing the meat first then the veges and goes "how come you arent doing it the way I told you to?"

I mention it's not how I do it and she dumped the veges in over the meat anyway.

Cool

So I stir it a bit and shes looking at the mail and her phone and i realize I'm being a little b*tch so i grab my bowl and sit down and say "I'm passing the stirring on to you"

And she goes "what"?

And I go "I'm passing the stirring on to you"

And she goes "oh so I have to cook my own dinner now?"


Ok pause for a second. To her credit, we do talk to eachother like this. We use a tongue in cheek snarkiness to eachother. We'll jab at eachother for being a "stupid idiot" when making a mediocre mistake or something like that. So these comments of hers coming off as harsh in text form, just keep in mind it's always been done in good faith and followed by a sideways glance and a nose puff.

Unpause. This time I did that thing where you twist one side of your mouth and furrow your eyebrows and shake your head and toss your hand up.

So she sees that and goes "what? I was joking"

"Didnt seem like a joke and you've been doing it a lot lately"

"This one time today?"

"And the telling me how to cook it, and yesterday when I made us dinner and you said "oh so I dont get a knife" because i forgot to get you a knife. And I'm sure you're gonna say that was a joke too but you didnt get up and get a knife. You sat there for a while and I got it."

So she starts stirring.

Finishes stirring.

Takes her bowl into the computer room where shes doing homework and says "thanks for dinner" while leaving the room.

So now I feel bad. And I'm pretty sure we're not going to talk the rest of the night to we both get into bed.

TLDR girlfriend made entitled comments to me making dinner and I got defensive so now shes mad.

[RagnarChadbrok]

You're actually a clown OP. Instead of dumping her, or at least solidly putting her in her place, you're going to marry her? You know what man? You're going to fall perfectly in to that sad husband archetype. Ridiculed, belittled, domineered, and unappreciated by his wife. No one will respect you, people will joke about who wears the pants in that marriage. And then when she's bored of you she's gonna cheat and take half your chit. And you deserve it, because you aren't listening. Where's your self respect man?

[Woody-5]

I fukking hate when I'm cooking and a woman comes up and says "I don't do it that way, instead do it blah blah blah"

I drop the spatula and nope right outta there to go play guitar, read, games, whatever. You want it do it your way, do it yourself.




I don't think you're in the wrong. You gotta set these boundaries with women, because they will forever push at them and if you let slide, it'll keep getting worse and worse.

[Condo41]

You're actually a clown OP. Instead of dumping her, or at least solidly putting her in her place, you're going to marry her? You know what man? You're going to fall perfectly in to that sad husband archetype. Ridiculed, belittled, domineered, and unappreciated by his wife. No one will respect you, people will joke about who wears the pants in that marriage. And then when she's bored of you she's gonna cheat and take half your chit. And you deserve it, because you aren't listening. Where's your self respect man?

Obviously my self respect is here. Right here, in front of you. My thread isnt "my gf did this, what should I do?" My thread is "my gf did this, I stood up for myself, was I too harsh?"

Keep it in perspective here

[pandaboy89]

Ur gf is getting mongoled and riding the **** outta me goood son. You dun goofed

[BeanGainClovis]

She is treating you like a bitch, like you are a servant. Your idea of "snapping" is meekly suggesting that she make her own meal. You're already making the meal, being expected to do so, and being criticized for it. You allow all of this to happen, where is your self-respect? Why would you let anyone treat you like this?

You want to marry that and spend the rest of your life like that? When my woman cooks, I am grateful for that chit, she puts love into it and enjoys doing it. It's not a task that I force her to do, she just does it and is appreciated for it. When I do things for her, she thanks me and shows her appreciation. That's mutual respect.

She is basically dominating you, you say it's your generosity but it is your balls. You can be a generous person and still have a spine. She's not treating you with respect, and you allow this to happen. This goes beyond relationships if you let people treat you like this. You gotta be a man, maybe she will respect you if you act like one. If she doesn't, you don't need to spend your life being chit on daily.

[tnel00]

there's a bigger underlying issue here. your girlfriend wanted to cook the veggies and chicken at the same time. this is completely wrong. you cook the chicken first because it takes longer to cook than the veggies. then once the chicken's done, remove the chicken and cook the veggies. For the last minute or two you'd then combine them with the sauce.

your girlfriend cooking veggies with the chicken in the stir fry is the biggest red flag here for me. shows she has no ****ing clue what she's doing in the kitchen.

tell her your gay indian bodybuilding friends think she needs to learn how to cook and to stop being a bitch

[Coal Man]

Obviously my self respect is here. Right here, in front of you. My thread isnt "my gf did this, what should I do?" My thread is "my gf did this, I stood up for myself, was I too harsh?"

