Seeing new girl, getting in my head

[cazzo1]

Hey all I am 30 and have been seeing a girl who is 29. This is my first real gf since 2012-2014. Now I will say.. I have lived a very very very good single life. I was a late bloomer when it came to girls, but from 2014-2020, I banged anything and everything. For the last couple of year I have been doing great with girls 18-23 and 35+. We knew the intentions, come over, bang, cuddle for a little, sleep over or just go home.

Now this girl I am seeing now checks all the boxes. Great job, amazing personality, beautiful (not a girl I would just want to fck and forget about like im used to), does whatever I want in bed, cooks, cleans, basically someone I can see myself raising kids with.

I have been however gettig in my head with that fact that.. that's it, random bangs are over and done with, no more chasing, flirting etc. Deep down I am ready for it, but I am having a tough time adjusting and occasionally will go soft with her whch of course casues it own problems.

Anyway, any tips or advice to really get out of my head? I would be stupid to give this up and go back to chasing, and most likely not finding a good quality girl.

[DustinTheHuss]

I would just keep focusing on the positive things about her and the negative things about chasing girls. You don't want to let go of someone who is marriage material. Think with your rational brain and not your emotional brain.

[cazzo1]

I would just keep focusing on the positive things about her and the negative things about chasing girls. You don't want to let go of someone who is marriage material. Think with your rational brain and not your emotional brain.

Cheers man. I really appreciate it. Such simple advice. I needed to hear that from other miscers

[lukefaulky32]

See how it goes with her and always have a backup plan dont be surprised if she turns out to be a worthless sloot down the line.

[gmmvp42]

Same advice for anyone ? their relationship, if you imagine having a kid and the thought makes you happy/not think "oh ****!", then you have figured it out.

[cazzo1]

Same advice for anyone ? their relationship, if you imagine having a kid and the thought makes you happy/not think "oh ****!", then you have figured it out.

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I’d have a kid with her easily.

The girls I randomly bang, never would want it. Because I view then as sloots

[Kev1972]

Can't keep your dick hard

She's the best man

Pick one

[cazzo1]

Can't keep your dick hard

She's the best man

Pick one

Haha she rode me last night and I finished in 2 minutes. Starting to see more and more wife material out of her each day

[808Handyman]

I let go of a girl who was marriage material back when I was 28, 6 years ago (kill count of 5, masters degree and solid career, do anything in bed, lady in the streets, cook, clean, great with her baby nephew/niece), and I regret it still. Got married to the wrong one at 31, got divorced at 33, learned my lesson.

I’m having fun now. But I’d go back and wife up that first one if I could go back in time. She’s married now. Another guy knew what to do.

Enjoy the good about her, don’t **** it up, stay away from the old fwb smash n dash chicks, and you’ll be fine. Finding wife material as you age only gets harder. I’m still looking.

[cazzo1]

I let go of a girl who was marriage material back when I was 28, 6 years ago (kill count of 5, masters degree and solid career, do anything in bed, lady in the streets, cook, clean, great with her baby nephew/niece), and I regret it still. Got married to the wrong one at 31, got divorced at 33, learned my lesson.

I’m having fun now. But I’d go back and wife up that first one if I could go back in time. She’s married now. Another guy knew what to do.

Enjoy the good about her, don’t **** it up, stay away from the old fwb smash n dash chicks, and you’ll be fine. Finding wife material as you age only gets harder. I’m still looking.

Damn man that’s rough. Why’d you end things with the first one?

[skinnyfat88]

Totally understand where you're coming from.
Realistically, you can't have the best of both worlds.
Just gotta be in a time/place in your life and find the right partner so that being with them far outweighs the short-term highs associated with being single.

[InsanePain11]

As another poster said, quality is very hard to find these days and I don't think that'll change soon. It is easy to take for granted when you're in it.. my advice is to treat her well and don't take her for granted, not to kiss up or anything but just treat her fair and well. This type of girl will be more and more valuable in your life long term. Whenever you're in a relationship there will always be thoughts and fantasies about other women, it's human nature and realistically girls will do that also even if she values you.

I haven't found quality like that yet. I've had to end long relationships with girls who were missing many of the boxes you mentioned that this girl checks off. Be grateful brah, just my advice. When you fuk around and lose her and she leaves, your heart will be aching and it won't be easy to start over and you might find that girls like this are even rarer than you know. No girl can be a perfect bodied pornstar in bed and a perfect classy successful and loving/loyal/sweet girl in the world. Sounds like this girl you have has a pretty damn good balance. The older I get the more I realize that I want a girl like that and even though I like to feel 'free' and single, long term that will set you up for loneliness if you don't play your cards right.

[cazzo1]

Totally understand where you're coming from.
Realistically, you can't have the best of both worlds.
Just gotta be in a time/place in your life and find the right partner so that being with them far outweighs the short-term highs associated with being single.

