He stopped talking to me. Got back w/ his ex. They broke up & now he’s backs.

[jebrooks1988]

So this guy (30/m) I’m (22/f) seeing just broke up with his ex recently. He wanted to marry her but it didn’t work out. He met me, we hooked up, and spent a week together when I flew out to see him. 2 days later he sends me a text saying he’s working things out with his ex, that we’re just friends, and to take this picture I had added on social media down (from the week we spent together), then he unfollowed me and I saw that he added his ex back. Fast forward 2 weeks later he added me back on social media and saw that he and the ex unfollowed each other. He told me that broke up again the night before. Anyways, I flew back out to see him 3 weeks after they broke up again.

The first time I was here (last month) as I said he called me his friend and told me he didn’t want him getting in the way of me meeting other guys. Now that I’m back out here his friends wanted to go out so I went with him which I took as a good sign that he wanted me to meet his friends. So now I’m convinced he only said those things (saying we were just friends and not to get in the way of meeting other men) because he felt forced to by the ex and didn’t really mean it.

A man won’t spend days with you (I’m out here for a week) and have you meet his friends if he only wants sex, right? So does it seem like he’s developed feelings for me.

EDIT: He didn’t cheat. They we’re definitely broken up. They were broken up for 5 months. Went full NC for 2 months. We met through a mutual party and he’s really good friends with our mutual friend. I was told he was crying over her, he making posts about her, 2 before I flew out there he even made a post with her initials saying he missed her, even contacted her mom. So yea, definitely broken up

EDIT 2: Here’s a little more back story.

We met through a mutual party and he’s really good friends with our mutual friend so the friend gave me the inside scoop.

They were broken up for 5 months. Went full NC for 2 months. I met him months prior, no hanging out yet. He unfollowed me on IG when when they started talking again but not together. He was supposed to go be with her and her family for the holidays and then that’s when they went full NC for 2 months. He added me back and then eventually made plans to see him vday weekend.

During the 2 months they went NC I was told he was crying over her, he making posts about her, 2 before I flew out there he even made a post with her initials saying he missed her, even contacted her mom. So apparently he kept trying but she kept ignoring him. Then on vday, when I was here, he contacted her to say happy vday. I left a few days later and that same day that I left he asked her to go to dinner. This is when he texted me saying he was working things out with her, they had gone to dinner, and that we were just friends, and was upfront with her about me. He had talked about she was going to be his wife and the mother of his children. Apparently she kicked him to the curb a few weeks later. The very next day he added me back on social media and 3 weeks later now I’m here.

So yea, all of this was told and shown to me (screenshots) by our mutual friend.

[DustinTheHuss]

Oh my gosh I lived your story with a guy I flew out to see him (and enjoy the warm beach weather). He had just broken up with his ex whom he lived with and messaged me nonstop. I had miles so I went to meet him. Even the waitress said we looked so happy together and that we should return there for our wedding.

Well he returned to his ex, went NC and they ended up having a baby together and broke up. Now he's messaging me and said he made a mistake, other than the fact that he now has his daughter. He's still across the country but moved north away from the beach and is seeing someone else, so the chances of us getting back together are nill.

It just sounds like he's someone to put aside. You're young, have fun with young guys! 30 is too old

[AdikinBawls]

What satisfaction do you get from posting these bullspit stories on here and having people respond to them? Seriously, I want to know. What mental illness do you have?

[jebrooks1988]

What satisfaction do you get from posting these bullspit stories on here and having people respond to them? Seriously, I want to know. What mental illness do you have?

It’s not BS. If you don’t want to respond the stay off the post. Simple.

[snailsrus]

Haha this is fake

But if it wasn’t, yes a man will spend a week with you just for sex and probably will tell his m8’s you’re some side piece.

I bet if you messaged his ex there would be a different story

[Ninshark]

he's not really interested in pursuing a relationship with you, fwb sure. Yeah guys would spend a week with someone just for sex, they're very simple, and they also dgaf about a lot of things such as who they spend their time with. just think about normal male messy room or cramming roommates. they can put up with a lot because they don't care about those things, but emotionally they are suckers and he is woefully in love with his ex. He is hitting you back as an escape, not a long-term solution. If you don't have high hopes, that's totally fine to keep talking to him. If you do, well, just be prepared then. He sounds like a truthful person, he told you immediately and gave you the dealio, and he sincerely tried to work it out with his ex, which failed. He's lonely and desperate and reached out to you, not because of attraction though.

[AdikinBawls]

It’s not BS. If you don’t want to respond the stay off the post. Simple.

You're one of those accounts that's been making bs posts like this for years lol, but that mental illness question really got under your skin, didn't it? Seriously though, what gratification do you get from doing this?

