Mutual breakup, sh!t hasn’t been working out for awhile now. Only thing that has been keeping us together is our lease and our puppy we got a year ago. She’s keeping the dog, because she works from home now and has been for a year, so he’s used to her a majority of the day. Makes me sick to my stomach thinking about not being able to see my buddy everyday. She said I can see him whenever I want to, but I feel like that will just make it worse for me, and confuse him.
Anyone been through this?
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Thread: Ex-GF Keeping Dog
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03-17-2021, 09:47 PM #1
Ex-GF Keeping Dog
"Stop sitting back saying yeah man, I wanna be this, I wanna be that, grab your phucking nuts and be it" -Greg Plitt
Can't edit avi, mod tried to help but he couldn't figure it out either
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03-17-2021, 10:26 PM #2
Similar situation years ago. I broke up with her, only because she wasn't a good fit for me. she pretty much dropped all of her friends and made me her life so when i left she had no support. At the time it seemed she needed the dog more than me. I didn't visit the dog because it wouldn't make me feel good to leave again, might confuse the dog and also wouldn't help the ex.
I still think it was probably the right decision but it was chitty position to be in, I've learned my lesson..... When buying a pet, clearly establish ownership at the start.AP#3
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03-17-2021, 10:36 PM #3
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03-17-2021, 10:53 PM #4
I would go visit him whenever I could if I were you. E.g. dogs in an animal shelter were always so happy to have someone petting them and going out for a walk or run together.
He will soon learn that you always come back. You don't have to be 24/7 close to him in order for him to be happy seeing you, content in general and excited going on adventures with you.~~~ Children of seeds:
https://youtu.be/T112cNgGiGY
~~~ Adopt, don't shop:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9pJpMJ0IxE&t=29s
~~~ Countries for winners and losers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbpY-2nOYRI&t=3s
~~~ Say no to porn and prostitution:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU
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03-18-2021, 07:28 AM #5
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03-18-2021, 07:55 AM #6
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03-18-2021, 08:10 AM #7
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03-18-2021, 08:12 AM #8
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03-18-2021, 08:15 AM #9
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03-18-2021, 08:16 AM #10
Been through exactly this.
Had a dog 1-2 w/ an ex I was splitting with. I was working a job that was really busy as I built my career, including long days and travel. When thinking about what was best for the dog who will already struggle with the breakup regardless it was letting him go to my ex who was working from home.
Not gonna lie, it was tough. But as with anything in life time heals and things get easier. Years later when my schedule settled down I got another dog for myself, and a 2nd dog recently.
Just do what is best for the dog, be at peace with that, and everything will be fine.
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03-18-2021, 08:57 AM #11
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03-18-2021, 09:27 AM #12
It was an option but I choose not to. I didn't think it would be beneficial for me "getting over" the dog in the long term. I think seeing him would only add to how hard it was, wanting to take him home, second guessing my decision, etc. Beyond that I like clean breaks in relationships off the bat, don't see keeping in touch with ex's initially after breakups as beneficial whatsoever.
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03-18-2021, 09:43 AM #13
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03-18-2021, 10:09 AM #14
Often time the roads with the greatest rewards at the end seem the hardest to travel in the beginning.
I couldn't be happier where my life is now, career, relationship, new dogs. Wasn't an easy decision for me but was best in the long run, and best for my old dog to be with the person who's be around most.
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03-18-2021, 10:36 AM #15
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03-18-2021, 11:10 AM #16
It’s our pupper, not just mine. Not going to leave my one year old puppy at home all day from 8-5, when he could be with my ex all day with multiple bathroom breaks and a walk at lunch. Plus, he’s used to this schedule. You would put the bitterness of the breakup before your dog it seems.
Also, fuk you."Stop sitting back saying yeah man, I wanna be this, I wanna be that, grab your phucking nuts and be it" -Greg Plitt
Can't edit avi, mod tried to help but he couldn't figure it out either
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03-18-2021, 11:18 AM #17
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03-19-2021, 02:58 PM #18
Sounds like you've made the right decision even though it's tough and it hurts. That's what a man does, or should do. Unfortunately because you're a guy, no-one else will give a chit about your pain. Still you'll come through it and stronger because you did what you needed to.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
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03-22-2021, 07:46 PM #19
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03-23-2021, 09:35 AM #20
She thinks we can share the dog. Maybe I take him one week and she has him one week, or I come see him on the weekends.
She really thinks this can work for the rest of his life and made a dumb comparison of me abandoning our kids if we had any."Stop sitting back saying yeah man, I wanna be this, I wanna be that, grab your phucking nuts and be it" -Greg Plitt
Can't edit avi, mod tried to help but he couldn't figure it out either
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03-23-2021, 10:09 AM #21
Lmao if she makes the comparison of children to a dog, you made the right decision to breakup.
The dog will be fine. If it causes either of you stress to have to stay in contact to share/visit the dog, it's not worth it.
If you are able to stay amicable and the dog will not be used as a pawn to guilt the other person and/or a reason to stay in each others lives (still have an emotional attachment) then sure keep visiting or make a schedule.
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03-23-2021, 10:25 AM #22
She’s planning on moving 30 minutes away. She loves my family, and she has no friends or family here so I think she’s trying to stay in the loop. If I got a new gf down the line I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate me meeting up with my ex to get our shared dog lol. If a girl told me she shared custody of a dog with her ex I’d walk away immediately.
"Stop sitting back saying yeah man, I wanna be this, I wanna be that, grab your phucking nuts and be it" -Greg Plitt
Can't edit avi, mod tried to help but he couldn't figure it out either
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03-23-2021, 10:48 AM #23
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03-23-2021, 11:01 AM #24
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03-23-2021, 11:04 AM #25
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03-23-2021, 11:04 AM #26
IMO, you gotta just lay down you get the dog or she does and you want a clean break on the relationship. And just be honest that you think the dog is best with her due to scheduling. Splitting custody of a dog is a nightmare for your mental health and any potential new relationships down the line.
I've reconnected with EX's years down the line but I prefer not to and see nothing but negatives that come from keeping in touch with an EX directly following a breakup.
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03-23-2021, 11:15 AM #27
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03-23-2021, 12:43 PM #28
She's fine to break up but she doesn't want the consequences of that decision, which include the loss of your companionship and that of your family. Guilting you about the dog is a way to get what she wants.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
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03-23-2021, 03:03 PM #29
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03-24-2021, 11:35 PM #30
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