Keep it in perspective here

Strong missing the point. The only time you stood up to your gf was when you imagined it happened.

Because in reality you never did and that's what Ragnar is trying to tell you.

[Coal Man]

there's a bigger underlying issue here. your girlfriend wanted to cook the veggies and chicken at the same time. this is completely wrong. you cook the chicken first because it takes longer to cook than the veggies. then once the chicken's done, remove the chicken and cook the veggies. For the last minute or two you'd then combine them with the sauce.

your girlfriend cooking veggies with the chicken in the stir fry is the biggest red flag here for me. shows she has no ****ing clue what she's doing in the kitchen.

tell her your gay indian bodybuilding friends think she needs to learn how to cook and to stop being a bitch

Also this.

[RagnarChadbrok]

Obviously my self respect is here. Right here, in front of you. My thread isnt "my gf did this, what should I do?" My thread is "my gf did this, I stood up for myself, was I too harsh?"

Keep it in perspective here

First, actions speak louder than words. She looks down on you and disrespects her, you're considering marrying her. Second, your words were beta. You backed down from everything you said (which sounded whiney and effeminate to begin with), and apologized to her when you didn't think you were in the wrong. And then, like a female, what you said didn't match what you meant and you got upset that she further disrespected you instead of taking accountability

I'm not being a dik just for the sake of it, but because you're clearly still rationalizing this all on some level, even though you're acknowledging her disrespect. You're not even engaging with the posts saying to break up with her

She is treating you like a bitch, like you are a servant. Your idea of "snapping" is meekly suggesting that she make her own meal. You're already making the meal, being expected to do so, and being criticized for it. You allow all of this to happen, where is your self-respect? Why would you let anyone treat you like this?

You want to marry that and spend the rest of your life like that? When my woman cooks, I am grateful for that chit, she puts love into it and enjoys doing it. It's not a task that I force her to do, she just does it and is appreciated for it. When I do things for her, she thanks me and shows her appreciation. That's mutual respect.

She is basically dominating you, you say it's your generosity but it is your balls. You can be a generous person and still have a spine. She's not treating you with respect, and you allow this to happen. This goes beyond relationships if you let people treat you like this. You gotta be a man, maybe she will respect you if you act like one. If she doesn't, you don't need to spend your life being chit on daily.

this

[jrmp]

there's a bigger underlying issue here. your girlfriend wanted to cook the veggies and chicken at the same time. this is completely wrong. you cook the chicken first because it takes longer to cook than the veggies. then once the chicken's done, remove the chicken and cook the veggies. For the last minute or two you'd then combine them with the sauce.

your girlfriend cooking veggies with the chicken in the stir fry is the biggest red flag here for me. shows she has no ****ing clue what she's doing in the kitchen.

tell her your gay indian bodybuilding friends think she needs to learn how to cook and to stop being a bitch

This. I think OP said meat, but doesn't matter, you don't cook it at the same time as GF suggested.

**** better change OP, don't want to be negative, but you guys should be having stupid fights like that. Hows the home situation now? Back to normal or still hostile?

[clangsta]

She has no respect for you as a man and you will never earn this back in this relationship. Move on and learn lessons for the next one. This relationship is over dude.

[Condo41]

there's a bigger underlying issue here. your girlfriend wanted to cook the veggies and chicken at the same time. this is completely wrong. you cook the chicken first because it takes longer to cook than the veggies. then once the chicken's done, remove the chicken and cook the veggies. For the last minute or two you'd then combine them with the sauce.

your girlfriend cooking veggies with the chicken in the stir fry is the biggest red flag here for me. shows she has no ****ing clue what she's doing in the kitchen.

tell her your gay indian bodybuilding friends think she needs to learn how to cook and to stop being a bitch

This.

Bro I explained this to her almost word for word. You know your sh*t.

That's 20% of the reason I stopped cooking. She wants to eat undercooked chicken and overcooked vegetables? She f*cking be my guest.

[Ken-O]

This.

Bro I explained this to her almost word for word. You know your sh*t.

That's 20% of the reason I stopped cooking. She wants to eat undercooked chicken and overcooked vegetables? She f*cking be my guest.

You dont explain it to her jesuschrist. She doesnt give a **** about your explanation my man.


Would she be a bitch to Chris Hemsworth if he cooked the **** separately? No she woudnt, she would be getting her pussy shaved on the shower and putting on her best lingerie under a sexy dress while he was cooking. She wouldnt give a gotdamn about how he cooked the chicken or vegetables.