[jebrooks1988]

Haha this is fake

But if it wasn’t, yes a man will spend a week with you just for sex and probably will tell his m8’s you’re some side piece.

I bet if you messaged his ex there would be a different story

After I met his friends (the first time I was here and when they briefly got back together) I do know his friend said, “don’t screw it up with the *ex’s name*, she’s the best you’re ever going to get”. That’s what our mutual friend told me.

[DustinTheHuss]

After I met his friends (the first time I was here and when they briefly got back together) I do know his friend said, “don’t screw it up with the *ex’s name*, she’s the best you’re ever going to get”. That’s what our mutual friend told me.

It sounds like it's time to move on.

[jebrooks1988]

It sounds like it's time to move on.

Why do you say that?

[CheeseFreak]

You're wasting your time and simping for a guy who is using you to f*ck around with like his rebound booty call. He is still in love with his ex and wants her back but she keeps dumping him. Don't let him use and degrade you like that. Show him you have too much dignity to put up with his bullsh*t or he will keep playing you like this because he thinks you're always gonna be there on standby to use because you're his b*tch/simp. Show him that he ain't sh*t and that you value yourself. Block him and refuse to let him see you if he comes around. Don't travel to him or stalk his social media or you will struggle to get over him and/or crack and go back. He is not worth it. He is a 30 year old man who wants to settle down with his ex and you are a young girl on the side for him until he can marry his ex. Turn around and leave. Never turn back.

[skinnyfat88]

A man won’t spend days with you (I’m out here for a week) and have you meet his friends if he only wants sex, right? So does it seem like he’s developed feelings for me.

Incorrect. People are absolutely capable of spending time with you and having you meet their friends even if you're only casual. I'd say this is even more common when you don't live in the same city and you can just have your week/weekend flings and then when you leave he gets his freedom again.

The fact that you were (are) a side piece while he is still in love with his ex means it's unlikely you'll graduate to be the new love of his life.

The best shot you have of legit dating him is to state you have had fun with him but are looking for something a little more serious and question him on his thoughts about that, especially being he's only a few weeks removed from his breakup.
You likely need to give him time and space to get over that before trying to date him. Maintain you're only interested in things progressing if he is over his ex and views you as LTR potential. Assuming he can't commit to this now, go NC and know he is very aware of your interest in him and do not reach back out to him. If he's interested in something more serious with you, he will reach out.

[dannmann1992]

Incorrect. People are absolutely capable of spending time with you and having you meet their friends even if you're only casual. I'd say this is even more common when you don't live in the same city and you can just have your week/weekend flings and then when you leave he gets his freedom again.

The fact that you were (are) a side piece while he is still in love with his ex means it's unlikely you'll graduate to be the new love of his life.

The best shot you have of legit dating him is to state you have had fun with him but are looking for something a little more serious and question him on his thoughts about that, especially being he's only a few weeks removed from his breakup.
You likely need to give him time and space to get over that before trying to date him. Maintain you're only interested in things progressing if he is over his ex and views you as LTR potential. Assuming he can't commit to this now, go NC and know he is very aware of your interest in him and do not reach back out to him. If he's interested in something more serious with you, he will reach out.

He won’t. She’s already presented herself as low-value who he can do whatever he wants and doesn’t respect.

He probably really respects his ex and that’s probably a reason why he wants her and not OP.

[jebrooks1988]

You're wasting your time and simping for a guy who is using you to f*ck around with like his rebound booty call. He is still in love with his ex and wants her back but she keeps dumping him. Don't let him use and degrade you like that. Show him you have too much dignity to put up with his bullsh*t or he will keep playing you like this because he thinks you're always gonna be there on standby to use because you're his b*tch/simp. Show him that he ain't sh*t and that you value yourself. Block him and refuse to let him see you if he comes around. Don't travel to him or stalk his social media or you will struggle to get over him and/or crack and go back. He is not worth it. He is a 30 year old man who wants to settle down with his ex and you are a young girl on the side for him until he can marry his ex. Turn around and leave. Never turn back.

You’re saying he wants her back but he’s the one who said he was unsure if he wanted to be with her. So why would he want her back if he’s unsure?

[skinnyfat88]

You’re saying he wants her back but he’s the one who said he was unsure if he wanted to be with her. So why would he want her back if he’s unsure?

He's either lying and she's the one who won't commit to him or he doesn't wanna commit to her because he wants to have some fun with other women even though he clearly has an emotional attachment to her.

Listen OP, if this is a case where he is legit ready and wants to jump into a relationship with you after things just ended with a woman he had a lot of feelings for, he will make his intentions clear and put the effort in accordingly.
95% chance though this won't work out due to either timing at the moment and/or he does not want a legit relationship with you.

