Question to the OV35 folks, hope it doesn't come across wrong, but knowing some folk

[Cass40]

I sometimes try to imagine what it must be like to live life like that ... to understand the subjective experiences of people who love interacting and socializing with others. I can only really understand it in a dry academic way...I can't really imagine the subjective experiential aspects of it. I can't put myself in their shoes and see the world through their eyes even though I try.

For me it is a weird paradox. I find the differences among people to be really interesting and I want to understand them...almost like mechanical devices to be studied, but I have almost no interest in casual social interaction and do my best to avoid it in most circumstances.

I think for them it's like getting recharged and energized whereas for us it will drain us and make us exhausted.

[Karl_Hungus]

I think for them it's like getting recharged and energized whereas for us it will drain us and make us exhausted.

^^ For sure. That is a good description...

[charlievanriper]

This might come out as a bragging thread and probably no matter how I try to down play it no matter what it will come across as bragging or "look at me" me thread, but anyway I hope it doesn't, but....

So here is the question, do folks gravitate towards you when you enter a room? Whenever I go somewhere a club, the mall, the gym, a person's house and there are folks I don't know etc, people tend to gravitate towards me and always want to either be around me or converse with me.

I've been told by woman I have a charming personality and told by men that I have demeanor about me that demands respect.

I know, I know, there is no way this isn't bragging, but I am sincerely being honest here and was just wondering if other folks on here get this same treatment from both women and men.

My boss in a factory 40 years ago told me, "John you have a way about you that folks will always take notice" I was 16 at the time and I didn't quite understood what he meant by that.

BH yes to some it will come off wrong but to hell with them, and to Answer you from someone that is always taken wrong except by those who actually meet meet me in Person The fact is no its not Bragging its Real and I appreciate Threads like this because its who you are not and written to be soft spoken humble as some call it or to placate someone who is easily butt hurt.. As I always say Be you bro.. To add yes I have ben told the same and when Crystal and I go out to eat or clubbing people always come and hang with us or invite us to join them ect..

[OldFartTom]

It just may come across the Finns are aloof and weirdly quiet but it's just the way we are...

In my unscientific and low sample study of Finns outside of Finland - at first I thought they were odd, for example a girl I worked with who had Finnish flags around her desk and even mouse mat saying "Suomi" (who uses mouse mats these days?). It took me a while to realise that was probably the result of years of endlessly being asked "What part of Sweden do you come from?" So probably they were the most normal and certainly some of the most patient people I've met.

[steffo99]

I don't have the "gift of gab" nor am I particularly funny. Those are the two traits that IMO the average person tends to gravitate toward.

I am polite, friendly, and nice, but that doesn't attract the same as funny guy or talkative guy.

This is me 90% of the time, but if I'm feeling it I may throw in totally unexpected things like a monkey sound or something. Works like a charm.

[bodyhard]

John, while we haven't talked in person, I believe you to be a natural leader. Now before you get all smug, being a natural leader is not like something you work your ass off for. IMHO, it's a characteristic based on specific brain chemistry. The "physical" part is way down the list of factors.... look at Hitler. :|

Speaking of which, while being a leader is not hard, doing right by those you lead (or others) is the tricky bit. Unfortunately, most of the people who would make great leaders wouldn't want to be leaders. That's why we're mostly stuck with pond scum.

Anyways, this Simon Sinek dude has some good insight on effective leadership if you're interested.

You have my number man, still waiting on your call, I have this weird feeling that you are more like me than you care to admit, the good parts anyway

BH yes to some it will come off wrong but to hell with them, and to Answer you from someone that is always taken wrong except by those who actually meet meet me in Person The fact is no its not Bragging its Real and I appreciate Threads like this because its who you are not and written to be soft spoken humble as some call it or to placate someone who is easily butt hurt.. As I always say Be you bro.. To add yes I have ben told the same and when Crystal and I go out to eat or clubbing people always come and hang with us or invite us to join them ect..

You know before I really didn't give two sh!ts what people on this site thought of me, but over the years I have gotten to know and respect a lot of people on here and I guess I just don't want the folks who I respect to see me as a bragging person, in short I respect their opinion of me, who knows maybe I just gotten soft over the years.

Anyway to add to that, children also gravitate towards me as well, I am not sure why, but kids really like me and always come to me. A good example of strangers who I don't know gravitating towards me was John (a member here) two small daughters. When I went to his house his two little girls were playing with me like if they knew me for years, I in turn, with my wife went and purchased them two little dolls for them to play with, just because I love children as well.

[Payton1221]

In life I'm a witty guy. Less witty (my wife says) since I quit drinking but I digress. I've always been liked in most circles, but I have not had that kind of magnetism that you spoke of.

AT WORK, I am "that guy." It's exactly as you say where people gravitate to me. I'm certainly one of the more senior employees (started right out of college in 1989), but it's downright awkward for me at some (monthly) management meetings where many people will be talking directly to me instead of addressing the entire group of about 10 people. And some things (not always) that should be directed at one of the two employees higher up on the organizational chart is still communicated directly to me.

I certainly don't have what you have, but it's often referred to the "it factor." Google it if it's a concept that you've not heard before.

[OldFartTom]

I could enter a room without making an entrance, steal your keys and wallet, walk out again and when asked later to describe me you really wouldn't remember much. Instantly forgettable.

[Payton1221]

I could enter a room without making an entrance, steal your keys and wallet, walk out again and when asked later to describe me you really wouldn't remember much. Instantly forgettable.

There's a spy series of books called the Gray Man series. The author, Mark Greaney, who writes real spies are instantly FORGETABLE. He said the likes of Daniel Craig and Sean Connery are only in the movies. So I think there's a career for you in the CIA (or MI6 )

[Jtbny]

Having hung with you IRL I'd say they are right. You have a fun personality without trying to be "on".

[bodyhard]

Having hung with you IRL I'd say they are right. You have a fun personality without trying to be "on".

Appreciate the feedback, just reassures that I am not trying to brag here in anyway, I think some people just have that kind of personality, I never try and be anything I am not, I genuinely like people, like meeting new people and love to interact with folks.

My wife thinks I am crazy for going to different states just to meet people online, but I really enjoy it, it was a pleasure meeting you and your family and your daughters were adorable and how they cheered you on (during the meet) says a lot about the character of the man you are, respect.

[ajdahlheimer]

My wife thinks I am crazy for going to different states just to meet people online, but I really enjoy it,...

Speaking of that, when and where is the next one planned? Or are peeps waiting until Covid is over (i.e. when we are on the OVER 75 forum )?

[bodyhard]

Speaking of that, when and where is the next one planned? Or are peeps waiting until Covid is over (i.e. when we are on the OVER 75 forum )?

Not me, I will meet anyone if they are willing to meet. I will wear 3 mask if they feel more comfortable

[ajdahlheimer]

Not me, I will meet anyone if they are willing to meet. I will wear 3 mask if they feel more comfortable

This would be the preferred mask for meeting the "Puerto Rican Pulverizer"........

[bodyhard]

This would be the preferred mask for meeting the "Puerto Rican Pulverizer"........

LOL damn I have such a fcked up rep!