The problem here is that she doesnt respect you and she thinks she can do better. My advice #1 would be to grow some backbone and my #2 would be to absolutely not marry this woman.

[drvillain]

AN UPDATE IS ON PG2 POST #34

Basically she told me to cook this stir fry meal so it's ready when she gets back from practice

So I do.

But i separate her portion from mine before cooking so I can weigh the ounces since I'm cutting.

Anyway she gets home as im putting her portion into the pan to fry it up.

She sees im doing the meat first then the veges and goes "how come you arent doing it the way I told you to?"

I mention it's not how I do it and she dumped the veges in over the meat anyway.

Cool

So I stir it a bit and shes looking at the mail and her phone and i realize I'm being a little b*tch so i grab my bowl and sit down and say "I'm passing the stirring on to you"

And she goes "what"?

And I go "I'm passing the stirring on to you"

And she goes "oh so I have to cook my own dinner now?"


Ok pause for a second. To her credit, we do talk to eachother like this. We use a tongue in cheek snarkiness to eachother. We'll jab at eachother for being a "stupid idiot" when making a mediocre mistake or something like that. So these comments of hers coming off as harsh in text form, just keep in mind it's always been done in good faith and followed by a sideways glance and a nose puff.

Unpause. This time I did that thing where you twist one side of your mouth and furrow your eyebrows and shake your head and toss your hand up.

So she sees that and goes "what? I was joking"

"Didnt seem like a joke and you've been doing it a lot lately"

"This one time today?"

"And the telling me how to cook it, and yesterday when I made us dinner and you said "oh so I dont get a knife" because i forgot to get you a knife. And I'm sure you're gonna say that was a joke too but you didnt get up and get a knife. You sat there for a while and I got it."

So she starts stirring.

Finishes stirring.

Takes her bowl into the computer room where shes doing homework and says "thanks for dinner" while leaving the room.

So now I feel bad. And I'm pretty sure we're not going to talk the rest of the night to we both get into bed.

TLDR girlfriend made entitled comments to me making dinner and I got defensive so now shes mad.

to her credit is right. This is all your fault. You have normalized disrespecting you. Well done OP... well done

[Polaris]

Read OP and post #34 update...phucking lol.

Grow some balls.

[dontstopbelief]

Was gonna troll you and say, when was the last time she sucked your c0ck?

Read the rest of the thread and now I dont think I need to ask and feel sorry for your beta ass, lots of big red flags here my man.

[onelifterguy]

OP please dont be a *******.

Leave this chick ASAP and get this over with. U are being a cuck by putting up with this chit. She is banging Deshawn on the side for sure if this is how she treats you.

[Nicklol]

lmao
why do ppl get so serious and about little sht

when im with a girl were just joking the whole time

[Condo41]

lmao
why do ppl get so serious and about little sht

when im with a girl were just joking the whole time

I'm cool with the joking and I hope it continues. I joke with her too in a similar way.

The difference is this....

If I joke with you and you get defensive, I'll laugh and jovially talk you down and understand that I purposefully pushed the boundaries specifically for that reaction, and now that you've given the reaction, I'll pull it back.

However, if you joke with me and I get defensive, and you in turn take my defensiveness seriously as if I should not have done it. That means you were not joking.

The latter is what happened between me and her.

She gave me the attitude. I gave it back. And she hated it. That isnt joking. That's vibe checking.

[Condo41]

Was gonna troll you and say, when was the last time she sucked your c0ck?

Read the rest of the thread and now I dont think I need to ask and feel sorry for your beta ass, lots of big red flags here my man.

This most recent sunday.

I also asked her about her dick sucking game last night.

She came out and said she has a really bad gag reflex and my self admitted teeny tiny penis is too big for her small mouth, so jamming it into the back of her throat isnt enjoyable for her

So I explained that she didnt have to do that. Theres other things she can do.

Well she didn't know what other things and said maybe I can tell her what to do.

So, I'll be telling her about the little tricks I learned during my dick sucking experiences. That is to say, getting mine sucked....mostly.....no homo... .....mostly.....jk......mostly...........jk

[Ephedra]

Would never, ever allow my girlfriend to speak to me like that or give orders. The fact that you allow it makes it almost impossible to climb out of the hole you've buried yourself in.

If my girlfriend called and ordered me to make dinner, my response would be..."WHAT? COME AGAIN?" My girlfriend knows this since it's been like that since day 1. She will NEVER give me orders and she respects me because I put boundaries down early.

Then she had to audacity to criticize your cooking technique? LOL. I would have straight up denied her access to the food and ate it all myself or thrown her half down the garbage disposal while she's looking.

You never set boundaries so the relationship is already done. Unless you want to continue being the beta in the relationship.