Would you ever stay with someone you caught cheating on you?

[northernlights7]

Personally, under no circumstances could I ever accept it and "forgive" a woman for cheating on me. My expectations of a relationship are simple - Don't be a stupid bitch, pull your weight in terms of income/house chores/etc., fuk me, and don't fuk other people. If she can't even keep the schlongs of other men out of her holes, then she can go fuk herself. 1 strike and she's out, for me.

[DigDeeper1]

Great thread OP looking forward to discussing this further with other miscers

[ChrisLS8]

I'd be logged out before she could finish the "explaination".

Just pay a friend to go get my chit, go NC, plot revenge

[littlemissy]

I have a low self esteem friend who said she would stay and work it out with her husband even if he cheated on her. She said marriage was final and she didn't believe in divorce.. She feels she married up (in terms of looks bc it's not income she makes more than he does) so she wouldn't be able to do better than him.

I literally just bert stared in disbelief. lmao

people. be. cray.

[DynamicDot]

The answer is no. The only way I can understand maybe is if you cheated first and thus you just have a swinger relationship/marriage.

[Silencespeaks]

I used to always think definitely not without question. And after my husband cheated I never wanted him back and never considered reconciliation.

HOWEVER now I’m alone long term and very lonely.

AND I’ve learned that most long term marriages probably do involve cheating and either ignoring it or working through it.

So maybe you should accept cheating to keep a long term marriage because that’s what everyone else is privately doing. Maybe it’s a normal part of a successful stable long term marriage? Idk

[Silencespeaks]

Another good reason is if you have kids. It’s always better for kids to have a nuclear family together. So maybe you should sacrifice your own happiness for that of your kids to keep your family together.

[HYDRAE]

no - trust is broken. no going back.

[drvillain]

I have a low self esteem friend who said she would stay and work it out with her husband even if he cheated on her. She said marriage was final and she didn't believe in divorce.. She feels she married up (in terms of looks bc it's not income she makes more than he does) so she wouldn't be able to do better than him.

I literally just bert stared in disbelief. lmao

people. be. cray.

You call her low self esteem, I call her smart.

edit: read it over again, and realized its because of his looks. Yeah, she sounds dumb.

A woman cheating has a ton more implications to the relationship than when a man does.


inb4 rage

[jn677]

no - trust is broken. no going back.

Yes there is no going back you're right but I think it depends on circumstances.

If you're 55 years old with kids and otherwise relationship is fine and you are good companions you can always transition to sexless companionship type marriage where you both get sex on the side.

But yeah there is no going back to how it is, and if you're young enough and especially without kids then you should jump ship for sure.

[sooby]

I would say it's tough from a financial/custody standpoint. Imagine if she was the one that cheated and she still got half of your chit, still having to make payments to her, and on top of that her getting majority custody of the the child. Getting a divorce and having the courts settle it could really phuck your life up.

Then again, staying married for the sake of your kids would probably phuck you up mentally as well.


But IMO it's unforgivable, and despite how "sorry" she may be whether it is genuine or not, the marriage to me would no longer ever be the same. It would probably phuck with my head mentally every time she goes out. Don't know how people can even live with that. Not sure I would be even able to put on a facade for the kids pretending that the marriage was all good. They deserve a functional family unit but at the same time they don't deserve a toxic household either. So if we have to go our separate ways just so they don't have to see that as much as possible, so be it.

edit: also not talking about relationships where both partners agree to phucking other men/women on the side, but just straight up doing it behind your back when swearing to be faithful

[HarryfromCali]

Never, because sloots gonna sloot... so if it's happened once there is a good chance it'll happen countless amount of times

[DrugsToGetBig]

not if you have an ounce of self-respect

[northernlights7]

Another good reason is if you have kids. It’s always better for kids to have a nuclear family together. So maybe you should sacrifice your own happiness for that of your kids to keep your family together.

I agree that divorce for petty reasons when you have kids is some serious bullchit. People should have their chit together enough to work it out and maintain the nuclear family aside from serious issues that simply can't be fixed/improved.

I put up with all sorts of bullchit from my ex-wife. Sporadic episodes of her being a total prude regarding sex, verbal/emotional abuse, she was lazy af regarding house chores/house work, maintained questionable hygiene once we got married, etc. She had a strong tendancy to name call and chit like that when she got angry - I have always firmly disbeliefed in that, and never once called any gf's of the past or her names during the relationship. Maybe a few times on the way out when we were both pissed, but that's it. Chit like that.

