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  1. #61
    Registered User Soonerjohn's Avatar
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    With kids, your life is busy as you go to all sorts of events. Vacations are oriented towards kids. Most people in this situation tend to be happy but live their lives for their kids. Nothing wrong with this, but empty nest will be difficult.

    With a wife and no kids, you build a lot of wealth and take very nice adult oriented vacations. The people I know in this situation are well grounded and polite. Seems to be a very easy life.

    The few I have known that didn't get married always strike me as wanting to be married. They have strong opinions on everything. I think this is born out of a need for attention.
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  2. #62
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by littlemissy View Post
    I really like that and never thought about it that way.

    Children have never been a bucket list or priority of mine. I only saw them as more responsibility. I can see how rewarding it can be having children though. Coming from a poverty up bringing and always having to contribute to the household from holding jobs since I was in my teens to taking care of my now older parents with illnesses. It has made me allergic to more responsibility.

    I think I'd be happy keeping myself busy with all my hobbies and in a ltr.
    Yes the responsibility is one of the reasons I never wanted kids. (Among other reasons like fear of a special needs child or child with other physical or mental issues). Kids require a TON of work and attention and caretaking and worrying 24/7.

    I have always wanted to keep my life low responsibility and I avoid commitments that generate errands and chores. I don’t even want pets. I want to keep my free time completely free without a to do list.

    I do think men have it much easier in this regard. None of the dads I know put as much work into caretaking as the moms. The moms do the VAST majority of the work at home PLUS they have careers and work. It’s a lot and there is no time left for their own leisure.

    So I think if I was a guy and could keep a SAHM to do all the work of child rearing and homemaking then maybe I would want kids. As a man if you set it up right you can get the benefits of kids without the burdens.

    The other way I could see it work is if my husband were wealthy and we could outsource literally everything. So I would never have to lift a finger never cook or clean or run errands etc. Everything would be taken care of so I would just have fun with the kids and then enjoy my leisure time.
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  3. #63
    Registered User stayhomeneet's Avatar
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    I'm in my 30s and my life consists of work, gym, hobbies, hanging out with friends. I don't go clubbing anymore or anything but I still do the whole tinder hookup thing.

    My main thing is I will not bring a child into this world who's not going to have a good start in life, financially I've only just got there, and I haven't found an LTR who I honestly thought would be a good mother.

    So it is what it is, I'd rather just nor do marriage and kids than do it and end up divorced and bringing another single parent household child into the world.
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  4. #64
    Registered User optimisticAir's Avatar
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    life is what you make it. It could go great for you.
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  5. #65
    No homo... GiveMeTheD's Avatar
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    I am 32 and single.

    I lift, hike, play computer games, read, travel to new places, cook, learn new skills, smash random women.

    There is a certain emptiness to it. But I am happy. Definitely the harder road to take. I feel children are a distraction for a lot of people from how mundane life can feel.

    If I ask my work colleague what their passions are. They just say kids, wife and a random sports team they watch/tv.

    I don't know which is better really. I guess society dictates having children. If I met someone I really loved I probably would. But I never have.
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  6. #66
    Retired at 42 wave_length's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GiveMeTheD View Post
    There is a certain emptiness to it. But I am happy. Definitely the harder road to take. I feel children are a distraction for a lot of people from how mundane life can feel.
    Dude I've been childless until I was 40 and let me tell you, it's not the harder road.
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  7. #67
    Registered User Jaydawg08's Avatar
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    I'm 32 and not married with no kids either. I'd say I'm happy right now but can tell in the next few years when I'm not obsessed with my job, that having a family and kids will probably be the next thing I'm concerned with.

    Like miscers I never wanted to get married or have kids, but my mind has been changed after seeing how life could potentially be if it gets into your late 30's and 40's. Aging sucks in a way, don't want to be an old dad but want to travel and have my freedom and nice things I can selfishly buy as well

    Finding the right person is the most important part
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  8. #68
    Trancebrah _zman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Soonerjohn View Post
    With kids, your life is busy as you go to all sorts of events. Vacations are oriented towards kids. Most people in this situation tend to be happy but live their lives for their kids. Nothing wrong with this, but empty nest will be difficult.
    I think of the scenario of having kids, sort of like a 2nd life. Everything in your life will change, if you're not a chitty parent. Everything is no longer about you, and I think a lot of people can't handle that either...and they realize it after having kids.

    Then there's also a lot of parents who live just to give their kids the life they didn't have and live through them. Again, no thanks.

