Should you lower your standards?

[LargeCondom]

I had a relationship with a women a few years ago. But over time I realised her morals and values were poor so I ended things. I believe I made the right choice.

Due to COVID, changing jobs, general ageing and my own poor mental health issues (e.g. anxiety and depression). I haven't dated a women for over a year. I have had a few casual hook ups off dating apps I downloaded on my phone and a few hook ups through going to bars but that's it.

Lately I've been thinking about my ex-girlfriend. I think it all started when I travelled south (southern cali) into an area where my ex-girlfriend and I used to go on dates. Many memories came flooding back.

I know I’m only idealising her because I have no women in my life at the moment. I know if hypothetically (it would never happen) we got back together, the same issues would arise again.

I understand that I should be focussing on my goals and improving my life, however I find myself feeling a tad lonely and depressed. Going to the gym, eating healthy, studying etc... then go go home and masturbate into a tissue?

I am thinking of lowering my standards (which aren't very high at all) and dating or hooking up wth women from dating apps who I am not attracted to or have red flags. Should I do this?

I actually felt I could function better when I did have women in my life.

[ManwittaPlan]

I had a relationship with a women a few years ago. But over time I realised her morals and values were poor so I ended things. I believe I made the right choice.

Due to COVID, changing jobs, general ageing and my own poor mental health issues (e.g. anxiety and depression). I haven't dated a women for over a year. I have had a few casual hook ups off dating apps I downloaded on my phone and a few hook ups through going to bars but that's it.

Lately I've been thinking about my ex-girlfriend. I think it all started when I travelled south (southern cali) into an area where my ex-girlfriend and I used to go on dates. Many memories came flooding back.

I know I’m only idealising her because I have no women in my life at the moment. I know if hypothetically (it would never happen) we got back together, the same issues would arise again.

I understand that I should be focussing on my goals and improving my life, however I find myself feeling a tad lonely and depressed. Going to the gym, eating healthy, studying etc... then go go home and masturbate into a tissue?

I am thinking of lowering my standards (which aren't very high at all) and dating or hooking up wth women from dating apps who I am not attracted to or have red flags. Should I do this?

I actually felt I could function better when I did have women in my life.

yes you should get laid...lower your standards. remember, you're not dating them just the sexy time.

psychologically as men we need that feeling of empowerment. you'll have a few good laughs on top of getting laid and it'll distract you. you'll get some hot hookups too, it's all a numbers game. the more you play the more your potential to win.

to quote wayne gretzky "you miss 100% percent of the shots you don't take"

it'll also build up your confidence, the more you get laid the more confident you'll get. you'll see women as prey which will be a hard personality to change once you start looking for commitment.

it's easy to say this but don't over think it, especially with anxiety or depression issues. you'll come around and do good if you commit yourself to one specific area and distracting yourself is a good way to start.

[LargeCondom]

yes you should get laid...lower your standards. remember, you're not dating them just the sexy time.

psychologically as men we need that feeling of empowerment. you'll have a few good laughs on top of getting laid and it'll distract you. you'll get some hot hookups too, it's all a numbers game. the more you play the more your potential to win.

to quote wayne gretzky "you miss 100% percent of the shots you don't take"

it'll also build up your confidence, the more you get laid the more confident you'll get. you'll see women as prey which will be a hard personality to change once you start looking for commitment.

it's easy to say this but don't over think it, especially with anxiety or depression issues. you'll come around and do good if you commit yourself to one specific area and distracting yourself is a good way to start.

Thanks for the feedback

My issues are though, if I sleep with ugly or fat girls I feel crap after.

[skinnyfat88]

it'll also build up your confidence, the more you get laid the more confident you'll get. you'll see women as prey which will be a hard personality to change once you start looking for commitment.

Dating/sex/etc is a skillset that needs to be learned and developed for many of us. I've lowered my standards when single for the sake of gaining experience and raising my confidence levels at times in my life and the negative repercussions were minimal-to-none.

I think it is important though to be able to communicate your intentions one way or another as to not lead anyone on though. This is even more important IMO if you're ~25+.

[Kev1972]

Standards for sex are different than standards for dating. I'll have sex with a younger thin attractive woman no matter what's going on in her life. Single mom, broke, divorced, etc. These women are for practice. They still make your dick hard. But those are all day disqualifiers for LTR. I just won't bang old or fat.

[EctoPlasmic217]

can be good for the reference experience

[Gosu14]

For sex - absolutely

For dating - maybe a little but don't overdo it

[EasternHammer]

If anything you should raise the standard-for yourself. If you can't get the woman you want then that means you are not yet on that level, and its time to improve yourself. Replace woman with the job, the house, the car, whatever same deal. This is a sign from the universe that you need to focus on self-improvement. Lowering your standards in any aspect of your life is a fast track to never making any progress.

[Kev1972]

If anything you should raise the standard-for yourself. If you can't get the woman you want then that means you are not yet on that level, and its time to improve yourself. Replace woman with the job, the house, the car, whatever same deal. This is a sign from the universe that you need to focus on self-improvement. Lowering your standards in any aspect of your life is a fast track to never making any progress.

If your goal is just sexual release what does it matter? I'm busy working all week and doing renovation work in my spare time plus enjoying my hobbies, motorcycling, jeeping, fishing, kayaking, camping. I don't have the time or desire to pursue a woman like it's a second career, so i just bust nuts in randos til I get bored of them or they get bored of me.