However, all that said - I always felt it was best to just deal with and try to make the most of chit like that for the sake of our kid/family, so long as kept it private at least. Towards the end, I know she was at least emotionally cheating on me (that much I verified), and to this day I highly suspect she physically cheated at some point. Had she let the marriage drag out another 3-6 months longer than she did, I would have left her with the type of chit she was pulling even without hard proof.

Just lmao @ the concept of tolerating catching them banging other people and deciding to tolerate it for any reason. I have a daughter with my ex-wife. I don't need to have my daughter grow up normalizing that sort of cuck behavior in men by seeing me bow down to such bs just so I'm not without a woman.

[GlassMoon]

Yes - I am a cuck and enjoy taking blatant disrespect like that

[ChrisLS8]

Yes - I am a cuck and enjoy taking blatant disrespect like that

See your sig Gordo




Srs

[Silencespeaks]

not if you have an ounce of self-respect

What is more important?

Your kids happiness or your self respect?

Keeping your money and assets or your self respect?

It’s more complicated than people think. It’s easy to say theoretically you won’t accept it. But once it actually happens and your kids happiness and your money are on the line, you might think differently.

[78novacaine]

Absolutely not. DGAF about the circumstances. There is no excuse for that chit. If I can keep my dink in my pants then she can keep her holes free of any but the aforementioned dink. Period. End of story.

[Silencespeaks]

I have a low self esteem friend who said she would stay and work it out with her husband even if he cheated on her. She said marriage was final and she didn't believe in divorce.. She feels she married up (in terms of looks bc it's not income she makes more than he does) so she wouldn't be able to do better than him.

I literally just bert stared in disbelief. lmao

people. be. cray.

Well she is pragmatic. She knows she can’t do better. So she prefers an imperfect marriage over staying alone or marrying an unattractive guy. It’s a pragmatic decision.

Same with people who stay for money or kids. It’s a pragmatic decision. That is much more common than people think because it’s kept private. But it’s VERY common in long term stable marriages.

[Silencespeaks]

Absolutely not. DGAF about the circumstances. There is no excuse for that chit. If I can keep my dink in my pants then she can keep her holes free of any but the aforementioned dink. Period. End of story.

At the cost of your money?

At the cost of your kids’ stability and happiness?

Arguably it’s a very selfish decision to wreck your kids stability and childhood happiness by getting a divorce.

[littlemissy]

You call her low self esteem, I call her smart.

edit: read it over again, and realized its because of his looks. Yeah, she sounds dumb.

A woman cheating has a ton more implications to the relationship than when a man does.


inb4 rage

Okay so let's say she was staying with him because of his income that would be smart and acceptable then to let her husband cheat? To each their own. Everyone has different thresholds. Hell my friend isn't even staying with him bc of money it's bc of his looks LMAO.

I don't think one sex cheating over the other has heavier implications.

[78novacaine]

At the cost of your money?

At the cost of your kids’ stability and happiness?

Arguably it’s a very selfish decision to wreck your kids stability and childhood happiness by getting a divorce.

STFU and go back to the hole you crawled out of you dumb kent.

[ChrisLS8]

At the cost of your money?

At the cost of your kids’ stability and happiness?

Arguably it’s a very selfish decision to wreck your kids stability and childhood happiness by getting a divorce.

You don't even have kids you dumb bitch. As a kid of divorced parents their divorce was literally the best thing they could have done for my brother and myself. Just lmao if you don't think that unhappy parents staying together won't fuk the kids up somehow

Jesus ****ing christ you are coping so hard from being lonely.

[DolphinPilot]

What is more important?

Your kids happiness or your self respect?

Keeping your money and assets or your self respect?

It’s more complicated than people think. It’s easy to say theoretically you won’t accept it. But once it actually happens and your kids happiness and your money are on the line, you might think differently.

At the cost of your money?

At the cost of your kids’ stability and happiness?

Arguably it’s a very selfish decision to wreck your kids stability and childhood happiness by getting a divorce.

If I was married and my wife cheated, I didn't wreck the family and create instability; she did. Not to mention if the spouse cheats and you stay in the relationship for the sake of the kids, the spouse is just going to continue cheating because they know it's OK.

Luckily my parents never divorced, but I would imagine if one of my parents cheated on the other I would rather they get a divorce than have the better parent stay in the marriage for the sake of me. A lot of kids whose parents go through a divorce say they are unhappy their parents are separated, but know it's for the best if the parents are constantly arguing and there is lingering tension at all times.