    That's why it's a lot harder to just say let's get married, lets have kids, because let's be serious, it's pretty damn hard to find a sane, reasonable woman to do that with as well.

    I mean, on average, do people with kids/marriage even live a happier life? On avg, I'd say it's a toss up, but haven't looked into it.
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  9. #69
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by _zman View Post
    I think of the scenario of having kids, sort of like a 2nd life. Everything in your life will change, if you're not a chitty parent. Everything is no longer about you, and I think a lot of people can't handle that either...and they realize it after having kids.

    Then there's also a lot of parents who live just to give their kids the life they didn't have and live through them. Again, no thanks.

    That's why it's a lot harder to just say let's get married, lets have kids, because let's be serious, it's pretty damn hard to find a sane, reasonable woman to do that with as well.

    I mean, on average, do people with kids/marriage even live a happier life? On avg, I'd say it's a toss up, but haven't looked into it.
    My friends and sisters all have kids and they all say their life got much harder and they are busy and stressed 24/7. They sacrificed all their personal leisure time and personal development etc for their kids. BUT they say it’s all worth it because they love their kids so much.

    I know there are also a lot of people who secretly regret having kids though. Especially special needs kids or difficult kids etc. Obviously a huge taboo so people don’t talk about it but there are anonymous message boards online where people vent about it.

    I’ve also noticed that the people most vocal about kids are the ones with young kids. When they are still small parents can still project all their hopes and dreams on them and see them as extensions of the parents. Once the kids become teenagers they develop into separate persons though with their own goals and interests and then parents talk about them a lot less. So yes I do think a lot of parents had kids as extensions of themselves, as mini me’s, and they do feel disappointment when the child becomes its own person and chooses a different direction.
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  10. #70
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GiveMeTheD View Post
    I am 32 and single.

    I lift, hike, play computer games, read, travel to new places, cook, learn new skills, smash random women.

    There is a certain emptiness to it. But I am happy. Definitely the harder road to take. I feel children are a distraction for a lot of people from how mundane life can feel.

    If I ask my work colleague what their passions are. They just say kids, wife and a random sports team they watch/tv.

    I don't know which is better really. I guess society dictates having children. If I met someone I really loved I probably would. But I never have.
    At least they mention their wife lmao. The women I know with kids are all completely focused on kids and career. The husbands are an afterthought. The husbands don’t really have much of a role other than working. Seems like the women run everything and are just kind of along for the ride on the wife and kids’ schedule.
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  11. #71
    Broscience Engineer Merc009's Avatar
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    When Im 40 I’ll probably be alone with a cat and a dog.... or maybe an adopted kid

    There is no point in marriage, 90% of the time it ends up in divorce, child support, your wife cheating, and a really chit marriage where all you guys do is argue. When Im old I don’t want to worry about this dumb stuff

    Those happy marriages you see in movies are not real
    -Some people say good things come to those who wait, truth is, good things come to those who work..... who work later.....who work harder...... who are willing to go further than anyone else to get them. If you're waiting for good things to come to you, you'll be waiting for a pretty long time.

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  12. #72
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Merc009 View Post
    When Im 40 I’ll probably be alone with a cat and a dog.... or maybe an adopted kid

    There is no point in marriage, 90% of the time it ends up in divorce, child support, your wife cheating, and a really chit marriage where all you guys do is argue. When Im old I don’t want to worry about this dumb stuff

    Those happy marriages you see in movies are not real
    I do believe happy marriages exist but I think it’s a small minority. The majority either end in divorce or cheating or sexless or other problems. For two people to genuinely stay in love and stay attracted to each other and stay aligned over time as to goals/values/lifestyle etc is VERY rare.
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  13. #73
    Registered User donblaximus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SSM12 View Post
    Im basically single at 32. I don't mind it. I enjoy spending my money on me and only having to worry about myself tbh. Its just easier. Obviously I am still dating and I am currently sorta seeing someone, but as far as like intense relationships go, I enjoy my freedom. Sorta sucks because I do enjoy relationships, but its hard for me at the current moment to feel 100% committed and that isn't fair to anyone else.

    Im very comfortable with where I am at and what I am doing and I really don't need a distraction.

