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  1. #1
    Registered User meanstringbean's Avatar
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    Most important financial decision you make isn't your career, or what you invest in

    ... it's who you end up marrying srs (IF you decide to go that route)

    Without question her views on finances will determine your money future. If she is a entitled little princess then you can be an investment banker netting near 6 figure bonuses and it wont ****ing matter she will find a way to spend it (have a couple buddies in this exact situation actually). Meanwhile, if she is easy going and brings in money herself then it's like a bonus multiplier to your finances. Most men are simps and just take what they can get, so they dont even think about this factor, but it absolutely should be a major filter in all your relationships going forward. Ask yourself - does she ADD to the total pot every month, or will she take away from it? Note - that doesnt mean how much or little she makes. Just if she herself knows the value of money and brings more home than her lifestyle demands will cost.

    There are 4 types of women with money:


    - Big earner, low spender - these women are generally very smart, and tbh likely a little masculine, as they dont follow social norms in terms of behavior or typical career interests. A lot of STEM chicks are like this. Anyone that knows a female physician, programmer, engineer, mathematician, etc. probably knows that they are often more like dudes than girls - very technical thinkers. Doesnt like adhering to traditional gender roles, but in finances this is basically hitting jackpot. Also divorce raped proof.

    - Low earner, low spender - they might not be as ambitious but they still were likely raised with good family values. Enjoy the little things. Etc. A lot of teachers, government employees, non profit employees fit in this group. Pros are it doesnt take much to genuinely make them happy. Cons are because of this they really dont have many great life experiences - probably never left their hometown, never been abroad, think a beach vacation in florida once a year is the dream life. Perfect SAHM material


    -----------------------DO NOT MARRY BELOW THIS LINE ------------------------------------


    - Big earner, high spender - MBAs, white collar professionals, lawyers, corporate climbers are in this bucket. They likely went to a good school, was in a sorority, and a VERY conscious of how people perceive them. That means following the latest trends, getting a luxury car, etc - if a woman shops Lululemon and owns a Peloton she is likely in this class. Pros are they are smart and successful themselves, but a con is they are really into keeping up with the joneses which just puts more pressure on you. And if you arent making the money they expect they will replace you and take half while they are at it.


    - Low earner, high spender - basically the Jewish American Princess class. These chicks are the worst of the worst because they bring absolutely zero to the table and expect the world. You will likely be on the hook to pay off their student loans, the new car they want, an expensive wedding or engagement ring, etc. Since these chicks have never had to earn money they have absolutely zero concept of it. No idea how investments work, how to generate wealth, etc. Likely will just leech off your finances for life. They arent looking for a husband, but a new 'daddy' to take care of them. The only positive is that these are frequently the best looking because they can get by on that alone , and generally are very traditional in how they view relationships if you're into that. That being said, because of their lack of professional skills and because of the financial stress they will add to your life - prepare to be absolutely ethered in divorce.
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  2. #2
    Registered User shoelaces's Avatar
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    Reading the title either assumed it was going to be about who you marry or how your raise your kids.

    There is always money to be made in this world if you look hard enough. But even if you are ceo 10k a day your expenses can and will out pace your earnings if you have bad spending habits. But most dudes are easily satisfied and don't need that much.

    It is women who always want and feel like they deserve the best. If your wife's friends are married to rich dudes you will never hear the end of it. She will resent you for not stacking up even if she never mentions it. This resentment will poison your marriage 10, 20 years down the line when she will divorce you and take all your chit out of spite.
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  3. #3
    Registered User DeputyDong5's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by shoelaces View Post
    Reading the title either assumed it was going to be about who you marry or how your raise your kids.

    There is always money to be made in this world if you look hard enough. But even if you are ceo 10k a day your expenses can and will out pace your earnings if you have bad spending habits. But most dudes are easily satisfied and don't need that much.

    It is women who always want and feel like they deserve the best. If your wife's friends are married to rich dudes you will never hear the end of it. She will resent you for not stacking up even if she never mentions it. This resentment will poison your marriage 10, 20 years down the line when she will divorce you and take all your chit out of spite.
    yeah this is it... been mirin a few of your posts lately... srs.

    Women are never satisfied. And there's no helping you if she has a toxic group of female friends in her ear also with past failed marriages. What they think will become more important than what she thinks. I'm not against a long-term relationship. But it should be one where two adults can part ways on their own terms without this gigantic legal wall in front of you that the wife is already halfway up.
    - Comparison is the thief of joy
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  4. #4
    Registered User meanstringbean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by shoelaces View Post
    Reading the title either assumed it was going to be about who you marry or how your raise your kids.

    There is always money to be made in this world if you look hard enough. But even if you are ceo 10k a day your expenses can and will out pace your earnings if you have bad spending habits. But most dudes are easily satisfied and don't need that much.

    It is women who always want and feel like they deserve the best. If your wife's friends are married to rich dudes you will never hear the end of it. She will resent you for not stacking up even if she never mentions it. This resentment will poison your marriage 10, 20 years down the line when she will divorce you and take all your chit out of spite.

    I saw it firsthand with my parents. Dad was well paid but a pushover, mom made crap money but loved the extravagant life. A lot of the stuff as a kid you dont pay attention to but look back as an adult and realize the massive house with swimming pool, expensive vacations, tens of thousands in credit card debt, new cars, etc. was just simply absurd. Well eventually all of that was lost and now they are past retirement age but live solely on social security and part time jobs lol

    I see the same thing brewing with a few of my friends and it's ALWAYS the wife who is the spending one, and not the other way around. There are a couple that are dual professional households who live below their means and 100% are ****ing killing it which is awesome. But there are others where the guy paid off 100k+ in student loans for his girlfriend who doesnt even work anymore, others where whenever the guy comes home with a raise or a bonus it's IMMEDIATELY earmarked by the wife for either home 'improvements' or purses/jewlery/nonsense etc. These are guys that both make well into the six figures but have basically nothing saved for retirement.