Yup, and the more Im with her, the more im valuing it all and forgetting about the random sex

As another poster said, quality is very hard to find these days and I don't think that'll change soon. It is easy to take for granted when you're in it.. my advice is to treat her well and don't take her for granted, not to kiss up or anything but just treat her fair and well. This type of girl will be more and more valuable in your life long term. Whenever you're in a relationship there will always be thoughts and fantasies about other women, it's human nature and realistically girls will do that also even if she values you.

I haven't found quality like that yet. I've had to end long relationships with girls who were missing many of the boxes you mentioned that this girl checks off. Be grateful brah, just my advice. When you fuk around and lose her and she leaves, your heart will be aching and it won't be easy to start over and you might find that girls like this are even rarer than you know. No girl can be a perfect bodied pornstar in bed and a perfect classy successful and loving/loyal/sweet girl in the world. Sounds like this girl you have has a pretty damn good balance. The older I get the more I realize that I want a girl like that and even though I like to feel 'free' and single, long term that will set you up for loneliness if you don't play your cards right.

damn brah that was deep, thanks for that eye opener.

[RyanJLuu]

A soul mate is once in a lifetime sort of situation. Some people never even experience this level of companionship. I've met one before but since we separated she became a different person. I'd say if we never separated, we be perfect together. But life experience can change your whole personality. I can't say now that I can't see us together and i truly wish she was the old her but I know the idea will never happen.

Don't let this one go because if you ever reconnect, you may not get the perfect her again. Just a butterfly effect of life.

[808Handyman]

Damn man that’s rough. Why’d you end things with the first one?

Yeah rough indeed. To be honest? She stopped diet and exercise and gained a bunch of weight (135-185 in 6-7 years) while I lifted and maintained my physique. Secondly, she was horrible with her money. Was always broke, always spending it all on stupid things while I paid the bills. Thirdly, she was too messy. Was clean as far as germs go, but always bras and crap all over the house.

I tried breaking those bad habits of hers, but I couldn’t. I dealt with them in the beginning, but over the years they wore on me. I’m a neat freak, gym rat, and good with my money. I didn’t really realize how important those qualities are for me in a partner (met her when I was 21). Lost attraction brah.

Looking back now, she was still great wife material. I’ve had hotter, wealthier, cleaner, freakier etc, but when I compare her to the rest, she still trumps them all in the “overall” category. Live n learn brah

[rgnx]

Yeah rough indeed. To be honest? She stopped diet and exercise and gained a bunch of weight (135-185 in 6-7 years) while I lifted and maintained my physique. Secondly, she was horrible with her money. Was always broke, always spending it all on stupid things while I paid the bills. Thirdly, she was too messy. Was clean as far as germs go, but always bras and crap all over the house.

I tried breaking those bad habits of hers, but I couldn’t. I dealt with them in the beginning, but over the years they wore on me. I’m a neat freak, gym rat, and good with my money. I didn’t really realize how important those qualities are for me in a partner (met her when I was 21). Lost attraction brah.

Looking back now, she was still great wife material. I’ve had hotter, wealthier, cleaner, freakier etc, but when I compare her to the rest, she still trumps them all in the “overall” category. Live n learn brah

what gym u go to brah?

[808Handyman]

what gym u go to brah?

24 Kapolei

You?

[Caeculus]

its all an act and will turn into a monster when she has you hooked good luck

[Hypernation]

Yeah rough indeed. To be honest? She stopped diet and exercise and gained a bunch of weight (135-185 in 6-7 years) while I lifted and maintained my physique. Secondly, she was horrible with her money. Was always broke, always spending it all on stupid things while I paid the bills. Thirdly, she was too messy. Was clean as far as germs go, but always bras and crap all over the house.

I tried breaking those bad habits of hers, but I couldn’t. I dealt with them in the beginning, but over the years they wore on me. I’m a neat freak, gym rat, and good with my money. I didn’t really realize how important those qualities are for me in a partner (met her when I was 21). Lost attraction brah.

Looking back now, she was still great wife material. I’ve had hotter, wealthier, cleaner, freakier etc, but when I compare her to the rest, she still trumps them all in the “overall” category. Live n learn brah

You made the right choice. Her lifestyle/habits don’t match yours.

Gaining all that weight? A slob? Horrible w/ money? That sets up for a nasty divorce. You would’ve gone fu cking insane.

You’re wearing rose colored lenses or whatever.

[808Handyman]

You made the right choice. Her lifestyle/habits don’t match yours.

Gaining all that weight? A slob? Horrible w/ money? That sets up for a nasty divorce. You would’ve gone fu cking insane.

You’re wearing rose colored lenses or whatever.

Yeah I agree. Now that I’m 34 and looking back, I definitely was wearing rose colored glasses. Finding someone who matches your lifestyle and is good quality marriage material is rough in this day and age brahs.

Went on a date last night. Tinder girl, spent 4 hours chatting it up, super solid as a person and career wise, smart, funny, cute Japanese chick except that she was at least 30lbs heavier than her already thick pix. Can’t do it brah. The quest continues.