https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-p...ten-the-curve/
U.S.—The nation is preparing to celebrate what is expected to become a beloved annual holiday: Two Weeks To Slow The Spread Day, to be held in March every year.
"This time of year we like to come together to remember the historic day one year ago when we put on masks and locked ourselves down, trusting that the lockdown would be over in just two weeks," said local man Paul Christof as he stared out his window longingly, his three masks securely in place. "This year, I'm going all out with a Zoom party with no more than five of my closest friends -- I mean, closest, figuratively speaking, of course. We'll be literally far apart, because I want to stay home and stay safe, and I don't want grandma to die."
Traditional festivities for the newly christened American holiday include remote Amazon gift exchanges, ordering DoorDash feasts for just yourself, and the customary binging of the Netflix. Historians believe the holiday will become a hit, and people will continue to wear masks and stay home throughout the year as the festive day is celebrated for hundreds of years to come.
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02-10-2021, 10:41 AM #1
Nation Prepares To Celebrate 1st Anniversary Of Two Weeks To Flatten The Curve
▪█─────█▪ Equipment Crew #53 ▪█─────█▪
^^^^^^^ 6' 6" and Over Crew ^^^^^^^
------------- No Vax Crew ----------------
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02-10-2021, 10:42 AM #2
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02-10-2021, 10:46 AM #3
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02-10-2021, 10:51 AM #4
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02-10-2021, 10:55 AM #5
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02-10-2021, 10:58 AM #6
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02-10-2021, 11:06 AM #7
I’m done with the mask bull****. All you have to say is you have a medical condition you do not have to show proof
BRB it’s like asking a guy in a wheelchair if he’s really cripple or not and to show proof to wheel around in your store
LawsuitEating "clean" doesn't mean eating "healthy"
Eating "healthy" doesn't mean=muscle mass-Olympia2018
Yeah Baby! Yeah!!!-800 pound deadlift
At weddings all the old ppl say "you're next". At funeral's I tell them "you're next"
Loony, Team_punishment, Desi_guy, yiamsomebody, Nutsy, Camel Jockey, Tattbrah, Ipushfatkids, ScubaStevo crew*
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02-10-2021, 11:08 AM #8
- Join Date: Jan 2010
- Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
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02-10-2021, 11:11 AM #9
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02-10-2021, 11:15 AM #10
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02-10-2021, 11:16 AM #11
LOLd
Crazy. Reminds me of time at Chipotle and some lady started screaming “YOURE ALL TO CLOSE IM FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE!!!”
And I quickly replied “then stay the fuk home and don’t go into a Chipotle if you’re that paranoid, absolutely crazy”
And she replied “I know!”
Was weird as fuk next two minutes ordering my burritoEating "clean" doesn't mean eating "healthy"
Eating "healthy" doesn't mean=muscle mass-Olympia2018
Yeah Baby! Yeah!!!-800 pound deadlift
At weddings all the old ppl say "you're next". At funeral's I tell them "you're next"
Loony, Team_punishment, Desi_guy, yiamsomebody, Nutsy, Camel Jockey, Tattbrah, Ipushfatkids, ScubaStevo crew*
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02-10-2021, 11:17 AM #12
- Join Date: Jan 2010
- Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
- Posts: 45,378
- Rep Power: 407010
YUP! Every time. And this is a local thing so there is no speakerbox, you pull up to the window, place an order and wait and the kid asked me to put on a mask. I did it for him cause he said it in a way that sounded like he knew it was dumb. And I really wanted green eye.
Boomer Rep Crew #1
[]---[] Equipment Crew #37 []---[]
()---() York Barbell Club #3 ()---()
"You want science and studies? **** you. I've got scars and blood and vomit."
-Wendler
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02-10-2021, 11:18 AM #13
I had the manager at golds tell me to put my mask on correctly and I didn’t say a word back about a month ago.
If he says anything today ima tell him to shut up and go tell all the girls on the treadmills then that he happily walks past smiling with theirs down to their throats to go to tell them and I have a medical condition.Eating "clean" doesn't mean eating "healthy"
Eating "healthy" doesn't mean=muscle mass-Olympia2018
Yeah Baby! Yeah!!!-800 pound deadlift
At weddings all the old ppl say "you're next". At funeral's I tell them "you're next"
Loony, Team_punishment, Desi_guy, yiamsomebody, Nutsy, Camel Jockey, Tattbrah, Ipushfatkids, ScubaStevo crew*
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02-10-2021, 11:24 AM #14
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02-10-2021, 11:29 AM #15
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02-10-2021, 11:31 AM #16
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02-10-2021, 11:47 AM #17
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02-10-2021, 11:54 AM #18
It's so obvious once you get into the groove of what's going down...
'15 days to slow the spread' becoming indefinite/permanent is simply just another part of the great many tactics and strategy and staged events and propaganda being used until the state of full totalitarianism is achieved, because that primary end goal is what all of this is really about.
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02-10-2021, 11:58 AM #19
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02-10-2021, 12:02 PM #20
Had a younger chick with a baby flip out at me during pre boarding. She was standing like 20 feet behind the next person to board, I walk over to get in line and she flips out. I laugh and remark I didn't realize she was in line seeing as how she was 20 feet away from anyone. She calls me an ******* and, in a very demeaning voice, points to her small child and why she's distancing. I laugh again and tell her ya good luck with that as you board a small confined space where there are people sitting less than a foot from you (seat row ahead and behind you).
I just can't understand the stupidity of the average person.Psych & handcuffs
Current reading: Vonnegut, Theodor Adorno
House, Techno, and 4Runners
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02-10-2021, 12:08 PM #21
How are we going to celebrate? Peaceful looting and rioting? Nobody seems to get Covid when that happens.
*Simplicity is the key to life*
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02-10-2021, 01:06 PM #22
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02-10-2021, 01:10 PM #23
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02-10-2021, 01:19 PM #24
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02-10-2021, 01:23 PM #25
All this BS of stripping Americans of their rights and their lives to flatten a curve that did absolutely nothing. Not a single life was saved and the curve was never flattened. The only thing that we learned is that after 10% of the population has been infected, the virus starts to slow down. You have to let it run it's course, just like the hundreds of other viruses in the past.
Toxic Masculinity
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02-10-2021, 01:23 PM #26
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