    This isnt supposed to be a **** on women post - just make sure it's part of the vetting process lads
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  5. #5
    Registered User meanstringbean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DeputyDong5 View Post
    yeah this is it... been mirin a few of your posts lately... srs.

    Women are never satisfied. And there's no helping you if she has a toxic group of female friends in her ear also with past failed marriages. What they think will become more important than what she thinks. I'm not against a long-term relationship. But it should be one where two adults can part ways on their own terms without this gigantic legal wall in front of you that the wife is already halfway up.

    If she's divorced and her ex has a lot of money or status symbols then you will be playing catch up for the rest of your life srs
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  6. #6
    Registered User shoelaces's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DeputyDong5 View Post
    yeah this is it... been mirin a few of your posts lately... srs.

    Women are never satisfied. And there's no helping you if she has a toxic group of female friends in her ear also with past failed marriages. What they think will become more important than what she thinks. I'm not against a long-term relationship. But it should be one where two adults can part ways on their own terms without this gigantic legal wall in front of you that the wife is already halfway up.

    Who your gf/wife keeps around as friends is a direct reflection of her true values. If she surrounds herself with toxic friends, eventually she will become just like them if she hasn't already. I swear most guys ignore blatant red flags because they are blinded by the sugarwalls.
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  7. #7
    Registered User shoelaces's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by meanstringbean View Post
    I saw it firsthand with my parents. Dad was well paid but a pushover, mom made crap money but loved the extravagant life. A lot of the stuff as a kid you dont pay attention to but look back as an adult and realize the massive house with swimming pool, expensive vacations, tens of thousands in credit card debt, new cars, etc. was just simply absurd. Well eventually all of that was lost and now they are past retirement age but live solely on social security and part time jobs lol

    I see the same thing brewing with a few of my friends and it's ALWAYS the wife who is the spending one, and not the other way around. There are a couple that are dual professional households who live below their means and 100% are ****ing killing it which is awesome. But there are others where the guy paid off 100k+ in student loans for his girlfriend who doesnt even work anymore, others where whenever the guy comes home with a raise or a bonus it's IMMEDIATELY earmarked by the wife for either home 'improvements' or purses/jewlery/nonsense etc. These are guys that both make well into the six figures but have basically nothing saved for retirement.


    This isnt supposed to be a **** on women post - just make sure it's part of the vetting process lads

    This is the kind of stuff that needs to be taught in schools. Managing finances and how to deal with relationship problems in healthy ways. Stuff that actually matters in life. But then again schools are just indoctrination centers brainwashing the future work force to be obedient little slaves. Being trapped in debt and misery only helps the wealth elite so nothing will change.
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  8. #8
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    Married a woman who put me on the promotion path and partnered on a successful property development business

    Burns money like it’s rubles in the 90s but I still think I’m above the line
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    AAS Free since '93 Jacobcapra's Avatar
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    fuk this thread is brutal, I hoped that it was a stereotype. Lucky to have married a smart woman. Clears almost 80K/year, had no debt and 20K saved when we married at 24, drove her 2006 camry till 2020. She likes expensive things but is smart about what to buy and when.

    I absolutely see some of our other married friends falling into the trap of trying to keep up with us. We make more than all our friends, have the biggest house and the nicest cars. Not trying to flex, just how it is. Two or three couples we're close with just KEEP making the same financial and life decisions we do, even though they're not in the financial position. I can literally see it straining their marriage.
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    Registered User OliverHeldens's Avatar
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    As a guy who is currently considering getting involved with a low earner medium spender, I'm having trouble with it. I'm ok with being the sole breadwinner, as I have high income income and will have a large inheritance someday and likely will not ever have money issues. That being said, I have a fundamental issue with having a girl who doesn't work. It seems so old timey and ripe for things to go wrong in modern society.
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    Check your Credentials Devils's Avatar
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    Money over covering your needs isn't important. Happiness and less stress is important.
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  12. #12
    Registered User meanstringbean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by OliverHeldens View Post
    As a guy who is currently considering getting involved with a low earner medium spender, I'm having trouble with it. I'm ok with being the sole breadwinner, as I have high income income and will have a large inheritance someday and likely will not ever have money issues. That being said, I have a fundamental issue with having a girl who doesn't work. It seems so old timey and ripe for things to go wrong in modern society.


    My rule of thumb with women and work/money is this:

    - HAS to have a CAREER - that does NOT mean make big money. 40k a year as a teacher? or Social Worker? or whatever? That counts since there is actually some passion and interest there in improving the lives of others. But if you're a ****ing bartender, barista, retail etc. and no goal or vision to either own the place/management then you are basically drifting aimlessly in life hoping someone passes you by and bails you out. No bueno

    - HAS to add to the pot. Again, dont care if you make 40k. But you better be fine eating in 6 nights a week, driving a 10+ year old Honda, and living in the type of house I want aka your lifestyle better not exceed 30k a year so you are actively adding to the household financially. If she wants the nicer lifestyle then that is also fine too - but that better come with HER making enough money to not only cover it but , again, cover it and then add some to the pot.

    Being with someone should strengthen your financial standing - not diminish it. If girls didnt meet both criteria then automatically nexted them
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    really solid post man

    for me low income and low spender is perfect for me

    I dated a really pretty low income high spender and I was always in the hole for $$

    I dont mess w career women
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