Nation Prepares To Celebrate 1st Anniversary Of Two Weeks To Flatten The Curve

[keyboardworkout]

https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-p...ten-the-curve/

U.S.—The nation is preparing to celebrate what is expected to become a beloved annual holiday: Two Weeks To Slow The Spread Day, to be held in March every year.

"This time of year we like to come together to remember the historic day one year ago when we put on masks and locked ourselves down, trusting that the lockdown would be over in just two weeks," said local man Paul Christof as he stared out his window longingly, his three masks securely in place. "This year, I'm going all out with a Zoom party with no more than five of my closest friends -- I mean, closest, figuratively speaking, of course. We'll be literally far apart, because I want to stay home and stay safe, and I don't want grandma to die."

Traditional festivities for the newly christened American holiday include remote Amazon gift exchanges, ordering DoorDash feasts for just yourself, and the customary binging of the Netflix. Historians believe the holiday will become a hit, and people will continue to wear masks and stay home throughout the year as the festive day is celebrated for hundreds of years to come.

[Cleveland33]

masks work - that's why you need two now

[djfuzzy]

masks work - that's why you need two now

Three, at a minimum *

Why do you hate grandmothers?

[keyboardworkout]

[sfgiants13]

Three, at a minimum *

Why do you hate grandmothers?

Mandatory 5 masks and daily anal swabs incoming

[sooby]

three masks is better than two though?

why does fauci not care about grandma

[Olympia2018]

I’m done with the mask bull****. All you have to say is you have a medical condition you do not have to show proof


BRB it’s like asking a guy in a wheelchair if he’s really cripple or not and to show proof to wheel around in your store


Lawsuit

[Cleveland33]

I’m done with the mask bull****. All you have to say is you have a medical condition you do not have to show proof


BRB it’s like asking a guy in a wheelchair if he’s really cripple or not and to show proof to wheel around in your store


Lawsuit

actually, you don't have to say chit. The only person to ever ask me to put a mask on was a kid in the drivethru of a local coffee shop.

[JoshSP1985]

actually, you don't have to say chit. The only person to ever ask me to put a mask on was a kid in the drivethru of a local coffee shop.

Wait you were going through the drive-through and were asked to put on a mask?

LMFAO

[rocketfish]

just two weeks, just one month, omg why masks not working

brb keep telling people to wear masks one year later

[Olympia2018]

Wait you were going through the drive-through and were asked to put on a mask?

LMFAO

LOLd

Crazy. Reminds me of time at Chipotle and some lady started screaming “YOURE ALL TO CLOSE IM FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE!!!”

And I quickly replied “then stay the fuk home and don’t go into a Chipotle if you’re that paranoid, absolutely crazy”

And she replied “I know!”

Was weird as fuk next two minutes ordering my burrito

[Cleveland33]

Wait you were going through the drive-through and were asked to put on a mask?

LMFAO

YUP! Every time. And this is a local thing so there is no speakerbox, you pull up to the window, place an order and wait and the kid asked me to put on a mask. I did it for him cause he said it in a way that sounded like he knew it was dumb. And I really wanted green eye.

[Olympia2018]

actually, you don't have to say chit. The only person to ever ask me to put a mask on was a kid in the drivethru of a local coffee shop.

I had the manager at golds tell me to put my mask on correctly and I didn’t say a word back about a month ago.

If he says anything today ima tell him to shut up and go tell all the girls on the treadmills then that he happily walks past smiling with theirs down to their throats to go to tell them and I have a medical condition.

[bluebeltATT]

the very definition of clown world

[AlwaysFocus]

Mandatory 5 masks and daily anal swabs incoming

all manufactured in china ofc


biden's america

[chaunce54]

I think they just made a typo and it was supposed to be "52 Weeks to Flatten the Curve"...

[sooby]

time to corner the anal swab market and price gouge boyos

[LukeLissen]

It's so obvious once you get into the groove of what's going down...

'15 days to slow the spread' becoming indefinite/permanent is simply just another part of the great many tactics and strategy and staged events and propaganda being used until the state of full totalitarianism is achieved, because that primary end goal is what all of this is really about.

[~Hades~]

Shortest two weeks of my life

[rhadam]

LOLd

Crazy. Reminds me of time at Chipotle and some lady started screaming “YOURE ALL TO CLOSE IM FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE!!!”

And I quickly replied “then stay the fuk home and don’t go into a Chipotle if you’re that paranoid, absolutely crazy”

And she replied “I know!”

Was weird as fuk next two minutes ordering my burrito

Had a younger chick with a baby flip out at me during pre boarding. She was standing like 20 feet behind the next person to board, I walk over to get in line and she flips out. I laugh and remark I didn't realize she was in line seeing as how she was 20 feet away from anyone. She calls me an ******* and, in a very demeaning voice, points to her small child and why she's distancing. I laugh again and tell her ya good luck with that as you board a small confined space where there are people sitting less than a foot from you (seat row ahead and behind you).

I just can't understand the stupidity of the average person.

[Shortfuze]

How are we going to celebrate? Peaceful looting and rioting? Nobody seems to get Covid when that happens.

[NitrogenWidget]

Had a younger chick with a baby flip out at me during pre boarding. She was standing like 20 feet behind the next person to board, I walk over to get in line and she flips out. I laugh and remark I didn't realize she was in line seeing as how she was 20 feet away from anyone. She calls me an ******* and, in a very demeaning voice, points to her small child and why she's distancing. I laugh again and tell her ya good luck with that as you board a small confined space where there are people sitting less than a foot from you (seat row ahead and behind you).

I just can't understand the stupidity of the average person.

it's on the same level of "you can't get pregnant if we do it standing up" from high school.

[NitrogenWidget]

How are we going to celebrate? Peaceful looting and rioting? Nobody seems to get Covid when that happens.

I'm thinking i'll loot the jewelry store a few blocks away.
I'm going to get my nips pierced like our leader king cuomo.
I NEED jewelry for that.

does the "you can't get arrested if you need it" rule from CA work in NY?

[sfgiants13]

How are we going to celebrate? Peaceful looting and rioting? Nobody seems to get Covid when that happens.

Funny thing about all of that is even a lot of people who seemed to think that 6 months ago now realize how asinine that was.

People are being redpilled now even in the most liberal echo chambers. Shifting opinions on lockdowns, riots, you name it. I guess even they have a breaking point.

[gixxer0.6g]

All this BS of stripping Americans of their rights and their lives to flatten a curve that did absolutely nothing. Not a single life was saved and the curve was never flattened. The only thing that we learned is that after 10% of the population has been infected, the virus starts to slow down. You have to let it run it's course, just like the hundreds of other viruses in the past.

[bluebeltATT]

Funny thing about all of that is even a lot of people who seemed to think that 6 months ago now realize how asinine that was.

People are being redpilled now even in the most liberal echo chambers. Shifting opinions on lockdowns, riots, you name it. I guess even they have a breaking point.

source?



i gotta see this for myself