    If you YEARN for a relationship, I am sure it will suck as you get older, but if you enjoy your own company, its fine.
    32 is still young. At 32 i was still going to Mexico on fishing trips with my buddies and shot gunning beers on the lake. 45-50 is when the tide starts changing (assuming you look young)

    I have a neighbor 4 houses down from me. My guess is he's worth anywhere between $5-7M maybe. He goes for walks and if I am out, he will stop and chat my ear off. My wife would hide if he saw him coming. He tells me how lonely he is and how there will be a week that goes by and he doesnt talk to anyone. Thats the only person I know that I personally talk to that fits this single and never married and older.
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  14. #74
    Registered Stacy Silencespeaks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by donblaximus View Post
    32 is still young. At 32 i was still going to Mexico on fishing trips with my buddies and shot gunning beers on the lake. 45-50 is when the tide starts changing (assuming you look young)

    I have a neighbor 4 houses down from me. My guess is he's worth anywhere between $5-7M maybe. He goes for walks and if I am out, he will stop and chat my ear off. My wife would hide if he saw him coming. He tells me how lonely he is and how there will be a week that goes by and he doesnt talk to anyone. Thats the only person I know that I personally talk to that fits this single and never married and older.
    That’s by choice though. With that kind of money he can easily get a young gf or wife.
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    yerrrrrrrr meh? AltarOfPlagues's Avatar
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    im puttin up one of my kids for adoption bc this dude ate all the zebra cakes, prob legit 4 pairs of zebra cakes in an afternoon.
    hello everyone. im coming directly to you fer ask a quick favor.
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  16. #76
    Super Straight ohiostate124's Avatar
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    Registered User JoeDelts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    That’s by choice though. With that kind of money he can easily get a young gf or wife.
    Doubt he'd ever trust any sloot that isn't as well off as he is and finding a single rich attractive woman that isn't insane would be rarer than a unicorn.
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  18. #78
    Registered User Mercworx's Avatar
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    Fun, freeing, as exciting as you make it which as you age will decrease until its eventually nearly meaningless.

    Misc knows I knocked up a rando from twitter. Currently living with her. Do I regret it? All the ****ing time. Definitely wouldnt do it again. On the other hand having a child and family unit all of a sudden does give you a weird sense of purpose. It is more work though and draining. Overall this is probably a good thing to happen to me.

    So using my experience as a reference I would say its absolutely worth having a family with a woman you love and choose carefully.


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  19. #79
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    Originally Posted by ohiostate124 View Post
    Getting yucky with the boys? The boys will start families and you will stopped getting invited to things.
    Oh you'll be invited.. but kids will be around everywhere and the only real connection you'll have is "remember way back when we used to do all those fun things!".
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    That’s by choice though. With that kind of money he can easily get a young gf or wife.
    At 45-50, I wouldnt want to put up with the BS of a young girl and I would guess he doesnt want to either. As you said "his choice". I also dont think he lives a lifestyle thats flashy enough to attract hot 20' something year olds. $5M-7 really isnt that much considering his house is $1.5M of that and he still has to pay $45k per year of taxes alone on that house and that money has to last him for at least 20 years.
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    Originally Posted by donblaximus View Post
    At 45-50, I wouldnt want to put up with the BS of a young girl and I would guess he doesnt want to either. As you said "his choice". I also dont think he lives a lifestyle thats flashy enough to attract hot 20' something year olds. $5M-7 really isnt that much considering his house is $1.5M of that and he still has to pay $45k per year of taxes alone on that house and that money has to last him for at least 20 years.
    Hmmmm I wonder if he would be interested in a glowless middle aged female miscer then.
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    this thread is a giant blackpill and depressing as fuark.

    I have never done "great" with women, although I have dated and had a couple serious girlfriends. Feelz over tbh.

    all i want is a few years of being able to smash attractive ltc sloots, then settle down and start a family. But I'm already 30
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    Not sure but getting closer to figuring out, Not really interested in dating have had plenty of sexors and multiple partners and if it happens it happens but my sole focus is not having a gf or chasing a gf like when I was 13 I am open to having a relationship but with how many trashy women I see knowing my value I would find it near impossible to settle so the only thing to do is incomemaxxx and looksmaxxx because there is no other way to KEEP a top tier women anybody can get a top tier women but if you look like chit or you're blowing all your cash taking her on dates trying to impress her she will get bored 100% and it will be more exciting for her to get railed by the bartender at a dive bar then somebody desperate trying hard as fook you keep a top tier women by being more attractive and more successful then the average person she can find so it motivates her to actually try and keep you happy anything else is cope and plus incomemaxxing and looksmaxxing will make it way easier to get a girl when you can have a top tier physique and go for a drive and pull up on your rental properties and show her you're the real life mr. money bags monopoly man. None the less worst case scenario I would potentially adopt to be able to pass the wealth down and keep things moving but I'd rather have it be blood of course but either way as other people pointed out I think the people who marry to young are on total suicide watch but won't admit it knowing they're trapped af.
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    Originally Posted by ScramFranklin View Post
    this thread is a giant blackpill and depressing as fuark.