If you want to date in a way where you're trying to build towards a relationship, say so and tell him you're concerned about the timing of this due to him just getting out of another relationship and ask if you think he needs time & space to get over that before dating again and see what he says.
He might not actually realize that he needs said time and space and is just riding the high of seeing someone new and things will not work out due to that in a few months or w/e because he's not in the right headspace yet.

For the record I'm speaking from a recent experience. Jumped right from ex who I still have an emotional attachment to (& think we may still have a future together) to a new girl who checks all the boxes as relationship material for me but couldn't move forward with past a few months with her due to timing.

[squat_blaster]

How long did you wait before you let him pork you? If he wants to spend time with you and he's serious, then keep your legs closed. If he really likes you, then it won't bother him. If you keep letting him pound you, then that's all the relationship will ever be.

[jebrooks1988]

How long did you wait before you let him pork you? If he wants to spend time with you and he's serious, then keep your legs closed. If he really likes you, then it won't bother him. If you keep letting him pound you, then that's all the relationship will ever be.

The first time we hung out when I flew out to see him.

[jebrooks1988]

He's either lying and she's the one who won't commit to him or he doesn't wanna commit to her because he wants to have some fun with other women even though he clearly has an emotional attachment to her.

Listen OP, if this is a case where he is legit ready and wants to jump into a relationship with you after things just ended with a woman he had a lot of feelings for, he will make his intentions clear and put the effort in accordingly.
95% chance though this won't work out due to either timing at the moment and/or he does not want a legit relationship with you.

If you want to date in a way where you're trying to build towards a relationship, say so and tell him you're concerned about the timing of this due to him just getting out of another relationship and ask if you think he needs time & space to get over that before dating again and see what he says.
He might not actually realize that he needs said time and space and is just riding the high of seeing someone new and things will not work out due to that in a few months or w/e because he's not in the right headspace yet.

For the record I'm speaking from a recent experience. Jumped right from ex who I still have an emotional attachment to (& think we may still have a future together) to a new girl who checks all the boxes as relationship material for me but couldn't move forward with past a few months with her due to timing.

Did you have romantic feelings for this other girl?

[DigDeeper1]

[jebrooks1988]

Are you saying him having feelings for me is wishful thinking?

[skinnyfat88]

Did you have romantic feelings for this other girl?

Kind of?

They just couldn't develop past a certain point because I wasn't over my last relationship but under different circumstances I could see myself dating her.

Physical attraction was there and she def checked the boxes as far as being datable.

[jebrooks1988]

Kind of?

They just couldn't develop past a certain point because I wasn't over my last relationship but under different circumstances I could see myself dating her.

Physical attraction was there and she def checked the boxes as far as being datable.

Just wondering since I’m 22 and he’s almost 31, wants marriage and kids, plus I live a plane ride away

[RyanJLuu]

You need to value yourself. He's obviously trying to figure out himself and depressed over losing his ex. You're just a replacement or someone to kill time.

If the subject keeps coming up about his ex, you'll always be in a love triangle. I had to drop some girl last year because every time we got close into a relationship, her ex always came up. She even tried to get me to come over for intimacy but I knew she just wanted me to get over her ex. I didn't go because it would have f me up for her to unintentionally string me along like that. I say unintentionally because sometimes you do things without thinking it through. I wanted to be that friend for her but I had feelings for her. That's the reason why I had to let her go.

Don't let that happen to you. Do better.

[JustMoved24]

You flew to him like a desperate little whore. That’s all he will ever look at you as until something better comes along. I don’t mean to guy punch you but I’m honest.

Truth hurts. Now PM me a pic and I’ll rate you/10

[jebrooks1988]

You flew to him like a desperate little whore. That’s all he will ever look at you as until something better comes along. I don’t mean to guy punch you but I’m honest.

Truth hurts. Now PM me a pic and I’ll rate you/10

I appreciate the honesty though.

He has a house and I live with my family, doesn’t that make a difference?

[JustMoved24]

I appreciate the honesty though.

He has a house and I live with my family, doesn’t that make a difference?

My first serious response was free. 2nd one comes at a price. It’s not like I’m asking you to fly to me. My inbox is ready

[skinnyfat88]

He has a house and I live with my family, doesn’t that make a difference?

Travelling and spending consecutive days together doesn't mean a whole lot. As I said before, if anything the distance can be an easy excuse to keep things casual and not feel the pressure of escalating into more than just a fling.

[pondus_levo]

Guys will absolutely take you out with his friends even if he just wants sex.

[jebrooks1988]

Guys will absolutely take you out with his friends even if he just wants sex.

But spending an entire week with her? Don’t you have to have feelings for the girl to gave her stay with you for a week?

[vanballmoos]

I’m convinced you’re not that hot or you’re no where near as hot as the ex and you’re intimidated. I say this because this man is treating you like crap and you’re allowing it, and he’s not even your boyfriend.

So what do you and the ex look like?