[IronFeta]

No/thread

thread\In on SlootlenceSloots thread

[Silencespeaks]

If I was married and my wife cheated, I didn't wreck the family and create instability; she did. Not to mention if the spouse cheats and you stay in the relationship for the sake of the kids, the spouse is just going to continue cheating because they know it's OK.

Luckily my parents never divorced, but I would imagine if one of my parents cheated on the other I would rather they get a divorce than have the better parent stay in the marriage for the sake of me. A lot of kids whose parents go through a divorce say they are unhappy their parents are separated, but know it's for the best if the parents are constantly arguing and there is lingering tension at all times.

See you don’t know if your parents cheated. It’s very possible there was cheating but the other spouse didn’t know or accepted it for your sake to keep the family unit intact. It’s very common but it’s kept private.

[northernlights7]

At the cost of your money?

At the cost of your kids’ stability and happiness?

Arguably it’s a very selfish decision to wreck your kids stability and childhood happiness by getting a divorce.

As opposed to what? Being miserable because you decided to willingly tolerate and accept your wife taking random schlongs/your husband sticking his dink in random holes just so you could feel like you were somehow giving your kid(s) a better life by allowing it?

Like I said. There is a ton of chit I put up with to try to save my marriage for the sake of my kid. To the point of highly questioning her cheating on me, but not having proof, so I kept trying to maintain the family.

But to have my kid grow up knowing that I knowling let her mother cheat on me and just rolled with it? Zero chance. I am 100% confident that my daughter is better off growing up with a biological father who got left by her mother (but demanded and got 50% custody) but actually drew some lines and had some basic standards than growing up thinking of her father as a sad cuck who tolerated the worst forms of disrespect from his "wife".

[Silencespeaks]

As opposed to what? Being miserable because you decided to willingly tolerate and accept your wife taking random schlongs/your husband sticking his dink in random holes just so you could feel like you were somehow giving your kid(s) a better life by allowing it?

Like I said. There is a ton of chit I put up with to try to save my marriage for the sake of my kid. To the point of highly questioning her cheating on me, but not having proof, so I kept trying to maintain the family.

But to have my kid grow up knowing that I knowling let her mother cheat on me and just rolled with it? Zero chance. I am 100% confident that my daughter is better off growing up with a biological father who got left by her mother (but demanded and got 50% custody) but actually drew some lines and had some basic standards than growing up thinking of her father as a sad cuck who tolerated the worst forms of disrespect from his "wife".

Well obv it should be kept private and the kids should never know. If you stay silent and accept it or “work through it” and don’t fight then the kids will never know.

It’s literally putting the kids happiness before your own. The kids happy stable childhood before your own self respect.

Idk what the right decision is. It ultimately comes down to choosing your happiness vs your kids happiness.

[northernlights7]

Well obv it should be kept private and the kids should never know. If you stay silent and accept it or “work through it” and don’t fight then the kids will never know.

It’s literally putting the kids happiness before your own. The kids happy stable childhood before your own self respect.

Idk what the right decision is. It ultimately comes down to choosing your happiness vs your kids happiness.

I can tell you don't have kids. Even if a parent successfully hides concrete evidence of them cheating on the other partner, kids pick up on that chit. Just like someone can get a gut feeling that something is off with a cheating partner despite the cheater hiding it well, kids have a spidey sense that goes off when chit isn't quite right. And they will come to realize the truth as they get older/grow up, even if no one openly points out/acknowledges the truth. Hence why it's healtheir for them to grow up with split parents than grow up knowing one chose to lay down and rot while the other went on sex sprees outside of the marriage.

[skinnyfat88]

It’s literally putting the kids happiness before your own. The kids happy stable childhood before your own self respect.

Idk what the right decision is. It ultimately comes down to choosing your happiness vs your kids happiness.

In many cases, 2 separate, happy homes is a form of stability children would not receive should their parents stay together when they aren't happy in a relationship.

I have no doubt emotionally intelligent people who are on the same page still go through hardships in their relationships and whether or not to work it out is a tough decision but if your core values are THAT different, and you feel emotionally abused, your partner is manipulative, and they do not care whatsoever about your happiness then I imagine your children will pick up on the fact their parents have major relationship issues even if they do their best at "hiding it" and you may be teaching them unhealthy things about relationships should you keep sticking it out for the sake of a nuclear home.