    I have never done "great" with women, although I have dated and had a couple serious girlfriends. Feelz over tbh.

    all i want is a few years of being able to smash attractive ltc sloots, then settle down and start a family. But I'm already 30
    Wait five years. There will be a wave of divorced broken women with teenage kids for you to pick from.
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    Trancebrah _zman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silencespeaks View Post
    My friends and sisters all have kids and they all say their life got much harder and they are busy and stressed 24/7. They sacrificed all their personal leisure time and personal development etc for their kids. BUT they say it’s all worth it because they love their kids so much.

    I know there are also a lot of people who secretly regret having kids though. Especially special needs kids or difficult kids etc. Obviously a huge taboo so people don’t talk about it but there are anonymous message boards online where people vent about it.

    I’ve also noticed that the people most vocal about kids are the ones with young kids. When they are still small parents can still project all their hopes and dreams on them and see them as extensions of the parents. Once the kids become teenagers they develop into separate persons though with their own goals and interests and then parents talk about them a lot less. So yes I do think a lot of parents had kids as extensions of themselves, as mini me’s, and they do feel disappointment when the child becomes its own person and chooses a different direction.
    Also, how many married couples with kids do you know on anti-depressants...

    Yeah I know a young couple that ended up having a special needs kid. Come from a great family, well-off, so I'm sure they'll handle it just fine, appear to be anyway. It'd have to end up being the most challenging part of your life though.

    Can't imagine the special needs scenario or simply a bad kid. People won't admit it, but having a bad kid will ruin your life. I knew a family that had one. Damn kid just didn't listen for chit or get his chit together until his mid 20s, pretty much tore the whole family apart. Parents and grandparents did everything for this kid from guidance to supervision, and he was literally from the movie "problem child" i swear. Never improved until he started having problems with the law. Somehow he turned it around.
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    There is nothing more pathetic and sad than a middle 30s to late 40s single person trying to hold onto their youth in pubs and clubs.

    Just think how they look when you're out with your mates and you see them...now thats gonna be you single folks now. Hanging out with people young enough to be your kid. Just sad, pathetic and lonely.
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    Originally Posted by BallsDeep3 View Post
    There is nothing more pathetic and sad than a middle 30s to late 40s single person trying to hold onto their youth in pubs and clubs.

    Just think how they look when you're out with your mates and you see them...now thats gonna be you single folks now...sad, pathetic and lonely.
    When i traveled to parts of Europe, there's plenty of older guys/gals hanging out having a good time. It's more of an American stigma really. Kinda sad that people think you have to stay home with your kids your whole life and not go out and have once in a while with your friends.
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    Originally Posted by _zman View Post
    When i traveled to parts of Europe, there's plenty of older guys/gals hanging out having a good time. It's more of an American stigma really. Kinda sad that people think you have to stay home with your kids your whole life and not go out and have once in a while with your friends.
    Yeah, probably hanging out with people their same age. An older man or woman hanging out with younger people and trying to act/dress young is sad and pathetic.

    Middle age men wearing skinny jeans and middle age women dressing in Forever 21...lol.


    People that have kids hangout with other people that have kids. If you're single and in your late 30s just about all your friends are wifed up and aint bout that life anymore.

    Just another reason why white people will become a minority in the next 30 years in the USA. They're literally being bred out.
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    Your life will be what you make of it.

    As you get older you start seeing the results of choices made in your younger years. If you get to your 30s and still talk about the time you scored 4 touchdowns in a high school football game it will probably be tough. Having a family will not help. You will probably end up selling shoes with a horribly nagging wife, a complete loser son and a slutty daughter. Life will always be miserable if you think you can derive happiness solely from other people.

    The idea of perpetual adolescence, continued late nights at the bars will also not happen. Late nights at the bar getting yucky with the boys should evolve into getting together for some drinks at happy hour or a sports event otherwise you become the old, creepy guys in the corner perving on college girls.

    Happiness is becoming the person you want to be. For me that is a long term relationship with someone that complements my life and also does not want kids, a successful career, financial security allowing me to do things I enjoy, have some toys, and take care of the people I care about, and hobbies that I enjoy.
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    Originally Posted by ohiostate124 View Post
    Getting yucky with the boys? The boys will start families and you will stopped getting invited to things.
    Too much real life lol
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